Wednesday, May 20, 2009

the mind is a terrible thing to waste

..but if you watch tv you can learn a lot.

given our penchant for watching house i think i could easily diagnose lupus, or any lymphoma/cancer, etc. i could also easily discern if a patient was lying and if i ransacked their house i could quickly discover whatever it is environmentally that is making them sick.

from lost i've gathered the skills to survive in the wild and i also have a rudimentary understanding of time travel as well as how to torture people and blow things up. i could also probably start a new civilization if i had to.

from west wing i've learned how the government should be run and i'm confident that i could do it. the hubs would be my leo, twisting all the arms of congress, pulling the strings and generally running things. or, actually i could probably be a speech writer or even the press secretary.

another job opportunity would be as a u.s. marshall, keeping people safe in the witness protection program. i always liked hide and seek.

last night i learned, from the comic and hottie dane cook, what a cock blocker was. did you know? am i the last person on earth to know this term? apparently it is a guy term--it's your buddy that says something that will crash and burn any chance you have of scoring w/ the girl you are talking to. dane (sigh) has a female counterpart to this called a twat swatter. man he's clever.

if all else fails i could be a mad baker and totally take on the food network challenge, plying fondant and baking 3' tall cakes.

pphhhpttt---who needs to search the want ads?


Ali said...

Ooh, this is a term I hadn't heard before. Funny. I must confess I like tv too. Tv and the internet, Ah what a rich, rich life I lead.

Pandora said...

I can't even remember where I heard that term originally,but even though I'm not even English,I regularly use that term.Don't ask me how.

TV is the reason I can even speak English today,and why I am amazing at Trivial Pursuit (at least the entertainment questions).

Astarte said...

I've heard cock blocker, but not twat swatter - that's funny!!!! I was watching that this weekend, too, and there was something else he said when he was talking about the skanky girl he was with, about her saying something like hot dog, or something, that I'd never heard, either.

I could totally fly a spaceship (Star Trek), provide therapy (In Treatment), make people feel like crap (any live show), and be an interior decorator (Trading Spaces).

Anonymous said...

What about something from HGTV? How does someone apply for that show? SIL

cheatymoon said...

Love Dane Cook. I've been meaning to watch his latest thing on Comedy Central, but life keeps getting in the way. Damn kid.

And yes, hottie.