i tried to embed the utube video for this but alas my skillz are lacking today.
i've been in a bit of a funk this week. i'm chalking it up to the fire across the street and the fact that things are back to "normal" now and it's not "vacation" time any longer. i think while the kids were out of school and we were celebrating the holidays i could sort of pretend i was on vacation from a job and not really unemployed. ha. welcome back to reality.
but i'm not going to keep wallowing. there's no point. i will find a job, it's just a matter of when. in the meantime i "gotta be strong, gotta be tough, gotta be wiser" because all i know "is love will save the day."
and no, not love in the sappy, general sense of the word. don't get me wrong, the hubs is my rock most of the time. i'm talking about all kinds of love, love for self, for the kids, for the hubs. all of it. i'm not sure if that's making much sense, it does in my head. it's not the oh, we're living on love and we're doing great and everything is rosy, because frankly people who say that make me want to hurl. but, the essence of love does carry me through most things.
today could have been much like yesterday, a day where i straightened up the house, looked, as always, online for jobs, farmed on stupid facebook (ok, i have penguins on my farm there now and fuck me if i don't think that's cool as shit) and waited for everyone to get home. it could have been, but, i had to run out to tarjay to pick up one of the hubs' prescriptions.
i honestly do not know how i have fallen prey to this company, but even if i'm just going in there for medicine, toilet paper and laundry detergent (and some extra powerful lotion cos dude my family is itchy and full of static and i want it to stop), like i was today, i came out pumped. maybe it's because i was primed for uplifting by the song above on my way there. maybe it's because when i went to pay for the meds she said my balance was zero because insurance covered it all. maybe it's because they put this strap thing on my bundle of cottonelle that served as a handle and i thought that was cool as shit. maybe it's because, even though they were out of the stuff to make my caramel machiatto at the tarjay starbucks, i still got a cup of coffee and it was free because my bro gave me a giftcard he didn't want. i'll let you soak that up, yeah, the coffee crave skipped him apparently cos dude doesn't do starbucks. but i benefited from it.
also, i made up a word today. slurmit. it is a slug and a hermit, which is what i've been lately. i need to make some changes. i need to start walking again and actually try out the damn wii fit again. i want me and my family to be healthy, not slugs.
oh, and to top off this day so far, i heard brown eyed girl, by van morrison, on the radio on the way home. i tried to embed that video too but couldn't find a version i liked. (partly because i found a live version and, as much as i love going to concerts, i am a weird one in that when i listen to cds/songs i don't really like the live versions). this song always reminds me of the girl--not for the content/lyrics, obviously, but because she is a beautiful brown eyed girl. both of my kids are brown eyed, which is interesting because the hubs and i are both hazel-eyed.