Wednesday, January 6, 2010

gotta be

i tried to embed the utube video for this but alas my skillz are lacking today.

i've been in a bit of a funk this week. i'm chalking it up to the fire across the street and the fact that things are back to "normal" now and it's not "vacation" time any longer. i think while the kids were out of school and we were celebrating the holidays i could sort of pretend i was on vacation from a job and not really unemployed. ha. welcome back to reality.

but i'm not going to keep wallowing. there's no point. i will find a job, it's just a matter of when. in the meantime i "gotta be strong, gotta be tough, gotta be wiser" because all i know "is love will save the day."

and no, not love in the sappy, general sense of the word. don't get me wrong, the hubs is my rock most of the time. i'm talking about all kinds of love, love for self, for the kids, for the hubs. all of it. i'm not sure if that's making much sense, it does in my head. it's not the oh, we're living on love and we're doing great and everything is rosy, because frankly people who say that make me want to hurl. but, the essence of love does carry me through most things.

today could have been much like yesterday, a day where i straightened up the house, looked, as always, online for jobs, farmed on stupid facebook (ok, i have penguins on my farm there now and fuck me if i don't think that's cool as shit) and waited for everyone to get home. it could have been, but, i had to run out to tarjay to pick up one of the hubs' prescriptions.

i honestly do not know how i have fallen prey to this company, but even if i'm just going in there for medicine, toilet paper and laundry detergent (and some extra powerful lotion cos dude my family is itchy and full of static and i want it to stop), like i was today, i came out pumped. maybe it's because i was primed for uplifting by the song above on my way there. maybe it's because when i went to pay for the meds she said my balance was zero because insurance covered it all. maybe it's because they put this strap thing on my bundle of cottonelle that served as a handle and i thought that was cool as shit. maybe it's because, even though they were out of the stuff to make my caramel machiatto at the tarjay starbucks, i still got a cup of coffee and it was free because my bro gave me a giftcard he didn't want. i'll let you soak that up, yeah, the coffee crave skipped him apparently cos dude doesn't do starbucks. but i benefited from it.

also, i made up a word today. slurmit. it is a slug and a hermit, which is what i've been lately. i need to make some changes. i need to start walking again and actually try out the damn wii fit again. i want me and my family to be healthy, not slugs.

oh, and to top off this day so far, i heard brown eyed girl, by van morrison, on the radio on the way home. i tried to embed that video too but couldn't find a version i liked. (partly because i found a live version and, as much as i love going to concerts, i am a weird one in that when i listen to cds/songs i don't really like the live versions). this song always reminds me of the girl--not for the content/lyrics, obviously, but because she is a beautiful brown eyed girl. both of my kids are brown eyed, which is interesting because the hubs and i are both hazel-eyed.


Not Your Aunt B said...

Oh, Target. How I love thee. I love it best in the mornings with all the free food samples and coffee samples and pizza samples. Mmm.

And brown eyed girl is one of my fave songs. Because I have brown eyes.

Kristin.... said...

LOVE the penguins.

I'm having a day. I like your word. That's how I feel too.

Hotch Potchery said...

I think I need a blog lift. It is supposed to snow here tomorrow, sounds like a good project.

I get overwhelming feelings of luck/love/life that pull me through when it seems like lots of stuff just sucks balls.

Hang in there!!!

cheatymoon said...

Here's what you need to do: Drive up here. I will hand over the box of penguins (because I have been thus far too lazy to mail them). Then we will drive over to my Target for some shopping, whilst listening to my insane Van Morrison collection in my car. Of course, we will stop off at Starbucks drive thru (and if I had a gift card, I would give it to you, because I prefer Tim Horton's.)
Doesn't that sound like the perfect girlfriend date? Ha.
Also, have you ever seen a VM concert? I did, but it was almost 20 yrs ago.
I'm in a bit of a funk too this week. Hormonal, I think.

Surely said...

I'm brown eyed too! (:-D I love when Kev sings that song! And ME TOO with the live recordings. No thanks!

Doesn't drink COFFEE!?!?! How is that humanly possible?

drollgirl said...

target is the shit! god! it is kind of dangerous to go there without a list! ack! but i still love it there.

and live versions of music ARE WEIRD if you aren't at the concert. for some reason they just don't seem right. weird.

sometimes sticking around the house too much can do weird things. i find i am anxious to go do stuff lately, but i make myself and it usually works out. mind you, i don't go to that many places, and i am eager to get home, but i still usually have a good time when i venture out. for whatever that is worth.

i will sign off now. i am making zero sense. as usual! :)

broad minded said...

I really did a blog post too, don't faint.

target really does make everything better. how they do it, i don't know and i don't want to frankly, sometimes you need the mystery of not knowing.

btw - the neighborhood is having a tough run of it, ain't it?

finally, any word on the local mag gig yet? I am rooting for you in the hopes that you will throw TONS of freelance my way.

and i still want to go see that movie - so when you are done being a slurmit? then let me know . . .

Gal Friday said...

Yowza! I had completely forgotten about that one-hit wonder song--"You Gotta Be..")!
Thanks for the link.
And the penguin colony(is that what your penguin farm at Facebook looks like?).
And for "slurmit". Somed ays, you just have to be "slurmit".

Astarte said...

My favorite version of this song is from the movie 'Object of My Affection' - it's sung by a kids' choir, with a little girl doing all the lead work. It makes me tear up every time!

Girl, I am joining you in Funkytown. I have been so down lately. I keep thinking I'm going to write about it, and then think, eeh, why bother. Maybe it would make me feel better.

IB said...

Judging by the nature of this post, I'd say the coffee kicked in effectively.

Happy new year

Fragrant Liar said...

I was a slurmit all through the holidays, and I'm damn happy about it. I get it though, it's not the holidays anymore. You have a great attitude about your situation, even if you're in a bit of a slump right now. Keep your chin up, girl, and turn up the Brown-Eyed Girl.

P.S. Seriously, my word verification is FLEAS. What up wit' dat? You tryin' to tell me somethin'?

The Mayor said...

I, too am a Van Morrison fan. Sha na na na na na nana nana na.....

In my opinion, Target rules retail.
Except when I go the the 2 in Chicago they are kind of ghetto, poorly stocked.