Wednesday, October 24, 2007

horrible daughter

you know it's not going to be a good day when you get to work and your youngest sibling has left you a voicemail in a teary voice.

i sort of knew what the call was going to be about because i called my mom at work yesterday and she was home sick. i don't often call my folks, maybe once a week if that. i called her at home, no answer. i called later in the afternoon---oops, dad and jim beam were home so for 30 minutes he went on and on about how mom is depressed and she did this at the same time last year.

for those of you close to your parents or who have semi-normal relationships with your parents you will no doubt see me as being quite a bitchy, horrible daughter and i do feel bad but i got over it years ago.

so i called my sibling back, i'm a glutton for punishment.

her: hey (in a whiney voice) mom's probably going to be mad about this but i just thought i should let you and bro know, she's really depressed.
me: yeah, i talked to dad yesterday and he mentioned that.
her: but it's really bad. the house is a wreck.
me: uh, the house is always a wreck.
her: yeah, but it's worse. she slept all day saturday and didn't go to work monday or tuesday. she went to the doctor.
me: yeah, i know. what did the doc say?
her: they're giving her some more medicine.
me: ok.
her: i just don't think she's going to be able to do thanksgiving. (my mom, knowing that her house needs like a year's worth of blood, sweat and tears put into it, has invited all of her siblings here for thanksgiving. mom has three bedrooms. she's invited like like 12 people)
me: hmm, well has she told them not to come?
her: no, but i don't think she's going to be able to do thanksgiving. (i'm thinking my sis thinks my bro and i should pony up and take over the turkey day event)
me: hmm, well, i guess if she doesn't get her shit together she's going to have to cancel it.
her: i just feel really bad for her. i think i'll call her sisters and let them know why she may not be answering their calls.
me: well, there's not really anything for us to do. unless they (our parents) want to change their lives and start doing that we can't do anything. they're adults.
her: i know, i just thought you and bro should know what's going on since you don't see the day to day stuff.
(we don't see the day to day stuff because we don't practically live at our parents' house and have them pick up the slack in taking care of our kids and paying our bills--sorry, did i say that out loud?).

ok, sorry to immerse you in the family drama but i sometimes wish i lived far far away--except from my bro and sil and nephew and little bun in the oven : ) (they find out the week before thanksgiving what we're having.) i'm so freaking excited!!!


Anonymous said...

You're not horrible, you're just fed up. Depression in a friend or loved one is hard to handle, for everyone involved. I have found myself getting really annoyed with people I know when they're depressed. I think it's frustrating because we know we can't do anything for them, and it's really hard to watch and be patient and sympathetic. Especially when it happens over and over again.

Sweet T

Anonymous said...

Turkey Day is soooo not at my house! If I haven't heard from you all year (or more) don't expect to see me on the holiday and be best buddies.

creative kerfuffle said...

turkey day isn't going to be at my house either! frankly, the hubs and i don't want to do christmas at our house this year either. : )

Sweet T
(dear lord that cymbalta commercial JUST came on) i think if i liked my sister and parents i'd care more but i'm really just numb about them. plus, in those corners of my mind i like to ignore i'm petrified that i'll turn into them.