Monday, December 21, 2009

timing is everything

i think i had more of the christmas spirit a week ago than i do now. i am tense. i am anxious and i don't know why. i'm a bit sad, thinking of our losses this year. thinking of my brother-in-laws sons, who are about the ages of my kids, not having their dad for christmas. sad, thinking my grandma won't be here on christmas eve, even though she never seemed to enjoy her gifts.

i have been baking like i think i'm a food network star or something. baking for god's sake. i made cranberry scones today. i don't know why i thought scones were so fabulous. maybe mine just weren't. they're ok, but i thought they'd be yummier.

the snow is still here, though melting. i really have loved it though.

i think i'm a bit overwhelmed by the gifts we've bought the kids and each other (though of course i have no idea what i'm getting and i don't think the hubs knows what he's getting) and i sort of feel guilty/greedy/materialistic. i hate that. normally i'm really not materialistic at all.

why was i more in the spirit of things last week and not this week, when the holiday is days away? i need a little christmas, right this very minute.


justsomethoughts... said...

this is nature's way of putting a dm,aper on things
this is because it's better than you think
and it will be

justsomethoughts... said...

thats a damper.
even if i cant type worth a damn.

Firegirl said...

go watch some cheezy holiday television...FaLaLaLA Lifetime or ABC Family or Hallmark STAT.

cheatymoon said...

I feel the same way. I just want to get it over with (or go take a nap and wake up w/ it over) (it's the nap that's important)

... There is so much tension and angst right now w/ the boy and his dad.

And I have a damn cold/sinusy thing (hence the need for the nap).

Off to school... today's our last day.

Gal Friday said...

I hear ya on the not-quite-in-the-spirit-of-things this week, and also feeling like we have gotten our kid TOO much(especially since she has been an unhelpful grouchy pill lately).
I baked all day Sunday--rum cakes and sugar cookies and I always kind of freak out at how much butter goes into those things!!
Try to rest and not feel guilty...

Gal Friday said...

Oh, and like Only said, I, too, want to just pull up the covers and wake up when it's all over. How's THAT for some holiday cheer?

Pearl said...

There's a lot of emphasis put on such a short little day in December... Love, giving, eating, goodwill, travel, decorating, cleaning, baking, cooking -- add to that the shortened availability of the sun, the potentially dreadful weather, kitchen disasters, tired children, and -- oh, good God. What a corner we paint ourselves into!


Kristin.... said...

Yep, I hear ya.

Penny said...

I think the amount of stuff we bought is starting to make me anxious too! We had originally said a very small holiday but I just started spending and at the time it made me happy and now I'm fretting over January bills...Stupid.

I don't ever really like scones, I think they are sort of dry and bland by design...they are supposed to compliment your coffee or something I think.

Anonymous said...

I had a recipe for cinammon bun scones that I love because it has icing. I have made them on Christmas morning 2 years in a row, but my hubby confessed he didn't like them.
Guess what they are getting this year? Pop a can of Grands biscuits!
Thanks for watching my kid also by the way!