Friday, November 30, 2007

under the influence

ok, so i'm now kinda skeptical about this diagnosis for my arm. not only did i get a hellacious shot, and by that i mean i've had two epidurals, cortisone shots are worse, that i don't think has done shit, but this doc is really pill happy.

my previous scrip for the vickies were to take 1 or 2 at bedtime. this guy has me taking two in the morning and two at night AND a sleeping pill at night. really? holy shit. it's like, go to sleep snow white and when you wake up the pain will be gone. hmmm, not quite sure about this at all. so of course i'm not following those directions, who can function on 4 vickies and a sleeping pill a day. i have taken one vickie and one sleeping pill tonight. if you hear a loud bang it may be my head hitting the keyboard. hopefully if that happens i'll hit publish post first.

i suppose my celebration of healing (aka--the doc says it's ok to use the arm so i will not have bedroom restrictions) will start tomorrow. the hubs has driven like 1 million miles (slight exaggeration) in the last two days so when he got home he practically passed out. i'm on the drugs, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

so i'm becoming fascinated by the whole social network born on the Internet. in the 90s it was chatrooms on aol. wow--those were cool huh? are they still around? i have no idea. the company i worked for at the time was just getting into "online" magazines and we had chat rooms. i hosted a few and then of course i chatted online. it was fun, interesting but of course not real.

now there are blogs, myspace page, friendster, facebook, hell i don't even know what half of them are. you tube. my cousin, 13, has videos on you tube. my aunt knows, they aren't anything bad but her face is out there, she's on the internet. not sure how i feel about that. i know a few people who do the myspace thing, i don't understand it and don't really look at them.

blogs---wow, is this just a chick thing? there are a kabillion blogs out there, 90% are written by women and 50% of those are ones that just talk about their kids. not that there is anything wrong with that, i talk about mine cos they're brilliant, but they aren't my reason for blogging. but it is interesting how many people are reaching out to other people on the internet. i don't mean trolling for sex partners, i'm just talking about reaching out for contact, something, anything, someone to share with. i would totally love it if my friends had blogs. i'd be reading them every day. i love all of them but i'm fairly certain guinea pig would write a kick ass blog. she'd haul out her soap box and educate and inflame the masses. gp, i really am encouraging you to do this.

(just heard on comedy central---ex-girlfriend aka x-box. lol.)

christmas list

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? i like both but have never had "real" egg nog, w/ liquor. don't think i'd like that

2. Does Santa wrap the presents or just sit them under the tree? both

3. Colored or white lights? both but not blinking lights, i think that would send me into a seizure or feel like a disco. we've put up two trees lately, one in the den one in the living room, so i can have a white light and colored light tree. i like white lights outside, those icicle things? very cool.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? of course but it's plastic cos i don't want to kill the dogs and cats.

5. When do you put your decorations up? whenever the schedule allows. maybe this weekend.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? hmmm, i like pumpkin pie.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? making sugar cookies, listening to christmas music, plus i think i addressed this on a previous post.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? my mom and i remember this differently but my version is that i was in 3rd grade, my dad was in korea on an unaccompanied army tour, we were living at my grandparents house in wv. i was upstairs and overheard, through the heating vent, my mom talking about a barbie dream house i was getting for christmas from my grandma i think. christmas morning i got it, but they said it was from santa. so i asked her and she told me. i then started looking for my presents, usually finding them, and being upset on christmas cos i wasn't surprised. i finally learned to stop looking for them.

9.Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? we open gifts from family (extended) christmas eve and from just the four of us and santa christmas morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? first it involves me cussing as i put the damn lights on the tree, i hate that part. then the fun--ornaments. i have tons and just about each one has a story and memory. i love christmas ornaments. i have a generational tree--there's an ornament that used to hang on my grandparent's tree, some we made, hung on our tree growing up and then of course ours.

11. Snow: Love it or hate it? love everything about snow, the sound, smell, look, feel. we never get enough of it.

12. Can you ice skate? i have done this once in my life in college, as i remember i wasn't very good at it.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No, too many to choose from

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? my kids and getting excited when i know i've picked a special gift for a special person.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? pumpkin pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? see a previous post on this.

17. What is on top of your tree? an angel the hubs and i bought when we first got married on the main tree and a glass german looking one on the little tree.

18. Which do you like best giving or receiving? both actually (and not just for christmas! LOL)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? omg--i have so many. love the whole charlie brown CD, christmas in dixie by alabama, eddie arnold, andy williams, johnny cash all the ones we listened to growing up.

20. Do you like candy canes? yes, but the real ones not those newfangled ones they have that are different flavors. that's just wrong.

bring me back my golden arm

(first--i didn't know that movie, the man w/ the golden arm, was about a heroine addict.)

went to the orthopaedist and he poked around on my back, specifically my scapula (i think). he said it is not my rotator cuff like the other doctor thought, it is not my shoulder at all but the muscles/tendons that connect the scapula to the spinal cord. that area is the trigger point and all those little nerve hairs etc. that fan out trigger the pain in my arm.

so he poked some more (hard!) does this hurt, yikes, yes dammit, does this hurt, ouch! and then he gave me a big ass shot of cortisone that felt like it took 20 minutes to inject (it was probably only about 20 seconds). each dose of medication hurt like hell. i did not cry, though i was breathing heavy and clutching the table. my arm still hurts so i'm not sure it worked.

he gave me a scrip for sleeping pills (so i will sleep flat on my back all night long) and some more vickie. he also gave me a stretching exercise to do (and has referred me to a physical therapist). he said i should do this exercise 10 times a day and if i can do it in the shower all the better.

here's the exercise. the hubs and i stand face to face. i grasp his fingers and he pulls down and i lean down (10 degrees at a time) to stretch my back. you can see where this is going right?

anyway, i'm under no restrictions/limitations and he said most likely it's caused by working at the computer so much. he said the physical therapist can tell me how to change my work station to help this. of course he referred me to a pt that is not in my insurance network so i need to find another one.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

thursday night randomness

the hubs is out of town, it's 5 minutes to csi. the boy is running around in his underwear, the girl is farting like crazy (didn't think the medicine was supposed to do THAT), the dogs must have found something in the backyard because they want out then in then out then in and i'm surfing the web.

i just found this. if you like cats you'll like it--it's purring.

do you have commercials you hate? we all have ones we love--still love that 1,2,3,4 apple commercial, gotta get that cd. but there's one for another phone that drives me to the point that i want to beat the dad's head in. it's the one where the swarthy (i guess he's supposed to look sexy but he just pisses me off) dad gives his teenage daughter a phone and tells her, this is for you because you're my number 1; then he gives his goofy wife (she's wearing the most god-awful workout suit ever) one and says SHE'S his number one; THEN the bastard does the same thing to his teenage son and gives him one of those fake punches (those are so retarded anyway); THEN he practically skips out of his house, fleeing his freaky family as quickly as possible, and says and i saved the best for number 1 (himself) or something else equally retarded. so what i get out of that is the dad is a complete two-faced jerk who's so conceited and self-absorbed (his wife is working out because she's really fooling around w/ the young pool boy), the daughter also is screwing the young pool boy and the son is texting his posse to set up their next bong hit (not that there's anything wrong w/ bong hits) and the dad is off to see his mistress. i fucking hate that guy and that commercial.

ok, i also found this and it cracks me up, i don't know why.

i know this post is completely random and i haven't even been smoking--go figure!

(in the last 15 minutes i swear to god the special dog (keely) has been in and out 6 times)


so i'm talking to the hubs on the phone, he's just checked into his hotel for the night. he'll be home tomorrow. he's about 4 1/2 hours away.

his question is, why do they supply lotion in hotel rooms? i never thought about it, just thought it was a little nice thing. he of course immediately says--lube, that's why they have it there. that made me laugh.

i love hotel stuff. i have a basket full of it in my hall closet. lotions, soaps, etc. i don't know why i save it. mini-stuff is cool. we do have a thing at work where we collect it and donate it to local shelters, which i think is awesome.

non hump day

so this post a day thing ends tomorrow. i can't say it's been difficult for me cos i don't think i blog like other people blog. i use my blog more as a journal.

one thing about this community blogging thing is that it has opened my eyes to things i didn't know about. people are really serious about blogging. some people have more than one blog. i don't know how they do it really. of course there also are people who aren't even the least bit anonymous and even have pictures of their kids, names etc. out there (i got some grief over posting the boy's butt online--it's not like you can tell who he is--though i'll probably take it down cos y'all have made me feel wonky about it, like i'm some sort of freak : ) )

another thing is that i'm not as smart as i thought i was. maybe i should say intellectual (the power of knowing as distinguished from the power to feel and to will : the capacity for knowledge b: the capacity for rational or intelligent thought especially when highly developed). this is a hard pill to swallow because, as i've said before, i am prejudiced against stupid people. i know this is cruel and judgemental. it's not a prejudice against people who can't learn it's against people who won't learn. anyway, this post a day thing has exposed me to blogs i find interesting but at the same time boring because the discussions are so above me, if that makes sense. they are, to me, pretentious, but is that because i'm stupid and don't understand them? i don't know.

i've been insulated in my little part of the blog world and i think that was probably a good thing because i just wrote what i wanted. reading other blogs and discussions invariably filters into my writing i think. eh well, what to do?

a few updates for my regulars.
the girl's appointment went ok. x-rays showed that basically she's full of shit. she's constipated. the doc said he sees about a kid a day with this ailment. so she's taking a laxative for two weeks. they also will do an ultrasound to check out her kidneys and the calcium deposits just to make sure all of that is ok too. urine test came back fine so it's not the hypercalcemia. thank god.

the fil isn't so good. monday he's having a consult with the surgeon. they're going to do a triple by-pass. this they discovered when checking out the aneurysm. they can't even begin to do anything with the aneurysm though until the by-pass is done. the hubs quite possibly will be taking a road trip to ok.

the trip itself worries me--him driving 22 hours alone, stressed out, under these circumstances. but in general it worries the hell out of me because it's his dad and as much as he says he's not worrying and everything is ok i know that in his mind he's replaying everything he went through with his mom and her death. i have a hopeless sort of feeling, not knowing how to help him, comfort him.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

hump day

ok i started to write a post about humping but i'll refrain. no humping yet for me today though last night was pretty awesome. sorry for the tmi police but since the arm incident a month ago our activities have been limited. you don't realize how much your arm comes into play when you're having sex, well, at least i didn't. (humping is a gross word actually.) i'm hoping at my appt. on friday they'll say oh, you just need to take this pill or we need to give you this shot and the arm will be back to normal then i can spend the weekend catching up cos being in pain all the time sorta sucks the lust right out of you.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

the new dream

it all started about a week or so ago when the hubs called me at work and said we should move to boone and buy a christmas tree farm. he was on one of his over-night work trips and called to tell me how beautiful it was in the mountains and how much i'd love it. i thought it was sweet but didn't, at the time, actually give it much thought other than a passing fancy.

i've been thinking about it more and more though. i've spinned whole dream around it. we'd move to the mountains, buy a christmas tree farm, and have some actual farm animals. we'd have a pumpkin patch too. cows, sheep, horses to ride, and anything else that struck our fancy. the girl could have a few more cats (as long as they were barn cats) the boy could have a dog of his own. and a strawberry patch. and lots of huge sunflowers. we'd open it up for elementary school field trips. have a finished barn on the property that people could rent out for weddings and other special occasions. during the fall we could have corn mazes.

i'd write my purposeful novel, start my line of greeting cards (SAC=smart ass cards) and the hubs would open his own restaurant. we could write a cookbook together.

nothing extravagant, just natural, peaceful and liberating. how high could we soar without the tethers of the mind numbing suffocation of conventional jobs?

another meme

memes, quizzes, whatever, i can't get enough of these. i love reading other people's responses but i also love writing mine--how vain is that? ; )

The best thing you cooked last week?
i suck at cooking so i'd have to say the pineapple casserole i made for thanksgiving. not even my recipe but it seems pineapple, crackers, butter and cheese aren't bad together.

If money, time and babysitting were no object, where would you go and with who?
mmmm, i think the hubs and i would go to the beach for a weekend, even in the winter.

Five things you were doing ten years ago
wow--10 years ago we would be getting ready to celebrate the girl's first christmas (sniff sniff) and still dealing w/ all of her health issues
i think i was still working in the marketing department of a furniture company and hating it
we were still living in the trailer and hadn't yet realized how incredibly small it was
dreading turning 30
probably wondering how we were going to make ends meet (not that we don't have rough times now, but wow, 10 years ago was sad)

Five things on your to do list today
line up speakers
line up panelists
phone interview
pay for boy scout popcorn (frankly, it's a rip off that shit is expensive; girl scout cookies are much better)
pay bills
return my mom's call before her 8pm bedtime

Five favorite snacks
depends on my mental state : )
something on a cracker
chips and queso dip (sp?)

Five bad habits
smoking : (
i'm sure there are more just can't think of them right now

more to come.

cool quote

I want to rip off your logic, and make passionate sense to you. -Jeffrey McDaniel

i don't understand his poetry but loved the quote.

a little this and that

tuesday, yippee. i'm trying to drum up speakers and panelists (i hate this part of my job, have i said that enough??) and have to do an interview today. ah the joys of working.

so a few things going on.

the hubs is taking the girl to the doctor tomorrow afternoon. she's been having stomach aches off and on for what seems like forever. normally we might attribute this to her drama-queen-ness but in light of all the problems she had as a baby (hypercalcemia/calcium deposits in her kidneys) we want to get her checked out. her last ultrasound a year or so ago was fine, but you never know. just being proactive.

my orthopedic appt. is friday morning. the arm still hurts like a bitch off and on. i really don't think it will require surgery but a big ole' shot doesn't sound too fun either. whatever i want the pain to stop.

we're waiting on word about the FIL. they may do surgery because of the aneurysm, we should know something today. depending on when/if that happens the hubs might be making a 22 hour drive to ok.

a quick call to my bro last night fixed the computer glitch--what a wunderkind he is huh? : ) oh, he's also almost done installing hardwood floors in his house. how cool is that? between him and the hubs (our bathroom renovation of last year) i think they could quit their jobs and start flipping houses.

last night at dinner the talk turned (i have no idea how) to the lead in toys. the boy asked why they were grinding up pencils and putting them in toys. the girl then explained that they no longer make pencils with lead they use graphite. she then questioned why the chinese are trying to kill us with lead--is it because we bombed them? uh, no, the hubs said, that was japan. the boy said, well that wasn't very nice. (they are thinking this is something recent). the hubs tried to explain pearl harbor and who was on who's side, the girl threw in that switzerland is always neutral, yada yada yada.

sometimes i just sit back and listen to these conversations and am amazed. at the risk of sounding like a sappy mommy blogger my kids are pretty damn incredible. their minds inspire me and make me wonder how two people as crazy as the hubs and i could make such people.

don't get me wrong--this morning i was ready to give them both away. the boy was making his lunch for a field trip today and the girl was bossing him around. he'd poured soda into a thermos (and all over the kitchen floor) and she was telling him he couldn't take soda. he can't, but she's not his boss. that led to about 20 minutes of them bitching at each other and trying to get the last word. they're both wrong. she tries to boss him around and he loses his temper. then they both start calling names and it's down hill from there.

Monday, November 26, 2007

christmas moon

sunday night we made a gingerbread house. no, i'm not martha stewart, it was from a kit. shortly after this picture was taken one side of the roof started sliding off and a side of the house started caving in. less than 10 minutes after the last piece of candy was placed the kids were eating gingerbread. the house fell completely apart and is now in ready to eat bits and pieces. eh well, at least they had fun making it.

so this next picture might need explaining. have you ever wondered what might happen if you were lying in bed, drawing in your sketchbook with magic markers, left the lids off the magic markers, fell asleep in just your underwear and then rolled around in bed allnight with open markers? here's your answer. the boy comes up to us this evening and pulls his pants down, flashing a lovely green and red design. uh, mom, when i woke up this morning i was green. do you think this will come off?


i'm wading through my email (shut up yes i'm working not procrastinating) and trying to dig up speakers for this damn conference coming up in march. i hate conferences. i hate planning them. i don't know what the hell i'm doing.

anyhoo--i get quotes of the day and writer's almanac in my email and loved this poem--and yes, i'll tell you why. read it first.

"Words from the Front" by Ron Padgett, from How to Be Perfect.

We don't look as young
as we used to
except in dim light
especially in
the soft warmth of candlelight
when we say
in all sincerity
You're so cute
You're my cutie.
two old people
behaving like this.
It's enough
to make you happy.

this is what the hubs and i say to each other quite often. hey cutie or your so cute or something like that. it's part of our dialogue. you know someone loves you when they look at you first thing in the morning, sleep in your eyes, glasses askew, hair all over the place, breath that could kill a dragon and they say with all sincerity, you're cute.

random stuff

it's a gloomy monday (though i won't curse the rain cos we really need it) back at work after a four day respite. ho hum i feel like eeyore today.

a few things to catch up on. my FIL is in the hospital. the hubs got the call saturday morning. initially they thought it was pneumonia but turns out it's congestive heart failure. he's been diagnosed with this before, it's still in stage one. he also has an aneurysm. they're trying to figure out what to do about that. it's hard because he's in OK and we're in NC. they holidays already are difficult for the hubs since his mom died a couple of years ago. i know that now with his dad in the hospital all sorts of bad thoughts are running through his head. i feel hopeless as to what to do for him though.

the computer at home is fucked up. well, it works but the display is all screwy. i have no idea what's wrong with it. everything is pixelated and large, something about a visual driver. sometimes i really hate computers.

the boy pampered me saturday night. it was so sweet. the girl and i were sitting in the den watching a movie and he just came up and sat down beside me and started twirling my hair. (i'm a sucker for having my hair played with/brushed/etc.) anyway, he'd sit there for awhile and brush my hair (no easy task since it's so curly) then he'd trot off to the living room to watch his program. back and forth for about an hour. he brushed it until it was pretty straight. he likes it better straight, he's done this before. then he rubbed my back (ok, not like he can give a power massage at 8 yrs old, but it was nice), scratched my back, rubbed my feet and hands. brushed my hair some more. it was so sweet, so relaxing and so out of the blue.

the four days off were pretty good. i wasn't immersed too much in the extended family business and got to relax with the hubs and kids. i got a lot of lap time--cuddling with the kids. i love when they sit with me or on my lap. i soak all of that up that i can because i know before too long they won't do that anymore. the boy still occasionally comes and gets in bed with us, usually early in the morning either right before or right as my alarm is going off. he used to do this every night about an hour after we went to bed. now it's more like once every couple of weeks or so. the girl does this about once every 6-7 months but she never did it as frequently as the boy. even though they're 10 and 8 there is still something so precious and fulfilling about sleeping with them or holding them.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

stuff about me

ah, most of you know how i LOVE LOVE LOVE this things so you aren't surprised i'm posting it. i found it at the backsideofforty my new blog friend.

here goes:

1. WHERE WERE YOU 1 HOUR AGO? it was 10:30 am, i was i bed. first day of really sleeping in since i don't know when.

2. WHO WILL BE YOUR NEXT TO KISS? could be any of the three living here--the hubs (still asleep) the girl (watching national treasure) or the boy (playing w/ legos and watching something) [i have a separate post about him to come]

3. IS THERE ANYTHING PINK WITHIN 10 FEET OF YOU my big fuzzy slippers and my undies. i love pink.

4.LAST TIME AT THE MALL ? what is a mall? hmm, i think i might have gone to the bath & bodyworks in the mall once in the last 6 months. oh, possibly to build a bear too. i hate malls.


6. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT OF TOWN? ok, out of town could be camping last weekend--that was about an hour away. or out of town could be last work trip when i went to cologne in sept. take your pick.

7. HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE MOVIES IN THE LAST 5 DAYS? no, but w/in the last 8 days i took the kids to see the bee movie. it was ok, not spectacular. they weren't blown away by it either. i was reminded of bees importance in the whole eco-system. no bees, no pollination, eventually no us. big thoughts.

8. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK? drinking coffee right now.

9. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? pink stuff from above, grey t-shirt (pajamas) black lounge/pj bottoms.

10. HAVE YOU BEEN IN A CAR WASH? sure, they're pretty cool.

11. LAST THING YOU ATE ? bowl of cap'n crunch last night.

12. WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK ON SATURDAY? camping w/ the family and cub scouts. about now i think they were gem mining.

13. HAVE YOU BOUGHT ANY CLOTHING ITEMS IN THE LAST WEEK? yes, i bought the boy and girl (and even me) long sleeve shirts.

14. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU RAN? good lord, i have no idea. i wish i could enjoy running though. i looks liberating and peaceful when i see people doing it on the side of a road.

15. WHAT'S THE LAST SPORTING EVENT YOU WATCHED? uh, yeah, ok, i don't do sports stuff. i don't watch it (unless it's a kid i know playing) i don't attend them, etc. the boy has mentioned he'd like to do soccer next year so maybe we'll get into that.

16. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CLASS ? toss up between english and art, i loved them both and loved my teachers for both.

17. YOUR DREAM VACATION? i have a couple. the ultimate (the one that will NEVER happen) is to go to antarctica. more realistic but still out there--the hubs and i taking the kids to germany. more plausible or able to happen first--possibly disney next year and most likely the beach at some point.

18. LAST THREE PEOPLES HOUSE YOU WERE IN? hmmm, my mom's, my sister's (gag me, yes, i went to her house, that's where my cousin's baby shower was) and geez i guess the other would be my bro/sil's when we went trick or treating.

19. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PARENTS? they're 59 (a month apart). next year they'll be 60, my fave aunt will be 50, i will be 40 and my sister/friend donut will be 30.

20. DO YOU MISS ANYONE? of course. i miss my friends this week (sniff sniff). i miss my maw-maw and paw-paw and my friend julia.

21. LAST PLAY YOU SAW? was my first (and probably only) broadway play, gypsy. saw it during one of my ny work trips. bernadette peters played gypsy and steve martin was actually in the audience that night. awesome performance. i'd like to see more plays. the boy saw the wizard of oz last week and loved it.

22. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TODAY? don't know yet. most likely laundry (the never ending job i hate). possibly movie? don't know. hubs has just gotten up and we've not discussed yet.

23. EVER GO TO CAMP? in third grade i went to camp for 2 weeks (strange that i'd never think to let my kids go away for that long yet); i also was a girl scout camp counselor for a summer in college; have also been on campouts w/ both scouts.

24. WERE YOU AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT? hell yeah and look where it got me : ) i was the perfect student/child in high school. the hubs described me as "a parent's wet dream."

25. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FUTURE? that it's uncertain and always seems better than what's going on now and it's not guaranteed.

26. ARE YOU WEARING PERFUME OR COLOgNE? not now but i do wear one (don't really know the difference between them)

27. WHERE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND LOCATED? he's in the den w/ me now.

28. DO YOU HAVE A TAN? not really.


30. DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? quotes, books, penguins, probably other stuff i'm not aware of

31. LAST TIME YOU GOT STOPPED BY A COP OR PULLED OVER? hmmm, i got a speeding ticket when i was pregnant w/ the boy so 8 years ago.


33. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DRINKS? depends on what I'm drinking



36. WHO DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON? hmmmm drake on drake and josh, hugh jackman (just watched a movie w/ him in it last night), vincent d'onfrio, etc.

37. WHAT IS YOUR MOOD TODAY? it hasn't jelled yet, not sure. could go either way at this point.


39. ARE YOU RICH? uh, hell no.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

traditional foods

running around blog land i found a post about the yucky stuff people had for thanksgiving. have you ever stopped to think about the things that are traditional foods in your family?

i'm curious as to what are "the" foods everyone has to have a family get togethers like thanksgiving or christmas.

i've already mentioned the stuffing situation--hubs grew up on cornbread stuffing and i grew up on bread stuffing. it must be added that neither of these are cooked in the bird. my mom puts oysters in her stuffing too. i like them. however, this year she used boxed dressing and added oysters to it, uh, no, that's NOT the same thing. not good.

we also have watergate salad, which is not a salad, and should be considered a dessert but is not. it is pistachio pudding mix w/ cool whip, canned pineapple, marshmallows, nuts and cherries (or some variation of those ingredients).

we have broccoli casserole---broccoli, cream of shrume soup, cheese, mayo? not sure what goes in it but for the last several years my sister has made it instead of my mom and she doesn't make it right.

we have pumpkin pie--thanks to sarah lee (though mom used to make these homemade).

the sil has become the designated apple pie maker and i believe had the hubs been aware of this before hand he might have picked her over me. he loves that pie--and it's made w/ splenda, who knew?

the thing i don't like about not having thanksgiving at my house is that i have no leftovers. i could really go for a turkey sandwich and some punkin pie.

what are your traditional dishes?

Friday, November 23, 2007

presents for you

ok, not really presents but i'm cleaning out my email and ran across a few fun things. enjoy! if nothing else i hope you get a good laugh : )

from sweet t:
will it blend?--where they test random things in a blender--transformers, bics, etc. i could totally see the hubs and my bro doing this stuff. repeat--DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME.

from big t:
who to vote for?--i've never claimed to be politically inclined but i like this site because it gives all view points. good way to educate yourself about the issues and what you think about them.

how to be a good wife--ok, i've obviously NOT followed these directions. here's one of the rules. "Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. "

color me perfect--paint stuff and find out what it means about your personality.

the day after

thanksgiving went off without much of a hitch. everyone was pretty well behaved.

i got beat twice at scrabble, but at least i got to play. i have to give props to my bro who, knowing that scrabble's not his best game, gave it a whirl anyway. sorry bro, s'mores isn't a word : )

we went out shopping today--first time i've ever shopped the day after thanksgiving. we didn't get up at some crazy time to go out though and the crowds weren't too bad. of course we just stayed in our little neck of the world and didn't do the mall thing or anything like that. got some christmas shopping done and we got an air mattress on sale for next year's camping.

this evening the girl and i are going to a baby shower for my cousin who came down--the one who shouldn't have bred. i'm really not trying to be ugly but she and her husband would be lucky if they shared one whole brain between the two of them and though they're 26 or 27 they have the emotional capacity of a 16 year old. she asked if we were coming to wv in february when the baby was born. uh, no. yeah i'm happy for you and all but i'm not that close to you that i care to see your baby as soon as it pops out.

i know, i'm a cold hearted bitch.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

happy thanksgiving

happy thanksgiving

turkey with dressing, let's hope it's not dry

holiday shopping for some, but not i

ambers, yellows and browns--the colors of the leaves

nuts and pies and any veggies but peas

kids laughing and playing and asking for dessert

stuffed bellies, sleepy adults with food on their shirts

giving thanks for the things we overlook day to day

insisting on seconds when the pumpkin pie comes your way

vying for the comfy chair in hopes of a snooze

noticing thinks might have been better with some booze

grateful this time comes but once every year

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

the suck up

yes, this is about my bro. he and his fam went to my mom's today to bask in the glow of the family : ) he did say her house was clean so i guess that's a plus. i asked him what kind of grease they had for dinner. the running joke is that our mom always makes something grease-filled when we're all there for dinner. i understand making something with hamburger--it's cheaper and easier to feed a lot of people that way--i don't have a problem with that part of it. my issues are twofold though. first, she doesn't drain the hamburger after she browns it, not only that but she just dumps it, grease and all, into whatever she's making. second, she needs some new recipes. we either have tacos, spaghetti or taco slop (my sil's term) frito pie (my term)--basically it's a hamburger/cheese mixture that you dump on fritos. i think i'll look for a ground beef cookbook for her for christmas. would that be mean?

so today i got out of the office around 1:30 and came home and cleaned until the hubs came home at 4. we had a little grown up time then went and picked the kids up from daycare and went to the grocery store.

he's now baking mini-cakes to take to mom's thanksgiving extravaganza tomorrow. he's also making some pudding pie things and cornbread stuffing. i'm making a pineapple casserole and bringing this broccoli salad stuff i got at costco.

here is the run down of who'll be there tomorrow. us and my bro's family, my sister and her two kids, the folks and then mom's sibs.

she's the oldest. then comes S and her husband R. i like them. they're the ones the kids stayed with for a week this summer when daycare was closed unexpectedly. S & R used to be harley people before they had my cousin (he's in college and didn't come down). she's a teacher and he's a.....something to do w/ surveying.

next comes C and her husband R. they have always been my faves since i was very young. C is 10 years older than me and was always the aunt i wish was my mom. she is so very crafty and can paint circles around anyone. she also tends to go through bouts of depression. she had been a hair dresser all of her life until my uncle lost his job in the plastics factory and she had to find something else. they both went back to school and now she works in a medical office and he works in a plant that makes contact lenses. they've had a rough life but they are really very good people. however, once she got a 9-5 job it put the brakes on her involvement w/ my kids. there for a while the girl (her favorite grand niece cos i'm her favorite niece) would spend a week during the summer w/ her. not possible now. their daughter C (her twin bro and his wife couldn't come) came w/out her husband. she's pregnant. this is mean, but these are two people who didn't need to breed. hell, they shouldn't even have gotten married.

lastly we have MB, the aunt closest to my age, i think she's about 46 or so. she took me to my first concert when i was in third grade--peter frampton. she's pretty much the holier than though stuck up one of the bunch, though she has her nice moments. her hubs and son stayed home for work but her daughter came. i think she's about 13 or so. my girl is excited to be around her but i'm afraid she'll be sadly disappointed. 13 year olds rarely want to hang with 10 year olds.

ok, i guess that's the lineup. i'm sure i'll have more to say tomorrow : )

pre turkey day

updates--yes, whatever i have had turned into a full blown head cold w/ coughing. yeah me. the girl's rash is all but gone. i've loaded her up on as much benadryl as is legally permitted. i think it was the t-shirt that set off the rash.

last night the cub scouts toured the local police department. leave it to the boy to ask an inappropriate question, bless his heart. he asked the cops if it's true that they just eat donuts and drink coffee. the cop looked at the hubs then looked back at the boy and said he didn't like coffee. i can see it now, in 12 years when the boy starts driving he'll be marked for being pulled over at the drop of a hat.

so we have a short work day today--we get off at noon. i have to finish a story before i go, well, i'm telling myself i have to finish it (so what am i doing instead? posting!) after that i plan on running errands and trying to put some order back into my house.

all the aunts arrive at my moms today. the hubs said if i want to go over there to visit we can. part of me wants to but another part of me, the sick, pitiful whiny part, doesn't. plus, it's not like i won't see them the rest of the week.

some how days or time off never seem to actually be free time. why is that? i'd like a day (along with the money) to just go shopping. i know, i hate shopping but i could totally go hang out at bath & body works for an hour and then browse the book store, get some starbucks and maybe even try on some pants. i have no pants. how did that happen? i'm not prepared for winter.

last night when the hubs and i were talking between west wing episodes i got the idea for a story. what would have unfolded had we met later in life as opposed to when i was 15? it started because he said something like if we'd just met i probably wouldn't go out with him and it got me to thinking that if i just met him through mutual friends at a party how i would see him. i'd still go out with him. he thinks he's no longer the rebel bad boy, but he is. he's a smart ass, he's ireverent and those are just a few of the things that draw me to him.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


is that a whining sound? if so then that's me today.

i have an appt. on the 30th with an orthopedist (is that the right thing?) to find out more about the shoulder/arm appendage that i wish i could cut off. as much as i loathe taking the vickies i'm thinking i might need to call the doc to get a refill cos what i have left will not hold me over until the 30th appt.

i think i'm getting a cold or possibly what the girl has. her cough still lingers. i can't decide if it's allergies or a cold. my stupid insurance stopped covering my allegra d (how can they just do that??) so i'm taking regular allegra and some nasal spray that tastes like vomit. it's either allergies or sleeping outside in below 40 degree frost weather--take your pick.

the hubs was out of town again last night and is home (though it's scout night so he and the boy are at scouts) tonight. he's wiped out, also sounding like he's getting a cold AND when i picked the kids up from daycare i noticed the girl's face was red. she has some sort of rash----all over her body. wtf? by power of deduction i'm thinking her rash is either a t-shirt she got and wore at daycare yesterday or the new shirt she wore today. she's not allergic to any foods, hasn't eaten anything odd and i haven't changed any soaps, lotions, detergents. i gave her benadryl and made her take a bath then i slathered lotion all over her. (this also gave me a chance to nonchalantly observe her breasts. ok, if you aren't a mom this probably sounds weird, but my first born baby is getting boobs and i am so proud (like i made them myself) and it's such a milestone and everything looks perfectly normal.)

oh, and yeah me i'm not pregnant--not that i thought i was cos we took care of that when the boy was born--but i started today. talk about an overall crappy, suck ass day. i know i've said it before but why oh why if you aren't going to have any more babies, why can't you just stop having a period? aside from the usual crappiness (fyi, crappiness is not a word) of it all i also have at least one day of wanting to act like a baby and cry over every last thing and be taken care of and fawned over and pampered and coddled and i typically hate all of my clothes and change them several times each morning. i hate periods.

waaaaaa. i just want to curl up on the couch with the hubs, watch west wing, eat some hot fudge on something chocolate and be petted. do you ever get that feeling? waaaaa

i like turkey

these are things i like about thanksgiving.


my mom's stuffing (it's yankee stuffing as the hubs calls it, but i like it; it's bread stuffing; he grew up on cornbread stuffing, which i also like, but love the bread stuffing)

homemade cranberry sauce, yes, i can make this. i love the color, smell, idea of it more than i actually like to eat it.

pumpkin pie--love love love pumpkin.

broccoli casserole--it's cheese and broccoli. although once growing up i ate way too much of it one year and then couldn't eat it for like 10 years.

sweet potatoes--love em, so yammy (sorry couldn't resist)

total non sequitors:
knowing looks are so cool. you know what i'm talking about, those looks you share with someone when you're in a group of people or just even one other person and the person you're sharing the look with totally knows what you're thinking at the moment. the hubs and i do this all the time (and no, it's not always about sex folks). i also do this with friends of mine. i also think it's interesting when you catch other people sharing a knowing look. you wonder what they're thinking, how they are connected (at least i do).

ok, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

what are your favorite thanksgiving treats?

Monday, November 19, 2007


i stole this from a blog i now read daily.

1) What is the secret to aging contentedly?
i'm still working on this one. this year (39) does not bother me except for the fact that my body is starting to show/feel age. and i am developing facial hair. i'm not a generally hairy person, have only had my eyebrows waxed twice in my life and never plan to do it again because it hurts like hell, but if i'm not careful i could grow a beard in the next five years. contentedly--i guess i've come to terms that i will never be a size 10 and that's ok.

2) If you had to give up your computer and your TV at home, what would you do for entertainment?
i would certainly read more; crochet; probably journal and write a book, though man that would be a bitch to do longhand; crosswords; maybe finish the scrapbook i started about 5 years ago.

3) Name the most embarrassing moment of your life?
sheesh, just one? i don't really remember ever being completely mortified. there have been lots of times i was embarrassed though. the time the boy (who was under a year old i think) shit all over me and him in the line at the evil empire was pretty embarrassing.

holiday traditions

(sorry hubs--i know you said to rest but i have these thoughts to get out before i do)

what are your holiday traditions? please share.

here are some of ours:

now (w/ hubs and kids)
we make a decorate sugar cookies; we hide a pickle ornament in the tree (it's a german thing where you hang a pickle ornament in the tree on christmas eve and the one that finds it christmas morning gets an extra little present); when the kids were toddlers we started buying advent calendars for them (another german thing) and we've also started doing it for the niece and nephews; the kids usually get to open two presents from us on christmas eve--pajamas and a book; we've had a christmas party for i think about four years now, nope actually i think it's five? really? wow. (please confirm for those of you who've been to all of them); we watch the bass & rankin classics; we go to tanglewood to see the lights (well, not every single year but most); the kids and i often make something (ornaments); we share the memories and stories that belong to each of our special ornaments.

then (when i was a kid)
my dad painted our windows w/ holiday scenes; we decorated cookies; we listened to christmas music (most of which i still love and play thanks to some cds my brother made of my parent's records a few years ago); we watched bass & rankin classics; my mom made russian tea cookies and we'd make fudge and potato candy.

running from the blues

i'm trying my best not to get depressed about the holidays. since my mil died a few years ago the holidays have been pretty hard on the hubs. he really tries to hide it and to not get down, but he does and that's ok.

i think that holidays are not only incredibly built up to be these incredible times of familial warmth and happiness but they are so fucking commercialized it makes me sick.

lots of my friends have dysfunctional families so i know the holidays are not like the waltons for everyone. and i am not saying that every single day of my childhood sucked balls and each and every holiday sucked. that isn't true. maybe that's what i should do, think of happy holiday memories. (ok, i'll do this quickly cos i just talked to the hubs--out of town again--and he said to get some rest---my arm has been hurting like a bitch today and i think i'm getting a cold)

ok, ahem....good holiday--let's be specific, christmas--memories.

i don't really know if this is a memory or something i recall because of a picture i've seen, but, the first time we were in germany (i started kindergarten there and my bro was born there) there is this picture of my dad and i building a snowman. my mom took it out of our third floor window. i remember the coat he was wearing, brown suede with lambs' wool trim. we had a lot of snow in germany; i love snow.

i remember one year--i think i was in middle school--we went home to wv for christmas. we all (it was just me, my bro, dad and mom) at that point, got matching red and white toboggans for some reason. anyway oddly enough that year i saved up my money to buy everyone a present. i'm talking aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc. granted the presents we like a plastic tea pitcher for my aunt/uncle, coffee mugs (you know the ones on the hanging tree thing?) for the grandparents, etc. i was pretty proud of myself for that : )

there aren't a lot of specific holiday memories. i mean not like i can say the year i was in fifth grade christmas was like this. i remember we weren't always home for christmas. many years it was just us kids and our parents. that was the norm. maybe that's another reason holidays are built up in my head. we were rarely around our grandparents/extended family so we built it up in our minds to be something much better than what we had. it was a treat to be home for christmas.

getting too deep in here.

ah the guilt

yes, guinea pig (see comments on impending doom) there is so much guilt associated with the holidays.

it is much like my sil says. we go a month or so without hearing from my mom and then she likes to make believe we're this one big close happy family for her sisters. i do feel guilty because i don't really like my parents and don't really want to spend the holidays with them.

i keep thinking there's something in me that should forgive them for being the parents they are and that if i were a better person i would just accept them, but i can't.

sometimes i feel like the hubs and wish we could just invite people we like to our house for thanksgiving. the only family that would involve would be the bro/sil/nephew. i don't just say this because she reads the blog, but really and truly they are the only part of my family that i truly enjoy being around and i miss it when i don't see them.

i don't know how to escape the guilt. sometimes i wish i were strong enough to say, you know what, this is how i want my holiday to be this year and i'm sorry but it doesn't include you. you do not add joy to my life, it does not make me happy to be around you and i am so very very tired of the phoniness that oozes from you during the holidays. don't spend money you don't have buying my kids toys they don't need because that does not make up for the fact that you otherwise suck as a grandparent.

i think this is probably another reason halloween is my favorite holiday, fewer expectations.

impending doom

most people this week are excited about thanksgiving. they're either going to visit their families or their families are coming to visit them.

i am anxious--characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency. my mother has invited her sisters. she is the oldest of five kids. her three sisters and parts of their families will be here this week.

don't get me wrong, i like my aunts and most of my uncles. i don't interact with them much, but i do like them. i don't, however, like when my mom has the brood together because she tries to act like she's this wonderful mother/grandmother that we all know she's not.

my brother thinks that once the aunts get down here and see what a wreck things are at my folks' house they're going to start harping on us (me and him) that we should be taking better care of our parents. no doubt my sister will be there 24/7 and they'll talk about how wonderful she is, despite the fact that she's the fucked up one of the three of us.

frankly i'll be surprised if anything is said directly to my bro or i about this. there might be some remarks about how helpful our sister is (this has happened before) however. at this point i don't really know what i'd say or if i'd retaliate.

recently when my sister called to tell us mom was having another of her episodes she mentioned that part of it was because of my dad's drinking. really? because it's not like he just started drinking. my parents are 59, have been married 40 years and he's been drinking at least for 34 that i remember. i don't mean to sound callus, but if his drinking didn't bother her enough when she had three kids at home living with it then suck it up. if it wasn't important to get out of that environment when you had kids at home and were totally aware of what it was doing to them then i have no sympathy for her not liking his drinking now.

i'm not one of those people that say, oh, the fuck ups i've done in life are because of how i grew up, but i do think that when it comes to drinking my siblings and i are more susceptible to it. there have been times in my life that i've had issues w/ alcohol. not that i drank every day, but when i do drink i don't know when to stop. i think i'm getting better about it though. there also have been times in my life when the hubs' drinking bothered me. like i didn't want him to come home and have a beer or a drink, i thought he'd slip down the slope my dad did. the hubs doesn't drink much at all really (usually just when we have a party) and occasionally he'll drink beer, like MAYBE once every other month? if that? i think it would totally freak me out if he came home and drank every day. to this day the smell of jim beam makes me ill (my dad's drink). wow--don't know why i got off on the alcohol tangent.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

we came, we saw, we camped and it was good

this was a great place to camp. the only drawback i can see to the part of the park we camped in has no showers and the bathrooms weren't as close to the camp site as i like. for one day it was fine, for a weekend or longer, not so fine.

we got there yesterday morning and set up our tent. it's in three sections--the main tent and then a mini one on either side for each kid. pretty cool in theory. the main part isn't as big as we thought it would be, we could sort of stand up in it.

we had free time until lunch, a couple of hours. we went gem mining. THAT was really cool. you buy a bucket of sand and actually sift through it over the water sluice, like the miners used to do. the kids really got off on that and found a few gems. fool's gold, quartz, etc. nothing earth shattering but it was fun none-the less.

after lunch we heard a talk from one of the park people about animals and got to see/touch a corn snake (actually felt pretty silky), lizard, frog, chinchilla (very soft) and a ferret. then we toured their animal park. i had no idea all of this was so close to home. the animals there are wild rescue animals. they were either hit by cars, found injured in the wild, etc. they have red wolves there and i had no idea how close to extinction red wolves were. we were actually 14 red wolves away from having none--in the whole world! so there is a couple and a few of their babies here at this park.

after the animal park tour we rode the little train around the park. there's also a carousel (didn't have time for that or the putt putt golf) and in the warmer months a water park. overall it's a great family fun place.

cub scouts do not eat as well camping as girl scouts do. lunch was at noon and dinner was at 6:30 and there was nothing for the kids in between. kids, outside, being active, cold, etc. no bottled water, (we brought our own), no snacks, etc. poor planning in my opinion.

there was coffee, thank god, it was warm. so around dinner time i took a vicky cos i was starting to hurt pretty bad. then i proceeded to drink a lot of coffee the rest of the evening to keep warm.

we went to bed around 9. first we discovered the zipper on the hubs sleeping bag was broken. then we discovered we'd set the tent up on a root. about an hour after we went to sleep the girl joined us in the center tent. she was freezing and coughing. about an hour after that the boy joined us in the center tent. he'd taken his socks off; he was freezing. we all were dressed in layers. i had on three shirts and two pair of socks and was wearing a pair of gloves.

it was not comfortable, but once we were all in the center tent i think it was warmer. there were times during the night that i snuggled deep in my sleeping bag and slept. other times the coffee was battling with vicky so my brain was whirling around. i could have written some killer blogs last night i'm sure.

waking up this morning was probably the worst. coming out of the sleeping bag you were immediately aware that it was freezing ass cold. things were damp, we could see our breath. there was frost on the tents and the ground.

so we ate breakfast and packed up and came home. we got home around noon. the hubs and i took a nap until about 3.

i think, despite the hellacious wake up this morning, it was a good trip and we all had fun. i'd go back there again. this was our first camping trip altogether and it was nice. i want to do more of this next year but not, i say not, in november.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

a camping we will go...

it is very nearly the middle of november. today the high will be 60 here in our little patch of north carolina and the low tonight will be 36. why am i giving the weather report? because by the time most of you read this (if you read daily) we will be on our way to a cub scout camping trip. yeah us : )

it's just for one night, we come home sunday. 36 isn't really that cold right? we'll be sleeping in our tent (the one we got for christmas last year and haven't used yet) in sleeping bags on the ground. i'm packing lots of socks and layers of shirts : ) and blankets. we'll be ok. 36 isn't really cold right? ; )

the boy went to see the play of the wizard of oz tonight w/ a school friend's family. my 8 year old at the theater. how cool is that? he said it was pretty good. of course he got home around 11:30 which is incredibly late for him to be out.

while he was doing his thing the hubs, the girl and i went to dinner and target to pick up last minute things for the trip. as we're parking the girl asks if people who are mentally handicapped get to use the handicapped spaces too. smart question for 11 i'd say. the hubs said he didn't think so but it seems like it's pretty easy for just about anyone to get a handicapped permit. he said even he could get one. the girl (god love her brain) said, why because of your age? i laughed out loud. yep, 42 qualifies you for a handicapped permit! ah, priceless.

i'm totally digging this blog i found through this blog-o-day thing. i think the thing that impresses me most is her basic honesty and willingness to say this is my life.

i mentioned before that my cousin had been on my mind thanks to hearing wrapper's delight right? well, when my kids we in wv this summer they went to a reunion and she was there. i ended up getting her email address and we've recently exchanged a few emails.

(pull up a chair this could be a long blog--i need it to hold you over until sunday when i return from frozen camping)

my cuz is about a year or two younger than me i think (i can't believe i can't remember how old she is right now) but her bday is march 31, i do remember that. anyway, she's really my second cousin (or whatever you are if your grandmother's are sisters and mom's are first cousins) but she is the one closest to my age. after her the next group of cousins are my brother's age. anyway, whenever we were in wv she and i were fast friends. i was always fascinated by her. she was an only child (adopted), skinny, outgoing, active, etc. pretty much the exact opposite from me in just about every way. i envied her a lot.

i didn't live around her in high school and when i moved back to wv to go to college it was around my junior year i think that we ran into each other on campus and started hanging out together again. actually, i had friends who had an apartment in this old house and she and her roommates had the downstairs apartment. i have always thought she was incredibly beautiful. when we were in college i remember she was desperate to find her birth mother. i don't think she ever did. the thing i think that bothered her the most is that she's obviously not caucasian but it's not obvious what she is. she told me that when people asked her what she was she'd just started telling them hawaiian. i always loved that answer. she could have been perhaps.

ok peeps--behave while i'm gone; don't do anything i wouldn't do; put everything back where you got it and turn the light off when you leave.

Friday, November 16, 2007

rotator cuff

rotary cup, rotator cup/cuff--whatever that's what the mri showed. i have an inflammation in that area. they're scheduling an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. i'm skeptical about this seeing as how i'm not typically a highly physical person and do not recall doing anything to injure myself.

we'll see.

five for friday #3

current movies and my thoughts

beowulf--is this animated or not? i have no desire to see it. we had to read it in 11th grade english, i was not amused. we also had to read stuff in old english and recite it. we read the canterbury tales in old english too. a guy named richard in my class was like an idiot savante w/ languages and he read it perfectly. the teacher loved it. we were all jealous. yes, i was a geek.

the mist (stephen king)--i've read the short story. despite the fact that it's stephen king i don't want to see it. most of his movies, aside from shawshank, misery and stand by me and the shining, i've hated. it all works better in my head than on film anyway.

mr. magorium's wonder emporium--it's dustin hoffman, it's toys, it's fun to say. i want to see it.

fred claus--i dig christmas movies (the santa clause, elf, etc. and this looks like it's right up that alley) plus vince is hot.

august rush--this looks like something i cry over and i want to see it : )

a victory for journalism

today i had an unexpected, unsolicited victory for journalism that actually made me like my job for a change.

it was unintentional, making it all the more sweet.

long story short there was an advertiser that practically demanded i remove a story from our web site because it was negative (though factual). i tried to work w/ him, encouraged him to give me the "correct" information (his side of the story) etc. and no, he just wanted it down.

he spoke to my publisher (sorry big t, i know you're friends) who also thought i should take it down. it was not an antagonistic situation between she and i, i just didn't agree. she talked to the big boss and he sided w/ her. i talked to my boss and expressed my frustration over the principle of the thing (he talked a big game and made me feel better but in the end he did nothing). today i talked to the big boss, not to persuade him, because honestly i would have no reason on earth to think i could, but i couldn't not tell him i disagreed and thought it was leading us down a slippery slope and would compromise our integrity. i must have been persuasive. that and i don't think the big boss thought it was that big of a deal one way or the other.

so journalism won out over advertising today and i feel all the better for it.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

blogging for me

(first, for all the mother hens in the bunch, yes i called the doc to see if she had results from my mri, no i haven't heard back from her yet).

as i've mentioned i've been reading other blogs because of the post a day thing. i even started a group on the nablopomo site for first timers, bloggers w/ blog envy. so today a woman posted on there and naturally i went to her blog to read. she had a post about blogging and how people do different things to get their blogs out there and basically how it's like a high school clique--not her exact words but i'm paraphrasing. that got me to thinking and it's true.

when i started this blog it was for me only. then i got lonely and wanted readers so i told my trusted friends. then i thought, wow, i'm sooooo cool other people should read my rapier wit (shut up, it's my blog). i wanted comments, longed for them (and i still love all of you who do comment) but i think it really is time i got back to writing this for me. i don't need to "connect" w/ other bloggers online, i have great friends already. i don't have to have fancy widgets and bells and whistles on my blog. i don't have to be known in the blog world. i'm fine just where i am. thanks to an unnamed blogger for helping me see the light.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

puddin time

puddin is a girl : ) yes, my baby brother (uh, he's 33 and almost, if not 6 ft tall) and my sil are having a girl. I AM SO EXCITED! i can't wait. omg this is going to be awesome!!! when they told my nephew, who's six, they were having a girl he said, girls freak me out. lol. priceless. wow. ok, i'm just so excited. i know my sil was hoping to be able to use some of her stuff from the nephew, but wow, we get to shop for girl baby stuff now!

i had my mri today. no results yet. my arm is really hurting like a muther fucker most of the day now. typing isn't as pleasurable. frankly, it's hard to concentrate on much of anything for any length of time. i'm a wuss i know. i don't handle pain well. i've had two c-sections and my gall bladder removed yet still, i suck at handling pain.

the mri was not something i'd like to do again anytime soon. i was in the tube up to my waist for what seemed like hours; it was 15 mins. they give you a button to push if you need to get out. i was five minutes away from pushing it when they brought me out. when they were putting me in the guy said close your eyes. good thing. i opened them twice while i was in there and nearly sent myself into a panic attack. the top of the tube is maybe 2 inches away from your face. i started feeling like i couldn't breathe, though i kept telling myself i could. people say the noises bother them, it's quite loud, but they proved a distraction for me. i concentrated on them instead of the fact that i felt like i was buried alive. one of the noises sounded like a heartbeat, another sounded like crickets. ok, arm hurting now. going to feed the children and take some vicki.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

bring in the gimp

i'm going to have an mri tomorrow to find out what the hell is wrong with my arm. of course the morbid side of my brain assumes the worst. permanent, un-fixable nerve damage. they'll have to amputate or i'll just have a lifeless limb hanging on. i'm sure it's nothing.

i've been visiting other blogs and leaving comments thanks to this post a day thing.

i made swedish meatballs for dinner tonight--they weren't half bad actually. the boy didn't like them, but then my kids are extremely picky.

the hubs and the boy are at scouts, the girl and i are vegging out. we've both been in our pjs all day : )

the sil finds out what puddin is tomorrow around 3:30. i told my bro i better get a call by about 4 or i'll be pissed : )

the boy has been invited to go see the wizard of oz play w/ a friend friday night. i think he'll have a good time. i'd like to go myself.

saturday we go camping w/ the boy scouts. i'm looking forward to it but think it's going to be cold as hell at night.

two things---the poll is done. looks like some people are interested in what the ex is up to, some aren't. i'm putting up a new one now. the hubs and i have been discussing the girl and her growing up and blah blah blah and i'm wondering about makeup--so this post is for girls, uh, unless you're a guy who likes to wear makeup and that's perfectly fine too.

second thing--looking around blogs i found this widget thing that analyzes your blog for it's content. so at least i'm sort of on a college level. yeah, right.

in sickness and health

i'm home with the girl today. she wasn't feeling well at bedtime last night and woke up feeling worse. i'm hoping it's not strep or anything, which i hear is going around. no fever, no blisters, just sore throat and cough. we'll see.

i've left a message for the doctor. my arm is not better. i don't know whether it's because i'm home today or what but it actually seems to be hurting worse today than yesterday. frankly i'm getting sort of worried about it. i've never really had anything that didn't go away.

Monday, November 12, 2007


this post a day thing isn't hard for me, lord knows i have so much crap in my head to get out it will never end. however, it has given me some things to think about.

i've been reading a few people's blogs. i get blog envy because they look much better than mine, very graphic and pretty and neat bells and whistles. there are a few i've read that the writing simply blows me away. it is incredible.

the thing that amazes me the most though is how many people are out there using their real names, posting their pictures, pictures of their kids, etc. i'm shocked. i don't know why but i am.

i blog to release things i wouldn't really say in person to someone, although i know most of the people who read this. i hide behind my blog i suppose.

clothes horse...

i am not. today i brought out the fall/winter clothes and put the others away. looking at your clothes season to season is pretty interesting, at least i think so. last year when i put the winter clothes away i think i finally threw out some clothes that should have gone away years ago. i missed seeing them this year--the black and white faux hounds tooth pull-on pants that i wore so often. gone. i did bring out my tried and true black cords that i've worn for about 10 years. i wore them once this season already, they're going to goodwill. they look incredibly hideous on me and no one ever told me. pants are hard for me to wear. they're either too big or too tight and it's hard to find a pair that's just right. this leaves skirts. ok, i can do skirts but in the winter they're a bitch. tights are almost too much and that leaves socks/trouser socks w/ long skirts. then what about shoes? i hate fucking clothes.

i took the kids shopping for their winter coats and a few other things then we came home and made cookies and played uno.

i also did an ass-load of laundry. i hate laundry because it never ever ends. it's not like you get a day that something doesn't get dirty. it drives me crazy. also, i have a family that could give a shit less about the laundry. take something out of the closet or drawer, put it on, don't like it, throw it on the flow so then it automatically ends up in the dirty clothes. i just washed the boys swim trunks and i know for a fact he hasn't worn them in two months.

how old do kids have to be to start washing their own clothes?

make a memory day

despite the fact that i could easily use this day to get caught up (just about every one of my drawers and closets has taken on an evil life of its own) and have just recently checked out four books from the library i haven't yet opened and the list goes on, i really really need/want/insist on doing something with my kids today.

sometimes i feel like all they're going to remember of their childhood is me working/traveling and us cleaning house or going to the grocery store on the weekends. that sucks balls.

so, i'm going to pay bills and then we're doing something! wish me luck.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

lazy sunday

actually, the whole weekend has been pretty lazy. we did go to costco yesterday and as usual i spent way too much money. though i justify it by saying it's bulk, so it will last longer right? yes, right.

since vicki has started ruling my evenings i thwarted her yesterday afternoon : )

actually, last night it didn't feel as bad and i just took one. today the arm feels some better, but i'm still unsure of it.

the hubs made yummy belgian waffles today and now we're running out to lowes. lazy weekends are pretty good. next weekend we're going camping w/ the boy's boyscout pack. it's going to be pretty cold i'm sure, but actually i'm looking forward to it and think it will be fun.

tomorrow i'm off w/ the kids. no big plans yet but i hope we can do something fun.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

max and vicki

when i pulled in the driveway last night the garage door was open and the family was outside. i knew we had to rush to get to the school honors night, but i did think we still had a bit of time.

however, it wasn't me they were waiting on. when they got home there was a dog in our driveway. an all black bull/pug looking dog. the boy apparently immediately named him max. they fed max. three bowls of food. they petted max. (max really is cute.) when we went in the house max tried to wheedle his big head in the door. princess meow meow's tale grew 10 times it's normal size.

when we left for the school event, max jumped in the car. i think he must be interested in education. after a bit of cajoling we got him out of the car.

off to school where my bright shining stars got recognized for being on the honor roll for the first quarter of the year. a great accomplishment (they do it most all the time).

home. thankfully?, yes, thankfully max wasn't waiting for us. he was just roaming the neighborhood and found his way back home. the boy was a bit upset. max was really cute.

vicki, vicki, vicki. so i'm getting worried about my arm. big (mothering) t harped on me (as did the hubs) to call the doc about my x-rays since i had them tues. i called yesterday. everything is ok. hmm, well if everything is fucking ok why does my arm feel the way it does? if it's not better next week they want to do an mri. during the day it is uncomfortable. when i get home in the evening it starts getting worse. last night i tried holding out on taking vicki, cos ya know there are things i really really really wanted to do. i broke down and took two of those vicki bitches. it felt better after awhile but it wasn't really the evening ending i was looking forward to.

is it still called pouting if you're directing it at yourself?

Friday, November 9, 2007

five for friday #2

five good things

1. opus--i discovered bloom county in high school and became instantly smitten. i have all the books i think. i have stuffed opus' in the attic. i began loving penguins because of this. i think a bit of my sense of humor also was influenced by this. also, the summer i was a girl scout camp counselor in the blistering heat of texas, opus was my camp name : )

2. Rapper's Delight from the Sugarhill Gang--my first exposure to rap, i was about 11 i think. my cousin got the album and we listened to it over and over again.

3. edamame--good tasting and good for you. i'm having some for breakfast right now.

4. my super smart, funny kids who are being honored for their good grades etc. at school tonight (not just them but still).

5. flannel sheets

Thursday, November 8, 2007

sweet mother of pearl

don't worry this isn't a post about sweet mothers or pearls, i just like saying it. i told another friend about my blog today and low and behold she's already joined the comment train : )

spanx is a co-worker and someone i've found i've connected with quite nicely. it's so weird because every once in awhile i'll debate about telling someone about my dirty little blog secret and then rarely do. this morning i thought about telling spanx about it and then, totally out of the blue, she struck up a bra conversation (i'd already written the bra post) and i took that as a sign.

following up on the bra thing. i went out at lunch and tried some on. stupid, stupid move. though my arm wasn't feeling any differently, after trying on about 10 bras it started throbbing. i'm thinking amputation might be in order. so the arm is still not feeling great, i'm sure typing doesn't help, but i did find two bras. a pink one and a blue one.

non sequitor: sometimes i look around me at the great friends i have and it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. though i have both male and female friends, this particular thought is directed at the women. the girl friends i have that i'm especially attached to all have two things in common--they're incredibly smart and they have uncanny senses of humor, though different among them. i don't know if everyone does this, and i certainly didn't consciously do it, but each of my friends is like an extension of a part of my personality in one way or another. very interesting to think about. i don't think guys bond with other guys like girls do. they seriously don't know what they're missing out on. i love my friends!