Tuesday, August 5, 2008

go to bed already

ok, i apologize. i just realized i posted the same thought (about the hubs being out of town) twice today.

when he's out of town i always have these lofty thoughts. my plan is always to come home, clean the house like mad, do laundry, etc. you know, get things done so we can enjoy the weekend. and then i flop on the couch with the kids and my brain turns to mush.

i watched two hours of tori and dean tonight. good god. what is life coming to that that becomes entertainment? and that i LIKE it for god's sake.

and i'm so incredibly tired and my brain is spinning w/ all the work involved w/ with in the coming weeks and yet, when he's out of town i can't get to sleep. it's the same when i'm out of town typically. i'm tired, but actually getting to sleep is a chore when he's not there w/ me.

the dogs aren't right when he's gone either. they're in and out more than their usual, like they'll find him in the back yard or something. and at bedtime? oy vey they're in the bedroom then out then back in. standing by the bed--i can feel the black lab's hot breath on me--as she's looking for the hubs.

non sequitors
are you blanket people? at our house, even in the summer, we lie around w/ blankets on the couch. what's up with that?

i'm a horrible parent sometimes. obviously i love my kids to death and am often amused and amazed at how their brains work and i think they're both gorgeous--but sometimes i watch videos or look at pictures of them at 6 months or 2 years and am just totally blown away by their complete CUTENESS. especially the girl (cos we have a lot more footage of her) omg--if you knew her at that age you'd have nommed her all the time (shout out to the lolcats). she was soooo cute. she's beautiful now and lord help the hubs cos she's going to be even more so when she grows up. but the cuteness is gone.

this month the girl will start middle school, i will turn 40 and my sister will get married. wow. i'm not sure which of those things disturbs me the most. actually, i'm not that bummed about turning 40. last week a woman i know told me she thought i was 28. ha. i think she may have been pulling my leg but she certainly didn't think i was 40. however, in all practicality my life is half over. THAT is not a pleasant thought.

do you ever just want to play hookie on life sometimes? like totally call in sick to work, keep the kids home (or send them away if they're usually w/ you at home) and totally goof off the whole day? like, not even do a load of laundry or lift a finger on the house, just do something fun? i need one of those days.


Astarte said...

My dogs are always weirded out when someone's not here, too. They keep me up half the night leaping off the bed, woofing and running to the stairs to see if DH is back yet. Argh.

I know what you mean about the cuteness being gone. Josie is 9 now, and she's not really cute anymore. She's pretty, but not cute. When I look at old pictures, or videos, I miss those days SO much.

Don't be upset about your life seeming half over. Really, we're not aware of our lives until we're kids, so that knocks off several years at the beginning, and we're not really in charge of ourselves at all until we're teenagers, so time hasn't gone as fast as you think, because I bet you don't think of anything before, say, 15 as being 'life'. If you look at it that way, that life really began at around 15, then midlife isn't until around 60. :)

Anonymous said...

Those are called "Mental Health" days.. I strongly suggest taking one! They DO help enormously..

Kristin.... said...

Blankets~check! You and I are weird people.

Oh please, please please can I play hookie on life? Oh holy crap if you only knew......