Thursday, December 13, 2007

heartbreak kid

when you're a parent there are few things more heartbreaking than having your child cry on your shoulder because they've been disappointed. i joke around that the girl is a drama queen (and she is) but this week she ran for student council secretary for the fifth grade and lost. it is a popularity contest at this age, heck, at all ages, and she didn't win.

she sobbed about how she's not popular and how unfair it is that the people who did win won just because they are popular. what do you say to that? i tried to make her feel better--failed miserably i think. (the hubs is so much better at these things; maybe it's actually good that he's not here this week and she's come to me) it's hard for me to remember 5th grade and what hurt me then. i asked her if she thought i was a good person and if i had accomplished things (thinking about it now, probably not a fair question since i'm her mom sitting right there) she said yes (of course) and i told her i wasn't popular in school. my friends and i were the smart kids (i know, hard to believe huh??? : ) ) and we did our own thing. i don't really remember being worried about being popular.

however, i can empathize to some degree. this is completely retarded of me and in the big scheme of life i really really don't care, but yesterday my employee told donut that her husband thought donut was cool. i wanted to ask, uh, does he think i'm cool? but didn't. that pricked a little bit. yes, very very childish and stupid and as i said, i really don't care, but if just that little thing made me just a little jealous or whatever, i can imagine how devastated the girl feels about not winning her position.

she has taken to sleeping with me this week now since our girlfriend talk. it's actually sweet. i was in bed asleep by 11 last night. she laid there beside me playing electric sudoku.

the kids got out my fridge poetry magnets. here is the girl's sentence. for some reason this really moves me.
she draws conclusions on a bed of lettuce with invisible ink.


Mrs. A. said...

Why the heck do they need student councils in fifth grade? It's almost like the school wants this sort of crap to go on -- because it seems (if I'm remembering correctly) that fifth graders don't really need to be sitting around running stuff with elected officers or whatever. But maybe that's just what I'm used to at my kids' grade school -- we never had to deal with any of that until at least middle school.

You know how I can tell you did a great job making your girl feel better? Because she wants to "sleepover" with you.

Mrs. A

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mrs. A - that's a sure fire way of knowing that you helped.

All we can ever do with other people - be it kids, friends or family is share our experiences and offer love and support. Seems to me, that's just what you did.

What I've found, personally (not being a popular kid at school either) was that I was "forced" to find my own way and think independantly. At the time it hurt that I wasn't popular or cool, but I don't think I would be as open minded and empathetic of others if I'd have been part of "THE" group.


creative kerfuffle said...

i don't know why they have a student council honestly--they don't even do anything (according to the girl).
i tried to tell her how it's not important to be one of the "in" crowd, but of course you can't make that sink in.
thanks Mrs. A and Spanx for the encouragement : ) it does help.