move along, it's just more bitching

oy vey. if you are tired of reading about me whining (i know i am) move along.

so i already wrote about failing that online copy editing test, i'm still reeling a bit from that, because, really, it's what i've been doing for the last 15 yrs or so. yes, i know i don't always have the best grammar, punctuation, etc. HERE, but when it comes to real work, i do.

i got another rejection email this morning--second or third one from a company i've sent resumes to since getting laid off last year.

i'm so tired of the rejection emails--really, tell me exactly why it is that i didn't get the job. you hated my resume? i'm over qualified? not qualified? WHAT am i doing wrong???

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then there is the party i mentioned. i am probably making too much out of this and really, if people don't come i suppose it serves me right since i've been an absentee friend for a long time. we invited the normal crew plus a few new faces and up until today all i've had were nos. i know it's summer and i know people have plans and really, i'm sure all of their reasons are legit. i think i'm just ultra sensitive about rejection right now because of the job stuff. my friend sweet t is the first bright spot on that as she is hopeful they can come.

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this also could be chalked up to my ultra sensitivity/paranoia, but my sister posted this on FB today:

"I am so thankful for all the things I have. I am thankful that my husband and I are not materialistic people. I am thankful that even though his car broke down the other day, he was able to fix it. I am thankful for all of my family and friends. Sometimes I think I forget about how great my life is. I might not have the biggest house or the best car, but I have what I need, who needs more?"

reading it w/out knowing any better you'd think, wow, she has a good outlook. i read it and think...she's totally digging at us and the hubs is going to be really pissed. i base my thoughts on the fact that...that is how my sister/mom operate; the hubs recently made FB comments talking about the car being in the shop and the possibility of us relocating; being that i'm 12 yrs older than my sister and have actually worked all my life for what i have i do have more stuff and a bigger house but i honestly do not think i'm materialistic. i certainly don't have the best cars.

our house is bigger than my sister's apartment, but it is not extravagant, we have no spare bedrooms or unused bathrooms. it's a 1970s ranch for god's sake. before we lived here we lived in a trailer (which when you live in one you call it a mobile home, like that sounds any better) for about 10 yrs. of course when we were living there she was still living at home and having babies from different daddies and spending time in the hospital when things got too tough.

i don't think it's materialistic to want to be able to send my kids to college and give them experiences and things i never had. of course this is totally snarky and hateful but i don't really think she has to worry about her kids going to college. (yeah, i know, it's bitchy).

gah---i need to shake off all of this wallowing and negativity. seriously, i'm making myself sick of me, i can only imagine the eye rolling y'all must be doing when you come here. blech.