Sunday, January 30, 2011

games people play

i love playing board games. my kids are growing into playing board games. the top shelves in our hall closet are filled with board games. isn't this where everyone who has a hall closet keeps their games? i thought it was a house rule or something.

we have the stupid games....the fad games or whatever...not "real" games. like there is a wrestling board game up there....and i think a star trek game and a few others.

it takes awhile for kids to be old enough to play some games so, while candyland is gone (i think it got played to death) we still have sorry.

i've never learned to play chess, but we have that too. and dominoes, jenga, etc.

the kids like playing clue. clue is ok with me....i just don't really LOVE it. but, it goes pretty quickly so i play if the kids want to.

the games i enjoy the most are scrabble, scattergories, mancala, risk, trivial pursuit and i think i might enjoy the girl's game of madgab she got for her birthday, but we've only played it once. i also enjoy yatzee.

last night the boy wanted to play monopoly. ugh. seriously, ugh. at 11 the boy still doesn't have the patience to play this game....which is probably the longest game in the whole fucking world. i know monopoly is popular...but seriously you have to set aside a weekend to play this thing. i hate it. hate, hate hate it. initially it doesn't drive me insane...but once all of the properties are bought, sold, traded and improved's really just a slaughter of who lands on boardwalk and loses all their money. it is purely chance, there is no strategy, no skill really. i hate it. i think i might have to hide it in the closet.

what games do you play? what games do you like??

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

there's a bird sitting on the patio chair.... i type this. apparently said bird does not realize our weathermen are calling for rain, a wintry mix or snow....they aren't quite sure which just yet.

i have 69 pieces of mail in my spam email box. ironic since most of those emails are about penis enlargement, viagra, hooking up with singles in my area or something from the irs and fbi. either way, some one's getting screwed.

i had an interview this morning with the company i've interviewed with twice before for different jobs (they hired someone internally both times). i'm guessing eventually they'll just hire me and figure out what position to put me in. (this should not make you think of the 69 reference above, though at this point, i'm willing to do most anything for money.) in the last two weeks i've applied for three jobs with them. of course i get called in to interview for the job that least excites me. of course right now i would take any job...ok...most any job...but really can't see spending the rest of my life writing about cell phones. i'm just saying.

in my little metro area the publishing industry is small. if you've worked for one of two-three companies here you are bound to either know people at the other company or have common acquaintances. this never ceases to amaze me. it's quite incestuous.

last night when i was going through my closet trying to figure out what to wear for my interview i realized just how poorly stocked it is. i have an interview outfit that is older than my 11 yr old son. pathetic. and yes, i have worn in within the last year. my other fall back outfit is about 8-9 years old. i tried it on last night and almost laughed out loud at myself. not only is it way too big, but i could probably maim someone with the big-assed shoulder pads. i put it in a pile for goodwill.

i have never claimed to be a style maven, but even i now recognize that some things in my closet really must go. a silver shirt? a green shirt w/ metallic thread in it? really? what fucking planet have i been living on? yeah, going through my closet made me feel so....out dated.

the out-dated theme continued this morning during the interview. me? writing about cell phones. ah, the irony. i wouldn't know an app from a hole in the ground. mobile web? wtf? i muddled my way through. however when one of the guys described editing as quality control ....really, i almost laughed out loud.

i finished reading wicked. i wasn't thrilled with it. i liked the concept of the story---showing things from the wicked witch of the west's view point---but the story itself didn't impress me much. i'm having a difficult time understanding how a play based on that could get such rave reviews, but having never seen the play i just don't know.

i watched precious---the book was much better (though much, much more graphic), more compelling and powerful. i also watched seven pounds. i love will smill. really, he can do no wrong for me. the movie was ok.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

i thought it would get easier

....raising kids. i thought as my kids got older being a parent would be easier. boy was i wrong. as the parent of an 11 and 14 year old i am here to tell you....the baby years? the toddler years? piece.of.cake. seriously. yes, i realize those times are trying because it is frustrating trying to communicate with little people who aren't reasonable (they don't get any better as they get older) or who can't fully express themselves (sometimes at this age they still can't) and there are the sleepless nights, constant needs to be met, etc. the early ages are more physically challenging i'd say.

as they get older the challenges become more emotional and mental. i have been concentrating on finding the perfect high school for the girl. one where she will fit in and be challenged. one that will best prepare her for college and meet her (self-proclaimed) nerd-girl needs. one where she will not be singled out as being the smart kid. we were considering three. we went to a magnet fair. we were told yes, transportation is available. ah.....therein lies the rub.

one of the options is a new high school, non-magnet, built w/ a grant from the gates foundation. it is in the town beside ours. we would have to provide transportation. god knows i better have a job by august (seriously god, before then is imperative) and that would enable me from transporting the girl to that school.

the other two schools are magnets. one operates on the community college schedule---so delays, snow days, etc. don't jive w/ the rest of the school system. i could drop my kid off at a local elementary school where she'd catch a bus to this early college. of course at the end of the day (a couple of hours before most 8-5 jobs are finished) she'd have no way home from the elementary school. same with the other magnet.

so, while it seems like my school district has a ton of options for smart kids...apparently you can only attend them if you have one parent who does not work and is able to take the kid to and from school. really? what kind of fucked up education system is that?

i told the girl. told her i can't think of a way to make any option other than the high school in our town work. she cried. hard. for 45 minutes. she is still blue. she does not want to suffer through high school like she has through middle school.

i wonder if i could hire a chauffeur?

and...when i do go back to work....what to do about childcare for the summer? while i'd probably be ok w/ letting the kids come home after school alone....i wouldn't let them stay here all day every day during the summer alone. they'd die of boredom or kill each other.

i wonder if i could hire a nanny?

Sunday, January 16, 2011


friends and friendship have been on my mind a lot lately, mainly because my best friend from high school is coming to visit in a few weeks. initially i was nervous...i mean we haven't seen each other in about 15 years. but since finding each other on facebook we email almost every day and have reconnected in a way i didn't think was possible. it's like time stood still and we picked up our friendship as grownups. it is perhaps the best thing that happened to me last year, or at least right up there in the top 10.

renewing this wonderful relationship has made me examine my current and past friendships, something i've always done anyway. i've ranted about friendships here a lot...i think because deep down i'm so insecure. i have tried to talk to my daughter about latching on to one person exclusively only to be disappointed by that person in the end...and yet that is often what i've done.

i've been fortunate to have some really wonderful friends during my life....but i also realize that there are people whom i thought were wonderful friends who really weren't in the end. like everyone i have had people who've drifted out of my life for one reason or another, i think that's natural. you're brought together by circumstance and when circumstances change you lose touch. but i've had two friendships that ended badly and because of that i second guess myself on the type of friend i am.

i think it's time to stop beating myself up. i can't make someone stay my friend or invest in a relationship; they either do or they don't. they either take me as i am or they don't. my very best friend...the hubs...takes me warts and all, and he knows me better than anyone. i have a couple of friends that i still consider true friends. i may not talk to them or see them every day, but whenever i do we always fall back into sync and i know that they care about me and they don't judge me and....they're just good people.

today i went to lunch with a group of girls that i once considered very close friends, one of whom i latched on to almost obsessively. (that was one of the friendships that ended badly). since our circumstances changed (we no longer work together) we have drifted...or i should say i have drifted...they have remained a group and become an even tighter group. for a long time now this has bothered me tremendously....that i was the outcast. that insecure part of me wondered what was wrong with me...why didn't they like me. today i realized know what? it's ok. i don't share their interests and i'm at least a decade older than some of them. we are at different points in our lives and the common denominator that brought us together is long gone. i guess i've known this for awhile actually, but kept trying to ignore it, kept trying to stay on the fringe of that group. today i found out that one had suffered a personal tragedy and i had no idea. i felt like an idiot for asking the question that brought this subject up...but really? how was i to know. aside from feeling horrible for bringing it up and sad for her tragedy i was a little mad that no one had told me. i mean it's one thing to not share the day to day things going on in people's lives, but major things....i thought i was at least still friend enough to have been told. but...i'm not. and....that's ok.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

off the top of my head

the kids went back to school after christmas break last week. they have been home for three days (so far) this week because of snow. it is hard to get much of anything productive done when they are home. i mean, i still clean and do laundry, etc. but dedicated computer time is always interrupted. but, i have been trying to live in the moment and realize that these days are gifts because soon enough i'll be back to work (god i hope so) and the next thing i know they'll be off to college.

the girl and i scoped out the magnet school fair this weekend. it is so hard to make a decision. my gut is to send her to this early college school....when she completes that program she'll have an associate's degree and can go to an nc school for free for the next two years.

the girl is turning 14 on the 17th. she's having a sleep over this weekend. i still cannot believe she's going to be 14. it seems like a much bigger deal than 13, perhaps because she'll go to high school in the fall.

the boy has a friend over today. they are working on their science fair project---which paper makes the best paper airplane.

i am not quite sure what "mom" jeans are, but i think i wear them. being unemployed for almost 2 years has certainly changed my style. it is all about comfort. i don't think i've had any new clothes since i got laid off. i don't see the point really. i also need a hair cut. badly.

i made homemade popovers yesterday and for whatever reason i am incredibly impressed with myself over them. i don't know why because they're pretty easy to make. but, they looked cool and they were damn tasty.

my high school bff, texas, has booked her flight and they're coming here the first weekend in february. i am still stunned that she's coming, it's so far! i am trying not to panic. what will i feed them (i'm a horrible cook); what if the house isn't clean enough? what if she finds out she doesn't like me anymore? i mean it's one thing to renew your friendship via email, but what if in person she thinks i'm a douche?

when the kids and i were out running errands earlier today we ran into the girl's kindergarten assistant teacher. the woman couldn't believe how grown the girl looks. neither can i.

the hubs and i pooled our christmas money from my parents and got an elliptical. we haven't used it yet because i got a cold on new year's day and then gave it to him. he's still coughing and hacking with it.

i have to go now. i have to take pictures of little boys flying paper airplanes for a science project.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


my friend sweet t shared this comment about the new year...someone she'd talked to said it didn't really feel like a new year just leftovers. i have to say, so far i concur. i have been out of the online loop, partly because of the holidays and partly because new years brought me a nice cold. i'm not back to 100% yet but at least i'm not coughing my head off and i'm out of bed/off the couch. now i am sneezing like a big nostrilled mofo working in a pepper factory. my sides are killing hurts to cough and sneeze for three days straight. i think this is what my sides would feel like if i did situps on a regular basis.

we celebrated new year's like we always do....w/ the kids. we played some board games, ate a bunch of crap, watched poor dick clark count the ball down, (saw one of my fave groups, train, perform one of my fave songs, drops of jupiter) toasted each other w/ some sparkling grape juice in wine glasses (my kids think that's a hoot) and then set off a few firecrackers. the night before my bro, sil and the kids came over for an early new years celebration. they brought their new just dance wii game...omg....lots of fun but lord i was sore the next day.

though i remain enamored of my long-time fave johnny depp (because i'm nothing if not loyal), i have to say a new character has crept onto the scene. i fell prey to the sookie stackhouse books...they were like crack. we've watched some of the tv series true blood, which gave me this face to tie to the character in the books who's become my favorite, eric. sweet jeebus. i have read all 10 books and just discovered she has one coming out this year too. hawt doesn't even begin to describe this character, and i say character because although i can appreciate his physical being, the character in the book is simply much so that even when he calls sookie lover it sounds hot not redunkulous.

more book talk---aside from the last three sookie books, i also got a new stephen king book for christmas, which is waiting patiently to be read. and i picked up wicked at the used book store. i am always late to what's going on in the world. of course i have heard people rave about seeing wicked, the play, but i had no idea what it was about. so when i saw the book and read the synopsis...the wicked witch's side of the wizard of oz story...i was hooked. i'll start reading that soon too.

have you seen that reality show extreme couponing? we caught an episode last night and i sat mesmerized. it's misleading really. i thought it would be more practical and make sense. i'm all about saving money and i use coupons....but those people are insane. they stock pile shit. like rooms and garages full of groceries. one couple has separate home owners insurance on their stash! how is that saving money? another couple moved 1000 lbs of their stash from one state to another. how is that saving money? i understand the idea of saving money and the thrill of getting something for free or greatly on sale....but i really don't think i need a lifetime supply of toilet paper just because i can get it for free. one of the guys on there did at least make some sense to me....he bought an ass load of cereal...for next to nothing so he could donate it to the food bank at his church. ok, that i get. but...having enough food/supplies in your garage to last a lifetime and you still buy stuff? i think this show could easily be ranked up there w/ hoarders.

although the holidays seemed frenetic, they were also laid back in that we weren't on any schedule. no school, no soccer, no karate. this week we are back to the mix, back to the routine and we are 12 days away from the girl turning 14. i don't know why 14 seems like a much bigger deal than 13 did, but in my mind it is huge. it's kind of freaking me out a bit. i guess because i know that the next big thing is...high school. this year...this 7 girl will be a freshman in high school. it will take me all of those seven months to wrap my brain around that concept.

i'm contemplating taking the blog undercover. my kids are getting older, more savvy and more nosy and i'm pretty sure if the girl put her mind to it she could find my blog. though i only blog from my laptop, i don't do so in a dark secluded corner, so i'm sure she's seen the screen before. sometimes i think about giving it up altogether, but for some reason i always come back. another addiction i suppose. i think even if nobody read my blog i'd still blog. though it would be damn lonely for sure. i need to figure out how to capture/save all of my posts before moving along to something more secluded. i can't lose all these years of words.

the hubs made a good point recently. of course we have been worrying about money and my getting a job prospects and what this year will bring. we've talked about how statistically this has to be our year because really, the last three years have been hell and we're due a good one. his point was...regardless of what happens in the next few will be over. either i will have a job and we will be getting back on track and this unemployment will be over or i won't get a job...the savings will be gone....we won't be able to pay the bills and life as we know it will be over. however....LIFE won't be over. things would be drastically different....but we won't be dead. we will still be together. maybe not in this house. maybe not with these things. but, we will all still be together.