Tuesday, September 30, 2008

a horse w/ no name

1. i don't know what that song means, i've been through the desert on a horse w/ no name.

2. i am an impatient person.

3. sometimes don't you just want to come home, rip your SO's clothes off and get busy? and you can't because there's dinner to be made and homework and blah blah blah blah blah---get the kids in bed already and let's get to it!

4. i'm beginning to think the girl has been replaced w/ a clone. she not only kissed me again at the bus stop this morning she is now folding laundry. on her own! i did not ask her to do it. i think, for some unfathomable reason, she likes doing laundry. could i really BE this lucky? i am trying not to freak because she isn't folding everything the way i fold it.

5. the leak was fixed yesterday. thank god it wasn't a mainline water leak where they would have had to jack hammer up our foundation. it was in our shower. it was because the plumber that "fixed" it this summer fucked it up and didn't sodder/sauder (spell check doesn't like either word) it right. stupid fucker.

6. in six years my daughter will be graduating high school and off to college. holy fuck. we opened a cd yesterday.

7. the hubs aka CFO has been doing a lot of money stuff lately. he's always been the one who thinks about our future. life insurance, 401k etc. his goal is for us to be taken care of if he kicks the bucket first. w/ all the stuff he's been dabbling in lately i think he thinks he's going to kick sooner rather than later.

8. if the hubs' fucking phone rings one more time after 6pm or on the weekend i think i'm going to seriously lose my freaking mind. even the kids cringe now when it rings. i know it's not his fault and i know he realistically can't turn it off, but just knowing the lucky sperm boy and his father who run the company do not answer their phones after hours while the hubs is busting his ass really pisses me the hell off.

9. one of my younger friends always has a halloween party and always invites us. i am thankful i have several excuses for not being able to go. 1--the boy's birthday is very close to halloween and there is usually a birthday party around the same day as her party. 2--our kids are still of trick or treating age and this also happens around the time of her party. i would feel like a total old person at her party. we would be the oldest couple there by like 10 years. plus--i've seen pics of her party--the costumes are ones i'd wear if i were 20 and a size 6.

10. i wish tonight would have been one of the nights when we came home and rushed to the bedroom before getting started w/ everything else.

11. the kids' halloween costumes are set. the girl is going to be cleopatra and the boy is going to be wolverine. it was a specific wolverine costume though--one we had to find on ebay. the boy is quite particular.

12. it is almost 9pm--which means almost kids' bedtime--except the boy has JUST finished his homework and is JUST now getting in the shower. the hubs has to get up at 4am. methinks my plans for carnal lust will go unsated.

13. are you dressing up for halloween (my favorite holiday in the world)? if so, what are you going to be? what are some cool things you've dressed up as before? hmmm, maybe i should have a contest. maybe it could be something like send me a pic of yourself in costume and the coolest one wins a thing of my choice.

14. the hubs is a qvc/hsn ho. dude would seriously buy a lot of shit from there that we'd never, ever use. like the silver beverage fountain that was just on. do you know people who actually WATCH those channels. like, for more than a click through on the channel surfing gig--like, for hours. i admit i like watching when they do christmas stuff or gardening, but dude can watch anything on there. (HIS FUCKING PHONE JUST RANG--it is 9:03pm!!!)

15. ok, now i have seen everything (can you tell i'm randomly blogging as i wait for the appropriate nookie time?) hsn is hawking a backpack vacuum cleaner. really?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

weekend recap

yesterday the hubs and my bro helped move my grandma into my aunt and uncle's house. they converted their garage into an apartment for her. i was skeptical, but we went to see it today and it really is quite lovely. she has a living room, bedroom and 1/2 bath, hardwood floors and everything. she's 76 and while some people aren't old at that age, maw-maw is. she's mostly ok health wise, but she has a bit of undiagnosed dementia.

yesterday we also, finally, go to hang out with my bro and SIL, gameboy and puddin. i cannot believe how much puddin has grown. she'll be six months next month and it's been more than a month since i'd seen her. she's making all the cute baby noises, is sturdier, though she was holding her head up before she even came home from the hospital. she's eating baby food and everything : )

the hubs and i took naps, both days : ) i love naps. naps rule. the girl is watching father of the bride two right now--the one where the mom is pregnant at the same time the daughter is pregnant. after being w/ puddin yesterday and seeing this--ah, it does make me want another sweet baby of my own. but the naps...couldn't really take naps with a baby. and i do so love sleeping through the night.

so, my mom sent me a job posting the other day. it's sort of in my field, writing, for the school system. at first i was like, hells yeah that would be cool. and then i started thinking about the things i like about my job, despite the fact that i hate my job. the pros? no travel first of all. that's probably the biggest pro. escaping the uncertainty of my job also would be a plus. possibly more money would be an awesome plus. i think the insurance is comparable. cons--as much as i don't like certain things about my job, it is incredibly flexible. for example, late friday afternoon i found out the plumbers are coming tomorrow to (hopefully) fix the leak in our house. i checked out a laptop and can work from home, no biggie. come in at 9? 9:30? no biggie. need to take a half day just because, also, no biggie. kids need to come in to work w/ me for the day? no biggie. i don't have someone breathing down my neck (boss wise) day to day--though when they do start paying attention they are brutal and crazy and tie me up in stressful knots. oh, another con--i'd be working in the same building (i think) as my mom.

anyway, i'm going to send in my resume, doesn't hurt to see what it's all about right?

Friday, September 26, 2008

observations from an undecided

before i share my observations of tonight's presidential debate i should point a few things out. i consider myself an independent. i have historically voted for both republicans and democrats, depending on the year and the issues. i am not politically minded at all. i am not passionate about it. i admittedly do not have a thorough understanding of all of the issues/ins and outs/etc. i am married to a passionate republican and am friends with several passionate democrats and republicans. i hear, from both sides, their ideas and arguments for their respective candidate.

i say all of this because i think it is important, before reading my observations, that i went into this as unbiased and neutral as probably anyone i know. i had no preconceived ideas.

having said that--here are my observations:

i was really bothered by the fact that obama kept referring to mccain as john while mccain referred to obama as senator obama. i think obama showed disrespect in doing so and i think it was planned.

i think obama seemed more flustered and angry than mccain.

several times obama called mccain by the wrong name; he caught himself, but still, twice he did it.

i was working crossword puzzles while watching it so i listened rather than watched and just based on voice inflections, etc. obama sounded unsure and nervous. mccain sounded (the tone and quality of his voice) like reagan.

in my opinion mccain came off as more confident and more qualified.

i think the vp debates are going to be ugly. very ugly. i do not think palin will do as well as mccain did.

today i could not help but be reminded of the last season of west wing (go ahead, laugh, in my rose-colored glasses world, politics would be like the west wing and matt santos would be our new president). anyway, i am reminded of jed Bartlet calling santos and vinnick into the oval office during the final days of their campaigns and telling them the country was about to go to war. he was laying a huge problem in their laps, one that one of them, as president, would have to deal with and solve. much like bush is getting ready to hand a huge problem over to obama or mccain. i am also reminded of the awesome debate between santos and vinnick--a REAL (ok, yes it was tv but in my idyllic world it was awesome) debate where the nominees actually talked to each other and the rhetoric was gone and it was two people and their issues. i wish tonight's debate would have been more like that.

she's got the power

yes, gentle readers, it IS 6:58 am. i have just come back from walking the girl to the bus stop.

she was up, ready and making her lunch when i finally started listening to my snooze button this morning. i made coffee, inhaled some and then we walked--in the dark, drizzle--to the bus stop.

the girl is a morning person. she was telling me about science class, the one i was sure would bore her to tears cos the teacher is like ben stein. they are studying earth worms. they're going to look at them under microscopes today. she's the only one in the class that pays attention. "half of them don't listen, half of them are talking to each other and then there's me." ok, so her math skills aren't the greatest.

then we hear the bus coming. i hand her her viola and before i can say i love you, as i do every morning, she leans up to kiss me and says i love you. i almost started bawling right there. what a gift. what power she has over me. what power she has to get my day started off great--even if it is hellaciously early.

my kids are incredibly affectionate, even now thank god. but the girl has had rules about what i can and can't do in any near-school or school situations since about the 4th grade. and kissing has always been off the table--for god's sake, people might see!

so, this morning was a gift.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

our summer--a photo essay

this is the cupcake-shaped cake the hubs made tonight. he rocks. he's the baker in the house and he got this cool new pan this summer--this is the first fruit of his labor.

here's the boy on our beach trip--fighting the tide

van gogh made w/ jelly beans at the ripley's museum--yummy and cool

three of my favorite things--the boy, the girl and the ocean

morning on myrtle beach

prime example of the kids' hell hole rooms

our first night on the beach

early morning

a hermit (?) crab the girl found on the beach


the girl's cat--princess meow meow

did i mention the girl likes webkinz?

pilot mountain--a natural nc wonder

sweet serenity


Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. -- George Eliot

fires in the firepit
crunching leaves
a nip in the air
shorter days
cool nights
and mums
hot chocolate
and roasting marshmallows
the smell of winter waiting in the wings
wearing jackets
and putting away flip flops
cozy sweaters
the smell of burning leaves

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

and the results are in...sort of

there's one day left on the poll but i think all that intended on voting have voted.

so four people swallow, one pulls out and one avoids it like the plague : )

i have to confess, i have been all of those at one time or another.

honestly, when the hubs and i were dating and i did that for the first time (and for quite awhile after) i didn't really have a clue what i was doing or how to do it well and i certainly didn't enjoy it.

i think too that fellatio has a "dirty" connotation to it and i wonder why that is. it's not like anyone ever talked to me about it--i think my mom would have rather poked her eyes out than talk to me about sex, let alone oral sex. i wonder if i'll be that way with the girl? what about you. when you have those talks with your daughters, will oral sex be a part of it?

since the poll results are anonymous i will not out myself as to how i voted but i would say if a drug company could figure out a way to make the out-cum taste better they would make a crazy, crazy amount of money that would put viagra makers to shame. and honestly, w/ the viagra and other helpers--who needs a 4 hour erection? for real?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

i've seen fire and i've seen rain*

today i had a reconcilliation with a friend i've been out of touch with for several years and i couldn't be happier.

aside from the hubs she is one of my oldest friends. being an army brat i don't have a friend that i've known since elementary school. my best friends came from high school. this friend's nickname is suzone. she and this other girl and i were an inseparable trio from 10th grade on. we had almost every class together and we were best buds. she was the smartest of the three of us. she was an only child, born to her parents much later in life and her mom was actually the one in the army--a colonel and a nurse and her dad was retired from the navy. her life/lifestyle always intrigued me because it was so different from mine. suzone and i kept in touch more so than i did with the other friend. we stayed close through college, though we were often half a country apart. she was my maid of honor in my wedding. we were great, dear friends. she is perhaps one of the most sarcastic people i have ever met in my life and i loved her for that.

several years ago we had a falling out. at the time i didn't really accept that i'd done anything wrong, but i had. i didn't communicate w/ her like i should have. i was going through a horrible time in just about all aspects of life and she was going through an important, special time (getting married) and i wasn't there for her.

after that we didn't talk much. i was hurt and she was hurt. once in a while we would send a christmas card or something, but no meaningful contact for almost a decade. this spring she sent me a post card that she was expecting. i was so happy. i emailed her and we had a brief back and forth. she emailed me, after all these years, on my birthday wishing me a happy birthday and she sent me pictures of her beautiful baby boy. we started emailing again. it was good but today i finally apologized for hurting her all those years ago. i never knew how or when to do it before. i explained myself and she accepted my apology and i think we very well could be on the road to rebuilding our friendship.

i'm in a different place in my life now than i was, obviously, 9-10 years ago. i've grown some, at least i like to think i have. these last two years especially i've changed. maybe realized i wasn't always right in all circumstances. i also have come to realize the importance of good friends and what real friendship is about.

*this song, for a variety of reasons, has always made me think about this particular friend, hence the title.

Monday, September 22, 2008

dentists, skepticism and house

both kids had dental appointments today. months ago when i rescheduled the boy's appointment i thought i was being incredibly...efficient...in having both of their appointments on the same day. they go to the same dentist. however, the boy was actually having work done and the girl's appt. was just a cleaning. the dentist is too far away for me to take her to school take him to the dentist, leave, get her from school and take her to the dentist. so, both kids missed school today for dental appointments that ended up both being finished by 11am. lol

the boy was ready to go to school to finish out the day despite the fact that the side of his face was still numb and he hurled on the dentist at the end of his appointment. i said it was too late in the day and neither went to school. bad mommy. we came home, had lunch, had an appraiser out to look at the house (the hubs aka CFO is doing some creative financing) and then he went back to work and i took a nap : )

we used redbox for the first time today. do you have these? the dvd vending machines found at the grocery store? really? can it really be as cheap and easy as spending $1.07 to rent a dvd for the night and then putting it back in the vending machine? what a kick ass invention.

i am a total skeptic. i was checking my CK email today and there was an email from an assistant to an agency who works on stories for ABC's good morning america show. the person was doing research on grandparents playing favorites among the grandkids and she ran across a comment i posted on the muddled sage back in april. really? i'm not sure if i believe the email is real or a scam, but it was very detailed. but, we all know there is no way in hell i'd ever go on national tv for anything let alone to air my dirty family laundry. what would you do?

and, while i wait impatiently for the 4th season of LOST to come out on dvd so we can catch up, we have started watching house. the girl gets on tv kicks. first it was csi (and she can.not.wait for the new season to start--frankly, neither can i) and she moved to law & order. now it's house. frankly, i love all those shows too but house is a little more tame for her so i'm ok w/ that.

i had to sign a note for her for school saying that she can read any of the books in the school library she wants to. really? what the hell do they have in the library? anne rice writing as anne rampling? (her cinemax-like porn novels) the girl said they have some stephen king books in the library and she thinks that's why. really? i asked today how pride and prejudice is coming, she said it's boring. i thought it might be too much for her. unlike me at that age (who was devouring all the silhouette teen romances i could get my hands on, plus reading endless love and any other love story out there) the girl isn't into that type of thing. she has read the whole harry potter series no less than 10 times i'm sure. she likes fantasy type things. i'm trying to get through crime and punishment but it's not stephen king. of course it also is not the wizard's daughter, some piece of trash i was trying to read on my last plane trip. i love bodice rippers as much as the next person but they still have to be well written. and no matter how bad a book is i really do have to finish it--i just can't start a book and not finish it. however, i doubt i'll finish the wizard's daughter. oy vey it was blech.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

this is why i haven't written a novel

this quote is exactly why i'm scared to actually write a novel:

Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works. --virginia woolf

i don't know how to write a story that wouldn't sound autobiographical and if i wrote what i know i'd piss off and hurt about 3/4 of my family.

books and movies and cool products

the girl checked two books out at the school library friday. she's in the accelerated reading program and so there are requirements on which books she can read (to get tested on) for a grade for this program. she can't read anything below a 7th grade level. when school first started she checked out romeo & juliet. i was proud (though hell, i didn't read that for fun. we read it in english class). she read it twice (she says) and failed the test. i don't blame her. understanding shakespeare, on your own in 6th grade, is quite the challenge.

the two books she brough home friday? pride and prejudice (i heart jane austen) and crime and punishment. i have to be honest, i never read crime and punishment. though i am trying to now. i don't know that the girl will make it through this book. dostoyevsky must be an acquired taste. i'm trying. i did read and liked anna karenina (oops, that's tolstoy) it's just kinda...dry.

movies--we recently saw juno. i loved that movie. seriously. it was good. plus, allison janney (cj craig from west wing) played juno's step-mom and she kicked ass. i loved the dialog. loved justin batemen, though his character was not nice, i liked the character. it was just good.

products--i am not that brand loyal really, but there are some products i use religiously and have for years. i have curly hair. i tried tons of mousse/gel/etc. before i fell in love with aussie leave in conditioner mousse. it mostly keeps my hair from frizzing out, conditions it, doesn't leave it crunchy like other mousse and it smells good.

i've recently succombed to almay makeup. i don't wear a lot of makeup, just eyeliner, mascara and sometimes eye shadow and blush. i don't do foundation. i like almay cos they color code the makeup so you know what's right for your eye color.

do something nice for boobs

one of kristin's friends is doing something awesome on her blog. for each comment she gets on this particular post she is donating $9 to breast cancer research. she started out at $3 per post (one for her mom who's a survivor, one for herself cos she just had a scare and one for her little girl in the hopes that by the time she's an adult there will be a cure). her mom and husband also chipped in $3 per post. when i just posted she had 201 comments. go. comment. i don't know her either but i commented. it's a good thing.

though, thank god, none of the women in my family have had breast cancer (and i feel myself up and get check ups and started getting mammograms) three good friends of mine have had it.

my first boss at my first real job became a very good friend/mentor/surrogate mother in a way. i've written about julia before. she was an incredible woman in so many ways. she was the most truly spiritual person i've ever met. anyway, it was around the summer after i had the girl that julia discovered she had a lump. i don't actually know when she found it because whenever it was she didn't know anything for awhile. by the time she started treatment it was spreading. i don't know how long treatments normally last, but it seems like she was always in treatment and it went on for months. she came to the girl's first birthday party. she knew then she was dying (she was in her 50s). she had one son, her pride and joy, and her husband, who she'd been married to for about 30 years. she died that april; the cancer had spread to her brain. she had everything, i mean everything planned out. she didn't want to burdern her husband and son with anything. she wrote her own obit, she planned her funeral down to the last detail and she just took care of everything. sort of how she was in life.

two other very good friends, who are a couple, also had breast cancer. they both went through rigorous treatment; mastectomies, etc. one had breast reconstruction surgery the other didn't. though both have been in remission for a few years now, one's immune system was severly compromised and has suffered a variety of issues since. however, they are both cancer free now and are two wonderful women (i just wish they lived closer and i saw them more than once a year).

so, go comment on cass's blog; feel yourself up and if you find something go.to.the.doctor.now (do not wait) or feel up the women (within reason guys) in your life. help a boob.

oh yeah, there's also a new poll up for those of you who aren't too chicken shit : )

Friday, September 19, 2008

ahoy ye land lubbers

happy talk like a pirate day. Aside from just being a kick ass reason to talk like a pirate it's a good reason to post a picture of johnny depp (who, btw, will be playing mr. freeze in an upcoming batman movie--least that's the rumor. so, ok, that might be the only one of the new crop of batman movies i really want to see). and if this picture isn't enough? go to google images and google johnny. omg--seriously friends, that man should be illegal.

i feel like a scurvy dog today. i think as i'm getting older my periods are kicking my ass more. i know many, many women have suffered from the first day they started the dreaded curse; i am fortunate in that, for the most part, it was not kick ass bad. emotional? yes. uncomfortable? yes. i have not been without side effects, but the last year or so it's like my body is saying, ha ha muther fucker, you haven't suffered enough with this so lets throw in some extra cramping, increase the flow (have a spare mattress around?) and generally make the first two days as fuctastically crappy as possible. our work here is done.

however, last night we did go to tarjay. tarjay did happen to have m&ms on sale, 2-$4. i bought 2 bags of peanut butter m&ms. later i laid on the couch randomly flipping through the channels and watching nothing (while the hubs was busy checking out the economy on his laptap) and i ate 90% of the bag and then promptly fell into a sugar/period coma.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


i.want. desperately need some of these. now.

and, did you know m&ms now has premium m&ms??? i think the mocha and triple chocolate sound right up my alley.

peanut butter m&ms are the perfect blend of peanut butter yumminess and chocolate. seriously. some may TRY (and fail) to use those reese's pieces things as substitutes, but they are not. pieces are too flat, too....blah. i do have to give reese's credit though because they make my second favorite....these lovelies....

peanut butter and chocolate on the brain much? yes, why yes i do thank you very much. and happy first day of your period to you too beeeeooooottttcccch ; )

5:30---it's not getting better

i must confess, i thought this getting up at 5:30 am thing would start to get easier. ok, maybe i didn't really think that but i guess i hoped it would. let me tell you. it hasn't. the hubs and i have sort of started switching off though. sometimes he's the one that gets up and walks the girl to the bus stop, sometimes i do. this morning i did. it was foggy. it was early. the girl is a total trooper and so much more a morning person than i am.

i guess the benefit to this is that we get a few alone minutes, though really, carrying on a convo that early in the morning is quite the chore for me. i asked her about the boy she likes this morning. asked if he'd given her a definite answer about whether he liked her. it's not friday so there's no answer. boys are stupid.

she got on the bus; i traipsed back home. it was 6:45. the hubs and the boy were still asleep and i quickly calculated that i could technically sleep at least 20 minutes before i had to get the boy up and moving. so i did. i set the alarm; snuggled back into bed and slept another 20 mins : )

i even had time this morning to stop and get a venti, spiced pumpkin latte (cos i have gift cards from my bday dontcha know) on my way to work. ah...life IS good.

and here are a few funnies i got via email this morning. enjoy!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

positive attitude

things have been swirling around in my head these past few days to make me think i really should have a more positive attitude. or, at least be very very grateful.

a few things have conspired to put me in this mind set. one was this post kristin wrote about attitude adjustments. another is the fact that a friend and co-worker of mine has to put her mom in hospice care. she's an only child and is basically having to take care of this on her own. of course the state of the economy, and all of the doom and gloom in the news isn't helping matters.

it made me stop and think how good i have it. granted, the hubs' job right now is a colossal cluster fuck and very stressful. my job is fine, for now, but our company is up for sale and you never know what that means for your future. things are hectic, we have a lot on our plates over the next few weeks, but, big picture i've got it pretty good.

my kids are healthy (though both have dental appts. monday that are not going to be cheap) and while the boy is having some transitional issues and challenges w/ 3rd grade, he's doing ok. though we are by no means immune to the economy issues right now, we are in the best fiscal shape we've been in a long time (due to the hubs' money management; i can take no credit for any of that). my parents don't need hospice (though they could both totally use some psychiatric help). the hubs and i are pretty much in sync and even after almost 16 yrs we're still best friends and he knows how to rock my world.

i know there are bigger picture things going on (hurricanes, politics, economy, etc.) but there still are many, many things to be grateful for.

so---bock, bock, thanks easter bunny.

coming to a city near you, maybe

today my friend broad sent me a link to a news story about blogher coming to our area. fo-shizzle! apparently they're taking the thing on the road and touring six cities--scratch that, i read further and it said four cities had been cancelled (ours was one of them) but there will be a blogher in boston (i think) and dc.

broad and i talked about whether (if it were here) we'd attend and "out" ourselves if we did. i quickly said hells no. i would totally love to go to blogher, i'm sure i'd learn a lot and could actually put it to use for work. however, i could never, ever "out" myself. i'd feel so exposed. seriously folks, this is all for me. it's cheaper than therapy. it's an ego trip because i sometimes feel like i might be entertaining to a few people. and you know, it's fun and i love to write.

broad, however, could totally go to blogher and out herself cos she blogs about a specific topic (politics) and doesn't toss in a lot of homelife/personal stuff in there. i predict that in the next year or so broad could totally have a huge following (potentially make money on her blog) if she just had more traffic. and, whether you are politically minded or not (i am not) she's a good writer.

so, if you could, would you go to blogher? and, if you did, would you reveal yourself?

which are you?

i am going to make a general assumption that typically after a couple has sex, the guy rolls over and falls dead asleep and the girl would like to cuddle and/or chat. i base this assumption on nothing more than novels/movies/media, not from personal experience.

having said that--i should be a guy. cuddling/chatting are part of foreplay for me, not after. i would rather roll over and sleep. what about you?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

dueling laptops

we're sitting at the kitchen table. he with his blue laptop, me with my hot red one and the boy is beside us finishing his homework.

lord he has a lot of homework this year. seriously, for third grade he has a lot of homework. the girl typically gets her's done at daycare and has little left to do in the evenings. the boy is struggling this year. the hubs already got a call last week when i was out of town. the boy doesn't know when not to talk in class. he gets in trouble for it a lot. it was the same last year. however, last year i sort of chalked it up to the fact he had that whacked out teacher, seriously, she had a mental breakdown and was out the last quarter of the year.

i thought this year, especially since he's in AG and more challenged, that he'd settle down. nope, not so much. he's good in AG but in regular class, that's where he's getting in trouble.

both of my kids are incredibly smart (and i'm not bragging or making it up, they just are) but they are so very different. we have never, since day one, had any bit of trouble with the girl and school work/behavior. we've had the typical emotional/girl/friends/boys issues, but the teachers love her and she does well in everything. no behavior issues at all.

the boy? uh, first day of kindergarten he was in the principal's office. and the thing is, he doesn't get in trouble for being bad, being mean, being a bully or whatever. he just talks out of turn. all.the.time. his goal in life is to be the class clown.

back to the dueling laptops---i'm sitting here blogging and (quizzing the girl on her spelling--do you know what fakir is? a holy man---and, she's still chatty hyper cathy. omg it's killing me. ok, pause, i just had to help the boy w/ math homework. i'll wait while you quit laughing (cos some of you know i'm sooooo not the math wizard. even 3rd grade math. subtraction, with big numbers and borrowing? yeah, i explained the hell out of that : )) and the hubs is balancing the check book.

i have to confess--he took over doing the bills this year and omg it's awesome. really. it took a bit to get used to it cos now i was the one saying, oh btw, is there any money in checking cos i need this or that. but i got over that. plus, seriously, the math thing? and numbers and all? i didn't do so well with the bills. combine my mad math skilz with my habitual procrastination and you can just imagine how much i hated paying bills. but the hubs totally rocks at it and has actually made and saved us money this year.

i think my brother misses me : ) not only did he call me before i got to work and emailed me he also called me at the end of the day. awwwwwwwww, isn't that sweet?? no seriously, i think i'm his favorite sister. bwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaa, like he had another freakin' choice right? he he. i am soo very much hoping either this weekend or the following weekend we can see them. it's not like we talk every single day, but my SIL reads the blog and she and i typically talk at least once a week on the phone. usually at least once or twice a month either they're over here or we're at their house but lately, man we haven't seen each other. i miss them. and of course the girl asks just about every day when are we going to see puddin'.

13 minutes until the kids go to bed. sweet relief. i'd totally forgotten how crazy week nights are when school is going on. dinner and home work and baths and all the talking etc.? whew, i'm ready for 9pm. i guess that is the ONE good thing about summer, we come home from work and don't have to worry about anything except dinner (yeah, they bathe in the summer, but you know, it's not like rush to get everything done like when school's going on).

oh, and a special shout out to by dear friend big t. remember i told you she had a bad car accident this summer? today she had outpatient surgery on her elbow. ugh. they removed bone fragments, ew. however, her doc said after this and some therapy she should have her full range of motion back, which was seriously in question. so that's a good thing.

total inequality

i can't keep quiet any longer. this issue, this inequality issue, has been plaguing me. all. afternoon.

do you realize there are hardly any female animal cartoons? i'll give you a few minutes to let that sink in. (tapping fingers, twirling hair). unkay. have you thought of any?


i KNOW! can you believe it? the animal cartoon character world is dominated by males. the few paltry ones i (with the help of some worried friends and co-workers) came up with are ariel (the cat on the smurfs--which led to the discussion of whether smurfs are animals? i don't think so), the cat that always tries to run away from pepe le pew and petunia pig (porky's gal).

for the record i did not include disney (minnie, etc.) or any disney movie characters.

wtf us up with this inequality?

and just in case you are wondering wtf i'm smoking today...nothing. i'm at work hello! sweet t and i got into an email discussion about cartoons. i KNOW--high brow stuff that is. it started w/ family guy and how we love brian and stewie. then she said wouldn't it be cool if there was a show w/ all the cartoon characters--garfield, brian, cow and chicken, ren & stimpy, etc. and i got to looking at the list and...no girls.

i think there is an unfulfilled cartoon niche out there. damn i wish i could draw.

you know you love it

***this is one of the many reasons i think i have a cool as shit brother (even though he's 6 yrs younger and SOOOO much more immature than i am). he emailed this this morning and left a voicemail for me saying brown chicken brown cow (remember the joke from a little while back?)

Monday, September 15, 2008

schweet, a second monday post

gawd i totally suck monkey balls on post titles. however, what IS a good title for a post that is really just random drivel?

the SIL asked why another piano (as in we rearranged the den and now can fit a piano in there). let me explain.

we have a den (larger) and a living room (smaller). we spend 95% of our time in the den. when we moved into this house 6 years ago (before that we lived in a trailer--aka mobile home for those who put on airs) we bought a piano from one of my friends. it looked good in the living room and i had delusions that perhaps one of the kids would take lessons. it's an antique piano. the hubs is obsessed with LOVES antiques and generally anything old that he gets for a deal.

my grandma will soon be moving in with my aunt and uncle and she will not have room for all of her furniture there. she has a piano. it's the piano my dad and aunt took lessons on. it's the piano i took lessons on (briefly, very briefly). it's the piano that has always been in their living room. it's sentimental to me. and, it seems nobody else in the family has room for it so i might just get it.

now--for those of you who know the hubs in real life---he's well...a pack rat. he likes collecting things. he really likes the piano we have. so, it seems as if we might have two pianos at some point. and, as of right now, nobody in the house that plays. : )

if we win the lottery the hubs will quit his job and start a junk shop i mean antique shop : ) he said he would be fred sanford, only he wouldn't keep the stuff at our house.

halloween (my favorite holiday!) is right around the corner. do you have any awesome costume ideas? for adults and kids. although i think the boy wants to be wolverine or one of the x-men. i guess it would be too dangerous to bind sharp pointy objects to his fingers huh?

so chatty cathy the girl started talking at the bus stop at 6:30 am today (have i mentioned i do not do mornings well?) and picked right back up at the end of the day. her conversation this evening, aside from reporting that she studies better when she's bent over backwards on the footstool w/ her head hanging down because all the blood rushes to her brain, was that there is a new boy on the scene. lord help us.

the girl is my complete opposite when it comes to boys. when i was her age, and older, actually always, if there was a boy i liked i was loathe to tell him. i never ever made the first move (which brought up another story i'll get to in a sec). the girl, however, finds a boy she likes, talks with him a bit and then lowers the L bomb. as in, i like you. right there, in plain english for all to see and leaving herself wide open for rejection. so, she and this boy, who are just friends, she tells him she kinda likes him. he says he kinda likes her too but he'll let her know by friday. wtf is up with that?

so we're sitting around the table and i tell her, uh, girl, you need to stop being the one that makes the first move. the boys should come to you. (outdated info? i don't know.) i just don't like her making the first move. then the hubs says i made the first move on him. as if.

i think i've told this story before. we met in germany (both army brats) when one of the neighborhood girls introduced us. i was a smart ass right off the bat (the hubs was the BMOC) and i didn't know any better. so, he made it his mission to get me back. he fixed me up w/ a younger guy, unbeknownst to me at the time, and meanwhile the hubs and i became great friends. my mom even liked him and told me so. so, as a friend i told the hubs, you know what my mom said? she said i should date you (as in can you believe she said that?) and i said you were too old (3 yrs older) and she said that didn't matter. the hubs says i was coming on to him. i say i was just talking as a friend and relating the incredulous news my mom had laid at my feet. he swears, to this day, i was hitting on him. yeah right. he fixed me up w/ that younger guy and then realized he wanted me for himself and moved in all smooth like. i was naive, never dated, never done anything and he was the more experienced, more manipulative of the two of us. of course i was not hitting on him! sheesh.


as in mundane.
first day back in the office after the week from hell. frankly friends, after weeding through what must have been 500 kabillion emails (and deleting 90% of them) i have done little else than catch up on reading blogs and start gathering ideas for christmas presents. yes, i've been a slack ass.

i don't have anything wonderful to expound upon.

i might lose weight soon. apparently they are remodeling the bathrooms on our floor at work. they will be under construction until november. really? how the fuck long does it take to remodel a bathroom w/ four stalls? when the hubs did ours a year or so ago it might have taken him a couple of weeks. that was just mainly working on the weekends. granted, it was one toilet, one sink, but surely there isn't just one guy working on these bathrooms. it's amazing how often you really have to pee and that you stop and think about it because you have to visit another floor to do so. so, i'll either lose a few pounds or get a bladder infection cos i'm too lazy to go to the bathroom.

the hubs and i changed the den around yesterday. the process was frustrating but i like the results. the kids were pretty useless. not only did they not really help much at all but the girl came to me a few times wondering when we were going to make cookies (really, cos i'm just sitting her twiddling my thumbs) and then a few other times asking when i was going to dye her hair blue. (it's a blue wash-out rinse and we just did her tips).

and just a hint--if you're rearranging a room and you have some RTA furniture (you know, the kind you have to freaking build yourself?) well, it doesn't move well. we have two cabinets on either side of the big screen tv. the hubs thought he'd just move them (with all the dvds, cds, electronics inside) w/ his dolly. smart idea, that is if it were really furniture. RTA doesn't move so well. so, he finagled it somehow and for now it is standing, but you can only open the door so far and don't be surprised if it comes tumbling down like the little pigs house : ) otherwise, the room looks good. and....there's room in there now for my grandma's piano if we actually get it.

it's supposed to be in the 60s here tomorrow and i cannot wait. i love fall, bring it on. i'm ready for long sleeves and cozy nights and fires in the fireplace and crunching leaves and snuggly socks and cocoa and roasting marshmallows in the back yard.

ok, i just came up with this half assed theory---tell me what you think.

i think that people who do not have the highest self confidence (bad body image) tend to like fall/winter/spring more so than summer because summer means skimpier clothes and bikinis (for some people) etc. in the cooler months you can hide under comfy clothes. i just came up with that on the fly so it could totally be off base.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

oy vey i hate shopping

today we went out and got the boy a guitar and he will soon start taking lessons. it's an electric guitar. yes, we have lost our fucking minds. a guitar and a viola in the same house. i really might have to start taking medication.

after that we went to the mall. we do not go to the mall. seriously, in the last 11 years (since the girl was born) we might have been in a mall maybe 5 times. i hate malls. i never got into the whole mall thing (perhaps because i didn't live in the states when this retail phenom started and because shopping really isn't my thing). we went because the girl is the exact opposite of me---loves shopping and, though she's only been in one a handful of times, she thinks malls are cool. i think this is because her friends are mall rats and she thinks she should be one too.

this mall trip was a perfect example of how the girl is on the life fence. what shops did she want to visit? build a bear and abercrombie. i think she assumed we (the parental units aka pocketbook) were going to buy her a build a bear. uh, fuck no. then we ventured into abercrombie. hooookayyy. i have to admit, i've never been in one of those stores. hello, perfume much? i'm all for ambiance and love some good smelling stores but seriously? i think they pipe in the abercrombie scent in (and yes, there is such a thing). it's dark, like a swanky, romantic, candle lit restaurant. you're greeted by a huge, i'm talking mural size, black and white shot of a hot young torso. yeah, just what my 11 year old girl needs to see. we walk through the store and i start checking price tags. i knew they were pricey but really? $20 for a freaking short sleeve polo shirt? for what? the moose on the front? really? dear lord. i just can't bring myself to pay that for a polo. the girl so wants something from that store.

after that store she found a kiosk that had flip flops. not just any flip flops but rainbow flip flops (that's the brand). flip flops---$48! they're flip fucking flops! who the fuck is buying this stuff for their kids??? i'm sorry, even if we were rolling in the dough i just don't know that i could spend the money on things like that. am i wrong?

i know i wanted jordache jeans and vans and izods when i was in high school (never paid attention to that stuff in middle school) but i also didn't get those things and i survived. but man---kids (at least mine) totally know how to make you feel so guilty when they don't get the things they want. i'm toying w/ the idea of getting her something from abercrombie (on sale) for christmas. oh, and what else? she wants a vera bradley purse. holy shit.

i've told her on some of these things that if she wants to save half i'll pay the other half. uh, yeah, right. once she gets enough money in her pocket she's searching for the newest web kinz.

Friday, September 12, 2008

i sort of wasted a day

i took off work today. i really was spent from the week out of town.

i got up, got the kids off to school and then blissfully went back to bed and slept like a rock until noon. i was out cold. then i dozed off and on until about 2pm.

i got up, cleaned a little (things got a tad bit out of hand this time around. typically the hubs is like superman--taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, etc. but this trip things fell a part a bit) picked the kids up from afterschool care and stopped by the grocery store. we're having spaghetti for dinner. for some reason i've been jonsing for it.

the boy is rambling around with nothing to do. he can't watch tv. apparently there was an incident this week. so bad that the teacher called the hubs. the boy does not know how to keep his mouth shut. he talks out of turn all the time. he talks when he's not supposed to, etc. so after that incident the hubs told him if he had to flip his card (three flips gets the phone call i think) then he'd lose a night of tv. so, no tv for the boy tonight.

can we talk about gas? here on the east coast, particularly nc, sc, ga and fla we're getting screwed w/ the gas because they've shut down the colonial pipeline thanks to the hurricanes. the wholesale cost is above $4 and today at the two stations near our house people were lined up for $3.66 and $3.79. i was in line in one and the station ran out of gas. hmph.

hopefully i'll get back up to speed and write something a little more exciting than this post : ) zzzzzzzzzzzz and over the weekend i hope to catch up on all of your blogs as well.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

homeward bound

it's my last night of my last out of town work trip for the year. THANK GOD!

i hope my absence doesn't mean i've lost all my readers : )

so--here's a brief run down of my week:

6:30 AM flight saturday. yes friends, i had to get up at 4:30 in the morning. oh, did i mention it was pouring down rain? yep. but it was fine. our connection was through dc--dulles (isn't that the ronald reagan airport?). i called the hubs from there--reagan is his hero of course. i also got him a mccain t-shirt in the gift shop and a little something something from the other side of the aisle for my good friend broad ; )

we got to vegas around noon and had an event at 4:30. after that i drug our crew to the german restaurant here. most of them are not the german fan i am, but they humored me anyway. one of my friends and co-workers told the waitress it was my bday (a few days off but they didn't card me) and so i got a shot of yeagermeister and a spanking. yes, i was totally embarrassed and will seek retribution on said friend. i started my retribution afterwards when we went to a cvs to get snacks for our rooms. i loudly told her that the vagisil and lice shampoo were on aisle 5. if you have any other suggestions on making her life a little uncomfortable (but in a friendly, ribbing way) please share.

sunday was a full, long day. this week at the trade show has involved a lot of walking. the convention center is two floors. 1 million square feet of booths. it is 1/2 a mile from the front of the convention center to the back. i figure i walked at least two miles each day.

monday night we had dinner at one of my other fave restaurants here, mon ami gabi in the paris hotel. you can sit on the patio there and watch the fountain at the bellagio--the only good thing about vegas. so our little work group was sitting there and i think i witnessed my first real spotting of a vegas call girl. this couple walked in and i swear the girl couldn't have been more than 18 (though she drank champagne) and the man was at least 65. she was wearing this shiny, showgirl green dress and when we overheard her speak we deduced that she was russian. ok, i'm not stupid. i know this type of thing happens. i know there are hookers and call girls and mail order brides. i'm sure i've seen them on the street here. but, to have one seated not 5 feet from you and realize how very young she was and how old he was compared to her, it just turned my stomach and depressed me.

last night and tonight i got room service and just vegged. my brain is fried. i don't want to speak to anyone since i've spent the week being "on" and being nice and chatty and all that stuff you do at a trade show.

it's hard to call home from here w/ the time difference, but the other night i did manage to hear the girl playing her viola over the phone. she said it was eidelweiss, which i think is incredibly cool. i could sort of even make out that that is what she was playing.

aside from it being a rough, demanding week for me, i think this trip was rough on the hubs. before i go any further i have to say that he is probably the only man i know that totally handles everything, by himself, when i'm out of town. so many of my other friends who have kids and travel have a parent or friend who helps out while they're gone, or even ships the kids off to grandma's house. not my hubs. he does it all on his own.

when we first had our kids i wasn't travelling, but when i joined this company almost 7 years ago the travel began. he's been so incredible about it. really. about a year ago he started travelling but his trips are generally one night, maybe two, unlike mine that range from 2-5.

i think i'm starting to ramble.

i've seen some interesting things this week though. the trade show is for baby/youth products. i'm talking everything from bibs and breast pumps to cribs and bedding. it's amazing all of the baby gadgets that are out now that didn't even exist even 8 years ago when my baby was a baby. the oddest (and most useless in my opinion) thing i saw was this gadget, about the size of a postage stamp, that you attach to diapers to let you know when the kid pees or poops. really? yes. it monitors the diaper every 8 seconds and beeps and a light flashes when some excrement occurs. what a crock of shit...literally.

and you know what else amazes me? the kids and babies here. the night we went to the paris for dinner we walked across the street to watch the fountain up close. it was like 10 pm here. there were people pushing sleeping babies in strollers. wtf?

Friday, September 5, 2008

vegas bound

ok my lovies---i'm headed out to vegas at the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m. tomorrow (unless hanna has her way with the east coast)for a trade show.

i will have a computer with me and will attempt to blog, but it's going to be a busy week and it could be hit or miss.

the good thing about this trip is that it's my last one for 2008. YEAH!

before broad has a conniption fit i should clarify that the views expressed about palin in an earlier post were those of the hubs (which she should not be surprised by).

i don't speak my political views mainly because i don't know enough to speak intelligently about politics and because i don't want people to try to make me see their point of view on it. i will gladly talk about how i feel on certain issues, but not about who i'd vote for. frankly, i'm not thrilled with any of my choices, as i've said.

jean-etic material

i have three pair of jeans.

my favorite pair of jeans really shouldn't be worn out of the house, but sometimes i do on the weekends. they look almost white they're so faded. they have a brownish (i think it used to be red) paint stain on a back pocket. they have numerous holes. they are sooooo comfortable. i feel younger when i wear them, like a rebel or something.

my every day pair is comfortable. i don't LOVE them. they fit well. i can wear them to work on occassion. they have some give to them for those days when it seems nothing you put on has any give if you know what i mean. the hubs says my ass looks good in them.

then there is the pair i am wearing today because the every day pair is in the laundry. they are fucking too tight. i'm quite certain i will pass out by the end of the day if i sit too long. though i didn't have to lie down on the bed to get them zipped, they are snug. i not only have a muffin top going on i think i've got the whole damn bakery going on. too bad it's not like an actual cake where you could just lop off the excess, cos if that was the case, that would be cool. if i pushed this muffin top up into my bra (which i'm sure would hurt like hell) i'd go from a d/dd (depending on the make of the bra) to an e easily.

and you know the fucked up thing? they're all the same damn size pants!

**************non sequitor alert
so--we got the girl's viola last night. we're renting it. she's stoked.

the boy is jonesing badly for a guitar. i think we're going to get him one. a guitar and guitar lessons.

i'm really trying to be supportive and positive about this and not think like a parent that thinks, oh great, one more phase they'll go through of wanting to do something for 5 months and then on to the next thing after i've spent a butt load of money. i'm trying not to think that way. i'm trying to think how fucking cool it is that my kids want to learn to play an instrument and how this could be the beginning of a life long creative passion for them and how i love that a lot. plus, they could be famous musicians some day : ) he he

for the last two days i have not heard the alarm at 5:30 am. i think it may be broken. seriously. ok, maybe not. i did hear it yesterday but kept pushing snooze. this morning, i looked at the clock at 5 am (which is really 4:40 cos i fake my self out by setting it 20 mins fast) and thought, cool, i can sleep another 30 minutes (which is totally the best kind of sleep for me because i feel like i'm stealing it, ya, i know weird). the next thing i know i'm looking at the clock and it's 6:34 (around the same time i got up yesterday). so, this isn't a HUGE ordeal. the girl misses the bus but we still have time for her to get ready and for me to drive her to school. i do not mind this actually. i have a quirky fear of them riding the bus anyway. no seat belts, i don't know the drivers, there are distractions, lots of kids, etc.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


men sitting on the fence about the election just got off...in a BIG way.

palin is a milf.

this post will send broad over the top.

the hubs just commented:
you know how clinton used to appear on talk shows etc. playing his sax? i think palin should appear in playboy.

he also thinks palin and cindy mccain should have some girl on girl action.

and, lest you think it is just the hubs who is this bad--my brother is too. i was talking to him on the phone tonight and he said he just decided to vote for mccain because palin is hot.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

true confessions

i have to confess an addiction.

i have an addictive nature. when i find something i like i can't get enough of it. it consumes me. i want it.all.the.time. this is not a shock or surprise to me, and it shouldn't be to those of you who've been reading for any amount of time.

i could totally be an alcoholic except i don't like puking. but that's not my confession. (not liking to puke is also why i prefer mary jane.)

i'm addicted to blogging friends. i want to write them. i want to read them.

although i had a great weekend with the family at the beach, i had no internet access. i didn't really notice until monday on the way home. i couldn't wait to get online and read all of your posts and post some of my own.

i've "met" some cool people online. i feel connected to them. i read them every day, i know about their kids, their struggles with parenting, their good times, their bad. it helps me not feel like such a fuck up to realize that my kids aren't the only ones who don't eat what they should or clean their rooms like they should. it helps me realize that i'm not the only one out there who sometimes fucks up as a parent/spouse/friend/etc.

since i started blogging there have been two blogs i read on a regular basis (and totally enjoyed) that disappeared. i always wondered what happened to them; why they quit blogging; what's happened to them since; if they've started new blogs. it's like something left undone.

i get excited when i find new blogs. sometimes i find them through other people's blog comments, sometimes just through random searches.

i think blogging is perhaps the best example of how small the world actually is. though we're all individuals we share so many of the same thoughts and challenges, regardless of where we live.

blogging is also a huge writing outlet for me. my job pretty much stiffles my creativity, not that my posts are by any means creative, but they allow me to express myself. i feel blogging has brought me closer to some of my irl friends i don't get to see very often. for example, one friend in particular (who needs to start her own damn blog) and i are in contact now more than ever, and i think a lot of it has to do with her reading my blog. we have not worked together for...dear lord...more than 8 years? we always kept in touch, but not as frequently as i do now.

do you find yourself thinking in blog posts? i do. i can be doing something totally random and i'm already thinking about what my blog post will be. or, something will happen and i'm all---omg i can't wait to post about that.

i can breathe in a small town (but not so easily now)

one of the reasons i've always liked the town we live in is because it is smallish and has always felt safe and...i don't know, small-townish. people know people, there isn't a lot of crime, etc. there's a quaint main street, some historic buildings and we have a spring folly downtown and they're building a botanical garden that i cannot wait for : )

things have changed though. they've been changing i suppose, but recently things were really brought to light, at least for me.

a couple of weeks ago a 40 year old father was shot in the parking lot of a restaurant in our town. a place we eat every couple of months or so. i found out about it from a friend at work who also lives in my town and knows the family. apparently the father's high school kid was called out by a gang at his school. they threatened they would come to his house if he didn't meet them in this parking lot, it was late saturday night. on the way there the kid called his dad and he met him there. 20 gang members were there and they fired shots at the dad and his kid. they hit the dad but he was able to push his son back into his car so he could get away. someone must have heard the gunshots and called the police and the dad hung on long enough to give them some information. he died later that night at the hospital.

after murdering this man, gang members called the kid and said it wasn't over and they were coming for him and the rest of his family. four gang members were arrested and are in jail. the family keeps getting harrassing phone calls. they have police camped out at their house. from what i understand there is a younger daughter at home as well.

our town refuses to admit this is a gang related incident, though the principal at the high school knows it and has admitted it. and, it's not one gang or a small gang. it's a serious, large gang (nationwide gang).

the widow and her children have left to visit relatives for awhile but have been advised that when they come back to town it would be best to homeschool the kids.

a 40 year old dad was shot and killed for trying to protect his son by kids who had no real reason to do so. i don't know the back story; i think the son had argued w/ a few of the gang members the week before or something. and though the crime itself is bad enough, the fact that not 30 minutes after they shot and killed his father they're calling the kid threatening him and keep it up throughout the weeks, throughout his dad's funeral (which had security up the wazoo). i can't comprehend that. i don't understand that level of hatred or evilness or total disregard for human life. that's shit you see on csi or law and order people, not something that happens in your own small town.

it almost immobilized me with fear to think of my kids going to high school. granted, the school this is happening in isn't the school my kids would go to, but it can happen anywhere. the hubs said he's seriously thinking about a local private catholic school (though we aren't catholic) but i'm not sure that's the answer either.

here i thought the first day of middle school was hard--i have so much (bad) to look forward to and worry about as they get older.

these are the things about parenting nobody ever tells you. the fear that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to protect them or shield them, you really don't have much control at all. you can raise them right, you can have great communication, whatever it takes, and still, something as random as gang violence can change lives forever.

musically inclined (and other odd notes)

the girl signed up for orchestra this year. i may have mentioned this. she took chorus and recorder chorus in elementary but wants to expand her horizons now that she's grown up and in middle school. last night we started the hunt for a viola. why the viola you may ask? hmmm. well, we told her no way on the cello or bass (or baaasss as she is wont to say). she picked the viola over the violin because there are fewer people playing that so more chance for her to be in performances (always thinking ahead that girl).

the boy has decided he wants a guitar and he wants to learn to play this. although i have a soft spot in my heart for guitar playing, i'm a bit worried that this is just a phase (actually for both of them) and once he gets the guitar it will soon be forgotten.

i guess i can't say much---i took piano lessons for all of a few months in 3rd grade. however, it was mainly because we were living at my grandparents house that year and they had a piano--not like my folks had to buy one; which, would not have happened.

a wtf moment---i got my high lights done and hair cut on friday. not one person made one comment (good or bad) about either. granted, it's not drastic and it's not a different look, but hello, my hair is no longer half brown! the hubs didn't use hair spray on his hair yesterday and no less than FOUR people commented on how great it looked. WTF???

remember the friend i had the arguement with and hadn't heard from in about 6 weeks? well, a week or so ago she called and i went to her house at lunch. i thought we'd finally talk through this situation. we chit chatted. granted, i was on my lunch hour, her baby was fussy and her husband ended up coming home a bit early, but she said one thing about it and then didn't even talk about it. guys, i know i can be a total TOTAL bitch, but for me the issue isn't resolved. actually at this point i don't know that there is a resolution. she's called me once since then and the conversation was as if nothing ever happened on her part. i'm not a hard ass; i'm not evil, but when someone is supposed to be your best friend you don't just ignore them for 6 weeks and then start up again like everything is hunky dory and not think there's been some impact on your relationship.

the thing is, i have this weird ability to turn my emotions off in these situations. once someone has hurt me badly i build a wall around my feelings and i'm done. i will be nice, i will be friendly and to a degree there will still be a relationship, but it will never be the same and regardless of what gets said or done i can't go back to how i felt beforehand. i no longer invest anything in that relationship. i did this with my parents and my sister years ago.

Monday, September 1, 2008

happy labor day

oh friends, i'm tired but feel i have neglected you long enough. it wasn't by choice mind you. we had no internet connection this weekend at the beach.

here's a brief run down, i'll try to post some pics and be all blogalicious and exciting next time. just. too. tired. tonight.

we had 1/2 a work day friday and i actually got out of there at noon (which has been rare since i took this job 2 years ago). i got my oil changed (and saw the news clip that mccain had picked the gov. from alaska as his vp. i'm intrigued, but still not moved by either candidate.) and then got my hair done. just a trim and my roots hidden again : ) the thing i love about getting my hair done is getting it washed. i now totally understand why little old ladies get their hair done once a week--it's for the head washing i'm guessing. i'm totally going to do that when i'm old.

we left for the beach after the hubs got home from work and got there about 10pm. the hotel...well...it was one we won't go back too. the hubs has a lot of hotel points from his work trips but had never stayed at this particular one. it was...sad. anytime a hotel has "econo" in the name, stay away. i'm not a snob, really i'm not. i'm spoiled i know by the hotels we stay in for work. but this was a sad hotel. but, you don't go to the beach to hang out in the hotel right? right. there were no roaches or anything nasty.

friday night we walked on the beach and the kids played a bit in the waves. our weekend had begun.

saturday morning we got up bright and early (have not slept late since last weekend and will not get to again until the weekend of the 14th), had breakfast and hit the beach. it was so gorgeous. a bit warm but nice and the kids were having a blast. i got stung by a jellyfish! yes, twice! the four of us were playing around in the water and something brushed up against me, i screamed and freaked (it got my thigh) and then it got my foot. the hubs thought i was kidding until i got out of the water and had marks on me. i also got a bit of a fat lip when i was holding the boy as a wave crashed into us and he knocked me on the mouth w/ his head. still we were having fun. (a few other people got stung too and the life guard finally put up an aquatic animal hazard sign w/ some cartoon looking jellyfish on it). despite the application of sun screen, everyone but the boy got a little burnt saturday.

saturday night we went to a german restaurant. this is the same restaurant the hubs and i found when we went to the beach on our honeymoon. it was the first time the hubs had actually been on an atlantic beach and the whole time was awesome. the beach is our special place really. anyway, now every time we go to the beach we go to this german restaurant. the kids didn't love it, but the hubs and i did.

saturday i also managed to get us roped into one of those time share meetings. i'm such a sucker for stuff like that. so, the better part of sunday morning we spent talking w/ a salesman about timeshares (though it's not CALLED a time share these days) and touring one of their sites. oy vey it was nice. the kids picked out their bedrooms in each place we visited. they hooked me when they said you can will it to your kids and they can vacation for life for free. though it seemed like a good deal (i get so caught up in the heat of the moment at those things) we didn't do it. they hard selled us, made like two counter offers and i totally would have signed up w/ their last offer that included a free disney vacay package. thankfully the hubs' cooler head prevailed : ) we didn't buy into anything.

sunday afternoon we avoided the heat of the sunny beach and went to ripley's believe it or not. the girl and the hubs have always been fascinated by this type of thing. it was fun and interesting and i think the kids had a blast.

we swam a little in the pool before dinner and then it was off to all you can eat crab legs. yum! we beached it and swam in the pool after dinner and got up early this morning to see the sunrise on the beach before we headed home.

last night on the beach the tide was really strong. we only let the kids get in (w/ the hubs at their side) up to their knees and the waves were knocking them silly. they loved it. when they sat down some of the waves pushed them up the beach about 10 feet. the power of the ocean never ceases to amaze me. it was so exhilarating to be on the beach at night and witness the power of nature but it also scares me a bit. this morning when they were playing in the surf i noticed something about my kids.

the boy would stand against the waves, daring them to move him or knock him down; proud when he was able to stand against one. he'd punch at the waves and jump over them as if they were his adversary.

the girl would sit in the surf, letting the waves toss her too and fro, sometimes overwhelming her, taking her under, filling her nose and mouth with salt water until she coughed. she'd get pushed further and further down the beach until we called her back.

they are so much like that in life as well and the boy is just like the hubs and the girl is just like me. interesting how nature can stop time for just a moment and give you such an epiphany.

we made it home around 4 today; tired, a little burnt, but filled w/ fun times and good memories. i hope these are some of the good times my kids look back on when they're grown.