Wednesday, July 30, 2008

he waved at me

hello my peeps : )

ok, this is just a quicky cos it is about 10pm vegas time and i have to prepare for my 8:30 am presentation tomorrow and i'm a nervous wreck over it. i HATE public speaking crap with a passion and am firmly convinced i'll be speaking to maybe 5 people cos 8:30 is too early to do anything in vegas.

anyway--i'm sure you are all dying to hear about my rod experience. i have lots and lots to share and will no doubt blog incessetantly about this when i have more than five minutes, but the down and dirty is that i got a vip pass, i was on the SECOND fucking row and i took an assload of pictures and video. yes my loves, i will post pictures when i get back home. he. was. totally. awesome. before it started i almost got the chance for a meet n greet with him, y'all know i would have passed out or at least peed my pants if that happened right? we did get to go back stage and i was like 6 feet away from him and then his people said that was it, i was like 5 people away from getting my picture taken w/ him. he was lovely. but the even better part is that during the concert he made eye contact and waved at me. i shit you not. not like he was just randomly looking in the crowd and waved, but he looked at ME! perhaps because i was one of the youngest ones that far up front and was singing along to every song : ) it was a great performance and i will write more details and pics later. or perhaps it's the new glasses that drew his eye. lol : )

vegas is hot. 105 degrees hot. yes it's a dry heat but so is a damn oven.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

saturday, in the park

well, no not really but last night i downloaded a buttload of music to put on the mp3 for my trip tomorrow. i'd totally forgotten to add any phil collins, chicago, don henley, van morrison or i'll melt w/ you. duh. i think i probably need another mp3 player cos mine holds about 500 songs. i have added many of your suggestions, though broad--i couldn't get too far into the grunge thing. i did put lump on there : ) i didn't intend to fill that thing up with all the songs i've loved (and probably have on cd somewhere) since the 5th grade, but it seems i've done so. eh, i can always change it. i also have etta james, nina simone and hall & oates on there : )

i'm also digging my google reader. i still poke around random blogs from time to time, but reader really lets me keep up w/ the people i want to read every day. i'm beginning to think there's something wrong in the universe or maybe it's just that whole theory (i can't think of the name of it now) that we're all some how connected by these invisible (to most people) threads. i am not the only one in a funk. i did get some relief by starting my period. this is gross but it was like popping a pimple. i think the thing that pisses me off the most about my situation is that technically it's in my control to fix. i could hypothetically quit my job. i think if i had a different job things would be different. but then two years ago i felt like that, got another job (this one) and look where i am now right?

the hubs and i are fine. well, like in the big picture point of view we're fine. he's in a rut too though. two people in a rut and not necessarily the same rut. imagine wagon wheel tracks. we're little tiny, each walking in our own track, trying to reach across the rut in the road. we're going in the same direction, we can hear each other talking, but we're each in our own hole. god, that sounds even worse than it is.

the hubs says we need outlets. i'm trying to think what my outlet should be or is. in a perfect world it would be exercise. isn't that what people to do relieve stress? yeah, i'll wait while you quit laughing. it's not like i don't DO stuff. it's just that sometimes i don't know how to turn my brain off from all the bad crap. i compose emails in my sleep; think about things i should do or should have done for work; wonder why after all these changes my boss hasn't asked me once how things are going...etc.

i leave tomorrow for las vegas for work. calm down, it's not as exciting as it seems. initially when i started w/ this company 6-7 yrs ago the first year i thought the trips were cool. after that it's like, holy shit, i have to go out of town again? outsiders looking in think it's glamorous. my mom still can't believe that i travel, sometimes by myself, and rent cars and drive in OTHER CITIES. it's working pretty much 12 hour days, mostly on your feet and ALWAYS having to be on--smiling, engaged, knowledgeable, etc. yes, yes, i do get to see rod stewart monday night. that is in two days. i don't know that i'll actually get a picture of him, apparently his "handlers" are not being so accomodating to the press. hmph.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

there's a light....

...over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

i'll give you a high five if you get THAT movie/music reference

but on a lighter note, check this out.

my friend sweet t sent me this link where you can vote for a lighthouse to be restored. i think this is a cool thing.


menagerie of thoughts

that's a tad bit misleading cos there certainly isn't anything exotic or unusual about these random thoughts.

what's the etiquette on wedding presents for someone getting married at the justice of the peace? at first my sister thought it would be a smashing idea to have the family over the evening after the wedding so we could meet her husband. my hubs told her it might be a better idea to have the family meet the guy beforehand. so, she's invited everyone to her new apt next saturday to meet him. i feel like i should get a wedding gift just cos it's the thing to do but a)what do i get and b)what do i get? on this same topic i find it odd that i've talked to my mom maybe 3-4 times since this news has come out and she hasn't said a word about it. not, hey what do you think of your sister's news or anything. how freakin' bizarre is that? my family (bro and sil aside) is so incredibly fucked up.

for the last week or so (the hubs might say longer) i have been in a funk. this week it has escalated to include near panic attacks. part of the problem is that a friend and i had an arguement and though i've made a few attempts to contact her since she's not responded. at all. needless to say i walk around most days waffling between wtf and really? on that one. even with extenuating circumstances i can't believe it's gone on this long with no communication. also i'm panicking about work. i have a lot on my plate right now and after all the changes last month i really have lost pretty much any confidence i had in my ability to know what the hell i'm doing. i'm second guessing myself every time i turn around. i don't like this feeling. i know i whine about this all the time and really i should just shut the fuck up already, but i'm so in the wrong job.

another part of my problem, though i can't believe i'm even betraying the sisterhood and blaming it on this, is that i started my period yesterday. i could bitch slap myself for saying that because one side of me says it's a cop out to use that excuse. i'm sorry i'm so moody, whiney, unresponsive, a slug, but i think i'm getting ready to start my period. yeah, whatever you whiney bitch. but fuck, it's true. tuesday i really felt like i was about to physically and emotionally explode. i wanted to cry. i wanted to beat the hell out of someone, anyone, and i just wanted to fade away into nothing. then bam, yesterday i started and today, though i could use a total backrub like there's no tomorrow, i feel better. how weird is that? i'm still a bit stressed but at least i don't feel like i'm hanging by a ragged fingernail off a cliff spanning the grand canyon filled with water and starving alligators. yeah, i might have gone a bit too far w/ that.

Monday, July 21, 2008

seeing double

i can't believe i forgot to mention two other things from the weekend! (i'm trying to be all broad-minded-like clever w/ my post heading cos i usually suck at that, see if you can figure it out).

friday i picked up my new glasses. for the record i mostly wear contacts (glasses are my back up--and why are they called glasses instead of glass? it's just one.) but since last year have been having issues getting contacts that actually work. i'm getting old (40) and going blind (not for reals) and need bifocal contacts and it's hard to get the right fit/pair/acuity. so, my contacts are on order and i got new glasses. they are unlike any i've ever worn. i wanted to get those almost invisible glasses, the ones w/ no frames and just a bit of wire and lenses but apparently those styles don't work for people w/ vision as fucked up as mine ; ) so here is sort of what mine look like.
the hubs said they make me look 10 yrs younger. he's also asked me to get a white button down shirt and a plaid skirt and knee socks, something about a naughty school girl, but i digress.

the other thing i forgot to tell is that we took the kids to the drive in saturday night. we've not been to one since before the girl was born. there used to be one in the next town over but it closed more than 10 yrs ago. so we drove about an hour to get to a drive in. i had a pollyanna idea of how fun it would be. hmmmm, i was wrong. we got there as the previews were starting and had to park on the front row. not too bad but the car was angled funny and we couldn't see well so we sat outside the car. also, not too bad but i only had 2 of our folding chairs in the truck and though the kids brought pillows and a blanket the area for sitting was mostly rocky and dirt, not lush comfy grass. we made do. the first movie was the new batman movie. i have to confess i haven't liked the ones w/ this christian bale guy in them. i preferred batman when it was michael Keaton or george clooney. the new ones are much darker, more violent. i did pay more attention to the joker (heath ledger) than i probably would have, but i still prefer jack in that role. we stayed for the 2nd flick, journey to the center of the earth, which started at 11:30. lots of people left. i should point out that at this drive in you got the audio by tuning your car radio to a set channel. for the first movie we didn't have to do this cos we could hear all the other people's radios. for the 2nd movie the car beside us decide to sit in their car and run the engine (and air) the entire movie. i was so pissed. we could barely hear the audio. overall i suppose it was fine. i think the kids had a good time. we didn't get home until around 2:30-3am. it was something different though and that was good.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

cliff notes--the weekend update

sweet jesus a lot has been going on around here.

first--my sister? i told you i got an email (or did i? i can't remember) from her that she's dating a guy right? so, looks like they've known each other for a year, been dating a month, are VERY serious and are getting married on aug. 26 at the justice of the peace. yep. i'll give you a sec to digest that. sooo---from what the hubs has gathered (cos she talks to him realizing that i don't give a rat's ass) he doesn't have a steady job, but he works on cars (on the side) does construction (on the side) and moves trailers (on the side). hmmmmm, i'm wondering if he's here legally and if not does my sister realize the ramifications and possible reason for his wanting to get married so quickly (can you say green card?). look , i don't give a flying fuck if he's purple and comes from mars and i really don't even care if he is using her, but damn to become legal (which he may not be) i just wish something would work out in her life that doesn't cause a big kerfuffle all the way around. oh, and he wants to adopt her kids. hmm. i have mixed feelings on that too. ok, you want to screw up your own life (yes, i'm being a negative nelly here, but merely going on past experiences w/ her life) and marry a guy you've only been seriously dating for a month, ok. but to let this guy adopt your kids as well? i just don't know. moving on.

friday i took the day off. the boy had an eye appt. which i thought would be just a check up. he's had the precursory eye exams at the peds office and at school and nothing came up, but this was the 1st eye doc. and low and behold he needs glasses. the hubs said he wonders if anyone ever comes out of an appt. there not needing glasses, but i was in the room w/ him and witness his issues. he, like the girl (and me) has an astigmatism. the doc thinks if they were glasses for a year or so now they might strengthen their eyes and not have to wear them later. we'll see.

after the eye appt. we had lunch w/ my sil and then hung out with her, puddin and gameboy. i hadn't seen them in awhile and it was great. just hanging out, no pressure, holding puddin, chatting w/ my sil, the boys played, the girl fawned over puddin and fed her and changed her diaper. it was nice : )

friday night we got me, the hubs and the boy mp3 players : ) we've been bitten by the rhapsody bug and now all fight over who gets on the computer next to down load songs and put them on their player. it's quite awesome. we even got the adapters so we could listen to them in the car. whooohoooo!

saturday we did a bit of yard work and house work and the hubs found a pretty good deal on a wii that was a bundle pack w/ extra controllers and a game or something. i know little about these things and in fact have not even played it yet. it was guilt that bought that thing. our kids really don't play video games. we had a playstation (or some derivative thereof) for awhile and they never played it. but wii? they've been enthralled. but as i said, guilt bought it. this summer is much like last summer in that once we get into it our grand plans for taking a week off and actually taking a real vacation get trampled in the mud and crusted over by our stoopid jobs. school starts back on aug 25 and we've been no where. i've had one work trip and leave again next week (though i do get to see rod) and he's had trips in between mine. this was the same as last summer--when we got the pool out of guilt. fuck i hate working. of course if i didn't we wouldn't have insurance or you know, food, but still, it sticks in my craw that i can't take a kick ass vacation this summer. we do hope to take at least a 4-day weekend before school starts and go to the beach or something. both kids really want to go to dc and disney, but i really do not want to do either of those things in the sweltering summer.

friday night at tarjay we ran into these people from our church. we have not been to church in more than a yr. seems we have a new pastor and so we went to check him out this morning. i have a whole other post to write about going to church and my thoughts on religion etc. but just can't put it in words right now. it was fine this morning. i'm not a big church person, but it was fine. our kids go to a church-run daycare by default--cos it's nice and lots of activities and cheaper than the y--not because it's christian (because it's a wee bit more fundamentalists for me). the hubs seems excited about this new pastor and vbs started tonight and the girl is excited about that. the boy and i are luke warm.

(disclaimer--i'm a lazy typist tonight and realize there are a slew of mispellings etc. but i'm too lazy to fix them. just know i know they're there and i realize it and am not stupid ; ) )

Thursday, July 17, 2008

looking in the mirror

i just had an incredibly surreal experience. the kids got in trouble because they were fighting over the tv (again). it should be noted that there is a tv in the den (the big screen and the only tv w/ dvr hooked up) and one in the living room and one in our bedroom that basically only gets used for porn watching. oops, did i say that out loud?

anyway they were fighting so the hubs made them turn it off and then the arguing began. we are different parents than my (or the hubs') parents. most of the time this is good (hell, all of the time really) but we tend to let our kids speak their mind. the girl abuses this power and when she's getting a "talking to" she interuppts, talks back, etc.

holy shit, watching her and the hubs go at it was like watching a clip of one of his and my fights. (and our kids don't see us fight like that.) she was loud, hysterical, crying, defensive. it was mini me in action. down to the point where she puts on her martyr robe and says ok, fine i'll never say another word or i'll never do this or that, etc. just so long as this can be over and you'll stop talking about it. omg. it wouldn't have been any weirder if i'd written the script for her.

i felt a certain kinship to her, even though she was in the wrong. the conversation ended. the hubs went out on the patio for a smoke and she went off crying to her room. after a few minutes i went in, tried to hug her better but she just kept wailing and then started running her mouth again so i got up and left. now the hubs is in there talking with her.

though the boy also got a talking to he's just the opposite. he just sits there taking it all in, not saying a word. shakes his head at the appropriate times and looks repentent (not that he is).

a few weeks ago a younger mom that i work w/ said it must be cool to have an 11 yr old daughter because they're at the age where you can do girl stuff together. in a way this is true. however, my girl, though she embraces the tomboy side of herself, is a total shopping diva--the complete opposite of me. when we are out and happen to look at clothes or shoes she's always offering her opinion. she'd have me wear fuck me pumps every day of the week--she can't wait to wear heels. i say the flatter the better. anyway, the older she gets the more i see so many of my quirks and character flaws in her. i'm not saying she's a bad kid, my god, she can be one of the sweetest, most affectionate and loving kids. last night she was simply perfect. she wanted to help make dinner, she was happy, she was joking around, it was so pleasant and so unrehearsed. sometimes she does things and you know she's just waiting for her payoff, but last night was honest goodness. tonight, she's linda blair and i'm waiting for the pea soup to spew forth.

i think we've started down the moody teen road whether we like it or not.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

that's amore

so i'm sitting here at work eating popcorn in my hellacious pod and totally NOT wanting to write a damn thing. not good since i have an assload of work to get done and i'm planning on taking friday off to hang out w/ the chilluns (that's southern for kids in case y'all didn't know). snort---i say that like i'm totally southern. uh, no. i just happen to live in a state in the southern part of the country.

lately i've been trying to focus on the good things in life because at this juncture there are some things in life that i'm trying hard to deal with.

so aside from the kids (who i write about a lot) there's the hubs. before i get into this, let me assure you--he is by no means perfect. lord knows : ) one of the things he does that irritates the shit out of me is that he calls me out on things. like if i handled a situation badly or procrastinated too long on something, etc. initially i get totally pissed because i'm like, uh, you are so not my boss, but then later i realize he's not doing it to act like my boss, but to make me step back and actually look at a situation because i do really get emotional and perhaps irrational in some instances. he's also a dead-horse beater. he has a hard time letting issues drop. this sometimes drives me completely bat shit crazy. ok, so see, he's not perfect. oh, and then there's the thing w/ dirty clothes. helloooooo...we do have a laundry hamper dude. laying dirty clothes on the cedar chest isn't the same thing.

however--he totally rocks my world. seriously. i have loved him, in varying degrees, for 25 years. i can't lie and say those 25 years have been wonderful because to be honest, we had some really, really bad, dark times. the almost get a divorce times. i used to threaten that a lot. but, and i think i've written about this before, a relationship is like a roller coaster with its ups and downs. we go through cycles. though i always love him, i'm not always in love with him. there's a HUGE difference in the two.

loving him i can't imagine ever not being connected to him. when we broke up in college we were still connected. we still talked all the time, i still loved him and wanted him in my life, i just wasn't in love with him. i never for a moment dreamed, however, that he'd not always be there for me. we're strange in that we talk about the future a lot (at least i think we're strange, maybe not, maybe lots of couples do this) and we talk about what ifs. his goal has always been to make sure the kids and i will be ok when he's gone. i count myself is a pretty independent person but in all honesty i'm incredibly emotionally dependent on him.

being in love is different. it's the omg--he's coming home from his business trip today and i can't wait to see him. it's the joy in just being together and wanting to be together (not just being together because you're in the same house). it's the needing to talk to him, touch him, see him. it's sleeping better when he's in the bed. i don't know how to put it into words. it's the happiness of it all.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

bleary eyed and down trodden

picture me pouting and scowling and harumphing and kicking things like a spoiled child (or much like henry viii). i am bleary eyed from staying up reading the other boleyn girl until 3:30 am. yes, you read that right. i have not finished the book but simply did not want to put it down.

i am down trodden because the mother of the boy's best friend called last night to see if the boy could spend the day with him. she's a nurse and works on weekends, but she's off, all week, with her three kids. it is becoming increasingly more difficult for me to feel good about working and coming in here day after day when i know my kids would rather be doing something else than spending the summer at daycare.

naturally the girl is totally pissed that the boy doesn't have to go to daycare today, despite the fact that she's been on at least 2-3 sleepovers or parties since the end of school. she thought i should let her stay home alone today. uh, fuck no.

Monday, July 14, 2008

one word meme

You. Can. Only. Type. One. Word. (It's harder than it looks!)

1. Where is your cell phone? purse

2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/lover? soul

3. Your hair? curly

4. Your mother? manipulative

5. Your father? drunk

6. Your favourite item? word

7. Your dream last night? work

8. Your favourite drink? tea

9. Your dream car? free

10. The room you are in? messy

11. Your ex? nonexistant

12. Your fear? failure

13. What do you want to be in 10 years? together

14. Who did you hang out with last night? family

15. What you're not? small

16. The last thing you did? typed

17. What are you wearing? pjs

18. Your favourite book? king

19. The last thing you ate? salad

20. Your life? happy

21. Your mood? pensive

22. Your friends? varied

23. What are you thinking about right now? reading

24. Your car? white

25. What are you doing at the moment? duh

26. Your summer? short

27. Your relationship status? loved

28. What is on your tv? movie

29. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday

30. Last time you cried? thursday

31. School? MU

music meme

Go to
- Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
- Bold the songs you liked then
- Italicize the ones you still like

Top 100 Hits of 1986/Top 100 Songs of 1986
1. That's What Friends Are For, Dionne Warwick, Elton John, and Gladys Knight
2. Say You, Say Me, Lionel Richie
3. I Miss You, Klymaxx
4. On My Own , Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald
5. Broken Wings, Mr. Mister
6. How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
7. Party All The Time, Eddie Murphy
8. Burning Heart, Survivor
9. Kyrie, Mr. Mister
10. Addicted To Love, Robert Palmer
11. Greatest Love Of All, Whitney Houston
12. Secret Lovers, Atlantic Starr
13. Friends And Lovers, Carl Anderson and Gloria Loring
14. Glory Of Love, Peter Cetera
15. West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys
16. There'll Be Sad Songs, Billy Ocean
17. Alive And Kicking, Simple Minds
18. Never, Heart
19. Kiss, Prince and The Revolution
20. Higher Love, Steve Winwood
21. Stuck With You, Huey Lewis and The News
22. Holding Back The Years, Simply Red

23. Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel
24. Sara, Starship
25. Human, Human League
26. I Can't Wait, Nu Shooz
27. Take My Breath Away, Berlin
28. Rock Me Amadeus, Falco
29. Papa Don't Preach, Madonna
30. You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi

31. When The Going Gets Tough, Billy Ocean
32. When I Think Of You, Janet Jackson
33. These Dreams, Heart

34. Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone), Glass Tiger
35. Live To Tell, Madonna
36. Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle
37. Something About You, Level 42
38. Venus, Bananarama
39. Dancing On The Ceiling, Lionel Richie
40. Conga, Miami Sound Machine
41. True Colors, Cyndi Lauper
42. Danger Zone, Kenny Loggins
43. What Have You Done For Me Lately, Janet Jackson
44. No One Is To Blame, Howard Jones
45. Let's Go All The Way, Sly Fox
46. I Didn't Mean To Turn You On, Robert Palmer

47. Words Get In The Way, Miami Sound Machine
48. Manic Monday, Bangles
49. Walk Of Life, Dire Straits
50. Amanda, Boston
51. Two Of Hearts, Stacey Q

52. Crush On You, Jets
53. If You Leave, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

54. Invisible Touch, Genesis
55. The Sweetest Taboo, Sade
56. What You Need, INXS
57. Talk To Me, Stevie Nicks
58. Nasty, Janet Jackson
59. Take Me Home Tonight, Eddie Money
60. We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off, Jermaine Stewart
61. All Cried Out, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam With Full Force
62. Your Love, Outfield
63. I'm Your Man, Wham!
64. Perfect Way, Scritti Politti
65. Living In America, James Brown
66. R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A., John Cougar Mellencamp
67. Who's Johnny, El Debarge
68. Word Up, Cameo
69. Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen
70. Silent Running, Mike + The Mechanics
71. Typical Male, Tina Turner
72. Small Town, John Cougar Mellencamp
73. Tarzan Boy, Baltimora
74. All I Need Is A Miracle, Mike + The Mechanics
75. Sweet Freedom, Michael McDonald
76. True Blue, Madonna
77. Rumors, Timex Social Club
78. Life In A Northern Town, Dream Academy
79. Bad Boy, Miami Sound Machine
80. Sleeping Bag, ZZ Top
81. Tonight She Comes, Cars
82. Love Touch, Rod Stewart

83. A Love Bizarre, Sheila E.
84. Throwing It All Away, Genesis
85. Baby Love, Regina
86. Election Day, Arcadia
87. Nikita, Elton John
88. Take Me Home, Phil Collins
89. Walk This Way, Run-D.M.C.
90. Sweet Love, Anita Baker
91. Your Wildest Dreams, Moody Blues
92. Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney
93. Object Of My Desire, Starpoint
94. Dreamtime, Daryl Hall
95. Tender Love, Force M.D.'s
96. King For A Day, Thompson Twins
97. Love Will Conquer All, Lionel Richie
98. A Different Corner, George Michael
99. I'll Be Over You, Toto
100. Go Home, Stevie Wonder

movie meme

(psst, can you tell the hubs is out of town again?) here's a meme. enjoy. if you do this on your blog let me know so i can come and read.

Entertainment Weekly's list of the top movies of the last 25 years. Go through their list and BOLD the ones you have seen and asterisk** the ones you really want to see.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)

7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984) ***
12. The Matrix (1999) ***
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)

18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)

41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)

49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993) ***
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)

56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)

59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)

64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)

67. Donnie Brasco (1997) ***
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)

74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007) ***
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)

83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)

92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)

100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

my music, part II

ok, you are going to be so bored by the time i'm done w/ this. i've just started going through my cds to start my list of fave overall albums. i decided to add another category: music you might be surprised i have and like : ) he he he

uncle kracker--because i love the song follow me

norah jones--come away with me. this girl has the most incredible voice. she's my nod to jazz which i want to love but don't.

anne murray--what a wonderful world, 26 inspirational classics. what can i say? everyone needs a little spiritual uplifting once in awhile right?

chant--the benedictine monks of santo domingo de silos. ok, i haven't listened to this in probably 15 yrs, but chanting is cool : )

vangelis--this is the guy that did the theme to chariots of fire and blad runner. it's instrumental and haunting. the first time i heard him was in college and i'd driven (by myself) to easton, pa. to visit an aunt and uncle. we spent the day in new hope, it was the coolest little town, in one of the shops they were playing vangelis and i loved it. i drove back the next day and bought the cassette, which was stolen about 6 yrs ago. i've never been able to find the exact same one, but still, his music is cool.

the soundtrack to the rocky horror picture show--ok, this is really the hubs, but every once in awhile it's worth a listen : ) a little pelvic thrust.

classic sinatra--because yes, i too have a rat pack side and in some moods enjoy that type of music--i've got you, under my skin (i think i started liking this after i saw that mel gibson movie when he can read women's minds? they played a lot of this type of music in that)

nena--99 luftballoons. i get this one by default because we were in high school in germany in the 80s when she was big. the cd i have has songs in english and german. i love it, despite the fact that i don't know the german words : )

crash test dummies---you know that song, mmm mmm mmm mmm. love that guy's deep voice and on this cd i love god shuffled his feet, afternoons & coffeespoons, the mmm mmm song and swimming in your ocean.

my music, part I

thanks to all of you who submitted your musical suggestions and to those who are still working on your lists. i thought it only fair to give you a little insight into my musical world as well. i've thought about how to organize this and am still stymied. there's no way i could just say, here's my top 10 albums, and leave it at that. music is much more than a list to me. so, i'm going to break this up into three separate posts. the first is a list of music by influential times of my life. the second will be my all time favorite albums and the third will be my favorite songs.

so, here goes.

the early yearsin 3rd grade i went to my first concert--peter frampton.
i had no idea who he was, but your first concert certainly opens your eyes to the experience of music. later i bought the album.

before i started buying my own records and making mix tapes off the radio : ) i listened to my parents records. i grew up with everything from johnny cash to lots of motown, all the beach boys, jan and dean and mamas and papas stuff. i sill love this type of music when i'm in the right mood. for awhile i got into all the dance songs back then--the bristol stomp, the mashed potato, etc. i loved poison ivy, who wrote the book of love, elvis presley and the sweet voice of miss patsy cline. when i was maybe 5 yrs old my grandma used to take me to the vfw and i'd pump coins into the juke box to listen to helen reddy and delta dawn.

middle school
in middle school i fell in love with men at work.
they were so different. they were australian. i was fascinated. during that time i also fell in love with andy gibb (shadow dancing). my prepubescent soul longed for victoria principal to die and for him to marry me. sadly, he died of a drug overdose. i also listened to rick springfield (dr. noah drake from genho), loverboy, hall & oates, the grease soundtrack and rod stewart started creeping into my world. i wanted desperately to like men without hats because when i was in 9th grade i had a crushes on two juniors. one, kurt, was an honor society, keyclub preppy w/ izod shirts and the other was eric, a new wave swimmer type that i thought was so incredibly cool. he liked men without hats. i didn't.

high school
my loves were all over the place during this time period. i held on to men at work, but added prince, purple rain and 1999. phil collins, no jacket required, i listened to all the time. i liked springsteen's born in the usa, but argued w/ my best friend that phil was much better. : ) ah, yes, i was young.
chicago 17--that album could be the soundtrack to the beginning of the hubs and my relationship. every song seemed to speak to me or whatever we were going through. i also loved cyndi lauper, she's so unusual, wham and billy idol. one of my best friends and i walked several blocks to a pay phone and pumped it full of money to listen to a recording of billy idol. we did it over and over and squealed like the teenage girls we were.
in high school i went to my second concert. monsters of rock. totally NOT my genre, but it did open my eyes to van halen (with david lee roth) and i loved 1984. the other bands at the concert were dokken, ozzy osbourne and ac/dc. i never did really get into heavy metal though. aside from all the hot, typical 80s songs, i also loved wham, duran duran, pet shop boys, whitney houston (before she turned into a drugged out has been) and of course madonna.

in my junior year of college i went to my first rod stewart concert on his out of order tour. though i'd listened to him off and on then and already loved maggie may and the first cut is the deepest and you're in my heart, this sent me over the edge and hooked me for good. i've seen him one other time since then. during that time i also discovered fleetwood mac, randy travis, sinead o'conner and lots of dance music. guns n' roses, appetite for distruction--there are only a handful of songs (and not necessarily my favorite ones) that i remember the exact moment i heard them for the first time. the first time i heard welcome to the jungle i had gone to a club--it was an old house across from campus that had been turned into a dance club. each room played different types of music. i walked into a room and heard welcome to the jungle and had to have the cassette. i also branched out into the cure and robyn hitchcock and the egyptians during this time. some pink floyd and stairway to heaven hit home w/ me because a guy i thought i loved played them on the guitar. plus, those were getting high songs : )

since college
it's hard to sum up all the music i've loved over the last 18 years (good lord, i've been out of college for 18 years!). the ones that have made the biggest impressions on me are train, counting crows, van morrison and matchbox 20. i also love james taylor and carly simon, tina turner, B52s, aerosmith, REM and depeche mode.

speeding and my sister

thursday morning on my way to drop the kids off at daycare and head to the airport i got pulled over.

we live outside the city limits and frequently drive these little back roads where you're not always sure what the speed limit is but you just sort of go w/ the traffic right? so i'm on the road near our local convenience store and see a cop car. i thought nothing of it. i made my turn and a few minutes later i see the cop car behind me and his lights are flashing. i assumed he was chasing someone in front of me so i pulled over. needless to say i was quite surprised when he pulled up behind me and made his way to the car.

the last speeding ticket i got was almost 9 years ago when i was about 9 months pregnant w/ the boy and i was on my way to work. my kids have never been in a car that's been pulled over. the boy was totally rubber necking around to look at the cop car.

so the officer comes up and tells me my kids aren't wearing their seat belts. huh? we don't leave the driveway w/out them being buckled up. granted, neither are in booster seats any longer, but they're above the age/weight requirements for that. i turned at looked and the girl was as she should be and the boy had not taken his belt off but he did have the shoulder strap behind him and was sitting turned around to look at the cop's lights.

i told the officer this. he then told me that i was speeding. the road i had been on was 35 and i was doing 47. didn't you see me sitting on the side of the road? he asked. uh, yeah (like i was supposed to intuit that meant something??) and you came to a rolling stop at the stop sign. so he took all my info and went back to his car for like 20 minutes. hello, i have to catch a fucking plane dude.

he gave me a warning on the boy's seat belt (uh, cos he was buckled in douche bag) and told the boy about proper seat belt safety. the boy was crying while the cop was in his squad car, assuming this was all his fault. then the cop gave me a fucking ticket for the other two things. nice.

and on the sister news? she's such a....twit? dumb ass? i don't know what to call her. she sent us all (meaning me, my sil my mom and the hubs) an email today telling us that she is dating someone. that they've been talking for a year but that now it's getting serious and he's good w/ the kids, yada yada yada. is it coincidence that she sent this out the week my brother is out of the country? i wonder : ) anyway, what do i say to that? uh, yea, good for you? i don't really care one way or the other. i think it's odd that after a year of talking/dating/whatever that she's telling us now. it's not like we never see her or that she doesn't call or email us for the most trivial things. she had to throw his nationality in there too, like i give a shit, but added that he's not like the others she's had children with dated. the hubs said she's told us this now either because the next shoe to drop will be that she's pregnant again or that she's getting married. i hope if a shoe is dropping that it's the married shoe.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

back from atlanta

i got back from atlanta last night. oy vey it's good to be home. so, what's been going on? how was my trip you may ask?

last week i had an eye appt. and i supose the good news is that my cataracts, though quite lovely and unique as my eye dr said, are not impairing my vision. my prescription has changed, duh, doesn't it always, and i had to pick out new glasses. i hate doing that. so, in a coupla weeks i'll have a new look. i wear contacts and glasses. my contacts are bifocal but my glasses are not. my current contacts do not allow me to read things close up or sometimes reading in general is touch w/contacts. i am vain though and prefer to wear my contacts more than my glasses. usually this bites me in the ass.

so, on to the trip. thursday my new person and i went to atlanta for work. i basically needed to show her around, etc. thursday we spent the whole day w/ a retail family in our industry, a family i know and love and it was a great day, but still, i had a shadow all the time. we visited their stores, had lunch, did an interview and then had dinner with them and some other people. the restaurant was dimly lit, it was late in the day and really could barely make out the menu w/ my contacts. i basically listened to what the people around me were ordering and ordered something from their "oral menu." it was fine and all was well and we got back to the hotel around 10:30 and i was a vegatable. i talked to the hubs and the kids (they had gone to bed but weren't yet asleep) and was asleep by 11:30.

friday we worked the show, me and my shadow. i'm not used to having someone follow me all the time. it is weird. i have no privacy. and, since i'm the boss i feel like i have to set the tone and keep up this ridiculous pace. we had another dinner friday night and didn't get back to the hotel until 11. again, i could barely work a crossword puzzle before conking out. saturday we worked the show and then went to the airport WAY too early for our 7:30 pm flight home. i was just over it all and tired and tired of having someone around 24/7.

oh, and what makes this whole thing even better is that oh, about monday, i started getting this GIANT, i mean mt. vesuviously giant zit right in the laughline crevace above my lip. yeah, that looked huge and red and GREAT BIG all fucking week! when we were at dinner thursday night i was joking about it w/ one of the girls in the family we were with (she's 20 something) and she said she uses proactive (yes, the one on tv) and has for years. the girl has beautiful skin--ok, it was dimly lit in the restaurant, but seriously, i never would have thought she had acne issues. and the thing in, i don't either. seriously, i've never had that battle thank god. but once in a blue moon i will get one huge one, typically at the most inopportune time (like there's ever a GOOD time for a huge living zit?).

while i was gone the girl went to a birthday sleepover party friday and the boy and the hubs had "guy night." this involves rootbeer, the boy's choice of dinner and watching movies/TV until the wee hours of the morning. also, yesterday my brother left for a week-long mission trip via his church to mexico. they're holding sports camps and building stuff this week. he's a better person than i am.

the boy is begging me to inspect a strange looking bug on the trampoline so i guess i'm done here.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

the evilness of the internet

dammit to hell. so i'm on rhapsody downloading music like a mofo right? my library is getting full. i've downloaded stuff for the girl's mp3 player. all is good. then i go to burn a cd and fuckity fuck fuck you have to pay 99 cents per song to burn a track to a cd. even with a membership. for real? that sucks.

i thought that's what my membership was covering. dammit!

ok, so does anyone else download music, and if so, do you really pay 99 cents a song? 99 cents doesn't sound like much but when you're talking a buttload of tracks that adds up.

is there anywhere (even suscription sites) that let you burn unlimited songs to a cd?

one way to get around this is for the hubs, the boy and i to each get our own mp3 player, but i like listening to my cds in the car. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllpppp! i should have known it was too good to be true.

oh and fyi we did have night before being out of town sex.

seno evil, speak no evil, hear no evil

i know a bad pun. but now i have seno on the brain. actually this touches on a previous post about showing off the girls.

i decided to finally unpack some of the boxes that were sitting on the floor of my pod this afternoon and at least make it look like i'm not ready to bolt at the drop of a hat or an extraordinary job offer.

as i was doing so i thought, huh, this is what the hubs means. the seno (is it senos plural?) could clearly be seen as i was bending over.

the hubs told me if i asked around the office (and the men were honest) that i work with people who've seen my clevage. (not like nips and stuff, c'mon this is a respectable place). he said think about this--your pussy of a boss has seen your tatas. yeah, ok, that makes me feel good. evidently, seeing the tatas wasn't quite enough to let me stay in my nice cushy pod instead of moving into this shit hole.

like i'm going to go around asking if anyone's seen the twins. yeah right.

ok, unless i don't get lucky tonight this really is my last post at least until sunday. talk amongst yourselves, and if you haven't thought about your music recommendations and sent them, you can do that while i'm gone. (like you don't have anything else to do right?) if you don't want to comment, email at

luv ya. mean it.

fill er up

so, i thought i'd give you something else to read, cos ya know, i'm going to be gone for a few days for a work trip to hotlanta.

so i'm sitting in the new pod (it's really half a pod) thinking that i really should be getting some work done and at the same time thinking i am so fucking tired of this place i think i could cry. i'm hearing way too much crap i don't want to hear since we're all sitting so close together. one guy in here beats the shit out of his keyboard, like where the hell did he learn to type? and he rarely speaks. at first i thought it was because he was shy. when he first came here i tried to make him feel welcome cos he's a fellow west virginian. but now i'm beginning to think it's because he's just not that bright.

the guy catty corner to me has a voice like slingblade. yes, i'm serious. he talks loudly on the phone. hell, you could whisper on the phone in here and it's still loud. plus, his wife calls him on his cell phone like 54 times a day. the ringer is loud, she is loud. i can't hear what she is saying but i can hear her voice.

the guy in front of me is cool and he's not on the phone alot so that's good. he has a wicked sense of humor like me. oddly enough he used to work with a boss i had a kabillion years ago.

my new staff person sits to my right. she's quiet. she will be traveling w/ me this week. yes, i'm so delighted.

i guess it could always be worse right? my friend sweet t just emailed me that she's working on a spanish version of a mammography brochure. in case you're wondering, i asked. the spanish word for boob is seno.

non sequitor
do you have rituals at your house? no, not like find a stray animal and paint a pentagram on your kitchen floor type rituals, but things you do w/ some regularity?
the hubs informed me last night that i have going-out-of-town routines. these routines have developed subconsciously cos i certainly didn't plan them.

so after our behind-closed-door-session yesterday the hubs said, so, will that hold you until sunday? i was like--uh wtf are you talking about i don't leave until thursday and i get home saturday. he said yes, but we don't usually have sex the night before you leave and the night you get home you're usually too tired. wtf? i did not realize this at all.

i think he told me that just so we'd have sex tonight so i'd prove him wrong. like a reverse psychology kind of thing?

i do know that i like to have the house pretty much in order before i leave, though lord knows the kids trash it the very next day. i have to give the hubs props though cos i always come home to a clean house and children that are still alive and well. he really does kick ass at keeping all the balls in the air while i'm gone.

what else? oh, it's 19 days until i see rod stewart. i know, exciting isn't it?
do you ever go back and read your own blog from start to finish? yeah, me neither, that would be so narcissistic right? ok, hell, i've done it.

while i'm gone the girl has a sleepover birthday party to go to. the boy and the hubs will have "guy night." the boy looked at the hubs seriously last night at the dinner table and said, "dad, you know what this means right?" "right." "we need rootbeer."

ok, i'll stop now cos i'm just typing and the thoughts aren't coagulating.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

wall e

we went to see wall e sunday w/ my bro/sil/puddin/gameboy and my friend broad minded and her adorable spawn (what??? that's what she calls him, not me). he's a precious blond-haired blue eyed cutie that held my hand in the movie. ok, ok, it was because wall e was trying to hold hands w/ the other robot, but still it was sweet.

what can i say? it didn't thrill me. actually it kind of depressed me. basically the story line goes that people fucked up earth so badly that the population had to go on a "space cruise" while robots cleaned up the planet. for 700 years. humans turned into fat-asses extraordinaire since robots took care of their every need.

walle was stuck on earth to clean up and eve was probe robot sent to find life. she found a plant. now that's all i'm telling you.

i'm not a big robot lover to begin w/ so i didn't really get into the movie. not like kung fu panda, which totally kicked ass and i loved.

as far as animated movies go, here are some of my faves:

lady and the tramp
alice in wonderland
song of the south
charlotte's web
finding nemo
the incredibles
toy story (1 and 2)
monsters inc
the polar express

readers, music and sex

first i had a totally vanilla day. sitting in the new hell hole pod i sit in, though i have no walls and if i look up i can see the other pod groundhogs' heads, i feel alone, cut off from the world that was mine before this move. i really am trying to make the most of it but frankly it sucks balls.

so, after the vanilla day i came home blah. amazing how sex makes things better. it must be all those endorphins or something, but at least something good happened today.

in another note, i have finally tried google reader and it's not bad. i have a kabillion blogs listed in my faves that i visit from time to time. the ones i read on a regular basis are in my sidebar over there--so i stuck some of them in google reader. even for me, the non-technophile, it was pretty easy. now i just sign into google reader to see if anyone's posted anything new rather than going to my blog and running through the links. very cool.

thanks to all of you who've sent me music suggestions. i should note here also that my good friend big t totally introduced me to van morrison (not literally of course) last year. i wrote a lot about van then, several posts. it was like falling in love i was so into him, and still am but i don't listen to him 24/7 like i did then.

so, i will begin downloading all of your suggestions and comment on my thoughts here from time to time.

though i don't think the hubs has read the blog for awhile and hasn't been able to put in his two cents worth about his song picks, i will list a few here. for those of you who know him irl, these may surprise you. i know my taste is all over the place, but dude, his is really all over the place.

songs the hubs likes:circle in the sand
eternal flame
(honestly, he i think he'd leave me for the bangles)
everything i do i do for you
me so horny
put her in the buck (these two from two live crew--yes, white boy has a little gansta in him)
my perrogative
love shack (we do a great karoke duet to this one)
grandpa (and lots of other judds songs)

i leave thursday for atlanta for work and will be home saturday. for the first time in a long time i'm not taking a work computer with me so there will be no live bloggin on this trip. i'll only be there two nights and have a work dinner each night so it's not like i'll have loads of time. plus i figure i might finally read the other bolyn girl that i've had for months and haven't even opened yet.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

and then there was music

sweet mother of pearl i have FINALLY discovered how to download sweet music from the internet. yeah though i walk through the land of blogdom, i am an internet novice and am years behind most of the world apparently in discovering all of its wonders.

last year we got the girl a cheap mp3 player and the dog ate it before i could figure out how to get music on it. (we had it more than a year). she got another one for 5th grade graduation and though i figured out how to transfer cds onto it, i still couldn't navigate the music download world. low and behold today i joined rhapsody and downloaded music! i am in heaven. holy cow this is awesome!!!!

so i downloaded our song by taylor hicks for the girl and now i'm like a kid in a candy store putting songs in my music library to burn to cds. it's like a giant light bulb came on and it's so musically bright!

so--name your top five songs you think every person should love and i will download them and adopt them as my own : )

happy 4th

my friend broad wrote an awesome post about july 4th, and in comparison mine is not so awesome : )

yesterday, after we got the tires put on the car and ran some errands we had family over for the 4th to swim and hang out. my bro/sil/puddin and gameboy came over first (cos i told my mom and sister not to be here before 2:30 thank you very much). i can't believe how much puddin has grown since the last time i saw her a couple of weeks ago. she's rolling to her side now, not quite all the way over, but almost. she sported her animal-print bathing suit but firmly screamed that the water was too cool for her : ) a little later my mom, sister and her kids showed up.

we ordered pizza (not the traditional hotdogs/burger 4th fare, but it was easier) and before going to watch the fireworks we put off some of our own.

years ago, when the girl wasn't even a year old, we did this at my parents once. my sister kept saying we used to do this all the time, but uh, my brother and i do not remember this.

after our fireworks we went to see the town fireworks. we parked in this nearby field, which we've done before, but this time there was a family there saying it was a private field and they were begrudgingly letting some people park there. of course as cars saw other cars parked there more and more came. the family was being quite snotty and rude about the whole thing. they should have posted signs or something. anyway, we stayed there, waiting for the fireworks. right when the first firework was launched, it started drizzling rain. since the forecast was for a higher chance of rain today they didn't postpone it, but rather shot of the whole load like a teenage boy having sex for the first time. it was fast.

afterwards the kids said the fireworks we did at the house were better. i'm going to start scouting out the landscape so next year we can find the perfect spot to watch the town fireworks where we're close enough to feel them. that is what i love about fireworks, feeling the boom and sparkle so close that it feels like it's running through your blood.

meanwhile, in florida, the hubs watched fireworks on the beach. i know he wanted us there, but i'm so excited he got to see them that way. he LOVES the beach. i can only imagine how incredible that must have been. most likely the best part of his trip.

he says it's humid there and there are lots of lizards (or baby dinosaurs as my friend big t calls them). he's on his way home now though and should be here around 8 tonight. we've saved some fireworks to put off when he gets here and he's buying some on his way home : )

Friday, July 4, 2008

a full thursday

the hubs made it to florida wednesday night and so far he's pretty certain his brother is in bad shape. i don't even know where to begin w/ what's wrong w/ him. basically, from what we can piece together all of his problems stem from uncontrolled diabetes. his kidneys are shutting down, he's had his gallbladder removed, there are stomach issues and on and on. right now the drs are playing w/ his meds. (i am becoming increasingly astounded at just how much doctors DON'T know or can't fix lately, but that's another post altogether). since the hubs has been in florida it seems they decided to put him to work w/ a honey-do-list of things they can't do or haven't done. while he's busy with these things his sister and her kid are going for walks on the beach and taking naps. yep, she was REALLY concerned about visiting w/ her sick brother. meanwhile in oklahoma the FIL is out of the hospital but they're still running tests, adjusting his meds as well, something kidney related there too-though he doesn't have diabetes.

yesterday was one helluva day for me i must say. before noon it was just work. i'm trying desperately to adjust to my new pod but it's just so weird.

our offices closed at noon, i got out of there at noon-thirty. i toyed w/ the idea of going home and mowing/cleaning and also w/ the idea of picking the kids up early from daycare but the girl was on a field trip and wouldn't be back until around 4. so i went shopping.

we have these stores called ross dress for less. i don't know how nationwide they are but they're like name brand stuff at closeout prices but not nasty like big lots. i like going there when i'm alone and have time to hunt, because you really do have to hunt for stuff. i got two new bras (i wish i could design bras cos i don't know what people are smoking who design them now) and two outfits for work.

when i got back to my car--flat tire. nice. being the girl that i am i called my brother. couldn't reach him, called my sil to find out where he was. called him again and left a msg and then decided, fuck it, surely i can change a tire. (go ahead, you can laugh now). i got the donut out of the trunk--why the hell are they so small? that just doesn't make me feel safe/good at all. i put the jack under the car and started at it. a couple was walking by and the man stopped and helped me. thank goodness cos i had the jack on upside down : ) so cliche but i had to have a guy change my tire. i watched closely though and i think now i could do it.

drove to the place we get our car stuff done. it was 3:30. they said they could patch it but i'd have to wait. i said as long as i was out of there by 5:30 (to pick up the kids) i was ok. so i sat and waited. car places need to get a clue. they need more magazines than car and driver and golf in their waiting areas. oh, there was a bhg but it was like two years old. i finished a crossword someone started in yesterday's newspaper and at 5 they said, uh, yeah, we can't patch it, we found another slit on the side too. nice. i just lost and hour and a half of my time. no time then to have new tires put on (two, cos the hubs said you can't just do one).

so i picked up the kids, came home and then had an argument with a friend and she hung up on me. actually i'm still reeling from it and won't go into the details but i'm stunned. i've hinted in a few recent posts about my inability to confront people when something bothers me and this is exactly why. confrontation with friends is never a good thing. i got off the phone shaky and bawling.

after that i mowed the grass, that calmed me down some.

then a milestone for the girl. i taught her to shave her legs. : ) she's 11 and is blond and like me, not very hirsute (how often do you get to use THAT spelling word from high school?) but she insisted her legs were horribly hairy and needed shaving. she's been at this begging since last year. before we started i warned her, there was no going back. once she started she'd have to do this for the rest of her life. yeah, much like anyone younger that you try to share your wisdom w/, she didn't care. so she shaved. i even splurged and bought her shaving cream (i just use soap). and, like the dweeb i am, i took pictures of her shaving for the first time : )

so that was my relatively craptastic thursday. today is better. i will post later tonight most likely, when i still have the thrill and thunder of fireworks coursing through my body. fireworks are one of my favorite things in the world.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

one reason i love blogging because you can talk about things on your blog you might not feel comfortable talking about IRL. however, i pretty much talk about everything IRL but blogging has introduced me to some cool women and i like the feeling of community i get from reading their blogs and commenting.

i was just commenting on one such blog and realized it was getting WAY too long so i'm posting my comment here instead.

the topic is how long has it been since you've had sex and how long is too long and even w/ extenuating circumstances it's a dilemma.

this particular blogger and her hubby haven't had it for a year, partly because of scheduling/school, kids and medical things.

i'm a firm believer in different things work for different couples and if one doesn't feel like it or can't then enough said. the hubs and i have had dry spells through the years--we've been married nearly 16 yrs so of course there were dry spells. i think the longest we've gone is a few months (the hubs would know to the exact minute and he would probably say it was six months) but that's been several years ago. it was always me when we were going through dry spells and it always had to do with my emotions more than the physical part of it. when i used to stress out big time about money and life and everything surrounding that the last thing i wanted to do was have sex. when the hubs stresses out he sees sex as a stress reliever--obviously that caused issues.

i think too during those times we weren't as emotionally close as we've become and that had a part in it. i think if you can talk to each other about it and work it out, whether that means you have sex more often or not, but as long as you're both on the same page it's ok.

that being said--i know my parents haven't had sex for like 5 years (they're only 60) and that i don't understand. their relationship is fucked up on myriad levels though. they aren't emotionally connected at all; i'm not even sure if they like each other.

there have been rare occasions when i've been the one wanting it more than the hubs and i have to admit, i pout and let him know of my unhappiness. masturbating is all well and good but one needs more than that.

another issue is the kids. this too is different for each couple/family. one of my blogger friend's issues is that one of her kids stays up late (i have one of those too. she goes to bed at 9 or 10 but often is still reading at midnight and our room is across the hall from hers). the hubs and i have learned to become opportunists when it comes to sex with kids in the house. we're typically night owls anyway so staying up past when the kids go to bed isn't an issue, though usually by that late i'm too tired. it's not uncommon for us to come home from work and go to our room and lock the door before we even have dinner. my kids aren't stupid and i'm sure they know we're having sex but i'm ok w/ that. we don't play tonsil hockey in front of our kids but we're affectionate and i'm ok w/ that. my parents never were and they never really talked about sex or anything so it was all like a dirty secret thing. i don't want my kids to see sex that way. sometimes if we both get off work early and the kids are still in daycare, we take advantage of an empty house. we've even fooled around in the living room when they've gone to bed (and one kid was in our bed).

bottom line is i think you have to be on the same page with the frequency and talk about it. and if you both want it, lock the bedroom door or sneak home in the middle of the day or something.

oh, and one more thing--i think the sex drive is a cyclical thing for women much more so than men. as i approach 40 (good lord, yes it's true) i'm realizing that i've matured a lot in the last 5 years and i think of things and handle things differently than i did. you really do get past the point where his socks on the floor near the hamper (or in the den or under the couch) don't send you into a hellacious tirade where you seeth with anger. i also think there is a point in a woman's life where she hits a sexual peak and though it's different for us all i think it starts in the late 30s. at least it did for me.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

punch drunk blog

ok seriously, this is the last one for tonight. it's been awhile since i've actually caught up on the blogs i read regularly. i even delurked on a few tonight and commented. i'm like in giddy blog land right now. i read something on broad's blog that talked about an article that said something like blogs are like therapy and i totally believe it.

i get off on writing mine even though i don't have a huge readership.

i get off on reading others and reading all the comments. i can get lost in blogs for hours following commenters links or blogrolls etc.

i don't use readers or anything (i'm sure that would save time). i go back to blogs i comment on to read the other comments. do you?

i comment in my own comment section but some bloggers don't. do you?

on my sidebar i have the blogs i read most often but in my favorites i have like a kabillion others that i randomly stalk.

total non sequitor (cos i'm punch drunk) but here are two guilty pleasures.

1. tori and dean. yes, i've watched the damn show and omg i can't help liking her. i know, how totally retarded is that? i hated her on 90210 (yes bitches, i watched that AND party of five thank you very much) but i can't help liking their show.

2. the family guy. i think sweet t told me about this before (i really should listen to her recommendations more often cos she's also the one that turned me on to lolcats) but i didn't pay attention. that show cracks me up. and, sadly i'm a horribly bad parent because my kids started watching it and then once i REALLY started watching it i realized, uh, this totally is not for kids. however despite their sheltered lives my kids are pretty astute and mature for their tender ages. some of the stuff goes over their heads and some doesn't. we watch it together and i'll taking my beatings for being a bad influence in letting them watch it. they watch saved by the bell too. what can i say?

this little piggy

ok, i can't resist. obviously in a perfect world i'd splatter pics of my kids and puddin and gameboy (that's my new nickname for my oldest nephew btw) and munchkin all over the blog but i'm paranoid like that. however, i don't think baby feet give much away and omg could you not just nibble these little tootsies???

a stolen meme

i stole this from kristin : )
enjoy (oh, btw--be prepared for much posting over the next few days cos the hubs is out of town and this is one of the ways i amuse myself when he's gone--that is when the kids are not driving me bat shit)

1) Where were you 10 years ago? a decade ago the girl was a year and a half and the boy wasn't yet a glimmer in our eyes. we were living in the trailer (yes, we lived in a trailer) and i think i was working in another job i hated--marketing. hmmm, perhaps i just hate working?

2) Five items on my to-do list today? well, it's almost 10pm so i'll give a list of things that were on my list to do. call the nurse to find out if this numbness i'm still feeling in my pie hole is normal (pretty much); visit donut/ninja and meet munchkin (too cute); laundry (uh, no, i haven't done any yet. i hate laundry) formulate a game plan for july 4th (family's coming here to swim and then go watch the fireworks--i heart fireworks)take the kids to tarjay so they can spend the allowance they don't really earn (done)

3) Snacks I enjoy? mmmm, well, when i'm able to eat something other than stuff you don't have to chew i like the following: ice cream, nuts (all nuts, i love nuts), edamame, gouda on crackers

4) What would you do if you were a billionaire? the hubs and i live out this fantasy on a regular basis. obviously paying off the bills, setting aside money for two college educations and some other money for the ungrateful children are tops on the list. then there are dreams of a farm and land (not like a working farm, a scenic, storybook farm...with horses to ride) and designing and building our own house (which we've done a million different ways in our minds) and having a beach and mountain house and traveling. i'd buy art i love and i'd buy the bro/sil their dream home and i say we'd help out my folks etc. but the hubs says no : ) maybe we'd have a christmas tree farm too.

5) Where would I live? i really don't know the answer to this one. we've lived in nc longer than either of us has ever lived in one place, but i'm not opposed to living elsewhere. i have fantasies of new england but the hubs would never live somewhere with that much snow. i have to have SOME semblance of spring and winter so i couldn't live further south than i am i guess. i also wouldn't mind living abroad for awhile, though not forever.

shiny happy me

ok, perhaps that's a bit far-fetched really, but i'm trying here folks.

i know you will be totally surprised but guess what? this is going to be a random bit of info cos that's just how life is in shiney happyville.

* we have a local-near-the-house convenience store we frequent. as in we shop there probably 4-5 times a week for gas, cigs, snacks. the hubs stops at least once a week to get the kids a treat after he picks them up from daycare. the manager there regularly poses trivia questions to the kids and when they come in w/ the right answer they get a donut. i think that's kind of neat.

* i've come to realize that i'm loathe to throw away a tube of mascara even when i know damn good and well i'm not getting one more itsy bitsy smear of stuff out of the tube. what's up with that?

* i am officially moved into the pod-from-hell though i'm still not unpacked because i don't really know how i'll work in the space. the man that sits directly in front of me could be my new bff. he's quite funny (older, like in his 60s i'd guess). today he told me it's not so bad where we sit because we have pot parties at 4:20. 4:20 came and went. he lied. but still, funny.

* the hubs and his sister (and her son) left for florida this morning. we didn't know the son was coming until she was halfway here and the hubs talked to her on the phone. who does that? who you may ask? the same woman that come to visit last summer with her dog (that we didn't know about until she got here) and bought another dog while she was here. yes her. while the hubs is in florida trying to discover just how serious the brother-in-law's situation is i hope he does not a)kill his sister who thinks she's a doctor because she works in a nursing home; b)kill his 15-16 yr old emo nephew who's been arrested 2-3 times and came out of the bi-closet on his myspace page (where he stupidly lists his phone number, high school and other info that's such an online no-no) or c)kill the florida sister-in-law who (i shit you not) could be jay leno's twin sister. she's mouthy and talks bad about the family and the hubs is totally on the verge of ripping someone a new asshole just now anyway.

* my dear sweet friend big t does not have to have surgery on her elbow (hooray) though i admit i'm simply blown away that such a massive unclean break is going to heal itself.

* i finally got to see donut's baby, munchkin, today. omg--another sweet baby girl for me to love. that is the tannest looking baby from the palest (no offense donut) parents i've ever seen. munchkin looks like she just stepped off the beach. and hair? my lord she has a beautiful head of hair.

* since friday my diet has included: cream of wheat (i really love cream of wheat), jello (i don't really like jello), baked potatoes, pudding, yogurt, ice cream and an english muffin w/ peanut butter. i tried soft tacos last night. not so much yet. tonight the kids and i went out to eat and i got quiche--that worked. that's the most substantial thing i've eaten since friday. quiche. if i weren't craving meat and pistachios and cereal i think i could do this all summer and lose some serious poundage.

* in 26 days i will see rod stewart. i remain excited.

* i don't know if this means we've matured or what but despite all of the craziness in our lives right now the hubs and i could not be closer. in the past, when times were stressful we fought like cats and dogs. now it's like we're each other's only safe haven.