Wednesday, June 4, 2008

it's me, wallowing some more

have you ever been in a situation where you physically feel unwell because of the stressful events around you? where you've felt overwhelmed and clueless and hopeless. that's the biggest part. hopeless. the opposite of hopeful.

so my fucktastic week as i've named it now, not just a day but a week, continued today when my boss told me that me and my new staffer will be moving locations. i work in an office that actually has a handful of offices that are occupied by the "managers" of which i am on paper but not in reality. then there are pods (cubicles). some cubicles, like mine, have high walls. like i can stand up in my pod and not see over the top. i do not have a door, but i have a window. i am sort of secluded and i like it. my boss said me and my new person have to move into his immediate area. the pods are half walls. it is like (it is) a newsroom. i have never worked in a newsroom. i never wanted to work in a newsroom. i don't think i can concentrate in a newsroom.

where we are now we are sort of on our own for the most part. perhaps this is why he is moving us. big brother wants to keep his eye on me. big brother wants to kill the last bit of anything good i've felt about this place by quashing my creativity and independence and stomping it into oblivion.

the pods/desks there are so close together you hear every phone conversation. if your eyes leave your computer screen they will meet other eyes.

i feel physically sick.

so if you or anyone you know knows of a job that is available, let me know. i've been keeping my eye out randomly, but i think i need to seriously start looking. i can type pretty fast (and not look at my fingers). i can read and write pretty well (despite what you may have read here). i can be professional when i need to be.


broad minded said...

i don't even know what to say. i am so sorry.

now is the time to develop that nose picking habit i guess.

Kristin.... said...

I don't know what to say. That just sucks. I know I couldn't work like that. I only had 2 jobs before I retired, but I had offices in both and couldn't work any other way. I was ALWAYS on the phone, and I am easily distracted by other conversations.
We wallow together in our lousy weeks.

Anonymous said...

I will ask around to see if anyone I know knows of any openings. I did mention it to a friend last night. That really sucks and I can understand the stress-physically ill connection.

Sweet T

Astarte said...

Ugh, office crap. I worked for a large defense contractor for years, and there were near-constant layoffs, or the threat of them. Finally I couldn't STAND it anymore and volunteered to be laid off rather than have yet more of other people's work piled on me. My manager almost had a heart attack. That, my friend, was almost worth all the crap, just to see the look on her face as she realized her work pony was ditching.

creative kerfuffle said...

thanks for the support guys. really. astarte--if i could afford to i'd totally quit. i care the family insurance and make a decent salary that i can't seem to replace right now. however, i am looking.
they look on your boss's face though--man that sounds priceless!