Monday, December 1, 2008

goodbye old friend

although i knew this day was coming it was harder than i imagined. my cat, rebel, died last night around 8 o'clock.

you'd think i would have been more prepared. he was 17. he was decrepit. he'd been having more and more bad days; days were he seemed confused, lethargic (as compared to just napping a lot) and unsteady on his feet.

saturday the hubs picked him up and brought him to bed with us. sunday morning the girl went looking for her cat and brought rebel out to me, saying he couldn't walk. she laid him on the chair, and honestly i didn't really put two and two together at that point.

from there it went down hill. the hubs and i took turns holding him all day yesterday. he moved only slightly, seeming totally drained of energy. the life was slipping out of him. the kids held him a few times and throughout the day each of the other pets, at one time or another, came up to him and either nuzzled or licked him or just sat on our lap w/ him. he was saying his goodbyes.

then he just slipped away.

i expected to be upset when he finally died, but i didn't realize how hard it would hit us, especially since we knew it was coming. last night was the first night in 17 years that i didn't have a skinny, long-haired gray cat sleeping on me. this morning was the first time in years that the hubs took a shower without a gray cat meowing at him to get in and turn the water on so he could stand on the side between the curtains and drink from the faucet.

this is the first time since i was in college that i don't have a pet. yes, we have four other animals, but the dogs have claimed the hubs, the girl has her cat and the new kitty is a free spirit and hasn't claimed one of us as his own.

my first pet was a runt beagle puppy, chloe. i got her the summer i graduated from college (1990). when she first met the hubs and we moved in w/ him she wouldn't look at him, but that quickly changed and she became as much his dog as mine. when we moved to nc and got our own little house we got rebel, who was a tiny gray ball of fuzz named smokey. the hubs named him rebel. he and chloe were best buddies; really the only other animal rebel ever befriended. chloe would let him nurse on her when he was a kitten. they curled up together to take naps.

we had to put chloe to sleep five years ago and that about killed both the hubs and i. she was my baby before i had babies. and now, her long-time friend, our long-time friend, is also gone. we'll bury him this afternoon, in the backyard, beside chloe.

goodbye old friend.


Anonymous said...

So sorry, sweetie! I know how hard that is. Glad it was peaceful and at home, surrounded by you guys. I'll be thinking of you!

Sweet T

Kristin.... said...

I'm so sorry. Sending you huge hugs.

Astarte said...

Oh, I am so, so sorry. Losing a pet is horrible. I'm so glad you were able to experience a gentle death, I guess, but that really doesn't make the pain any better. When we had my dog Cyrus put down due to cancer almost two years back, it was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I spent his last few days sleeping on the couch with him at night, when he had trouble breathing, until we could get an appointment for You Know at the vet. To this day, his dog tag is on my keychain.

Crystal said...

Sorry about your pet cat. I can tell from your post that you really loved him, and that he really loved you too.

creative kerfuffle said...

Sweet--thanks sweetie.
Kay-kay--thanks for the hug.
Astarte--i love that you have his dog tag on your keychain. the hubs still has chloe's dog bowls in the garage and won't use them for any other pet.
crystal--welcome : ) i promise my posts aren't always so heavy.

Sherendipity said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's truly hard to believe that something like this can be so difficult unless you go through it, and I don't wish that on anyone.

Heinous said...

I am so sorry to hear that. It's truly like losing a part of the family. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

creative kerfuffle said...

shere and heinous---thanks for your thoughts.