Monday, May 30, 2011

the end of a good week/weekend

my first week back to work was great. my first three day weekend was great.

for the last two years that i've been unemployed we have been in such a limbo...i sort of feel like we are butterflies now, emerging from our cocoon. this weekend we planted some flowers in the pots on the patio (love me some clearance annuals for 50 cents. usually all they need is a bigger pot and some water), worked on the pool so it will most likely be ready this coming weekend and hung out with friends and family.

saturday evening we went to a friend's stock the bar party (they got a new bar). i got to hang w/ a couple of former co-workers and chill out. it was good. going to gatherings like that makes me appreciate the spouse i have even more. he is not perfect (neither am i) but he's perfect for me. i love to observe people and when you get a bunch of people together and there is alcohol involved, you can learn a lot about people and their relationships.

we got the kids' swimsuits this weekend--and surprisingly it was not a nightmare event finding a suit for the 14 yr old girl. she is over the moon happy about her suit. all is right with her world now. my bro and his family came over today to hang out. we hadn't seen them in awhile (he's working a lot) so it was good to reconnect with them. in a perfect world they would live in my neighborhood and we could see them all the time. hell, in a perfect world lots of people would live in my neighborhood and i could see them all the time.

i am still filled with these feelings of giddiness and shock that i am again a working girl and that we will not have to lose our house or move or rebuild our lives from nothing again. the hubs said my whole attitude has changed, as has his. this gigantic weight has been lifted from our shoulders and the loss of that burden makes it easier to deal with most anything right now. obviously life isn't perfect, but now there is more positive than negative. for so long the scales were tipped the other way it was hard to enjoy the good.

Friday, May 27, 2011

etiquette question

so, now that i am back to work (thank GOD, no, really THANK YOU GOD), i don't have the freetime i once did. i cannot access my personal email or face libre from work (not that i've tried to get on fb at work, yet, but i can't even get to my yahoo email).

now when i do get a chance to look at fb i realize that i am friends w/ a lot of people i never talk to. i may comment on their posts from time to time (whether they comment on mine or not). some people have friended me and we've never even "talked" or caught up or said boo to each other.

i just pruned my friend tree. there are people on my list who friended me and seriously we never interacted. some i have tried to make comments on their posts and never get a response. so. i am being ruthless.

have you done this? how do you handle it?

also---possum....thank you for your comments : ) if i had your email addy i could respond...i always respond to comments via email. i need to add you to my blogroll too! : )

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

am i dreaming?

i feel like i am in a dream. it scares me and makes me paranoid. i think this has the makings of the most excellent job ever working for the most excellent company ever. (remind me of this post 6-12 months from now when i'm sure i'll have found something to bitch about).

i have worked for big companies before, and i think maybe the last company i worked for was as big? but it was a dutch company and things seemed quite disconnected. i am working for a company w/ 3000 national employees and my office is in the hq building.

after two years....good things are happening for us. well, not just yet because i don't get paid until june 9, but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and i know it isn't an oncoming train.

the kids are coming home afterschool---not going to afterschool care or anything. it is bittersweet for me. i knew it would be hard on me. i keep trying to get an idea of how they feel about it, but it's only been two days. when school is out they will be going to a summer camp (daycare type setting) because i just can't think of them being here 24/7 all summer, alone, doing nothing except possibly killing each other.

when i came home today the girl had emptied the dishwasher i started before going to work, vaccuumed and started dinner. i was stunned! the hubs and i had discussed w/ the kids that they'd have to step up their game when i went back to work, and w/ that might come a bump in allowance. we'll see how long this lasts. i think we're all still in the honeymoon stages of it.

i really think i'm going to like the job...though to be honest i'm still finding out what it is exactly i'll be doing. i am swimming in a sea of technology and acronyms the likes of which i've never seen.

tomorrow our department is taking a team building field trip to the zoo : )

part of me feels guilty because i have a couple of friends who are still out of work; a couple of friends (and a hubs) who have jobs they hate hate hate; and a couple of friends who are working but are still struggling. i want to swoop them all up, to include my bro/sil, on this wave of good fortune we're getting ready to ride. in a perfect world i would get settled into this company and find out that they're hiring and the people i love would be perfect for the jobs.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

a phone call from bubba ass

ah gentle readers, i have just had a conversation with bubba ass. i don't know how many of you were reading me back then, august 2005; if you weren't you have to read the bubba ass post to get the full beauty of his amazing character. i couldn't have made this guy up if i tried. he is my bil (married to the hubs' sister).

since that visit in 2005 he has been to my house one other time. i looked for the blog post about that time---it too was a doozy as several of the hubs' family were visiting at the same time. one evening during that visit bubba got to me so badly i actually locked myself in our bathroom and smoked a j. then i emerged and ended up telling bubba ass that the only men i'd ever seen carrying around a mini dog like he'd just bought at the flee market (god help us) were gay.

flash forward to tonight's call. we'd just walked in the door (non sequitor---the hubs' boy and i were out running errands, the last being at the evil empire (walmart) and it was around rapture time. the hubs thought it would be oh so ironic if i got raptured at the evil empire of all places. i said if the ground starts shaking i'm at least driving next door to target.). the phone rang and i saw it was the hubs' sister so i picked it up.

me: hello?
them: hello, who is this?
me: uh, ck, who is THIS?
him: oh, it's bubba ass. you're actually who i wanted to talk to. (funny, since i'm the one you called.)
him: i wanted to ask you some questions about filing for unemployment.
me: ok. i'll answer what i can but the rules/regs in your state may differ from mine.
him: so you were out of work for two years?
me: yes.
him: how many jobs did you have to apply for each week?
me: once i signed up for unemployment i had a form to fill out and had to apply for two a week, though i applied for way more than that. i had a friend who had to apply for three. it might depend on what type of job you're looking for.
him: what type of job were you looking for?
me: in publishing or marketing.
him: and you couldn't find one in two years?
me: no. i freelanced, but no full time job.

he asked me lots of other questions like what do you do if you are offered a job and the pay isn't good. i said i was at the point where i would have taken anything so i had never turned a job down. he asked how you knew how much unemployment you'd get each week. i said it depended on your salary from the previous year. then he asked what my salary had been. of course i declined to answer that. then he asked what kind of company i was going to work for. i told him and said it was in the marketing department. he said, and you can do that? i informed him that yes, while my degree was in journalism i have a minor in marketing and that while most of my career has been in publishing i have also worked in a couple of marketing departments.

once he finished picking my brain about unemployment, thankfully the conversation ended. i wished him luck and hung up the phone.

i am still calling him bubba ass.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

supporting the girls

starting a new job in a weeks means i need some new clothes. i went bra shopping the other day. i hate bra shopping, but omg, i fell in love w/ the bras i got. nothing extravagant mind you, they're playtex, but they are so damn comfortable.

i have never spent much money on bras (these were on sale for under $20 each) and had never considered the big bolder bras. you know the ones, those that looks like tatas are in them even when they aren't? they're a little padded. i never considered them because i thought, hey, the girls are big enough on their own and i don't need padding and those big bolder bras look weird. i have always been an underwire girl---the girls need the support and the older i get the more support they need. the bras i had were at the point where it was like, ok, which one of these is going to hurt me the least, because all of the wires were poking out and stabbing me.

i got the padded, full cup bras and they are like heaven. seriously i have never felt more comfortable in a bra. the girls look perkier than they have in 20 years and i'm not being pinched or anything! love them! i seriously thought about taking a pic of the girls and posting it but thought better about it.

if you are a full figure gal or have bodacious tatas i highly recommend the playtex secrets line of overtheshoulderboulderholders. they even have pretty colors : )

Saturday, May 14, 2011

You shit your pants this year, isn’t that enough?

While I’m not a huge sex in the city follower, this one scene from one of the movies keeps running through my mind. Charlotte stops running when she finds out she’s pregnant, even though the doctor said all is well. When Carrie confronts her about it she confesses that she’s scared something bad will happen because she has everything she wants---blissfully married, a child, another on the way, life is filled w/ rainbows and unicorns etc. while one friend got left at the alter, another is talking divorce and a third broke up w/ her long term bf.

Charlotte is scared to death something bad will happen because her life is so good and nobody ever gets everything they wanted.

That is how I feel. I feel like someone is going to pinch me and I’m going to wake up from this dream. I have a job. I start a week from Monday—giving me time to take care of a few things I have put on hold because of not having a job. Getting the washer fixed so I don’t have to babysit it to keep it from overflowing when it drains; getting the dogs their latest round of shots (they’re only a month behind), etc.

I know no company is perfect, and my boss (omg I have a BOSS) alluded to roadblocks and frustrations we’d face, but everything I’ve learned and heard about this company screams awesome. When the hubs told his CFO where I’d be working he was blown away and said it was nearly impossible to get a job there and everyone wanted to work there because it was such a great company, great benefits, etc.

Aside from the tangibles—insurance is half of what we’re paying w/ hubs’ company; pay is more than I was making when I had a full-time job; matching 401k, etc. etc.—the company climate seems amazing. Dress code? Jeans—and not just on Fridays. (Although I went shopping for jeans yesterday and frankly, it’s going to be harder than I thought to find jeans I think I look halfway decent in.) Pranks? When I was meeting w/ them on Tuesday they were discussing what to do to part of the team’s area when they are at a conference this week. Team building? Two days after I start, my department is taking a fieldtrip to the zoo for team building and fun.

It has been a long, long two years of unemployment. You have been there every step of the way, reading post after post of whining and complaining and for that I thank you. There have been good things about these last two years—being with my kids more, being a mom, taking care of things and learning who my real friends are. I don’t think anyone will ever know just how much that means to me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I have

I have stood atop the Eiffel tower and the Empire State building
I have met Rick Springfield, a former Joint Chief of Staff and the founder of Build A Bear
I have crocheted a blanket
I have read Gone With the Wind and The Bell Jar
I have visited the Louve
I have known four of my great-grandparents
I have found my soul mate
I have been published although none of it has been creative
I have touched a snake and it wasn’t as bad as I thought
I have spent the summer camping in a platform tent in Texas
I have ridden on a motorcycle and a Greyhound bus and a train
I have tipped over in a canoe
I have broken my arm and have had stitches in my head and gave birth twice
I have a crescent shaped scare on one of my toes
I have a birthmark
I have a lovely pair of rose colored glasses that I wear way too often I’m told
I have written a eulogy…it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write
I have visited Gettysburg
I have appeared on tv…admittedly it was when I was in third grade and my Brownie troop was on a local afternoon cartoon show
I have a tendency to be hateful, defensive and a bit of a hermit
I have taken a boat ride on the Seine and crossed the Rhine on a ferry
I have an acute allergy to poison ivy
I have realized I love being a stay at home mom, though financially it isn’t feasible
I have two siblings, one of whom I consider a best friend
I have the ability to burp on command
I have a mole beside my ear and my son gives it names
I have wasted a lot of time
I have loved penguins since I was in high school
I have lived in NC 24 years of my life (not consecutively) but still consider WV home even though I only lived there for nine years (not consecutively)
I have found true friendships in places that have surprised me
I have had chicken pox, pneumonia and a broken heart
I have rolled a joint
I have stapled my thumb
I have sat in a hospital fearful of the survival of my husband and daughter
I have lost a friend to cancer, another to a car wreck and several because we grew apart
I have visited three zoos
I have been on a bowling team
I have stood in awe at the beauty of Notre Dame
I have stood in silent despair in a concentration camp
I have seen the Grassy Knoll
I have a tiny bit of Cherokee blood in me
I have had dreams that people were pregnant that came true, including one about myself
I have slept on a waterbed
I have a flower tattoo
I have cried over a tv commercial….and greeting cards…and people making enchiladas
I have to have something to drink with me when I’m in the car…even if it’s just riding around town
I have been laid off three times but never been fired
I have a wild hair that springs from my upper arm occasionally and it is almost always about two inches long…overnight
I have to say every letter of the word sincerely in my head when I’m writing it
I have eaten snails
I have much to be grateful for, even though I don’t always remember to be grateful
I have a fear of going down escalators (but not up); suffocation; and getting a call that someone I love has died
I have slept in the car at a highway rest stop
I have been incredibly lucky in the good that’s been in my life, despite being unemployed for two years
I have a yen for Chinese food, homemade mac & cheese, brownies, asparagus and cheesecake
I have dug in the couch for change to buy something
I have a small window of time between a nice buzz and being shitfaced
I have a desire to be recognized for my creativity even though I haven’t a clue on how to start
I have to pinch myself sometimes because I am so lucky to have given birth to the most amazing people on the planet
I have a hand-washing compulsion
I have a J.O.B!!!!!

Friday, May 6, 2011

and so it begins

....the end of childhood. i've been trying to prepare myself for this year for a long time. the year my daughter graduates middle school and my baby boy graduates elementary school. it will happen in june but we're already starting down the slippery slope of them gaining more independence and becoming teenagers.

well, technically the girl is the one spreading her wings right now, but it will just snowball and then they'll both be going off to college and leaving me.

last weekend the girl went to a boy/girl party. at a boy's house. i knew half of dozen of her friends who were going. girls. turns out there were like 10 girls there and the one boy. don't you find that odd? i do. she had a blast. watched scary movies (which she never does at home).

tonight she is going to a carnival/fair type of thing in our town. her and two friends. w/out parents. for the first time. i am .....scared, sad, nervous. i don't worry about her and her behavior or actions....yet. i worry about all the crazy fuckers in the world. i know she has a good head on her shoulders. but she's growing up. she wants to go out and do things w/ her friends. i will slowly lose my influence on her. i will have to trust that the hubs and i have done our jobs to prepare her. teach her. good lord this part of parenting is hard. i read this quote the other day about motherhood:

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

i think the older my kids get the truer this statement becomes. i know i will be a blubbering idiot they day of their graduations. and yes, i know they are still children, partly, and this is nothing compared to high school graduation and college and omg....weddings. if i think about it too much i don't think i'd be able to stop crying. up your kids folks....even when they're being annoying pains in the ass. because you're going to turn around one day and they'll be off on their own living their life. SOB!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

love me some colin

firth that is. although i didn't watch the live viewing of friday's wedding (i caught a recap that night) i did watch the king's speech last night. i love colin firth. although i don't think he is considered among the "hotties" i find him sublime and charming and personable and handsome. above hot if you will.

the movie was spectacular really. sad in many ways. i realize it's a movie, but the glimpse into that royal life is always mesmerizing. i had always had a more romantic, doe-eyed notion about edward giving up the throne for his true love, but in actuality he was a bit of an ass, she a bit of a player, and it's probably better he gave it up. i think england would be a much different county if he hadn't. i love the fact that although george vi's own parents were hands off and of that aristocratic age that didn't really take care of their own kids or show them love, he and elizabeth seemed to be loving parents.

i watched a recap of friday's wedding---though all those years ago i remember watching that wedding live and being touched and awed. looking at the clips of that now, i don't see the glowing love and affection that i thought i did then, things that were so obvious in this wedding. i liked the nods to di and the personal touches the couple put on their special day.

the hubs and i were talking, after watching the king's speech, and wondering what the english government will do this time around. not only is the next king divorced, he's remarried to a divorced woman. i think times have changed enough that this won't be an issue, but it was only two-generations ago that it was. interesting.

i like the fact that the new future queen doesn't have a royal drop of blood. i mean after all of this time i'd say they need to expand the gene pool right? and don't you know when william eventually watches this coverage he's going to come face to face (if he hasn't already) with the fact he's got a huge bald spot and harry has a nice full head of hair? wouldn't it be cool if kate's sister and william's brother got married?