Sunday, June 10, 2007

Wedding weekend

My friends Donut and Ninja are finally married : ) It was a gorgeous wedding. Aside from family weddings, I've not been to many and this one was simply the most elegant and beautiful.

It's a given that I was verklempt much of the weekend. Donut is the younger sister I wish I actually had instead of the one I do but she's also one of my closest, dearest friends. During the rehearsal on Friday my first bout of tears came when I saw her rehearsing with Ninja. The second bout came at the rehearsal dinner with the gift and card she gave me.

(I just realized this may be a bit disjointed, it's 9:30 Sunday night and I'm drained.)

Anyway, the setting for the wedding was sort of like a castle, complete with bridge to the huge wooden door, stone building surrounding by ponds and fountains. The ceremony was impressive from the harpist and the vows they chose to the blessings and music. I made it through the reading without completely breaking down but I did have a few moments I thought I wouldn't make it. I did fine until I looked up and Donut was looking at me then I just about lost it. Back to reading straight from the notes without looking at her and I finished without too many tears.

She looked simply beautiful, despite the fact that it was hotter than hell and of course she was a bit nervous, though I don't think you would have been able to tell if you didn't know her well.

The reception was in something called the Crystal Gardens, which looked like a huge glass green house except it wasn't a green house. They danced to Into the Mystic by Van, of course I about lost it then, what a great choice of music. (They also played Crazy Love by Van at one point--another good choice.) When she danced with her Dad and Ninja danced with his Mom I couldn't help casting myself 20 years into the future and picturing The Hubs and I doing the same thing. I honestly think I'll have to have a Valium or something before my kids' weddings because I'll be a blubbering idiot.

Getting married is such a huge milestone in life, the next step. Oddly enough it's really just a blip on the map once you've been married almost 15 years and it becomes one of many happy, joyous milestones.

After the reception dinner the kids' danced a little bit before The Hubs took them to spend the night at my parents' house since we'd gotten a room at the hotel where Donut/Ninja, wedding party were staying. We rarely actually get a night out so it was pretty fun. The Boy and Girl were quite impressive on the dance floor. I really have no idea where The Boy gets his dance moves because it's not like we watch MTV or he's hanging out at dance clubs, but he's certainly got rhythm. So does The Girl--she's more graceful and he's more hip hop mixed with John Travolta. Very fun to watch them both.

After the reception we partied some more at the hotel in Donut's parents' room. Her parents are pretty cool, this being the first time I'd actually met them. There were probably 15 or more people, mostly younger, hanging out in their suite drinking and smoking for a few hours and they didn't bat an eye. I don't know what time we actually made it back to our room, The Hubs said something like 3 a.m. but I know we didn't make it to the 9:30 breakfast this morning. We did see Donut and Ninja before we left though--they head off for their honeymoon tomorrow. She'll be gone a week. I won't see her for 2 weeks (I'll be off to my conference as she's getting back.).

I can't believe she's actually married : )

total non sequitor but the hubs and i were talking the other night about my blog and the fact that it has evolved from what it started out as. initially it was more like a journal and then as i started letting friends/family know about it it turned into something else. i've talked about this before but knowing the people who read it naturally i censor myself and what i write.

i thought about this and i guess if i really just wanted to throw caution to the wind and write honestly i'd shock and maybe offend some people. if i wanted to write openly and honestly i'd keep a journal, but i've found i like the interaction of the blog. i wonder what you think about the things i write. i know not everyone comments and that's fine. i'm sure lots of times you're bored to tears when i ramble on and that's fine. but i do like thinking (and don't burst my balloon if it's not true) that sometimes i make you laugh, make you think something you might not have thought before or maybe make you reflect on things.

another non sequitor---my kids are smart. i know this and i do take partial genetic credit and some credit for how we've raised them, but i can't take all the credit--they're just smart as hell. today when we picked them up from my mom's house the girl was talking about this and that. i know she watches things other kids don't or maybe shouldn't--CSI, discovery health etc. she knows where babies come from, she's watched it on tv and we answer any questions she has about any of it--sex, babies, death, etc. the hubs still shakes his head because by the time both of my kids were two they knew the correct names for ALL of their body parts. i got tired of hearing my pee pee this and my pee pee that to describe everything so i told them the names for everything--the boy doesn't quite have this down pat though because he says fuhgina. anyway, the girl is talking about menopause with my mom (!) and periods etc. and telling us she gets to watch "the" movie next year in 5th grade. my mom said i watched it in 5th grade (which i don't remember) and that she was surprised at some of the things we learned about. like what i asked--she mouthed the word masturbation. the hubs said the word masturbation. the girl asked what is masturbation. is that sex she asked. sort of the hubs said. somehow the conversation turned to something else and she didn't press for an explanation. the whole time i'm staring at him asking wtf! why give her that word to worry over and ask about. i'm not ready to have that conversation with her. i don't know how to have that conversation with her. i want to at some point because i do think it should be talked about with girls since it's such an open thing with boys. but i don't want to have that conversation with her right now.

does that involve a tutorial? do you have to give instructions? is there a book? i don't know about this stuff, i mean i don't know how to talk to her about it. i think everyone discovers it on their own but i don't want her to think it's wrong or bad or dirty. i want to raise my kids with a healthy regard for their bodies and sexuality---not to be promiscuous---but not to think they'll go blind or go to hell for something natural.

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