Monday, March 31, 2008

holy organizational skills batman

it's 3:55 p.m. the doors are finally installed. there is a huge kerfuffle over the doors. this will be a later post but suffice it to say home depot has screwed us anally without lube. we were told we had to get custom doors (read, MORE EXPENSIVE) and the fuckers did not custom make this door. anyway, as i said, that's another post.

so the day, aside from that, has gone well. the girl and her friend (this is the one that lost her 17 yr old brother in feb.) and the boy and his friend have done fabulously. of course they've each done their own thing, but it was really much easier than i thought.

and what did i do while the kids were playing (mostly in the house cos it's been drizzling off and on all day) and the hubs was taking work calls and installing an outdoor light and conversing with the door guy and the door guy was ripping a big gaping hole in my den (did i mention it was freaking cold out today?) and making lots of noise? i was soooooooo productive it really scared me.

i aim to post pictures of my fantabulousness but not right now. i cleaned out ever single drawer in my kitchen for starters. i am talking three jam packed full junk drawers and three kitchen-related drawers. who the hell needs four sets of measuring cups (and those don't include the two in the cabinet)? apparently we do. we must also drink a lot of wine (not) cos we have two bottle openers. we have enough bamboo skewers to have shishkabobs (which we never make) for the next 30 years for 400 people.

i also organized my cabinets (pots and pans can now easily be found as can bowls and lids, etc.) i cleaned out the drawers in the china (which holds NO china cos i don't have any) cabinet. there was a drawer full of craft foam pieces, used. a broken plate in another. i did finally find the last new cassette for the video camera. i found chargers for phones that have been long gone. i found chargers for things i don't even know. i'm afraid to toss them tough because as soon as i do i'll need them.

i also cleaned out this huge blue pottery bowl that sits on the counter and is a black hole of stuff. the hubs hates this bowl. i put everything in it. scout badges that need sewn on? check (though neither kid is in scouts now). what's this? another charger for something? check. two of the hubs' watches that need batteries? check. pocket knife, gameboy game, three rolls of film (ha--that's nothing i have a bag full of film in the computer desk), three rolls of new flypaper (why? why here?) some tools, a camera, cards, expired coupons, etc.

whew. i feel good. i've been meaning to tackle that stuff forever.

oh--and i did a load of laundry and called to clear up an insurance issue. fucking insurance sucks. why oh why if the doctor's office sends a bill and the insurance company doesn't respond, why is that my job to be the go between? and why, after, ohidon'tknow, 10 years of using united healthcare did they all of a sudden hold things up to ask if they were our primary insurance??? just pay the damn claim asswipe!!!

and tonight? the hubs is taking our kids to see horton hears a who and i'm going to a movie with girlfriends. holy shit! yes, i said i'm going to a movie with girlfriends. ok, i think i've done this once in the last (at least) 8 years. when i think about all the friends i have i have been to the movies with big t and spanx and i really think that's it. once. is that weird? sweet t and i really wanted to go see sweeny todd but it was bad timing (too much traveling for me at the time) and scout stuff was going on and it was a scheduling nightmare.

(holy cow batman--i have four kids sitting behind me in the den watching spongebob. no talking, no arguing. surely they're mentally planning something.)

spring break day 3

quick random thoughts cos the dudes are on their way here to install the new patio doors and the computer is in proximity of them so i might be unable to post at will today.

yesterday, despite the frigid temps (40s) and drizzle the hubs took out an annoying bush and a dead dogwood and planted most of the flowers we got friday. we also did the grocery shopping, made cupcakes and cleaned the house.

today the doors are being put in and each kid had a friend coming over to play for the better part of the day.

observations---why do people put pine needles under trees/shrubs/etc. is this a southern thing? i mean think about it. pine needles, something naturally shed by pine trees, are gathered up, bundled and then sold so people can then redistribute them under trees, bushes etc. where they would never be naturally found. very strange.

bed making---did you grow up making your bed as soon as you got up (or at least daily)? neither the hubs nor i did. rarely are beds in our house made. is that weird?

we were talking about the back yard this morning and the hubs said that when we're grandparents he hopes our kids want to play in our yard. we'd get a swing set for them (we just took ours down about a year ago when the kids outgrew it). he said i will be so happy to have grandkids and it's true. perhaps that too is unnatural, i mean for me, with kids of 11 and 8 to already be looking forward to having grandkids? i love babies what can i say? i think perhaps i have a more active baby love button than most. and i just had this epiphany, i think part (but certainly not all) of the reason i can't wait for grandkids is to show my mother what a good grandmother looks like and to prove to her that not only am i a better mother than she but also a better grandmother. yes i am evil and going to hell; this i know.

speaking of grandkids. my mom asked if all the grandkids could spend the night this weekend. mmm, we talked to the kids and frankly neither of them want to go. do i make up an excuse? do i tell her they don't want to? on one hand i prefer this honesty and secretly want her to know they don't want to but i don't want it to be something for her to hold against them. i don't think she'd use it against them but i don't know that i want to expose them in any way to any sort of negativity that would come from their not wanting to go over there. what to do?

ok, so later today i'm going to try to post pictures, just random stuff i've been meaning to post but haven't had a chance to.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

the hubs makes a funny

hubs: we're going to set the alarm and get up at 7 a.m. and start planting flowers.
(he was a little disappointed that it was rainy today and he didn't get to plant.)

me: (looking at him like he'd just grown a second head and 8 arms) uh, yeah right.

hubs: yeah, that's the plan. you get up at 7 and make a pot of coffee and wake me up before you drink all of it except the one cup like you did this morning.

god i love a man with a sense of humor.

day 1 of our spring break

oh my god (said in my best excited valley girl voice) i'm, like so excited because for most of the next 10 days neither the hubs nor i will be working for THE MAN. ok, ok, he'll still have his blasted cell phone strapped to him and will no doubt get phone calls all week (sadly it's such the norm at this point it rarely registers w/ me anymore) and i do have to go in friday for a meeting but rest assured i will be in and out of there faster than a 16 year old boy getting laid for the first time.

10 days of mostly sleeping in late (oh, sweet bliss. one of my favorite feelings in the world is groggily half waking up, peeking at the alarm and realizing you either have an hour left until it goes off or the fucking thing wasn't even set cos you don't have to get up!).

ok, ok, we aren't just sleeping and celebrating that we aren't working folks! it is the KIDS spring break right???? ok, so our goal is to compromise (see that parenting teaching by example thing we're trying out?) and do stuff that everyone enjoys next week. we'll probably be bowling, going to raleigh to the art museum, movies, sci-works (planetarium type thingy i think), etc. w/ some yard work and no doubt visits to lowes or home depot thrown in. something for everyone. (now if there was just some weed thrown in there it truly would be magical!!!)

we just confirmed the boy has a play date (is it a play date for 8 year old boys?) monday (our set aside errand/house crap day cos the patio doors are being installed). his friend is coming here. actually, this kid is very well behaved AND he likes penguins; he's cool in my book.

today was going to be planting flowers day but alas it is raining. i love rain though so it's all good. the boys are going to hang out with my bro and nephew while the girl and i go to the sil's baby shower.

the girl found this this morning--earth hour. everyone turns out the lights tonight from 8-9. interesting. maybe we'll do it. the girl was like, uh, that means NO electricity, for an HOUR? what are we going to do for an hour?? egad. i think we should move to lancaster, pa. and let her see what living w/out electricity is really like (amish country).

one of the boy's purchases last night was yet another light saber. hmmm, yeah, i don't get that, as in understand that, so much cos he already had three. however, i obviously do not have the mind of an 8 year old boy (or if i did, as stephen king said, yes, i do have the mind of a small child. i keep it in a jar on my desk.) who had already decided if he got his dad to super glue the two red light sabers together he could have a darth maul light saber. unkay--not even really sure what that is but lord he was thinking. i have to be honest with you. i did like star wars. i liked all three of them that were made when i was growing up. then this decade things just went to hell in a hand basket because george made movies out of order and these latest ones actually are about the time BEFORE the ones made in the 70s and i'm all confused. people really shouldn't do that.

i'm a little giddy with excitement right now, thinking of the possibility of 10 days of not working for THE MAN. ok, the hub's works for a man; i work for a corporation and a handful of people who may or may not decide to be my boss on any given day. this little episode last 2-3 years of our lives has shown me that it sucks to work for a family business and it sucks to work for the corporate machine. a+b=c so that must mean work just sucks right?

Friday, March 28, 2008

a good friday indeed

although i was dreading today cos i really did have an ass load of work to get done (cos i'm not going to be there all fucking week!!! yeah me) it was a good day.

first i walk in to get a nice present in the mail; then i get blog tagged (a first for me); then i had lunch in the park with sweet t and sneal and sweet t gave me some cilantro; i finished my work and came home.

tonight the girl went to see a movie with a friend and the hubs and the boy and i painted the town red. it's interesting how things are so different when there's only one kid around. of course i love them both (yes, and the girl too even though she's been a pain in the ass lately) but it's nice sometimes to have one by themself.

our evening was tame by most people's standards for a friday night i'm sure. we picked out some flowers for the containers around the house; the hubs got a blue rose bush; then we went to tarjay. i didn't get anything but enjoy being in there anyway. the boy got a few star wars things. (he got these because we just ordered the girl a pre-paid cell phone for her upcoming trip). then we got take out chinese and came home. whoohoo.

oh, AND to top that all off---our third season of lost came in the mail today. i cannot wait for the kids to get in bed and for us to sit down and find out if locke and mr. ecko are dead and what the others are doing with sawyer, jack and kate and if sayid, sun and jin are going to rescue them.

tomorrow is the SIL's baby shower--i'm so excited to see what she gets! we're less than a month away from seeing puddin'!!!!


holy shit. i've been blogging for about two years now and have never, ever been tagged with a meme. frankly i don't even really know what meme means but it's like those tests i totally love to take so ha--i'm doing it. i'm changing the rules a bit though cos i don't know 7 bloggers well enough to tag.

i was tagged by kristin

Rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

seven things about me

1. last night my stomach was itching like crazy. so, any normal (meaning not me) person would think, ok, we're coming out of winter, dry skin, lube up some more, even though i lotion up every morning after taking a shower. that's what any normal person would think right? naaaa, not me! that secret closet in my brain was thinking, you want a baby. donut and SIL are having babies and you want a baby that's why your empty uterus is itching.

2. i like lying close to the hubs and feeling his breath on my face as he plays with my hair. it's not really a sexual thing but more sensual.

3. although i rarely make my bed i think it is the one, quick thing you can do to make the room look clean.

4. i think one of the reasons i enjoy being in our yard so much is that when i was in middle school we had this science project about nature. we had to pick one spot outside and observe everything in that spot several times a week for a month. you had to measure the grass, note any wild life, bugs, whether it had rained, etc. you had to spend at least 30 minutes in that spot. you could draw what you saw there, make charts or graphs etc. it was in the spring in pennsylvania. it was a cool project and i think about that just about every spring.

5. i have a friend who thinks it isn't proper for women to be ministers or presidents. how totally fucked up is that?

6. the hubs and i often dream about having a beach house if we win the lottery. i want one so that every summer, when my kids are grown and have their own families, that we can all get together for a family vacation and i can be surrounded by grandkids. they will call me nana. : )

7. next week is spring break. the hubs and i both took off. though we are not going out of town i am so looking forward to doing things, having fun (hopefully not having kid melt downs) and being with my family. shut up, yes it's cheesy and i bet by tuesday we may be pulling our hair out but it's a lovely thought right? : )

i'm tagging:

big T

my brother by another mother

there are fewer and fewer things i like about my job, but one i've always liked is the friends i've made through work. several years ago i did a story on this guy, TL and his brother. we immediately hit it off. we shared stories of our dysfunctional families; have similar senses of humor, etc. we met in person one year when he was receiving an award and i also got to meet one of his brothers and one of his sisters, who also has taken me under her wing. TL and i do not talk or email every day and we might only see each other once a year at a trade show. i've come to meet another of his sisters through the years and really feel like a part of their extended family.

TL is an explorer. he might not describe himself that way but when it comes down to it he is. though he has a business and does all of that responsible businessy type stuff he's also a world traveler. a few years ago he told me his goal is to run a marathon on every continent. first--how cool is that??? ok, not the running so much cos i don't like running, but the goal is awesome. i've lost count of exactly where he's ran but i know he ran a marathon on the great wall of china, one in rio, the ny marathon and just last month he ran in antarctica.

many of you know by now that not only do i have a obsession love for penguins but my pie-in-the-sky dream is to some day visit antarctica (not to run, just to visit). i realize this will probably never happen so i have lived vicariously through TL's experience.

today when i got to work i had a package from him. he sent me the coolest postcard and penguin necklace! i'll try to take a picture of it this weekend and show you.

the members of his family that i've met are the type of people i'd pick as my siblings if i could pick (except, of course i'd keep my bro cos he rocks). they're smart, opinionated, interesting and one sis in particular is incredibly artistically gifted.

ok, enough of that--i love that family and that's just all there is to it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

apparently we're poor...

at least according to the girl. last week we got the rant about technology. (have i already done this post? i can't remember. if it's duplicated it's only because this is such an issue right now.)

last week she told us she feels like a caveman in a school of high tech because evidently EVERYONE in fifth grade has a laptop, camera cell phone, wii, nintendo ds, a phone and tv in their room and something else i'm sure i'm forgetting. this same conversation included her wishes to stay up later than the boy (they both go to bed at 9pm on school nights) and a higher allowance (she doesn't even really earn the $5 a week she gets now). prior to this her wishes included wanting to wear makeup.

that night we talked to her for quite awhile and then after she went to bed we came up with this compromise. we'd give her my old digital camera and we would go in half with her on the nintendo ds (one of the dogs had chewed up her gameboy) and she could wear some makeup (lip gloss and mascara). she was not thrilled or appeased with this compromise and grudgingly said ok. like she'd done US a favor or something.

flip forward to last night and she starts asking how much spending money we're giving her for her upcoming school trip. this will be her first school trip (3 days) going anywhere without us. i'm a nervous wreck about the whole thing but that's not the point of this post. we are getting her a pre-paid cell to take with her for the trip, she doesn't know this yet. we haven't yet discussed how much spending money she'll get but i told her she can also save her allowance to take (seeing as how we've been making payments on this trip since school started). then she said she doesn't have any name brand (abercrombie & fitch/hollister) clothes. i told her i'm not buying a shirt for $30 but she's welcome to save her money for that. she went on and on and the hubs asked if she thought we were poor. she looked around and said, well, look at where we live. (the pool we put in last year must have escaped her attention.)

uh, i'm so not a materialistic person at all, and we don't live in one of those newer, cookie cutter neighborhoods where the houses are on top of each other, but we also don't live in a hovel. we live in a ranch house in an older, upscale neighborhood. i'd say we're middle to upper middle class. we certainly are doing better than either of our parents did when we were kids and the girl barely remembers the time we lived in the trailer before we bought the house.

anyway the conversation just went on and on. i'm at my wit's end. really, i don't know how we've managed to raise such an ungrateful, diva. she thinks she's entitled to just any and everything she wants and that she shouldn't have to work for or be thankful for any of it and it's really, really pissing me off to no end.

and the thing is, i totally get that most of this is coming from that place inside her that just wants to fit in. i get that. she's not even really interested in the things she wants. the hubs said i'd take her to the mall over spring break (yeah, thanks for that honey) because one of her gripes is that we're too poor to go to the mall. uh, no, we told her we aren't too poor to go to the mall but we both hate the mall and that's why we don't go. i have no doubt that if we do go to the mall she will want to go to build a bear instead of abercrombie & fitch. if i gave her $30 she'd spend it on a bear or webkinz and not a name brand t-shirt. i am positive of this.

i wish i had friends that were older w/ kids cos i need some advice. how the hell do we get through this? how the hell do we change her thought process and get her to not be this selfish, entitled little brat she's becoming?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

on blogging

i'm at that point of the work process where i've done my part and am waiting on other people to do their's so i can resume mine (translation, i'm waiting for pages to proof). i should be working on a presentation also but my brain is pretty fried.

i was reading a blog, playing follow that link (do you do that? read a blog and then look at the links they have on the side or the comments and just end up following a bunch of links?) and read a post about blogging and it had these questions i thought i'd start with.

1. if you are an anonymous blogger would you stop blogging if discovered? mmm, probably, depending on how and who discovered me. many of my real time friends read so i'm not anon to them. before i even told people about my blog it was anon cos i wanted to be able to write without restrictions. i couldn't and wouldn't write about many of the things i do if i actually tied my identity to this.

2. many blogs have regulars. what do you think when they drop off? i will add the flip side of this and what do you think when the blogs you regularly read stop posting. i am curious when regulars stop reading/commenting. was it something i wrote? did i bore them? and for some (the people i don't actually know) i wonder if they're ok. when people stop posting to their blogs i also wonder wtf is up and if something bad happened, though in the big scheme of things it's not my business.

3. do you ever wonder how long you'll keep blogging? nah, i don't wonder about this because i have too many things to write, even if nobody is reading.

i started blogging as a journal for me mainly. i would love to figure out how to save my blog entries because when i'm an old woman i think they will amuse me. plus, it's sort of a chronicle of my life. i used to keep a journal in high school and college and off and on i'd start one and never keep it up once the kids and life got busy. i do like the give and take of the blog though.

a few questions. when you read blogs do you look at the stuff on the columns on the side? do you look at or care about the other blogs they link to? do you like the label feature? i did this for awhile but then stopped. i don't pay attention to other people's labels and didn't know if it was a feature for the reader or more for the writer as a way to find stuff in their blogs. what about links and videos in blog posts? i rarely watch the videos but i do sometimes follow the links.

product loyalty

as you may know i don't have ads on my blog so this post isn't my way of drumming up business for any company, i'm just curious.

do you have certain products or brands you are loyal to?

in general we don't have a lot of product loyalty at my house. here are a few things we are sticklers for though:

miracle whip--the hub's passion, not mine

costco's cleaning wipes--i love cleaning wipes and i've found that theirs are the biggest and most durable. i have been known to spot mop my floor w/ them--wipes, under slippers, move around, done. oh, and btw, you aren't supposed to flush these. i learned this the first year we moved into the house (that has a septic tank). yeah, they don't break down very well and tend to clog up pipes.

cottonelle toilet paper (why do they call it bath tissue? really, like we don't all know what it's for?) seriously though, we don't buy the cheapest toilet paper. ever.

aussie's leave in mousse conditioner--i have curly hair (which has not always been the case--it stayed that way after i had the kids) and have found this works well and doesn't leave my hair feeling crunchy.

bath & bodyworks--frankly any product in that place is my favorite

i am looking for recommendations or experiences with these products--a good mascara (preferably one that does not cost an ass load of money); an anti-aging/moisturizing cream (also, not expensive) and a good mop.

i am trying the swiffer wet jet and so far liking it. it is way better than the mop and bucket system i was using. i think i like it, but am reserving my judgement. the thing is expensive, i mean it's just a mop for god's sake. it takes batteries. but oh, it actually looks like i've mopped when i'm done; and it smells good.

for the anti-aging/wrinkle hider/moisturizer i'm not anal about it. i happened to have some eucerin anti aging cream around (i thought i'd bought eucerin plain cream when the boy was have eczema issues) and have been using it for about a year. it's almost gone so i just bought some ponds wrinkle cream (cos it was on closeout at our grocery store). i've never had a skin regimen. i don't wear a ton of makeup to begin with (never wear foundation) and i don't always wash my face at night. when i do i use noxema. i'm not one of the botox seeking types but if i can put a cream on my face that keeps it from being dry and staves off wrinkles for awhile i'm all for it.

so, any suggestions? products you love and can't live without?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

my sphere of reference

despite the fact that i really am on a killer deadline at work and really am working my ass off i must post again today.

earlier this morning a few of my co-workers and i had one of those round-robin emails going on. i will point out that i am the oldest of the five of us that were emailing by probably six years. it started when one of the young ones sent an email of some actor w/out his shirt on and said that's what she wanted for her birthday. though i noted that he had a totally hot V (i don't know what it's really called but when the guy is cut and there's that little dip in his hips that seemingly directs you to all points south--that's a great body part to me) i said he was too scrawny.

the conversation then rambled to what movie he's going to be in and the four of them were talking pop culture things i just didn't understand. tmz this and STC (sex and the city) that etc. i've admitted this before, i don't know pop culture. i don't normally read people or celeb stuff. it's just not my thing. they joked that they needed to have a crash course in pop culture for me.

then, being the swavy and deboner (suave and debonair) wit that i am i said my coolness meter should be raised cos i own a justin (hotty) timberlake cd, know that he dated cameron diaz and hosted the kca's. then i further explained that jack black was born on my birthday (not the same year) and that he's this year's host for the kca's. i knew they would not know what kca's are ; )

admittedly i was feeling a bit down, unhip, out of touch, when we left for lunch. three of the four friends were my lunch buddies. then i struck gold. one of my friend's husbands brought their little boy (who'll be 3 in august) to visit with us at lunch.

i totally had a blast. i know the important things in life---i know who swiper is and that blue lives with joe or steve depending on if it's a rerun or not. i know clifford and max and ruby and curious george. i know and am not ashamed to make all of the animal noises, even in public. i know that peeing in the potty is a big deal. i felt vindicated : )

danger, warning, pre-teen alert

::sigh:: i know i said the girl is dangerously close to turning into a six-headed monster becoming a woman, but i'm more convinced than ever. let me set the scene.

in our little neck of the woods it got down to 29 degrees last night. there was frost on the ground/cars this morning. in parts of the area snow flakes were seen yesterday. (i know, crazy after the awesome weekend we had). it is only supposed to get up to about 56 degrees today. the girl's fifth grade classes are in trailers. all very nice, running water, electricity, etc. but they have to go into the school (which means being outside) to go to lunch, the library, p.e., etc.

this morning she's getting ready and i poke my head in her room. she's wearing short sleeves. so i said, hey sweetie, it's going to be cold like it was yesterday, you need a long sleeve shirt on. but mooooommmm (you know that voice) i can wear a jacket. me--you need a long sleeve shirt on. her--i don't have any. me--yes you do so please put one on.

then i go about getting myself ready. the hubs is sitting in our room drinking coffee when the first attack occurs. she huffs into our room and throws one long sleeve shirt on the floor. i can't wear that one because when i raise my hand my belly shows (i've talked to her about not wearing shirts when she's outgrown them). ok i said, find another one. she huffs back into our room with a long sleeve shirt she's worn a million times. this one is see through. (yeah, cos i buy her see through clothes). ok, find another one.

while i'm in the bathroom combing my hair she artfully tries to manipulate the hubs. my hubs is a very very astute man, especially when it comes to sizing up people, reading between their lines, etc. however, he is finding himself in uncharted water with the girl. why? because he is logical and is trying to apply logic and it's not working. it's like spock trying to understand deana troi (shut up, yes i've watched star trek). he asks her, honey, i don't understand why long sleeves are such a big deal. her, daddy, you wouldn't understand (she's near tears, knowing that softens him up) because you can't think like a young boy any more. the hubs is confused. he tries to reason with her, talk to her, it's not working.

she finally puts one on and is pulling at the sleeves and acting like it's burning her skin.

the hubs, meanwhile, is flabbergasted.

i come out, she's still fuming and acting like the shirt is attacking her body. she's mouthing off about the shirt, running it into the ground. i finally say, look, in this instance you aren't going to win. i am the parent, we are not discussing this any more, you're wearing a long sleeve shirt and that's it. finish getting ready now.

the hubs is still confused. he's thinking there is something more going on than the shirt. is there a bigger issue? this isn't too far off base because the girl does often fake left and complain about one thing when there's actually something on the right that's really the issue. however, this time it is nothing other than the fact that i told her to wear a long sleeve shirt. i tell him we could have argued about it another 20 minutes and nothing would have changed. there was no reasoning with her at that point.

as we're walking out the door i say to her, you know, even though you've been a brat this morning i still love you. she doesn't comment. we get in the car. halfway on the way to school she starts. you know, even though you're being a witch i love you and i can't believe you're making me wear a long sleeve shirt. girl, we aren't discussing this anymore; it is done. she huffs something else. i'm serious, one more word about it and you'll start losing allowance. she huffs and sighs and throws a kleenex. girl, that's a dollar. whhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaattt? what i can't do ANYTHING? not if that anything involves attitude. we finished the ride in silence.

ah, yeah i love starting my mornings like that.

hmmm, there is a pattern here i think. while the girl has her bad days more than once a year, i have noticed that the truly crazy weeks that involve things we can't see to fathom are march related. remember the flip flop incident last march?

one thing that astounds me is the way these moods hit us from out of nowhere. last night she was all affectionate, dancing with me in the kitchen, sitting on my lap before and after dinner, and then wham--this morning's episode. hmmmm, perhaps now i'm seeing a bit of how the hubs might feel with me? i know one of his fears is that (due to my gene pool) the girl will be bi-polar.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

i feel pretty and witty and wise

ok, not really but that lyric popped in my head and i am feeling better than the wagon post.

here are some random things over the last few days that give me reason to smile. they are in no particular order.

1. my kids played outside more than they were inside today AND they played together without fighting. before you ask how the hell that happened don't because i have no earthly clue. they were outside. they were jumping on the trampoline. they weren't fighting. that's enough for me!

2. i reunited with my yard today. it's silly i know but today was the first time we had the time and the weather to actually do anything in the yard. i mowed. is there anything sweeter than the smell of mown grass? i pruned dead stuff. i said hello to the little buds that are emerging. my peonies, though far from anywhere near coming up, are just starting to poke through the ground.

3. we watched the sound of music night before last. i love the hell out of that movie and omg my kids do too. well, at least i think they do. they sing along to most of the songs w/ me. the boy watched it twice saturday by himself. we are so very impressed because get this--the guy who plays rolf (the nazi telegram boy) is actually the grandfather of one of the boy's classmates! how unbelievable is that?? he's coming to school to visit soon.

4. we hung out with my bro/sil/nephew/puddin yesterday. the nephew has moved into his "big boy" silver and red spiderman room to make way for his little sister (who's coming in april). i got to see the baby's room for the first time, soooo sweet. and the baby clothes, omg. ok, just for a sec i really really wanted another. i will console myself though with the fact that come april i'll have a baby to hold and in june i'll have another when donut has munchkin. i bought them matching outfits already : ) lol

5. burning leaves. the hubs finally got to burn leaves today. we've been under a burn ban since the fall and the leaves were all over the place. we still have some yard work to do but it looks loads better already.

6. ummm, catching up on big Os. yeah, when i'm in that bitchy, alter-ego, pissy mood i'd been in most of the week we missed out on Os. i think it released a lot of pent up endorphins or something.

7. ham. i love ham. i like making it (hello, can we say easy? pop it in the oven, maybe drizzle some sugary something over the top and done) and it's smells so good and tastes so good and everyone in the family likes it.

8. lindt's lindor truffle chocolate and peanut butter m&ms; the yummy goodness candy the easter bunny brought me.

9. watching peter cottontail (bass & rankin) this morning with the kids.

10. fantasizing about all the things we want to do with the yard. we try to do a little something each year, whether it's plant something new, put in a flower bed, etc. i've given up hope on the flower bed the hubs planted in the backyard last year. it was so perfect, in theory. we put it in the right front corner of the back yard with creeping flox, a rose tree and my bird girl of savannah statue. ah, so idyllic. uh, that is until the houdini dog and leah decided if they got in there they could get a better look at the neighbor's yard and their bark would carry further.

what every day things make you happy?

(i'm going to have some hot tea and raid my easter basket)

happy spring-renewal-he's-alive-solstice celebration

first, happy easter to my peeps! sorry, i couldn't resist. there is a whole peep culture you know. google it. there are peep fights, peep eating contests, etc. it's a peep nation. i wonder if anyone actually eats these things though. to me they are pretty nasty and i've never liked them.

which brings me to easter baskets. the girl got up around 7:30ish and then waited a little while to wake up the boy. they came and roused me shortly thereafter. easter baskets are still loot and exciting for them, though the girl does not believe in the great hopper any more. the boy clings to the myth, but i think he knows and just isn't saying.

as they were looking through their baskets and i was mainlining drinking my first cup of coffee, the boy asked the girl: "uh, why does the easter bunny leave a big chocolate BUNNY for us to eat?" she said, "well, because nobody wants to eat a big chocolate chicken." don't you love kid logic?? ; )

this year they got the usual candy--big chocolate bunny w/ lots of other chocolate stuff and then i slipped in a stuffed horton for both. the girl got a tube of mascara and a littlest pet shop tini-gift and the boy got a star wars coin holder thingy and a tini-lego thing. the hubs and i also did easter baskets for each other. we used to do this more often, before the kids came along, and then sort of fell off doing it for awhile. i gave him candy. my basket had a johnny depp movie in it, a little stuffed penguin, oil for the lawnmower (cos i love mowing and it needs changed so i can mow) and some candy.

my kids are lucky. they don't get candy they don't like in their baskets. growing up we always, always got jelly beans and peeps in our baskets. the peeps were unwrapped so they always had grass stuck to them. i don't like peeps. i don't think any of us did. jelly beans are ok if they're they good kind, but the ones that are like $1 a bag have no taste; i'm a jelly bean snob. as kids i used to trade loot w/ my brother (as my kids did this morning). i'd give him all my jelly beans and peeps and those other things that were egg shaped that were nasty (i.e. not chocolate) for his footballs. um, yeah. growing up my favorite candy was the multi colored foil footballs in my basket. i know, me, the non-sports person. did it ever occur to me they were supposed to be chocolate eggs? uh, no. i've always thought of them as footballs. bizarre, i know.

i think my parents also used to hide eggs for us to find in the morning. the hard boiled ones we'd colored because we didn't do plastic eggs back in the day. obviously now i'm like, ewwwww, hard boiled eggs left out over night? that's gross. plus, we can't really hide things like that around the house, i think the dogs would have a field day.

today my dad and grandma are coming over for dinner. my mom and sister (and her kids) made their annual pilgrimage to visit one of my aunts, leaving my dad once again. ya know what, yeah, i know he's an asshole most of the time but i still think it's shitty of my mom to leave him on holidays.

and now--here's my favorite easter cartoon of all times : )

Saturday, March 22, 2008

falling off the wagon

hmmm, a little self analysis today. i think i sort of fell off the sanity/well being/good mental health truck this week and landed in a puddle of evilness/bi-polarness/wft-disease. i don't mean to joke if you're bi-polar. one thing i'm learning from reading blogs is there really are a lot of people out there who either think they are bi-polar or who have been diagnosed with it.

anyway, i've been off this week. personally i haven't really felt any differently, well, maybe a little blue for no apparent reason, moody, again, for no apparent reason. i get pissed easily. most of this has been taken out on the hubs. i swear, really, if a man deserved a medal for putting up with shit mine would be like the 4 star general of the planet. seriously dude.

i got mad at a comment he made on my blog; totally taken out of context. i got mad when he asked me where to hang the hand towel round thingy he was putting in the kids bathroom, along with a towel hook thing--all for me to put me in a better mood. i got mad when he made faces and comments when i got a work call yesterday at 4pm (because i thought he was mad at me--when in fact he was talking about the fact that the call took 15 minutes for nothing and this person is always long winded, which i've said a million times myself). i've been pissy with him in general. of course he's not lily white--he's had a tude w/ me too. but i guess after you've had your head bitten off 20 kabillion times for nothing you're likely to get a tude.

what is wrong w/ me? i don't typically like to rely on lamo excuses like, it's my time of the month (and it's not right now) but perhaps it is hormonal stuff? the girl has been out of whack this week too--pissy for no reason, fussy, ready to argue at the drop of a hat. she's 11 and thank god hasn't started yet, but omg maybe we're doing some unconscious female hormone meld or something?

the poor hubs got to the point last night where he was asking which one of me he was talking to. if i step out of the moment and view myself i really could be sybil. blank eyed and antagonistic one minute and then remorseful and wanting to make up the next. do you do this?

and honestly, i know i've said this before, but the hubs and i really have been on one of those really good plateaus for quite awhile. our relationship has always been like a thrill ride, roller coaster, love-hate, can't live without thing. the ugly times were horribly ugly and the good times were awesome, but in general we've found our groove and things, at least in my mind, are really, really good. so it's not like i'm secretly pissed about anything or harboring a bad vibe against him.

Friday, March 21, 2008

a day off for all

i know it's good friday, but we haven't been to church in a blue moon and easter really snuck up on me this year and frankly we're just not doing anything really this weekend. (oh, except we are going to the SIL/BRO's house tomorrow and i get to see puddin's nursery for the first time and the nephew's new big boy room! i can't wait!!! plus we haven't hung out with them sans the rest of the family in forever). i had planned to take off today w/ the kids (school/daycare closed) about a month ago--before discovering that a work deadline moved from the 31st to the 26 just day before yesterday. the hubs found out this week that his office is closed today too so low and behold we're all home together.

the plumber is here fixing the leaky faucet in my bathroom. he just came to tell me that it was just a matter of time before ours shot high speed water out of the spigot and started leaking in our wall. so i guess we've avoided a worse, more ass-rapingly costly expensive crisis.

the hubs is out mowing the tundra backyard, though i really would like to be doing that. i love mowing. on a riding lawn mower. the kids are on the trampoline.

i've boiled the eggs that we'll decorate in a little while. i love dying eggs. i've read through my usual blogs, some of which are mom/family blogs and i haven't read about anyone dying eggs. do people not do this any more? we grew up dying eggs and decorating sugar cookies and carving pumpkins, all things i love doing to this day.

i was going to whine and complain that my comments have dropped off, but i know some/many of you are still reading. now that i read so many blogs, usually on a daily basis, i guess i can understand why i don't get a comment on every single post. i read a lot of posts but i don't comment on them all. that's not to say i don't enjoy them, i just don't have anything to add i guess. there are two or three that i read that get so many comments that i'm intimidated. i really like one of these blogs, the writing is incredible, the woman so honest about motherhood, but she gets like 30-60 comments all the time and it feels so impersonal to me. eh.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

we've got the power

though some of you may disagree with me, woman wield the power in the world. why? because we have vaginas.

before you start ranting or screaming something feminist or politically correct at me, hear me out.

we are the bosses of our vaginas and we say if, when, where and how we are having sex. men can try to influence our decisions on this with romance, foreplay, etc. but ultimately we say yes or no.

we also are the ones to decide if something is inappropriate or not. (see previous post).

we have the power of reproduction; not just giving birth but the decision to have one or not. yes, hopefully couples discuss this and come to a mutual decision, but think about it, once we get that egg fertilized it's all about us. we have the choices and though they can voice their opinions and try to persuade, it's our decision.

the ousted ny gov was brought down by a vagina. well, actually many vaginas. i am not excusing anything he did, but we don't know the back story there. perhaps his wife, for whatever reason, decided she was no longer going to have sex with him. perhaps this went on for years. i'm certainly not saying cheating is the way to go, but in that case it's understandable, sort of.

i know of a couple that hasn't had sex for 5-6 years now because the woman decided she's still pissed about something that happened nearly 40 years ago. before five years ago she had sex with her husband. there are myriad other issues surrounding that relationship, and both parties have done wrong. i'm not saying you should have sex if you don't want to, dutiful sex isn't good for anyone in the long run, but in this particular situation she's being passive/aggressive. she's wielding her power unfairly. in this situation, no, i wouldn't fault the man for finding release elsewhere.

no, we aren't governed by our sexual desires/needs, but they also aren't to be ignored.

i'll admit there were times i wielded my power without thought to how it made the hubs feel and how it impacted him. i was selfish. things do change once you get married and have kids but that shouldn't mean you still don't or can't have certain expectations from your partner. it's a two way street.

lord, i have no idea where i'm going with this post other than to say to my fellow keepers of the power--realize how much power you wield and be fair with it.

i think it's probably safe to say that (in general) men feel like once they get married their wives aren't as adventurous and "fun" as they were before getting married. on the other hand, women might say that men aren't as sensual and romantic after getting married as they were when they were dating.

is this human nature? the thrill of the chase brings out the romantic, adventurous sides of us and then once we've chosen our mates we settle down? or is it because we become complacent?

Monday, March 17, 2008

and you think i'm a perv

i had to leave work early today cos the plumber is coming to fix the leak in our bathroom. i get home, scoop out the litter box, make sure everything looks presentable and low and behold the hubs walks through the door. apparently the plumber had called him to get directions etc. and this was a different guy than the one he spoke to on friday. this guy was confused about what he is to be fixing so the hubs came home to make sure i didn't get screwed.

he said that and i said, uh, yeah, like i'm going to screw the plumber.

and the hubs said, well, if it will knock something off the bill....

then i said, ok, well, you can stay here and i'll pick up the kids from daycare. and he said, but i thought we were going to have wild afternoon sex.

i said, while the plumber is here?

he said yeah, we can go to the kitchen.

yes ladies he was just kidding, unless of course i would have said, sure, let's do it.

however, i know that mine is not the only hubs that does this. i've read other blogs and many husbands out there are just as inappropriate.

i admit most of the time it amuses me but i wonder why they do it?

edit---ah, we're gonna get screwed after all. the price quoted on friday is about $400 less than the price the guy said today. damn i should have become a plumber.

horton hears a who

no doubt i will be going to see this movie soon, the kids are clamouring for it.

i will go see horton,
see horton yes i will.
i love dr. seuss
love him even still.

we'll watch it in the dark
not sitting in a park.
we'll have popcorn and a drink
and perhaps it will make the kids think.

but dear lord i hope it doesn't make them think about abortion as apparently way too many people are wont to do. really? horton hears a who is now supposedly an anti-abortion movie? get for fucking real folks. i'm sure dr. seuss had no such intentions. why or why do people take a perfectly good children's movie and try to fuck it up for the rest of the world? though we haven't seen the golden compass movie yet, when it came out people were talking bad about it because the author of the book was an atheist. so? atheists can't spin a good yarn? i am so over the petty judgemental people that try to turn every stinking thing into a good versus evil battle. harry potter is not trying to turn all the little kids gay and teach them to worship the devil; the music industry isn't trying to turn kids into pimps and whores and horton isn't saying don't kill the babies.

shit folks---if you're a parent it's your job to raise your kids and not rely on extremists to influence you with what they think such and such movie/record/book means. dammit i hate stupid people.


hey, how was your weekend?

ours was good, productive, but i was/am sick. it started friday night. you know you're an old married couple with kids when your friday night consists of grocery shopping : ) it was there, amid the aisles that the bug hit me. i felt clammy, achy and yuck. the hubs also installed our new fireplace cover thingy. poor boy has been saving his change since the beginning of last year for that thing : ) thank god the black and gold is gone. ya'll know how i feel hate about gold.

saturday the hubs let me sleep until about 1 p.m. we then went to the home super-center place and ordered our patio doors and got the faucet that the plumber will replace today. then we went to my folk's house for my dad's birthday. i hope when i'm 60 years old that the extent of my gifts are not blockbuster/target cards because people don't know what the hell else to get me. the hubs said we should get him some jim beam but ya know, i just can't go there. oddly enough he (my dad) is so like my grandma. there is absolutely nothing to get him or her. they don't do anything, they don't collect anything, etc.

sunday i again slept in late and the hubs had most of the house cleaned when i got up. like dusting and vacuuming clean. i love it but at the same time felt terribly guilty for not being up and helping. but really, i was still feeling puny. after running a few errands we came home and cleaned our room/bathroom, the hubs made his yummy meatloaf and we watched lost. you know i felt bad friday and saturday cos we didn't watch lost.

switching gears

being at my parents' house made me think about playing favorites. as a parent i don't have a favorite. ok, that's a lie. but the thing is my favorite changes. sometimes the boy is my favorite. sometimes the girl is. i could never choose between the two of them. i assume all parents feel this way, however, how many of you thought you were your mom or dad's favorite growing up?

i always thought i was my dad's favorite and my brother was my mom's favorite. my sister was SOL at that point but i think as adults my sister is my mom's favorite; or at least the one that is most like her.

i think the hubs was his mom's favorite.

so--as parents how do we raise our kids to not think they're the favorite? i don't want one of my kids thinking i prefer the other. i'm sure my parents didn't want that either, but i grew up thinking that. is that just the way things are? regardless of what we do as parents will the kids always think so and so is the favorite???

one more thing---i think i've finally found a mop i love. the swiffer wet jet. holy crap it does a good job. ok, so far. i've used it once on our bathroom and the kitchen. but it beats the hell out of the other mop that really left pet hair and lint all over the damn place and you couldn't tell i'd just mopped. what mops have worked for you?

Friday, March 14, 2008


yes, i am actually goofing off working today. i have playing in the background and this song is on, yellow by coldplay and here are the lyrics

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."

So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.

I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.

Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."

Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.

It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.

happy friday

oh hell yeah! in the comment section sue graciously gave me the directions for striking words! yeah fanfuckingtastic!

on another note--i'm wondering about rss feeds. i am not that techno advanced but i think i need to start doing that. i'm reading more and more blogs (remember my addictive nature?) and it's not so hard to check in every day to see if there's a new post, but i hate clicking through the posts to see if there are new comments, cos comments are cool too. so, any help on that front would be appreciated.

a few updates

the girl tried out for the school talent show this morning. at 7:30 a.m. this meant i actually did have to get up at 6:30 a.m. (that's in the morning, when it's still dark). as well all know i am not even remotely a morning person. but that's not the point. she did well this morning. she was nervous (oh, she was singing a cheetah girl song btw) and sort of rigid, not animated like she was last night performing at home. she sang well, she really knows the song and is comfortable with it, but she was nervous. i hope the judges (teachers) see through that. this is the second year she's auditioned and she didn't make it the last time. each time she's done it i try to make her realize how proud we are that she's even auditioning. i certainly couldn't do it. she's brave, really she is.

remember the leaky faucet the hubs fixed? well, it wasn't really fixed and in fact we need a plumber for it. we've been showering in the kids' bathroom this week. odd how you get in to such a routine that something as insignificant as changing showers throws you off, but it has. the plumber comes monday.

i found these quotes today while i was looking for something else. enjoy.

"[Writing] has nothing to do with communication between person and person, only with communication between different parts of a person's mind." -- Rebecca West

"There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time." -- Rebecca West

It seems to me that the problem with diaries, and the reason that most of them are so boring, is that every day we vacillate between examining our hangnails and speculating on cosmic order. ~Ann Beattie, Picturing Will, 1989

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow

It is the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion." -- Rebecca West

The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies. Ray Bradbury

My language is the common prostitute that I turn into a virgin. Karl Kraus

Authors and lovers always suffer some infatuation, from which only absence can set them free. Samuel Johnson

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. Graycie Harmon

and you think i'm weird

if you've read me for any length of time (or perused the archives or know me in real life--like this is fake?) you know that my family takes the fun out of dysfunctional (except the bro and sil). anyhoo--yesterday was my dad's birthday; we're celebrating it saturday at my folk's house. i know, you're so jealous you can't be there.

being the dutiful (or suck up according to my bro) daughter i called him on my way home to wish him a happy birthday. he and his friend jim beam had already started hanging out. but, this was not ya know cos it was his birthday, this is just typical come home from work mode. and when he drinks he's talkative, really the only time he's talkative. so he's telling me about his day at work. he works for one of those big home improvement places, the ones where they wear aprons. apparently their store birthday ritual is to gift the person with a pair of giant, flesh colored granny panties. how this has not become a human resource nightmare i have no idea; however, after yesterday it just might.

my dad, even when sober, does some pretty shocking things. when gifted with these panties he put them on, over his pants, and wore them. in the store. when the store was open. all day. he thought this was quite funny. but, it gets better. the store had a customer appreciation cookout yesterday, you can just imagine how many people that draws, free food in a home improvement warehouse? yeah. so the granny pantie clad dad walks out there and lifts his apron to flash people. i wasn't even there and i'm dying of embarrassment.

then, get this, he says, you know, i had no idea so many people had camera phones. no fucking shit sherlock! i haven't googled it yet but i would be highly surprised if a picture of him isn't up on the internet today. initially i thought, ok, this is embarrassing and oddly humorous. the more i stew on it i just think, what the fuck????? really, who DOES that kind of shit? he's a grown, 60 year old man for christ's sake. wearing granny panties. in public!

so dear readers, the next time you read one of my posts and think, man she's really fucked up or off the deep in or just plain nuts, remember this and realize that this is half of the gene pool i crawled out of. frankly it's a miracle that i'm even a moderately well adjusted productive member of society.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

some of my recent finds

here are a few sites/blogs i've found lately that either excite or amuse me.

bent objects---no, it's not sexual.

the junk pyramid---omg, this is intriguing and exciting to me. i'm really thinking about trying this.

passive agressive notes---too funny

hero machine---because in this day and age who doesn't need a hero?

what's been tripping your trigger lately? please share.

ny's sex scandal

hmmm, you know what? i don't care that the govenor of ny was paying for sex. i know there are other issues, like how when he was the attorney general of the state he was cracking down on just that thing, etc. and i'm not getting into the politics of it.

i want to talk about the prostitution side of it. before i start i just want to say, i don't pay for sex and am not advocating prostitution, but really, why IS it illegal? if it's legal for a woman to have an abortion if she wants to, why isn't it legal for her to sell her services if she wants to? yes, i realize many women who do this do not WANT to, it's not like they wake up and think, hmmm, i wanna be a ho. however, if it was legalized it could be regulated and controlled and you could eliminate the abusive pimps and stds etc. (yeah, like i'm so up on what goes on in a pros life). i'm just saying, i don't get why it's illegal.

same with drugs actually. and no i'm not saying everyone should go out and snort some coke or make their own meth lab etc. but alcohol and tobacco kill more people each year than drugs. yes, the violence that surrounds drugs kills people, but most of that has to deal with the fact that they're illegal. again if drugs were legal they could be taxed, regulated, etc.

it's all really just a way to impose someone else's moral values on the public.

warning, explicit content post

ok, first, let me apologize because as of late (like since monday) and mostly in real life, i've been out of it and by that i mean lethargic and tired. when i get lethargic and tired my dirty mind works overtime. i think it's my way of trying to wake myself up? i don't know. then, when i do that and people are all flabbergasted by it i just get worse. so if i have offended you this week (fuck you) i mean, i'm sorry. (please someone, if you know how to do strike through words tell me how!)

after the egg post i did get some questions about it's usage and so i thought i'd clear up a few things. first, no, the egg is not cold, not at all. the battery is in the egg shaped part. like many things with batteries they get warm when used. second, it really is better as an external stimulus rather than internal. it's really too small for internal imho.

yes, in the last six months or so i have started traveling with it. this does not mean that i use it every time, every night i'm traveling. no, i am not a nympho. the hubs can attest to that. no, we are not an over sexed couple (what is that anyway?) and no we do not have sex every day. we don't talk about sex every day. really, it is not the most important part of our life. it is a very good part of our life, but not the most important.

this was my night

10 pm--i actually went to bed early; the girl (who'd gone to bed at 9 was still awake so she came to bed with me since the hubs is out of town).

10:30 or 11--i finally get to sleep because the girl has been talking a lot. she said she likes this mom and her time. i really tried to cherish it but was having trouble staying awake.

1am--the dogs bark. my heart races and i panic. i listen for the intruder i'm sure is breaking in. no noise. i realize the phone in our room doesn't work and we need to get one in there that does in case we need to call 911 at 1 am. though i totally despise guns i'm thinking i should have the hubs at least show me how to load and hold a gun. but, if you walk out and catch the intruder and you're holding a gun won't they just shoot you on the spot (especially if their coked up?).

i doze off.

1:30 am--my eyes fly open. did the girl lock my car (with the garage door opener in it?) when she went out to get something or another before starting her homework?

then i began formulating a plan just in case someone DID break in when the hubs was gone. the boy's room is the first one in the hallway and this freaks me out if i think about it too much. he would have to come to my room and i'd put them both out of the window and tell them to go next door to the cop's house and stay there. i'd have to be explicit w/ the girl about leaving her cat and not worrying about it. i'd want them out of the house as quick as possible.

after that i didn't give it much thought and drifted back to sleep.

5:30 am--the dogs barked again. then i had the sensation that the hubs had just gotten out of the shower; i could smell the soap on him and then his cologne. then the dogs came in the room. i let them out. i peed. i let them back in. i should have stayed up right? nope, back to sleep cos the first alarm is set for 6:30.

6:30 am---dogs want out again. i let them out and though i lamely said it was time to get up as i walked by the boy's room and crawled back into bed with the girl, i knew we weren't getting up.

6:45 am--the second alarm goes off. (granted, my clock is set 20 minutes ahead of real time. i know, i'm incredibly weird). i relish in the fact that i can TECHNICALLY sleep another 20 minutes and still be ok.

7:30 am real time--the snooze didn't go off and i look at the clock and panic. we have to get up. we have to leave the house in 30 minutes. i will shower after i take them to school.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

magic shell, eye candy and a leaky aura

i'm sure magic shell is probably the worst, most chemically engineered type of chocolate goo on the planet, even if it is made by that wholesome smucker's company, but omg it is so incredibly yumtastically good.

speaking of yumtastically good things, i finally got these pictures to upload. i have been without lost for two days now as the hubs is out of town. the pristine, still shrink wrapped season two is waiting patiently for his return. i have even been incredibly good about not googling the hell out of lost and reading everything i could possibly read about it. i don't want to ruin it for us. i don't want to know (but at the same time it's killing me not to) what's going to happen. i stumbled on to a blog this evening and the second post started talking about lost so i honestly, cross my heart, did not read it and did not bookmark the site. for that a reward is due so here are pictures.

sawyer. even in the fucked up glasses that sayid pieced together for him, he's hot. he's reading for god's sake. he's smart, even if a con man. i do have to admit, i'm a bit put off by his shoulders though. though he's honed, his shoulders are not broad like i like em.

and here is sayid. granted in real life i probably couldn't deal with the hair but the character he plays is awesome. and in real life? he's married or in a long term relationship with barbara hershey? remember her? from beaches? wow. who knew? his accent in real life is nothing like his accent on the show (much like hugh laurie). plus in this shot that shirt has got to go, that is so 1970s.

i'm going to be early tonight because i'm still not on track with the time. ok, you want to know a secret? this is so retarded i can't even believe i'm voicing it but here is my theory. so last week, last monday night i think it was, i went on that walking ghost tour in savannah. the next night (tuesday--and today is tuesday) i came back to my room and was just in a hazy fog. incredibly tired. like narcoleptically tired. i called home and talked to the hubs and kids and 10 minutes later, around 8:30 or so, i crashed. lights on, clothes on, etc. fell dead asleep.

today i have been in a similar fog. i came home and after dinner (the boy decided he didn't want to go to scouts) i crashed for 30 minutes. i woke up, paid some attention to the kids, they went to bed and now i'm back to, uh, hello, must close eyes.

so my theory is something from that last evil house we saw on the tour has leaked onto me and is nipping at the edges of my aura.

i have a teenage boy's sense of humor, and i'm not giving it back

today my friend guinea pig said (via email) that i was a child. despite my 39 years i am still easily amused.

words like hump day, wood, coming, (you get my drift) are processed differently in my brain than in other people's brains. the words are read or heard and filter into my brain and then the dirty mind switch is flipped and it's all over from there.

i can't help it. it might be genetics. my brother also has this sense of humor. it might be environment. my husband has this sense of humor.

i know it is uncouth and base and "uncultured" but i can't help it.

for example:
my brother is thinking of a name for his computer company. we just talked on the phone. he said friendly techs.
i thought he said friendly tits or friendly dicks and laughed out loud.

it is not, as some people assume, that i'm thinking about sex all the time. i don't, trust me, ask the hubs. but this suggestive humor tickles my funny bone. (i said bone! LOL)

ok, i'll get back to work now.

parents and sex

the egg post and the comments that sprung from it got me to thinking. (i'm brain dead at the moment so this could be ugly. the hubs is out of town, i couldn't sleep last night and this day light savings shit is kicking my ass more than usual. i could still be asleep right now, or at least an hour ago).

though it freaked me the hell out that the girl discovered my egg and that she asks so many probing questions, i am sort of glad for it. i want her to ask. i don't want her to grow up thinking sex is taboo or that her body is taboo or tote around the sexual baggage i've had. with all of my thoughts/hangups (i know, you're thinking uh, YOU have hangups? trust me, i do) you'd think i was raised in a highly religious home.

i guess my hope is that she (and the boy for that matter) grow up knowing the hubs and i love each other and have a healthy sex life (what is a HEALTHY sex life? who knows). not that we have sex right there in the living room (at least not when they're awake) but i mean i want them to see us hug and cuddle and kiss (not deep throat) and realize that moms and dads love each other like that.

my parents were not often physical with each other. i rarely saw them hug or kiss or show any affection. however, there were a few times when i was a teenager that freaked me out. i heard them having sex one night. their room was across the hall from mine and we were a family that left the bedroom doors open at night. you'd think they could have closed it for that.

another time the hubs and i had gone to the movies; i was about 15-16. i don't think we'd been dating long. when we got home and i unlocked the door my parents were under a blanket on the couch. my dad poked his head out and was waving my mom's underwear. they'd been drinking. (hmmm, many of these times involved alcohol; hmmm, probably another shrink session in there). i was mortified. the hubs laughed and to this day thought it was funny and was not embarrassed.

i guess my point is that if my kids growing up seeing affection and love that the sex part won't gross them out or won't be so taboo.

am i kidding myself? what were your parents like? do you think that influenced how you see sex now?

Monday, March 10, 2008

things i've learned reading blogs

1. i am not the only parent in the world who has had moments of wondering why the hell i had kids to begin with. i'm sure these times are not over. for you parents out there of young children or who are expecting--it's ok. there will be days, many, that you really don't like your kids. those days will pass, really, they will.

2. my husband is not the only one that says sexually suggestive things at the most inopportune moments. there are other husbands out there who tell the joke of the husband and wife who are in bed and the husband is trying to get something started. the wife says i have a gyno appointment tomorrow. the husband says, yeah, but you don't have a dental appointment (or a proctology appointment). mine is not the only one.

3. i am not the only puzzle nut in the world. there are others, like me, who do crossword puzzles but it's not about finishing them. i'm not the only one that rarely goes back to her puzzles and finishes them. i have one friend i trust enough to work crossword puzzles with; otherwise, paws off.

4. i'm not the only emotionally unstable person in the world. i've joked here quite often about thinking i'm bi-polar. i am not as extreme as my sister but i do think i have those tendencies. maybe it's just life. maybe everyone is like that and we're just searching for a label to place on it. i know that i can slip into a funk, a blue period (too bad i can't paint up a storm like picasso when i'm like this, but i digress), malaise for no real reason. it's like i'm in a fog. i'm not weepy sad but i'm not bursting with happiness. during these times i don't listen to music. i'm low. i'm non-committal, though feel like i should be committed. and then, like a rainbow after a storm (damn cheesy analogy i know) the mood blows away and life is warm and luscious again. at times like this i really do think, ok, yeah, my sister is fucked up, but, if i didn't have the hubs would i be any better than she is?

5. i have learned that i'm not the only one who finds raunchy, racy things funny. that other people enjoy using fuck, fucktastic and so many other words i wish i would have made up. and these aren't uneducated people. some are incredibly gifted writers and know just how and where to use the zinger. i lie and tell my kids not to cuss because when you do it shows your ignorance but it's more because it's not socially acceptable, especially not by kids. but really, sometimes craptastic IS the right word; sometimes fuck DOES sum it all up.

6. even the most mundane things can be interesting. i've started reading a blog written by a person who's goal is to declutter six things a day from her house. i'm fascinated and jealous.

7. though i'm not a mom of toddlers anymore, i can read those mom blogs and i get the flashbacks and can laugh at those moms and their trials.

8. i also realize that a lot of moms, stay at home moms, have A LOT of time on their hands. they blog more than i do. they shop and blog and post pictures and have flicker accounts and do crafts and raise 20 kids and guest post on other blogs. i think they must either be stepford wives or they are clones.

9. granted i rant some about the hubs and possibly divulge too much about our sex life but reading some blogs out there makes me think most women barely like their husbands let alone love them and they just have sex with them to have more babies. i'm not trying to judge but why the hell did they get married?

10. i have learned that despite his raunchy humor (which i actually love) and the fact that he can be a little OCD about some things and we have had more than our share of the i-hate-you-fights the hubs is probably one of the best husbands out there. god, this sounds like a suck up post because he reads this from time to time, but seriously, some husbands out there don't do jack shit and it blows my mind. of course i'm only reading the side of the story from the stay at home mom that has time to go shopping and blogging and yada yada yada and they bitch because the husband doesn't help (even though he does support the family). please if you're a sahm/soccer mom don't get your panties in a wad. i am sometimes jealous of you but not quite understanding the bitching.

the fall out

so we had our post conference wrap up meeting. i am still alive and not in tears, so that's two good things. i also realized before walking in there that had jesus himself joined us and walked on water and fed us all with a loaf of bread and a fish the queen of evil would have had something negative to say about it.

she and the big boss said the content wasn't as good as last year (hello--i had about half the time to put it together this year compared to last year and hello, last year we paid speakers and this year we didn't). the qofe then went on to say how we should have changed the format. i just nodded yes because i had said this at least once or twice before hand and was shot down, by her, because they know how to plan conferences and this is how it's done. basically i could have said the grass was green and she would say no it's blue. five minutes later she would say it's green, like she fucking created it and why was i so stupid that i didn't see it was green?

though i'm venting here i'm really not upset about it. she is a cunt, yes, i said it, she's an evil cunt and there's nothing that i will ever do to make her happy. the hubs made a comment this weekend that freaked me out cos he said i strive for her approval much like i always have with my dad. god there are about 20 shrink sessions wrapped up in that shit i can tell you now.

let's think other happy thoughts though. the hubs and i are really, really addicted to lost. he tries to act like it's all me, but it's not.

if you don't watch lost go now and buy the first season on dvd. i swear, if you like drama, you will love it. the hubs is hot for sun, the korean woman on the show. i like sayid and sawyer as far as hotties go. I tried to upload images of both for you but apparently they're too hot for blogger and melted the server ; ) aside from being eye candy, their characters are interesting. sawyer, god love his hoarding soul, manages to be the only one on the damn island to think about saving the books and is reading all the time. hello! plus he's all southern and has his vulnerabilities and has this tough guy exterior and acts like he doesn't give a fuck (hmmm, sounds sooooo familiar)--frankly the hubs does have better shoulders than sawyer though. as for sayid, he's all mr. i can fix build anything techno communications guy. he's strong and can be brutal but also has a sensitive side and secrets. i thought i'd be all about jack (charlie from party of five) but not so much. i like his character and i love kate and charlie characters too.

my other obsession, ok, one of the others cos it's pretty obvious i have a highly addictive nature, is john and kate plus 8. the boy is now also hooked on this show and EMAILED them this weekend. dear lord. he didn't mention he's an 8 year old boy so i'm sure they're reading that email like WFT???

in other news--the girl is on the outs with the boy i thought would turn into the boyfriend. dumb ass told her (she's 11 remember?) that she has small boobs. fucker. i think the hubs about had a coronary when i told him (the girl whispered this to me and didn't want the boy/hubs to know). there was some threat about burying him in the yard next to chloe (our beagle).