Monday, December 29, 2008

damn vampires; coloring books and shaking my head

***if you aren't or haven't read the twilight series skip to the next graph. i grudgingly jumped on this reading band wagon cos the girl was obsessed and wanted me to read them. i finished book three last night and the girl and i are at odds. she is in love w/ the vampire, edward. initially, after the first book i was totally team edward too, but have since fallen out of lust with the robert pattison actor, he has a vacant look in his eyes and i don't like vacant. plus, after further reading i'm totally over his character. i realize these books are not award winning reads, i get that. but these characters are starting to piss me off. and not just because it has taken them four books to have sex, cos they are written for teens so that's ok, and they talk about waiting to get married and all that stuff you want (as a parent) but as a teen once and as a pretend adult now i know that's not reality. i irritated the girl because i think the heroine, bella, who is such a whiny ass i'd like to slap her, get over yourself already, should be w/ her friend/werewolf jacob instead of the vampire edward. ok, sorry, i know lots of people think these books are crap but i had to get that off my chest.

***i previously posted about the lack of coloring books and received a few suggestions on where to find them. i am anal, really anal, about my crayons and coloring books. i have seen some of the geometric coloring books kristin mentioned. they are cool. at first glance (aside from the fact that the ones i saw in the store were almost $7). but they're printed on the wrong kind of paper. the paper is white and too slick. i have a floral coloring book i got from ben franklin's and it too is on this paper. it has to be rough, beige paper to be the correct coloring book for me; sort of like news print w/ more weight and bite. i don't know paper, i just know it when i see it. and the coloring book cannot contain word searches or mazes or connect the dots crap. that is not a coloring book it's a puzzle book. and i don't like characters. my gawd i hate the princess or disney books. hurl. there used to be this awesome, fucking awesome coloring book, twas the night before christmas, and we got it almost every year around the holidays and i've had it as an adult and i can't find it anymore. i know, i have a serious screw loose for being so particular about coloring books. and it can only be crayola crayons. srsly, don't ever think of giving me that rose art crap.

****i feel family drama coming on. today the hubs mentioned that he foresees a lot of changes coming in my family this year. first, my grandma. not to be morbid, but i will not be surprised (and yes i will be sad) if she dies before the end of next year. my parents. oy vey i've so tried to stay out of their shit for such a long time. it's a defense mechanism really. the less i know about what is going on in their lives the happier i can be. i think i made a mistake taking my mom shopping w/ me the other day. for years i have held them at arms length. seeing them on family birthdays, every other month or so for all family get togethers, that type of thing. but i think i opened up a door i didn't mean to w/ the one-on-one shopping. crap. my dad has some medical issue going on. i half listened when she told us about it at thanksgiving. there always seems to be something going on with him. anywhoo--whatever this is requires medicine and one of the symptoms is lack of energy. this simply allows him to validate the fact that he's a lazy piece of shit that hasn't done much of anything other than work and complain for the last decade or more. oh, and drink. he does that too. so the latest drama is that my mom is going out of town by herself (they were supposed to go together) tomorrow. as she was telling me this on the phone today she said, i'll have my cell phone w/ me if you need me, or, if you just want to call me to say i love you. wtf? what the hell do i do w/ that? one side of me is screaming---bitch---you are so experiencing your karma right now. it is payback. you are reaping what you sowed. you are getting your just desserts. and part of me is saying, you know, you going to hell for being such a shitty daughter. but really, i cannot submerse myself in their issues. i cannot listen to either one of their sides or step in now and become friends w/ either one of them. i cannot. i will not.


Hotch Potchery said...

You are not a bad daughter, you have to focus on YOUR family...hubs and kiddos. If that means not dealing with their crap, then so. be. it.

broad minded said...

i know all about giving a mom an inch and watching her try to grab the whole yardstick with both hands. ugh. and double ugh.

creative kerfuffle said...

hotch and broad--ugh--the thing is i know in theory what i'm doing is best but there is so much guilt about it! and then i get mad about that because they are the ones that should feel guilty for being crappy parents, not me for just being their kid. fuck.

Kristin.... said...

SO i can't say anything about the family stuff because I don't have any experience there. except I'll say do what is best for you and your family. that's my motto

secondly, I'm going to find you a coloring book if it kills me. and then you'll have to email me your mailing address so I can send it to you. ha.

creative kerfuffle said...

k--if you find me a coloring book i would totally forever be in your debt : ) it has become a quest for me now. last night i even dreamed about designing my own and what it would be : )

Sherendipity said...

Ha. I think you'll be getting a few colouring books. I've been on the look out, too.

Parents. My God, I could write an entire book on my disgruntled relationship with them, and I likely would if it wouldn't be totally exhausting.

You do what you need to do for you, and your family. Trust your instincts and your heart.

Astarte said...

Why did you take her shopping, anyway? Did I miss something, or did you miss your meds that day? :)

I do the same with my mother. I haven't even been up there since Josie was a baby, almost ten years ago. She comes here for a few days a couple of times a year, but that's it. I never invite her, she always just tells me she's coming. I think you're entirely right - she is reaping what she sowed. You cannot be threatened and emotionally and physically abused for twenty years and expect anyone to even want to see you again. I think whatever we Do do with them is all gravy, really.