10:30 saturday morning

sleeping in late is one of my favorite things in the world. i did wake up earlier today around 7:30, the girl was already up and watching tv. this time when i got up there were web kinz (stuffed animals) all over the living room, the boy was growling about something and the den was a mess. i still love sleeping in late.

my mom is taking the kids to the park today. had anyone else written that it would be perfectly normal, grandma's do that right? not my mom. it's bizarre. she (and my sister and her kids of course, they can't do anything without each other) is picking up my nephew and then picking up my kids and taking them to a park for a picnic. the girl (oldest grandchild) is 10, this has NEVER happened before.

later today we're going to the BRO and SIL. i think it's been a month or more since we've seen them.

car update---my transmission can't be fixed, i need a new one (but of course). it will cost more (but of course) and i'll get it back hopefully tuesday.

god love the internet

ok, this (before you click turn your volume down cos the song plays) song has been haunting me for weeks now. it's the song in the ipod fattynano commerical or something.

i just heard it and thought, i'm googling that to find out who that is, i love that song. and through the joy of technology i have found it and brought it to you to enjoy.

epiphany

(first of all if you're reading this be warned---there are like 4 or 5 posts today) some of you are slacking off on your reading--catch up.

ok, i just had an epiphany. i think one reason the hubs and i have such a good relationship is that we were friends before we started dating. we started liking each other first not as boy and girl but as friends. then when we started dating we dated a long time. we really got to know each other. i'm not saying you can't meet someone and fall in love at first site and not have a good relationship but i wonder if those last as long as people who start out as friends.

sort of like the "getting to know you intimacy" comes before the physical intimacy clouds your judgement.

ironies

so, i'm job hunting on the web. been a LONG time since i've seriously done this. it's depressing. there's nothing in my field out there.

you know you're desperate when you start looking outside your field and things start looking good.

looking at marketing jobs--director of marketing (what is that exactly?) for--get this, here's the irony---a baseball magazine. LOL

here's one: inserter. yes, it's an actual job listing. i know how to insert stuff. wonder how much that pays?

and another--copywriter for the billy graham evangelistic association (no, i didn't make that up)

oh god, this one's better: associate editor for Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics! i think i'm going to pee my pants! sweet mother of pearl.

ok, now i'm thinking too far outside the box because i'm thinking people writing these job descriptions need some inside information about what to really put in there.

what the hell does this even mean? Contributing to the business/site efforts of the business operations/initiatives. that's one of the job requirements. huh?

here's what a job description needs:
requirements: x yrs of school/experience; know how to use xyz software; x yrs. experience in specific field (if you're a company unwilling to think outside your safety zone), x is how much we're willing to pay (though if you're good we'll give you more)
job: you will travel x amount of days; you will be expected to do x,y,z and abcd.

is it really that hard to write a clear cut job description? you're trying to hire someone not sell them your company. people want to know what they'll be doing every day they don't give a flip about who they're doing it for. that sounds callous, not what i mean. i mean i went to school to be a writer, i don't care who i do it for. (and yes, THIS particular entry is REALLY showing off my abilities as a writer! LOL)

escapes

what do you to do escape?

reading has always been a huge escape for me. getting lost in other worlds.

in the last few months of travel i've gotten back into crossword puzzles as escapes. i'm one of those weird people who do them in pen. not out of any arrogance of being sure of my answers, but because in my aging process the pen is easier to read than the pencil. actually, i rarely finish a puzzle. if i do it's because i've cheated a little. i'm sure all of that says something psychologically about me but oh well.

bookworm, on yahoo games is another escape. yes, your brain has to work to spell (which i suck at) but it's busy putting words together instead of worrying about life. pre-bookworm (which big t introduced me to) i played text twist on yahoo games and before that it was spider solitaire and free cell. wow, now that i think about it i'm a computer game geek.

why couldn't i be one of those people who become productive as a means of escape. like cleaning or writing a novel or something?

later in the effed up day

first, thanks for the smile sweet t : ) see comments where sweet t puts me in my place. yes, the world conspired to make me pissy today.

ok, so i didn't get my slab o' chocolate cake w/ hot fudge syrup but shortly i will find something to take the edge off the day.

meanwhile, i should bring you up to speed on the girl. the big 5th grader. so before school even started she mentioned the boyfriend from last year and how she might still like him. despite my slyly trying to steer her toward another boy for a few years, she has gone back to the boy from last year. for our purposes i will call him the shrimp (because he's shorter than her and i'm a bitch). during one of my last trips she and the shrimp got back together. how so you may ask? well, they were sitting together at lunch and started discussing (she brought it up, my forward daughter) how they still "had feelings" for each other. so they are now boyfriend and girlfriend again. ok, no problem.

night before last she said they are now talking (just talking not following through) about holding hands. they both think it might be a good idea, however they haven't done the deed. again, the girl brought it up, not him. however, today at lunch (still no hand holding) he asked her where she thought they would live if they got married. uh, hold the fucking phone shrimp! you can't commit to hand holding and you're talking marriage? the girl said she wanted to live in the mountains. i will correct that because that's too far away from me. then shrimp asked where they'd go on their honeymoon. damn, fast mover. the girl said germany and then spain. at least she has aspirations : ) i'm not sure how to feel about this at all. granted dating at this point is sitting together at lunch.

perhaps i'm old fashioned, it bothers me that she asked him to be her boyfriend and that she brought up the hand holding thing. stupid of me? i consider myself a liberated woman. i don't know. thoughts?

my brain hurts. too many responsibilities running through my head. why, why is it when things are starting to come together does something like a fucking transmission come along and screw it all up??????

effed up day

my car had been making funny, clicking noises for a few days. we were going to take it in to have it looked at tonight. it must have had other thoughts on the matter because driving to work today it died. well, not just like totally stopped. it made a strange noise then revved up then slowly decelerated. i was driving on the interstate. i pulled over, flashers and all. i pulled way over because thoughts of people getting smashed to bits as they sit on the side of the road in their broken down car flashed before my eyes. it's the transmission. those things are not cheap. i am not a happy camper.

i called big t. she came and got me; once again my lifesaver. they are towing my car to the dealership to have it looked at. did i say i'm not a happy camper?

my paranoia is kicking in. the girl is on a field trip, 45 minutes away. the hubs is working elsewhere about an hour and a half away. i am stuck carless. i won't think about the worst case scenarios.

oh, and can we please add one more thing to the pile of crap that is my day? menstrual cycle. say it with me---menstrual fucking cycle. why doesn't someone invent a pill for women who are passed the point of wanting to make babies to take so these monthly nuisances can just stop? why, tell me that why? i'd take one in a freakin' heartbeat.

fuck i could use a slab of chocolate cake with hot fudge on it right about now.

oh yea, i hate my job too.

p.s. one more thing--you know you can write comments about things. am i getting that boring? am i talking to myself (i do that sometimes i know) hello, anyone out there? i know some people are reading but quit being fucking voyeurs and comment folks.

Puzzling fun

I just saw this story this morning. A guy proposed to his girlfriend via a crossword puzzle. How totally cool and wordsmithy is THAT?

hair twirling

you know, if hair twirling were a sport i'd so medal in it.

i don't know when i started twirling my hair, as a child maybe?, but i think i do it a lot more than i realize.

i'm sitting here working on like 3 different stupid work projects, listening to pandora.com at full blast w/ my earphone in and twirling the hell out of my hair. i don't know why i do it. the hair is soft? it feels good between my fingers? nervous habit?

i remember when i was younger, much much younger, i used to twirl it then put it in my mouth (i'm talking like grade school age) and sometimes the ends of my hair would be wet. gross i know.

sometimes when the girl is sitting on my lap in the evenings i twirl her hair too : ) i like it when she twirls mine too. hell, when anyone twirls it or plays with it it feels good. then of course there's the slight pulling of hair, but that's a different post altogether ; )

who else has quirky little things like that?

Cultural references

The Hubs has been listening to some Chris Rock CDs and shared this tidbit with me. We didn't know what this was until he heard it mentioned on the CD.

Do you know what a tossed salad is? I'll wait while you follow the link. :::tapping fingers, looking around:::: Back? OK. So, did you know that? Did you know what it was to toss a salad? OK, so here is my question. Most references I get after I hear them, but this one, still I don't get. Where does the salad reference come in?

Speaking of cultural references--since I was out of the States from 83-86 I missed out on a few things. Obviously I don't know what I missed since I wasn't here, but from time to time references come up from that time frame that I'm clueless on. Fashion, TV shows, Movies, etc. The iconic 80s things. The one that sticks out in my mind is MTV.

I don't know when MTV started but I know it was while I was in Germany. One of our classmates came back to the states before the rest of us and she wrote to us about it and even sent us videos (our only connection to the "world" as we called it) of Duran Duran videos. We piled on the sofa at one of my friend's house and were enthralled. Obviously though we didn't get the full impact of MTV--all music videos all day (back when they still played videos).

My first MTV sighting was in the summer of 1986 when we came back to the States. We were visiting an aunt and uncle and I saw it for the first time. I remember Adam Curry was a VJ--lots of big hair. I was amazed. I was glued to the TV. It was incredible. Of course back then the videos were NOTHING like they have become, but wow, they were cool.

After the silence

Ok, so I'm sure I will not be the first person to make that sad joke today, poor Marcel. Though he did live to be 84 which isn't chump change.

Sunday morning, almost 10:30 a.m. The kids are still at mom's; they spent the night there because we went out for Donut's bday last night.

I don't know if the Hubs has noticed this or not, but I thought of it last night. This is a little TMI so skip to the next graf if you're easily offended. I don't think we do this on purpose (at least I don't because I never really thought about it before) but anytime before we either go out with a group of people or have people over, we have sex. Is that odd? It's like we're "staking our claim" I guess. Odd, I'd never thought about that until now. Does anyone else do that?

We had fun last night. No, I didn't get trashed, I was the DD; but the Hubs drank a fishbowl of something called an Orgasm : ) Literally it was served in a plastic fishbowl. I had a good time despite not getting drunk, and actually I never really even got a buzz. This enabled me to people watch more closely.

One of the other couples out included one of my co-workers and though we've been around them before, last night (perhaps because I was sober) was interesting. I know I have my insecurities (lord do I) but I don't think the Hubs is one of them. My co-worker has insecurities about her husband. She clung to him all night, not like, God, you're so hot I can't stand not touching you for one minute, let's go home and screw, but more like, yes, he's mine and if any of you bitches get anywhere near him I'll jack you up. He, on the other hand, was definitely scoping out the place. I like this guy, but he makes me nervous for some reason. He is certainly more mature than his wife.

We went to another bar, one that played 80s music and it had a tiny dance floor. The Hubs was buzzing along nicely I think, though not trashed (despite the fishbowl, a few beers and a few shots). He was itching to dirty dance (which I'm not a huge fan of) and after getting his grove on with me sitting on my bar stool he danced to Pour Some Sugar on Me (his ultimate dirty dancing song) with this lithe young black girl who'd also been dancing earlier. I wish you could have seen it, we took pics, but my God it was awesome.

I think Donut had a good time too, though lord that girl can drink! I've seen her drink and drank with her before, but it still impresses me that she doesn't lose her shit like I do. I think Ninja (her Hubs) was getting worried. While of course nobody likes to hurl, Donut has real issues with it, like can't be around it, can't hear it, doesn't do it, can't talk about it issues. If she didn't hurl last night I'll be surprised.

Today is going to be catch up day---chores, grocery, etc. I'm ready to get the house/life back in order.

A sad day

I just read this headline:

Marcel Marceau is dead.

I think it's only fitting that we share a moment of silence.

TGIF

omg i'm so happy it's friday!
incredibly busy at work but needed to give me brain a rest from proofing.

here are random things from this week.

first--shout out to my girl donut--do you remember, the 21st day of september--happy birthday soul sister!

it's been a quiet week in the office, both donut and big t are traveling : (

on the home front--the girl got her first zit so we had to buy some acne face wash : )

the boy got a hair cut before picture day and told the stylist to be careful because the girls like his hair and he didn't want to lose his mojo.

i got to have lunch, finally, with sweet t, famous and sneal. always a treat to hang with them. they were my friends before the boy was even born--hard to believe it's been that long. sniff sniff. famous brought a long one of the crazy emails we shared from like 2002. we must have had a lot of free time then. we wrote an email book of poo, created 'scrapbooks' for each other from stock photo books, etc. good times, good times. i think the best was the photo album we made for sweet t about a 'faux' boyfriend. ; )

i also got to have lunch with the hubs this week, which we rarely get to do. he's had a suck ass work week, up early, putting up with bs, etc. but i have to say, he totally rocks my world : )

i'm missing my sil, bro and nephew though. we're hoping to get together next weekend. i'm getting excited about baby stuff! i want to find out NOW what she's having so we can narrow down the shopping ideas : )

back home safe and sound

i got home around 8pm last night. even though this was a short trip i think emotionally it seemed longer. maybe it was because i was only home for two days and then gone again, but the kids barely let me get out of the car--they were hugging me like crazy. what a great feeling. i don't even think it was all about the gifts i brought, but i think they really missed me.

thankfully i don't go out of town again until january.

being in germany was pretty emotional actually. even though it wasn't the same city we lived in just being back there, 21 years later, was very thought provoking. the hubs and i have grown/changed a lot in those 21 years, but had i not moved there we never would have met, there wouldn't have been a girl and boy or an us. next month we'll be married 15 years. few people can actually say they married their first love, but i did.

in other news--my sister called tonight to thank me for lending her money. i think she could tell by the tone in my voice i wasn't too thrilled with her. i told her she needs to get her shit together. i've also decided that come tax time, when she gets that whomping tax return she gets every year because she's basically living off the government, i'm going to ask for my money back. maybe i'm cruel and heartless but the more i think about it the more pissed i get. maybe i should be of the mind that in the big scheme of things yes i could afford to give her that money but it's because we've busted our ass and worked hard and have struggled. she's never really had to struggle because when things go bad for her someone always picks up the pieces and she's never REALLY had to be responsible or fix things herself. i'm thinking we actually might have enabled her with giving her the money this time. it's not like she would have ended up on the street, she could move back in with my folks. not the best situation (i'd never do it) but at least she had an option.

the girl has gotten back together with her boyfriend from last year. basically this means they can say they're boyfriend and girlfriend. they see each other at lunch and that's about it. i'm not too worried yet. next year, when she's in middle school is when i think we'll start worrying more.

Saturday evening in Cologne

i walked around and in the cathedral, it's incredible.

I

it's hard to believe this is actually where people go to church. simply beautiful. i also walked around the marketplatz. it's just like nurnberg (probably like most european cities actually) the church is surrounded by the shops/life of the town because that's where people used to congregate.

i bought a few things, but not the cuckoo clock we wanted, too expensive. didn't really have the money to buy a lot though. next time!

met up w/ the show guy and a group of about 30 american vendors to go to this show hosted party. it was on the fair grounds and the venue was right on the rhine river. beautiful. it was a buffet dinner on this huge outdoor patio. very nice.

i walked back w/ a vendor and her 75 year old mother. we walked on the footpath on the bridge across the rhine and came out right near the cathedral. it was just amazing.

i figured out the train schedule and need to be there at 8:30 in the morning to get to frankfurt at 9:30. my flight leaves around noon i think.

i imed w/ the family earlier. they're ready for me to come home : ) i'm ready to be home. however, this day has made me realize that although the hubs and i have talked nonchalantly about coming back, we definetely have to now. i want to save the money to come back and buy things we want but also to visit different places, sit at the outdoor cafes drinking beer and people watching, soaking it all in.

saturday in cologne

i'm feeling much, much better today. i got up thinking, damn, i'm really really tired, but as the day has progressed i've gotten better.

if i have to come back here the hubs is definetly coming with me. even though we've never been to cologne together there are just so many memories of our time in germany that are flooding back.

i wish everyone could experience it. the sights, the history, the sounds, the smells. cologne is right on the rhine river, actually have to cross the river to get to the show complex.

things i'd forgotten about germany. tight jeans--on guys and girls. i'm talking skin tight how the hell did they get into them tight. funky hairstyles. i saw a kid on the train today, maybe 12, with a short hair cut and swirls shaved into it. and germans don't understand recycling. the drinks that you buy, warm mostly, are in glass bottles, very few plastic bottles around. when we lived here the beer trucks would drive into neighborhoods and you'd buy wooden cases of beer, soda and spetzi, which is a mix of an orange/lemon and soda, very yummy. when your bottles were empty you'd put them back in the case and return them with your next order. the singles you buy on the street or whatever are just thrown away so i've seen people poking through the trash looking for them to redeem i guess.

i attempted to travel legally this morning and not with that free pass the show gave us. fortunately a girl at the ticket vending machine spoke a little english and very nicely helped me buy a ticket for the train. 2.50 euros to go one stop--i think that's expensive. at the show i ran into the guy from the show who invited me to begin with and he said my pass was good and basically travel on the public transportation is more or less based on the honors system and you are rarely asked to see your ticket. since my train ride from frankfurt on the ICE (inter city express) i haven't seen one conductor/ticket agent.

i stepped into a mini-grocery at the train station to look around. i want to buy some german ketchup to bring back, definitely different flavor, but they had hine's in this store, and mcdonald's ketchup. the candies are funny. many of them we can get at world market and then they have a lot of american candies too. i haven't seen any pepsi at all, just coke products. i've been drinking a lot of juice and water. in the room minibar it has juice and water, free of charge. the hotel also has a great, complimentary, breakfast buffet. i had muslie for the first time this morning. it's like a cold oatmeal, i think it's yogurt, oats, raisins and other stuff. pretty yummy. they also had pickeled herring (which i passed up) nurnberg bratwurst, boiled eggs, all sorts of breads, jams, nutella (a chocolatey spread like p-nut butter--we can get it at costco), lunch meats, etc.

i worked the show for a few hours today and now am going to the cathedral and hope to find some places to shop.

at least i don't LOOK out of place here, everyone assumes i am/speak german.

i'm supposed to meet the show guy and a bunch of american vendors at 6pm for the press event tonight. i had planned on just grabbing a bite to eat alone, but i think i'll go so what it's all about.

i'll probably post again later.

(for some reason the spell checker isn't working and now i'm seeing blogger in german! LOL i hope i'm pushing all the right buttons!)

sprechen zie english?

so i'm in cologne now. getting ready to IM w/ the family in about an hour (midnight my time). let me tell you about the trip so far.

it started thursday morning. i got up took the kids to school, came back, hung out w/ the hubs a little then left for the airport. since i was going to be on an overnight flight i put my toothbrush and toothpaste in my carry on. they confiscated my toothpaste--even though it was half empty it was a full size container. great.

i had a 4-5 hour layover in charlotte (a NON smoking airport) and went outside and back through security twice while i was there.

i did get a little bit of work done since i had a laptop but not as much as i'd hoped.

i tried switching my seat when i realized i had a center seat, but no luck, the flight was packed. it was a two-four-two set up. i was on a row w/ four guys and the guy beside me slept the entire way so i had to wake him up to go to the bathroom. normally i sleep on planes pretty easily, but i didn't this time. couldn't get comfortable, too many people, it was hot, i was antsy and almost worked myself into an anxiety attack the last two hours because i was getting clausterphobic and needed a smoke. there was a little girl sitting with her parents in front of me, she was about 3ish, cute as could be. reminded me of the only time we flew w/ the girl. she was really good.

i get off the airplane in frankfurt and the memories came rolling back. germany has it's own smell. i can't describe it. it's not a bad smell, not like garbage or anything, just a german smell. weird i know. the last time i was at an airport in germany was when we were leaving and i was saying good bye to the hubs. sniff sniff.

you can smoke in the airport, hell, you can smoke pretty much anywhere here, though there are designated areas. but right there, in baggage claim you can light up.

the next fun thing was trying to figure out how to get the train to cologne. there are no information desks. there are signs and yes, in the airport they also are in english so i got to the train station. then you have to buy your ticket from a vending machine, yes, it has an english option, but i didn't really understand the schedule or the acronyms, etc. and the ticket prints out in german.

i get on the train. it's nice, fine ride, only an hour to cologne. however, apparently i sat in first class when my ticket was for second class. the first ticket train agent guy came by and didn't say anything, he didn't speak english and didn't want to bother with me. the second spoke some english, he's the one who told me i was in the wrong area, but he let me stay probably because he recognized the totally confused look on my face.

i get to the train station in cologne. it literally took me 30 minutes to find my way out of it and to my hotel, which was across the street. by this time it's like 10:30 cologne time (4:30 home time). i got to my room and took a shower then tried to figure out how to get from the hotel to the show.

in my show packet there was this little pass for free public transportation. so that's what i used today thinking i was doing well. at the train station there was a pharmacy so i thought i'd get some toothpaste. it was like a pharmacy, not a cvs or walgreens. i recognized nothing--no american labels to be found. i spotted toothbrushes and what i assume is toothpaste. you tell me.

(i've used it, it is toothpaste, thank god it wasn't like some hemmoroid cream or something!)

so, i took the train to the show. it is ginormous, the buildings are huge and the show is huge and only takes up two of the 12 or so "halls" aka buildings. in my haste to get over there i didn't take my business cards or a notebook to take notes. yeah, i'm hella professional. frankly i was a walking zombie. you can smoke in the show, right there on the floor. well, like at designated areas, but in the actual convention center. some people were smoking in their booths, which was nasty. and beer. they sell it right there along w/ the sodas for lunch. warm most of it because i had forgotten germans don't drink stuff cold or on ice. i roamed around, talked to some vendors, took some pictures and headed back. i was wiped out.

got back to my room, checked email, worked a little then took an hour nap. i ate dinner (kalbschnitzel mit kartofelsalat) in the hotel restaurant. i hate eating in sit down places alone but i really didn't like the thought of going out after dark and getting hella lost. i don't do that in cities where i speak the language let alone here! so at dinner i'm looking over the city map, waiting for my food (and i had a beer) and i smell something burning. i look down and my map is nearly on fire from the little tea light candle on the table! there's a brown spot on the map now, but nothing burst into flames. so dinner was yummy and i came back to my room. it's small but not like the ny box. feather bed, i'd forgotten about those too. well, not the mattress but a feather/down duvet thing.

i haven't met up w/ the vendors i know who are supposed to be here. i at least thought i could have dinner with them one night. i'm just so exhausted at this point.

i'm a geek

if i've written about this before suck it up because this is hella cool. i'm sitting in the airport (yes, i have a 4-5 hour delay before i leave for frankfurt) working on a laptop. it's literally like i'm on my computer at work and i just printed something on the work printer. how fucking cool is that?

i really do have in mind that i'll finish up some stories this afternoon but not right this minute. plus, to have a smoke i have to go back out through security so that's not convenient.

i just talked to the hubs a little bit ago--there is extended family drama going on. i'm so pissed i could scream. so my sister calls my brother with her sob story. the doctors recently changed her bi-polar meds, futzing with the levels or whatever. so she's been depressed and exhibiting other bi-polar episodes like losing your fucking mind (sorry, fucking will probably come out a few times here) and spending your pay check on crap instead of your car insurance or rent. so she needs money. my grandma has shelled out all she's going to i assume; my folks are probably a hair's breath away from eating cat food themselves, so it looks like it's up to the bro and i to help. i should make it clear that the SIL, hubs and I are not really on this happy helping bandwagon, though it probably is the right thing to do.

i know i sound harsh and uncaring but dammit. yes, she has had her shit together for more than a year now, but we've been down this road before. i should have known something was coming with her because word is out that the bro and SIL are expecting again. typically my sister falls into a crisis or has an episode when something big is happening to someone else. it doesn't help matters that one of our cousins (who is my sister's age) is married (even though he is a total loser) and expecting her first kid (huge mistake--that's two people who should not procreate, they can't even take care of themselves!). so we're going in half with my bro and SIL and paying her car insurance, my bro is actually going to the insurance office to pay it, not just give her the cash. this pisses me off because one, they're getting ready to have a baby and obviously will be needing their funds; two, we are finally seeing light at the end of our tunnel of debt and that money was earmarked for a bill. my sister gets reduced (basically non-existent) daycare, free medical and now we're bailing her ass out. i'm going to hell for sure for not being a more giving person. the thing is, if it were my bro i wouldn't bat an eye about it.

i'm getting worked up, might have to go back out through security to have a smoke.

yawn.....

...sorry, it's mid afternoon and i'm dragging. i napped off and on when i got home last night, snuggling up with the hubs on the couch. it's amazing how much you miss being close to someone when you've been gone so much. i think humans in general need physical contact, and no i'm not just talking about sex y'all, just being close, touching, etc.

the boy lost the other top front tooth yesterday at school. he looks so cute.

i got my hair cut the night before i left. of course nobody has noticed but me : ) the hubs said it seems shorter, but mostly i just got it "cleaned" up, layers fixed, etc. so i don't look like a straggly rock star : )

i told my boss my plans for trying not to be here tomorrow and he said as long as i was caught up but don't forget he needs such and such from me. fucker.

miss me?

i'm exhausted. it's my last night, thank god!, in vegas. this show has kicked my ass big time. it's weird in a way because it's been good and bad. this is our biggest show of the year and my second time around. the first time was fine but this time, now that i've been at it about a year and a half, many more people know me. it's good in the sense that that's what is expected of me but bad in the fact that everyone wants to talk to me and it really slows me down. now it's so much more about schmoozing people than anything else.

i need to get to bed since i have to leave for the airport at 5:30 am and we all know how much i LOVE mornings, but it's been so long since i blogged i was feeling like i've neglected it.

i got to see the fountain at the bellagio tonight--the only thing good about this place as far as i'm concerned. i lost a pair of earrings today. when i got back to the hotel one fell off into the toilet (i threw it away) and that's when i noticed the other was missing. don't know how or when. fortunately they weren't anything special, but i did laugh when the one fell in the toilet.

i also woke up this morning with a ginormous bruise on my hip. i have no idea where it came from. it didn't hurt until this evening and then it really started hurting. i think once things settle down i'm going to go to the doctor. this is the second time this has happened and part of my brain thinks something is wrong. this spring when i got poison ivy i got a shot in the hip to clear it up. since then i've had strange pains and soreness there, sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night when i roll over on it. of course that hypochondriac pessimistic part of me thinks i have some sort of cancer. then there's the whole eye issue that still plagues me. i have another eye appt. tues. morning. maybe the hip cancer has spread to my eyes : ) i know, totally stupid but fuck what's wrong w/ me???

i sort of got a job offer to move to arizona and help a friend with her stores in a few years. of course the hubs is all for it since he's lived there before but damn that's far away. and hot. no seasons, don't think i could live like that.

i also got invited to romania to visit a factory.

people have told me don't be surprised if i get snubbed next week when i'm in cologne because they don't really care about u.s. press. makes sense i guess--not much i can do for them. so i guess if that happens it will balance out my time at this show where it seems i've become somewhat sought after.

the hubs has totally held the fort down once again.

one thing about my SIL being pregnant and the thought of a new baby in the family--it's made me look at all of this product through different eyes. so many cute things i'd love to buy!

so i'll be home for two days, then off to cologne. i think i might need to take off one of those days just to pull myself together for the trip. this should be my last one until january.

odds and ends

the boy lost one of his top front teeth last night. the thing had been hanging by a thread for about a week. he looks so cute toothless! he left a note for the tooth fairy and asked her to sign her name. she did---tooth fairy. this morning he asked if she was real. i said she was if he believed in her. he's seven--do we tell him it's all a lie? last summer the girl finally came right out and asked the hard question about santa and the easter bunny and tooth fairy and we told her the truth. what a dilemma.

i'm digging my crayons, however i've discovered that more is not always better. they throw in some colors that don't really work. i mean they're too light to show up very well. i think they need my coloring expertise. i swear some day i'm also going to design coloring books because there is such a lack of good coloring books. throwing in mazes and word finds and connect the dots in a book is not a coloring book.

i have two days in the office this week, then off to vegas; two in the office next week (actually i think i'm going to just work one) and then off to germany. it's supposed to be in the 60s there. i wish the hubs was going with me--back to where we began. i never imagined going back there first alone. i always assumed that one day we'd go back together.

i have to give a shout out to big t who went to michigan this weekend to see her beloved appy trounce michigan. : ) i talked to her sunday and she was so horse i could barely hear her! the thundering herd lost saturday. oh well--it's not like i was even into football when i was there let alone now. sports just do not hold any interest for me whatsoever.

i'm back on van again. hadn't really listened to him for a month or so but man he makes me feel good.

....switch on your electric light so we can get down to what is really wrong...i long just to hold you tight, so baby i can feel you. sweet lady of the night, i shall reveal you. turn it up, turn it up a little bit higher, radio...turn it up that's enough so you know it's got soul. la la la la la la lalalallal

what a way to start your day. enjoy. embrace. embark.

do women really rule the world?

hmmm, i wonder. the hubs posed this question to me this weekend. are women really, ultimately in charge of everything?

for example:

my parents no longer have sex because my mom says so.

my bro is considering giving his dog to my parents because they're expecting a baby. now, he did display the biggest balls in bringing the dog home without asking first (something the hubs still is in awe of) but my SIL isn't really a dog person and this dog, though lazy, needs a lot of attention. so, he's considering giving it away.

he's not considering giving it away to the hubs because i say no more animals. c'mon, we have to agree four is enough right??? right??? two big dogs, an almost dead cat and a psycho cat? yes, that's enough.

so, do women wield all the power? and, if so, is it really just because of what we have between our legs? surely not.

it's monday. we're not at work. life is good : )

home, home on the range

omg this is like the first weekend (ok except for last weekend) that i've been home with nothing much to do for the weekend. it's going to be like so cool. (sorry for valley speak. even on just a sip of coffee i'm stoked about not having much of an agenda this weekend.)

so first off--TS may have to have her sweet nomenclature removed since she called me an evil frog killing beeotch : ) very funny. if you don't know what i'm talking about start reading the comments : )

it's like 9:30ish on a saturday morning. we're free until tuesday morning. we do have to go to my folks house for a cookout today, but heck, even that doesn't sound too bad to me right now.

the hubs didn't get home from his trip until about 9 last night---after getting up at like 5 a.m. needless to say he was wiped out. the kids went to bed at 10 and sometime thereafter i fell asleep on the couch because i woke up at 1am and the hubs was conked out in his recliner and i was on the couch.

i'm thinking of getting my hair cut. not really really short, but not just trimmed. when i got my passport picture taken this week it was awful. i mean i know passport pictures suck anyway, they're like driver's license pictures, it's a rule that you have to look like hell. i think this is because typically whenever you get stopped by police (or are traveling internationally) it is late at night/early morning and you've most likely been drinking/just got up. if you looked great in your passport picture they wouldn't recognize you. wow--sorry for that tangent.

i'm thinking of getting my hair cut, it's looking too long and just nasty like some washed out 80s rock star. i know the color needs done too, i just don't see having the time to get it done before my trips. i'll have to be skunk headed for another few weeks. why is hair such a pain in the ass? i wish we could just pick a color, push a button and that's the color it would be until we pushed the button again. i'm not trying to cover anything up--i mean i honestly don't think there's much, if any, gray under there. but i so do not look good as a brunette.

the hubs got his blood work back yesterday. much improved. all of his numbers (blood pressure, sugar, cholesterol) were improved but we still have to get the bad cholesterol lower and the good higher. yes, main life change that would help all across the board is to quit smoking. we've started talking about this again. i don't think i could even think about quitting until after my next two trips. then there's high point.

the last time i quit for an extended period of time (when i was pregnant w/ the boy) i did pretty well. no smoking the whole time i was knocked up, he was born in october and i didn't have my first smoke until that following april market. and hell, that was back when markets weren't even stressful to me, back when i worked with famous and crusty, ts had already left at that point.