today i was poking around the various blogs i read. it's so weird, this blogging thing. i stumble across a blog sometimes and then, either through their links or comments, find my way to others and then i become a voyeur. very strange, getting wrapped up in people's lives that i don't know and will never meet. i'm sucked in by their writing and then find myself wrapped up in their lives. i'm waiting for monday when a girl in seattle is have a c-section. waiting patiently for mrs. a to post again and wondering how life with her kids is going.
anyway, on one of the blogs i read this morning she did this exercise. you write something you've wanted to say but never have or would to someone you know/knew. there is no explanation, no back story, etc. so i thought i might give it a try.
1. No matter how hard you try, we will never have the relationship you want. I can't ever forgive you for the things you didn't do.
2. If you weren't in my life I'm pretty sure I'd either be in a mental hospital or floundering around, lost and broken.
3. I hate that our friendship disintegrated and i'd really like to change that.
4. Why can't you be more open with your feelings?
5. Why didn't you show me love?
6. Why are you such a freaking bitch?
7. You will probably never know how much I wanted you and how much I want to have a perfect relationship with you.
8. I'm so proud of the things you do that sometimes it makes my heart feel like it's going to explode.
9. I'm glad you turned your shit around because there for awhile I was so very worried about you and it scared me.