it's a festive time of year most likely filled with holiday parties with friends and families and office parties. i've put together a list of things not to do at a party. these are things that i have either witnessed or done at party.
1. if your spouse's boss is wearing an apron with a faux penis on it and he shows it to you, do not grasp it in your hands.
2. do not dirty dance or do the hustle with your spouse's boss.
3. do not listen to your spouse and one of your best friends' spouse's when they say it is fine to show them your ta tas.
4. do not wrestle with one of your best friends as it may cause a lingering bump on your head.
5. strip scrabble is not really an appropriate party game.
6. consuming vast amounts of spinach dip and hurling on your friend's dining room carpet and then passing out in said friend's son's bed is not appropriate.
7. when traveling from one location to another, always check to see who's in your car. it is not appropriate to loudly ask where the bitch is that's been hitting on your sig other all night only to find she's sitting in the seat behind you.
8. peeing on the president of the company's tires as his car is parked right in front of the entrance to the christmas party is not wise.
9. sitting with your spouse, the person you are boinking on the side and their spouse is not recommended. also, you should not dance with the person you are boinking.
10. puking out the window on the way home from a party is not a good idea. your spouse just might make you clean that splattered puke off the inside of the roof of the car the next day.
11. after your office party is over it is not recommended to crash another company's party and sing karaoke.