tonight we met my sister's fiance and saw her new apartment.
when we walked in there was a woman and two men and four kids (other than my sister and her two kids).
i knew one of the men was her fiance. there was one younger guy--20s maybe early 30s, hispanic, close-shaved head. the other hispanic gentleman looked old and battered; he was wearing a ball cap and said very little.
desperation thy name is a 28 year old with two kids from two men who's seen the inside of more treatment facilities than most (okay, i think it's only been two or three but still). yes, the old guy is her fiance. she said he's five years older than her but i'll kiss your ass if he's not 10 years older. ok, saying he's 10 years older than her would make him my age, but he seems even older than me. and even that, under some circumstances, wouldn't really matter. he has a glazed look in his eye--you know like when you look at my old cat (or any old animal) and they have those milky, cataract filled eyes? that's the look he has. and i swear to god--we were there for a little over two hours and i MIGHT have heard him say five words tops, mostly yes or no. when people talked to him she answered for him.
so, glutton for punishment that she is, my sister had beer there. hmmmm, let me think, let's get my dad, my brother and the hubs together in that sort of tense situation and throw beer in the mix. my dad said very little and didn't have a beer. my brother had a beer or two and then occupied himself w/ puddin' and didn't say much either. then there's the hubs : ) (just for the record, we don't drink much. really. smoking? that's another story. but it's not like we come home and toss back a few every day. we buy beer when people come over to hang out and then if it's not gone it lingers in the fridge for months.) however, the hubs had some beer and tried desperately to draw jose out of his shell. the hubs is actually a very personable type person and really did try to engage him in conversation.
the other couple there? that was the sister's boss and her husband, the pair that introduced my sister to jose. they talked and were social. not jose.
normally i'm totally not one to put stock into the exterior of a person because i've found that the people i really like on the inside are beautiful on the outside to, or at least they seem so to me. anyway, jose has no personality, from what i can tell. and he's ugly. his hair hung in a pony tail down to his ass. not a hot sexy pony tail, but a long ass horse tail. and then there were the glazed eyes. and no personality. i don't get it? i really don't. why, why is she marrying him? what can they POSSIBLY have in common other than desperation??
and, get this. she's telling the kids (who are 8 and 4) to call him daddy! you've been seriously dating a guy who doesn't speak for a month and are marrying him in 20 some days and you're having your kids call him daddy? wtf??? really folks, wtf??
this post sounds like i don't like old people or hispanics--that's not it at all. of the dude had some semblance of a personality it would be ok. if i could see maybe a light on behind those cloudy eyes, maybe that would be ok. but it's just like there's this shell of a person there, taking up space. how is that going to be good for my niece and nephew? how is that anything other than my sister saying, yeah, i finally got a man that' not going to just fuck me but that's going to actually marry me? now i can play house and have a husband and (seem) be normal like everyone else. it's incredibly depressing to me.