no promises

i'm not really one to decry w/ great flair and obviousness my resolutions though last year around this time i posted this gawd-awful thing that's been an albatross around my blog's neck. i've commented on my success/failure for each one.

2008 to do
read more books (at least one per month) i did read more but not one a month
weight--lose one size i did lose some weight but think i gained it back
learn to cook one thing really well fail---i don't think i learned to cook anything new; i made new cookies at christmas but would not say i did that really well
commit to a hair color * DONE this was a stupid to do list item because i know and i know that i will never let my hair revert to its natural color (brown) because i do not like me as a brunette; i've only ever been a brunette by mistake or not enough money to remain blondish
quit smoking no, once again, i haven't accomplished this. the only time it's easy for me to do this is when i'm pregnant and that AIN'T happening.
the hubs * this is ongoing well, i think i've done a pretty good job w/ this if i do say so myself.
figure out how to get music on the Girl's MP3 player she got for Christmas (in 2006)* don't have to do this now cos houdini dog ate it this is a total success because the girl (and everyone in the house) got new mp3 players and i am now adept at loading them and using them.
develop all film and put all pictures in albums i did get SOME film developed and put in an album, but not all. good lord i have probably 20 rolls of unidentified film and about 10 disposable cameras.

so, i guess this brings me to what would i put on the list for 2009 huh? well. hmmm. i don't think i'm making any resolutions this year. i think i set myself up for failure doing that. we all know i am the world's biggest procrastinator--like i'd be president of the world procrastinator's society...ya know, if we ever got around to forming one.

i think that i've done a lot of growing this year and not all of it was intentional. i really do think that age and your experiences and just life in general conspire to make you smarter sometimes. looking back at my life even 5 years ago i think i'm not as stressed out and angry as i used to be.

i think my relationship with the hubs has gotten even better. i have probably blogged this every year but we really did have rough times. really rough. for years. and these last several years have been great and it feels like everything just keeps getting better there.

with my kids? god, it's bittersweet. i miss the baby/toddler years so much sometimes that it breaks my heart. but then the girl and i will be walking side by side and she'll put her arm around me and she's almost as tall as me and it just melts me. (so hard to write nice stuff about them as they sit in the den bitching about zelda on wii.) or the boy will matter-of-factly blurt out the funniest line ever and just keep rolling. (aside--the hubs is, for some reason i can't fathom, now obsessed w/ finding, purchasing and wearing old man coveralls, you know, like mechanics or farmers or whatever wear? yes. his grandfather used to wear them. so we've been on a hunt for them locally. we were talking about it the other day and the kids are as against him wearing these things out in public, if he ever gets them, as i am. the boy said if the hubs gets them and wears them in the yard the boy won't come outside. he also said, maybe you can find a pair at geezer's r us! ha, priceless.)

i don't know what my resolutions would be this time around. i always want to be a better person, better wife, mom, friend....and this year maybe (ew it makes me throw up a little in my mouth, really to even type this) even a better sister and daughter. that makes me so uncomfortable. that implies that i will forge relationships w/ my sister and mother. i don't actually know what that means.

i'm not making any promises....i just want to be better.