Friday, July 30, 2010

hello, my name is ck and i'm a spoiled brat

i had an interview this morning, 8:30 am. it went well i suppose. i may have an unfair, negative prejudice about this particular company just because of the things i've heard about it for years. their benefits suck. their pay scale sucks. etc. these are things i have heard, i do not know first hand because none of that was discussed today. the person i interviewed w/ was very nice, i think she was pleased w/ me, etc. it will be a few weeks before i get called back (to interview w/ another person whom i was supposed to meet w/ today also but she was tied up).

i would not hate working there i suppose. i guess my level of interest would depend on the salary/benefits.

however, i realized, driving home, that i am spoiled. the silver lining of being laid off that i don't talk about nearly enough (especially in the summer) is being w/ my kids. summer is hard--being a mom 24/7 and not having the resources to go and do as much as they/i'd like. but i love being here when they get home from school. i like being able to get the house work and errands done so they don't bog down our weekend. though i've been slack lately about the timing of dinner, since being laid off we have mostly eaten dinner earlier, before the boy heads out to karate class at 6pm.

going back to work, though a huge necessity, will change our dynamic again. if i got this particular job my commute would most likely be 45-60 minutes (depending on traffic). it took me 45 mins to get there this morning but w/out traffic it took me 30 mins to get home. my old commute was about half that most of the time.

part of the reason i wanted that garden job (aside from the fact that it would have been cool) was because it was in my town and my commute might have been 5 mins.

going back to work will rob us of family time. it will make our evenings rushed again, even more so since the boy is in karate every night. dinners will be late. there will be late homework and keeping up the house/errands will move back to evenings and weekends.

i know, i know. i bitch about not having a job and then bitch about the possibility of getting a job. oy vey. i know i have to work, but it's going to take some adjusting that's for sure. (to be clear i have not had a job offer yet so i know i am totally jumping the gun.)

however--it is friday. we are having our luau tomorrow and we ended up w/ a bigger crowd than i expected. which is another thing i could bitch about and am never happy either way. i always invite this big group of people (partly assuming from the get go that 1/2 won't come) and then the majority come and i'm so glad to see them all because i don't see people much any more, but then i have little time to actually spend a lot of time w/ any one person. yeah, i'm a spoiled brat. i have said several times that i'm going to pare down my invite list but then i start thinking of people to invite and people i haven't seen forever and the list grows. dammit.


broad minded said...

That is the way of the world, but I get what you are saying. It is very easy to get used to a new routine, especially one you have been in for so long, so readjusting would be a battle. That makes total sense. Glad it went well though!

cheatymoon said...

Have a great party tomorrow!

I hear you on the commuting. I couldn't do it.

I have a 5 minute commute and I work "part-time". Ha.

drollgirl said...

ay yi yi. there are huge drawbacks to having a job, for SURE, but it is also nice to get a paycheck. bah. i wish life was structured differently, but here we are.

i am saddled with the hour-plus commute, but i live in a nice neighborhood and i can afford my rent. the closer i move to work, the more unaffordable it becomes. but losing 10+ hours a week in commuting is MADDENING and might be cutting years off of my life. ugh. it is all such a struggle, but i know it could be worse. humph.

Just B said...

from a fellow spoiled brat, I think that every situation has the good and the bad. But when every decision seems so important because we have an eye constantly on the bank account, it's hard to weigh anything reasonably.

In fact, I would say we are not spoiled brats, but rather have to look every situation from both sides. Since everything is up in the air, we can't get too attached to anything right now and the best way to do that is to shoot holes into what ever is in front of us.

Penny said...

I completely understand this. I do this all the time...I whine and cry about something, then I get my way but yet it isn't EXACTLY right. It is just so hard to balance family/work especially when work is a necessity and not something we just do to pass the time/earn EXTRA money.