Thursday, August 28, 2008

things i've learned in the last 40 years

that saying be careful what you wish for is so very true. there are dozens of things i've wished for or wanted in life that in hind sight were not so great. moving near my family for example (except for my brother's family). certain jobs i wanted and then hated not long after i got them.

mixing different liquors and beers in the same drinking session really isn't a good idea.

time really does fly when you're having fun and it really does go by faster as you get older. for example, my sixth grader was just cut out of my uterus yesterday.

when people try to tell you they have fond memories of being poor, they're lying. the hubs and i have been poor, not destitute, but poor. poor as in eating hamburger helper and kool aid every night for dinner; digging for change in the sofa for milk money (or cigarettes); selling a car to pay the rent; using all of your change to pay gas money to drive across the country poor. this is not to say we did not have some happiness then, but they certainly were not the good old days.

using credit cards is bad. i think they are actually evil. in the last year or so we are finally getting out of more than a decade of credit card hell. my downfall started in college when they swarm the campus and give a card, or two or three, to any idiot (yes, me) that would sign up for one.

don't put all of your eggs in one basket, whether that basket is friends, finances, dreams or what have you. i'm learning that the hard way on some fronts.

though i loathe confrontation, like, it's in my top ten things of loathing (which might make a good post on it's own--10 things i loathe) sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it. things may not always (hardly ever) turn out the way you'd like, but it still (in some instances) needs done.

presentation is important; and it does make a difference. this can be in a meal--make it LOOK good and somehow it does taste better--or even in how you approach topics with your kids. the hubs is better at both of these things than i am, lots better. but i recognize the importance and strive to master the skill.

eating too many spoonfuls of peanut butter late at night when you have the munchies might alleviate your craving for meat but it does not feel well the next morning.

the hubs is a much better judge of character than i am. it has always been this way. we can meet people and w/in 5 minutes he knows what type of person they are. too many times i have ignored his thoughts only to find out later, sometimes years later, that he was, after all, right. i need to listen more.

long fingernails may look pretty/sexy/whatever, but they're a bitch to type with (or to pleasure oneself with)

guys dig long hair

my lack of self confidence has impacted every aspect of my life. i don't know how to change this.

it was recently pointed out to me that i start everything under the premise that i'm not good enough and then any comment or suggestion made about anything i do is automatically viewed by me as criticism. this, sadly, is true.

though i like my hair longer and think i look better with long hair, i am most comfortable when i put it up and it's not in my way.

when i was young, like in my teens, i assumed that once i became an adult that would be it. i'd know what i needed to know and i'd just live my life. now i realize that i'm constantly learning and discovering things about myself and facing my demons and that's not always a bad thing.

regardless of how much you say you are not going to be like your parents, you are to some degree. i swore i'd never say, because i said so. i say it. i also employ the parental--maybe, when in actuality i know it's no and i just want to avoid the confrontation at the moment.

despite all of my hopes and dreams for myself, my biggest hope is that i raise kids that like and love me when they are adults.

peanut butter really does get gum out of hair. we tested this a few years ago w/ the girl.

chocolate and peanut butter anything really is the best flavor combination in the world.

green olives DO NOT taste good the second time around

there really are people you are meant to be with and when you are not with them part of you is missing

you don't know everything you think you know in your 20s or even 30s (sorry to anyone in those decades) i didn't understand older women until recently when they said things get better as you get older. i think it's a blossoming sense of self perhaps

you really do need to pick your battles. i can't really say i've learned this lesson well. i KNOW this to be true but i do not always remember it

star trek the next generation is not just for geeks

even fair-haired, non-hairy women get random stray hairs as they age (i'm considering getting my chin waxed)

humor can almost always make any situation better

mary jane is NOT a gateway drug

i can french braid hair

i'm stronger (mentally) than i thought i was

being a writer does not automatically mean you know how to spell


broad minded said...

nice post. and happy bday again. glad i wasn't late, just day deficient.

yeah i would say that in the last 10 years i have figured out more about myself and like myself better than ever before in my life. so it wouldn't surprise me at all to feel even better about things by 45.

and now i have to admit that i am DYING to find out what the hubs thought of me first thing. god i am so self involved!

Anonymous said...

No kidding, broad. I wanna know his impression of me, too. I always thought he liked me, but now I wonder.

Happy 40, CK!

Sweet T

PS: I like the word verification, "pquzld."

Kristin.... said...

Happy birthday my friend. I'm glad I found you in the bloggy world.

creative kerfuffle said...

thanks for the bday wishes! broad and sweet t--i think the hubs will have to answer this for you : ) and kristin--i'm glad i found you too! i think we'd be great IRL friends too--so much in common!

Anonymous said...

sweet t--when i first met you i thought you were a nice girl but you weren't comfortable in your own skin. i thought if you ever let your hair down you'd have more fun.
broad--first i was fascinated by your small feet. i thought you were so boisterous and self assertive to hide the soft sensitive side underneath.
at the time i thought you were both sincere true friends to ck and time has proven that to be true. i've also always known that both of you secretly want me because...i'm da man.
the hubs

Anonymous said...

That made me laugh out loud! And I don't disagree with you. I'm working on letting my hair down more often. I am glad to call CK a true friend!

Sweet T

broad minded said...

dang hubs, you might have made me tear up. might have i say.

and i still maintain you can not be da man if you are the one saying you are da man. i stand firm on that.

Astarte said...

I love this! I like how it meshes real stuff with FUNNY stuff. You're so good at that!

Yeah, I'm finding that now that I'm in my mid-30's I am really starting to appreciate and understand who I am as opposed to who I or others think I should be. It's nice. And the whole learning when to bother sharing one's opinion, I'm right there with you.