Saturday, March 22, 2008

falling off the wagon

hmmm, a little self analysis today. i think i sort of fell off the sanity/well being/good mental health truck this week and landed in a puddle of evilness/bi-polarness/wft-disease. i don't mean to joke if you're bi-polar. one thing i'm learning from reading blogs is there really are a lot of people out there who either think they are bi-polar or who have been diagnosed with it.

anyway, i've been off this week. personally i haven't really felt any differently, well, maybe a little blue for no apparent reason, moody, again, for no apparent reason. i get pissed easily. most of this has been taken out on the hubs. i swear, really, if a man deserved a medal for putting up with shit mine would be like the 4 star general of the planet. seriously dude.

i got mad at a comment he made on my blog; totally taken out of context. i got mad when he asked me where to hang the hand towel round thingy he was putting in the kids bathroom, along with a towel hook thing--all for me to put me in a better mood. i got mad when he made faces and comments when i got a work call yesterday at 4pm (because i thought he was mad at me--when in fact he was talking about the fact that the call took 15 minutes for nothing and this person is always long winded, which i've said a million times myself). i've been pissy with him in general. of course he's not lily white--he's had a tude w/ me too. but i guess after you've had your head bitten off 20 kabillion times for nothing you're likely to get a tude.

what is wrong w/ me? i don't typically like to rely on lamo excuses like, it's my time of the month (and it's not right now) but perhaps it is hormonal stuff? the girl has been out of whack this week too--pissy for no reason, fussy, ready to argue at the drop of a hat. she's 11 and thank god hasn't started yet, but omg maybe we're doing some unconscious female hormone meld or something?

the poor hubs got to the point last night where he was asking which one of me he was talking to. if i step out of the moment and view myself i really could be sybil. blank eyed and antagonistic one minute and then remorseful and wanting to make up the next. do you do this?

and honestly, i know i've said this before, but the hubs and i really have been on one of those really good plateaus for quite awhile. our relationship has always been like a thrill ride, roller coaster, love-hate, can't live without thing. the ugly times were horribly ugly and the good times were awesome, but in general we've found our groove and things, at least in my mind, are really, really good. so it's not like i'm secretly pissed about anything or harboring a bad vibe against him.


Astarte said...

I'm hoping against hope it's the weather, and that when the sun finally makes its real appearance (read: not peeking through for a day, getting our hopes up and then dropping us on our pasty white asses) I will be a human again.

Also helpful will be the relief of the expectation held by the other life forms in the house for ME to fix their cooped-up-ed-ness, when frankly I can't even deal with my own!

Barring that, well, there's always alcohol.

creative kerfuffle said...

i don't know what it was/is but i'm feeling much better. i do think getting out helped!

broad minded said...

you are lucky with the girl. i found out a couple of weekends ago that the 9 year old niece has started! too soon!!!!!!

creative kerfuffle said...

broad--your brother's eldest is already 9? holy crap. thank god my girl hasn't started yet, but i fear it's coming soon. this is perhaps tmi and a mom thing but the girl was undressing in the hallway before getting in the shower last night (i know, my kids have no modesty) and though i know she has "buds" i noticed they're getting more boob-like than bud like. (the hubs will hate this post). i must have gotten this, awwww, my baby is getting boobs look on my face because the girl looked at me and rolled her eyes. however, secretly i think she is happy.

broad minded said...

yep, she is 9 and the other two will be 8 & 6 in may. ikes!

per the girl, as long as you didn't reach out, ala 16 candles and say "look fred, she got her boobies!"