Thursday, December 17, 2009

help me make it through the night

...i don't care what's right or wrong? i won't think about tomorrow. something me make it through the night." this is a horrible, horrible country/western song from my 70s childhood--i'm sure my parents have this album somewhere, charlie pride? no idea. for some bizarre reason when i was trying to think of a clever title for this post this song jumped into the front of my brain and charlie pride's voice screamed at me to type it. i might be possessed.

ok, so, i survived yesterday (made it through the night) thanks to a couple of things.

first, in a very uncharacteristic move, i started baking w/ christmas music in the background. the girl helped some when she got home from school. i baked four mini-loaves of banana bread, a double batch of snickerdoodles and another batch of cakeballs. the girl is taking the cakeballs to school and i think i'm sending baked goods as teachers gifts in w/ the boy.

second, sexual healing. i haven't talked about it much and haven't been keeping score on the sidebar for a while, but, holy crap, sexual healing really does make you feel better. (now the song strokin' just popped into my head. thank you clarence carter. i'll be strokin' to the east, strokin to the west....).

third, my sister called and apologized to my brother. while he is still angry i think he will calm down and take into account that she actually called and tried to explain and apologized sincerely. i have no doubt that perhaps after christmas my brother will have to lighten his baggage load some, which will involve unloading some of it at my parents' feet. granted, they deserve to be carrying 95% of our loads, but at least whatever will happen will wait until after christmas. in my usual passive/aggressiveness i sat this one out mostly. i spoke w/ both my mom and sis yesterday, but the conversations were not about this email issue and i basically acted like nothing had happened. i could hear the nervousness in my mom's voice, worried that i would bring up the elephant in the corner. i will be baking cookies, w/ my sister and her kids at my mom's on wednesday. i will bring my nephew, gameboy, since bro/sil will be working. part of me is looking at this cookie baking thing as my charity work for the year--voluntarily spending that amount of time w/ my sis/mom.

fourth, a wee bit of herbal essence (not shampoo) goes a long way to a good night's sleep.

fifth, the hubs took today off to be w/ me. not because of what's been going on these last couple of days, but because we haven't had any us time in forever. he's been (and will be) busy w/ the job lately and won't be able to take off a lot of time at christmas--like maybe one day off during the kids upcoming two-week break. today, at least until around 3pm, the day is ours.

in un-related news, two of the jobs i've applied for recently have me a tad excited. i've lost count of how many resumes i've sent out, most of them w/out any hope of actually getting the job. but these two--one for a local monthly city mag and another for a new newspaper starting up next month, have me hopeful. i am qualified for either job, both seem interesting. it's been less than a week since i sent in my resumes so i don't look to hear anything before christmas either way. i'm crossing my fingers.

yesterday i had a mini-post-coital dream. you know how when the sex has been so awesome and your whole body has just turned to jello and you skirt around that edge of falling into an almost drunken sleep? you are semi-aware of what's going on but if you had 10 more minutes you'd be dead asleep? well, during that time i had this dream that i went to work for this cute little bakery that just popped up on our main street this week. i need to visit this place. it doesn't look like something our little town would have. it looks like a cake boss type of place, it looks like a charm city cakes type of place, though much, much smaller. anyway, i had this vision of me working there, perhaps doing odds and ends at first, grunt work or whatever people who don't really know how to bake do in a bakery, sort of like an apprentice. the owner would teach me to bake. yeah, that was my mini-dream. of course this dream came after (ha, it was a post-coital dream, get it) my marathon baking session so that might have had something to do w/ it.


Penny said...

I don't consider myself passive/aggressive but I do think that sometimes it is better to just let things go and move on, I think you did the right thing.

You know that show Cake Boss. I used to live 2 blocks from there...I miss my old house, but it has been really great to be around family!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you jobwise. Your comment made me laugh the other day because I've been jealous of you too when you have been able to do freelance work. I was sad thinking no one would want me to do freelance counseling, but I guess I was wrong since that is basically what I am doing!

cheatymoon said...

There's got to be a snarky comment involving cake balls, sex, and that dream somewhere, but I don't have it.

Sending you good job mojo. ;-) And continued good luck w/ the family situation.

And yes, I'm reading blogs at work.

Astarte said...

When there's nothing you can say to improve things, it's best to just keep your mouth shut, which is what you've done, and I don't think that's passive-aggressive. It's smart. There's no point in stirring the pot when Xmas is so close, not because you care what they think, but because the kids will all be there too, and if the whole place is tense and there's fighting, it will ruin their fun as well. Besides, you're already doing a LOT more than I would - I would NEVER, EVER invite my SIL to bake at my house for a day. God. The very idea makes me need a BIG drink.

Kristin.... said...

Family stuff just blows. I have learned as I've gotten older to just shut my mouth, as Astarte said. I can vent to D about it all and that works for me. I would never bring anything up to our families that bothers me; not worth the aggravation or the resulting meltdowns from family.
I'm sorry you have to go thru all of this.

justsomethoughts... said...

herbal essence is wonderful
and thats all i have to say about that

Not Your Aunt B said...

I'm all about sexual healing- it does help! And hey, if you get dessert dreams, even better.

Sending you good vibes on the job and cookie front!