Thursday, April 10, 2008

the sex talk

oy vey. tonight at school parents got to preview the videos our young, impressionable 5th graders are going to be watching in about a month.

these are not the same movies i saw in 5th grade. first of all, they're videos, which did not exist 30 years ago. we watched films. remember those? these were actually tastefully done. they talked about puberty and the changes that will happen in boys and girls. there is also a video about aids. i thought that one was pretty lame because it really was more about kids saying what they liked and what they would miss if they made stupid choices (aka shared needles or had sex). it sounded a bit preachy to me.

some parents at the meeting were obviously agitated and really worried about dealing with these issues. the school can only say and do so much and the teachers told us that the kids are allowed to write down questions and they will answers some but i guess the questions that need in-depth explaining are referred to the parents. all of this is fine with me because we've been pretty open with the kids about their bodies, sex, etc. they can ask us pretty much anything.

however, tonight she asked something we weren't quite ready to answer. she's never come right out and asked about the sex act. she knows parents have sex and that's how babies are made. we have not given her the specifics. tonight she asked (because of something she saw on tv) how gay men have sex. uh, i'm just not ready to tell her these things.

sometimes i do question things that we've done that can't be undone--like some of the shows the kids watch. the girl loves csi, law and order, etc. frequently there are sexual issues on these shows. we watch them with her and answer many, many questions. she probably knows way more than she should and way more than other kids her age. however, i think the key has been that we talk about it and she's not afraid to ask us anything. i am not looking to the school system to teach my kids about sex so these upcoming lessons do not bother me.

some of the parents at the meeting tonight are obviously not ready for these discussions to take place. aside from not being ready to tell the girl that tab b can go in slot a, c or d or wherever, i'm not too worried about what she's going to learn in school.


{sue} said...

Being open and talking is the best thing!! But oy - trying to explain more alternate versions of intercourse. Ack. Not ready for that either! (Oldest is in 4th grade, so it's coming.) My problem is the topic always comes up in the car with 7, 4 and 2 year old there too. So the little kids are quite educated on this topic!

creative kerfuffle said...

yeah, get ready for the talk. in NC all 5th graders study it and then again in 7th grade. talking about it abstractly is one thing, the mechanics of it is another thing, be it alternative or not. the girl is pretty good about not bringing most things up around the boy (2nd grade) but sometimes it does come up and we just muddle through. i know we talk more about it w/ our kids than my parents ever did w/ me.