Sunday, March 25, 2007

High maintenance

Over the last several months I've discovered a few things about myself, one of which is that, contrary to my former belief, I am high maintenance.

The Hubs told me this once before but I denied it and really didn't believe it simply because to me high maintenance implied that I need things. High maintenance to me was women who had to drive certain cars, wear certain labels, have their hair, nails, etc. done on a weekly basis, demanding lots of material things. They need things just the way they want them and I'm totally not like that.

However, I am high emotional maintenance. Perhaps not to the average person who comes in contact with me, but certainly to those I hold near and dear. I joke about being bi-polar, maybe I am, but I have very fast mood swings. One minute I'm flying high and then, as if for no apparent reason, I'm moody, needy, etc. I don't think I'm crazy, at least not any more so than most people, but I am quite emotional and my moods do not always have any basis in reality or even any good reason for changing.

The Hubs has put up with this for a lot of years and frankly I sometimes wonder why he does it. I think it's bad now--one day I'm happy the next pissed off and for no real reason--but when I was a teenager and in college--oh my God it's a wonder he even stuck around. In high school these mood swings meant we broke up every other week. In college, when we were not technically dating but still long distance friends I went between calling him every day to not speaking to him for months. One minute I loved him the next minute I wanted him to call so he could make a guy jealous--yes, I did this one time, very bitchy.

Though I don't think I'm quite as bad now--we don't break up every week and I don't use people to make him jealous : ) --I do still vacillate (nice word huh?) between moods a little more often than I think most people do. The curse of a creative mind? The curse of a crazy mind? I don't know.


Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that one of my favorite flowers is the rose. Despite the beauty of the rose, you are very likely to get stuck by one as they are full of thorns. I have found in life that it is the prettiest roses that have the most thorns. You could curse the rose for sticking you, and choose a new favorite flower, or you could do as I have and realize that in its own way, the thorn is part of the rose, and therefor adds to the beauty. What is excellent, seldom comes easy.


creative kerfuffle said...

mmmm, guess that makes me a rose? i'm t-horny? ; )