Tuesday, February 6, 2007

This was my day

The Hubs went out of town yesterday and will be home tomorrow so naturally I ended up getting up even later than usual. I don't know why this happens, but on the rare occasion that he's the one out of town I invariably oversleep. He, on the other hand does better getting up and out in the morning when I'm not here. Go figure.

So I get halfway ready, drop the kids off at school, come home, finish getting ready, feed the animals and head out. Whew.

At lunch I had to run by my folks' house because I'd left something there Sat. I wasn't really paying attention to the time until I pulled in the driveway and noticed my Dad was home. He works a horrible shift, 4 a.m.-noon. It was like 1:15 p.m. So I ring the bell and low and behold he's there and damned if I didn't smell Jim Beam on his breath. You know it's sad and pathetic when you stop by your parents' house in the middle of the day and your Dad is drinking.

I guess I shouldn't have been shocked, it's not like he just met alcohol on the street on his way home from work. He's been drinking every since I can remember actually. And Mom and my sister had both said he drinks when he gets home then goes to bed. Normally my Dad is not very talkative or personable, but when he drinks he's quite the opposite (but aren't we all really when we drink?). So he's talking about work and his medicines etc. and I asked him why he didn't switch shifts at work, you know to one that doesn't include being to work at 4 a.m. in the morning, because y'all know I hate mornings. He said he thought Mom liked it better this way. Basically because they don't see each other; he's in bed when she gets home from work and he's off to work when she gets up in the morning. Why do people live like that? If your life is that sad and that fucking awful why not just get divorced so maybe at least one of you could be happy??? Of course she's been threatening this forever--the first time I remember it I was in second grade and was ecstatic because it meant we'd get to move in with my Grandma. But she wimped out and stayed, just like always.

My parents depress me if I think about them too much. If I were a better person I'd be able to forgive them for everything they've screwed up or feel something towards them other than an obligation. I truly envy people who like their parents and enjoy being around them. I guess I could look on the bright side and say they at least produced 2 out of 3 good kids and if nothing else they serve as the prime example of how not to be parents or a married couple.

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