Thursday, July 17, 2008

looking in the mirror

i just had an incredibly surreal experience. the kids got in trouble because they were fighting over the tv (again). it should be noted that there is a tv in the den (the big screen and the only tv w/ dvr hooked up) and one in the living room and one in our bedroom that basically only gets used for porn watching. oops, did i say that out loud?

anyway they were fighting so the hubs made them turn it off and then the arguing began. we are different parents than my (or the hubs') parents. most of the time this is good (hell, all of the time really) but we tend to let our kids speak their mind. the girl abuses this power and when she's getting a "talking to" she interuppts, talks back, etc.

holy shit, watching her and the hubs go at it was like watching a clip of one of his and my fights. (and our kids don't see us fight like that.) she was loud, hysterical, crying, defensive. it was mini me in action. down to the point where she puts on her martyr robe and says ok, fine i'll never say another word or i'll never do this or that, etc. just so long as this can be over and you'll stop talking about it. omg. it wouldn't have been any weirder if i'd written the script for her.

i felt a certain kinship to her, even though she was in the wrong. the conversation ended. the hubs went out on the patio for a smoke and she went off crying to her room. after a few minutes i went in, tried to hug her better but she just kept wailing and then started running her mouth again so i got up and left. now the hubs is in there talking with her.

though the boy also got a talking to he's just the opposite. he just sits there taking it all in, not saying a word. shakes his head at the appropriate times and looks repentent (not that he is).

a few weeks ago a younger mom that i work w/ said it must be cool to have an 11 yr old daughter because they're at the age where you can do girl stuff together. in a way this is true. however, my girl, though she embraces the tomboy side of herself, is a total shopping diva--the complete opposite of me. when we are out and happen to look at clothes or shoes she's always offering her opinion. she'd have me wear fuck me pumps every day of the week--she can't wait to wear heels. i say the flatter the better. anyway, the older she gets the more i see so many of my quirks and character flaws in her. i'm not saying she's a bad kid, my god, she can be one of the sweetest, most affectionate and loving kids. last night she was simply perfect. she wanted to help make dinner, she was happy, she was joking around, it was so pleasant and so unrehearsed. sometimes she does things and you know she's just waiting for her payoff, but last night was honest goodness. tonight, she's linda blair and i'm waiting for the pea soup to spew forth.

i think we've started down the moody teen road whether we like it or not.


Kristin.... said...

Oh yes, we often have the "head spinning around" from Meg one minute then hugs the next. Can you say Sybil? Argh. So it doesn't get better? Is that what you're saying? Damn you. (just kidding)

Anonymous said...

My niece, who is the same age as the Girl, is getting to be moody, too. She can cry at the drop of a hat, or for not catching the bouquet at a wedding last weekend. Geez. Were we like that? Hormones are not a good thing, as us older "girls" know. :) Sorry!

Sweet T

creative kerfuffle said...

kristin--i hate to tell you but i don't think it gets better for awhile. the girl's 11 and i don't think we've even touched the tip of the iceberg.
sweet t--yep, your niece and the girl could be sisters from other mothers. i don't remember being that moody--but i'm sure i must've been. i know fo' sho' though that i was not as sassy to my parents. that would have brought out the belt.