Tuesday, March 10, 2009

jim beam drama

late this afternoon the hubs calls and tells me not to check the messages when i get home. of course i immediately want to know why but the hubs is obviously somewhere where he can't really explain why at that point.

this is right before i leave work for the day. i get in the car, dial the hubs and tell him to tell me what the fuck is going on because i'm thinking ok, they called w/ results from his doc visit today and it's bad, or my grandma died. (yes, someone in my family would totally be retarded enough to leave me a voicemail like that, namely my dad.)

apparently my father drunk dialed all of his kids today, thankfully he didn't have my work number, crying, telling us all that our grandma is dying. stupid fuck we know that! this weekend the hubs told my sis that any info about my grandma needs to come through him and he will tell me what i need to know, weeding out the damn drama they create and getting the info from a reliable source (my aunt) instead.

so jim beam-filled dad calls all of his kids to tell us maw-maw came home yesterday and hospice has been there and her brother from wv came down to see her and i should call my mom. wtf. i knew all of this. i know she's dying. i know hospice is there.

and, so far i've received two different emails from my mom telling me how upset my dad is about this and even though he doesn't show it he's quite torn up. really? hmm. once again she's making excuses for him, just like she's done for the last 40 years. omfg i cannot believe the stupid drama these people stir up. maybe he would be more at peace with himself if he was more involved with the people in his life rather than a fucking jim beam bottle. maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty and sad about his mother dying if he had actually paid any REAL attention to her in the last 25 years. maybe if he quit using everything negative as an excuse to crawl in that bottle every day he would be a happier person. but oh no, he doesn't have a drinking problem.

the woman is 80 years old, did they think she was going to live forever???? she's weak. she's ready to go. let her have some fucking dignity and quit making this into anything about yourself! you stupid drunk fuck.

the hubs, my sis and my bro all went over to my parents' house, thank god he didn't reach me, i presume to see what the hell is going on w/ my dad. he's drunk. he's guilt ridden. and this may sound cold but i don't feel a bit sorry for him. i just wish the hubs would get home so he can fill me in on exactly what was said and what's been going on.

i talked to my aunt today and my grandma is tired, from all the visitors today, and they did have to give her some morphine for the pain when she moves. otherwise she's just ready to be done w/ it. we're going to see if she's up to us visiting her tomorrow.


IB said...

Tough times. Good luck with it all.

Best wishes for you and your family.

drollgirl said...

oh god. i would like to take your dad and crack him over the head with that bottle. i hope he gets it together soon, because this is a tough time and he is NOT making it any better.

you hang in there. i am glad some of your family and your husb are so great!!! that helps.

cheatymoon said...

I hope you get to see her if that's what you want. I am sorry you are going through family drama too.

I know you have better things to think about, but I left you an award at my place.

Take care.


Hotch Potchery said...

You gotta love the drunk dial from your PARENTS. My mom is quite good at that, and it is awful. I am so sorry, it is good you have a buffer in hubs!

My word verification is pleez. Exactly, PARENTS PLEEZ get your SHITZ together.

Anonymous said...

I am so selfishly happy that there is someone else in the world that gets drunk calls from their parents. I really thought HP and I were the only ones (well the only ones we knew). I am sorry for you and your hubs and your kids though, because I know it SUCKS and it is just so unfair. tracy

Astarte said...

OMG. My close friend Meg gets drunk dials from her mom, which alternate between suicidal and plain guilt-ridden about how she was a drunk loser of a mother when Meg and her sister were kids. Some people never get ahold of themselves, I guess.

Your poor grandma for having to see her son like that all these years. Your poor mom for being with that for all this time. And poor you and your sibs for having a dad like that.

I hope your grandma does what she needs to do, in her own time and place. That's all we can really ask for, in the end. I'll be thinking of you all.

creative kerfuffle said...

ib----thank you.

drollgirl--he won't get it together. i'm 40 years old, i don't think he's ever had it together.

erin--thanks. and thanks for the award : )

hotch--it does sound funny to say drunk dialing from your parents.

tracy--the three of us could start a club : )

astarte--thankfully my gma isn't aware of what's going on. and don't feel sorry for my mom, she could have done something about this a long time ago but didn't.

kristin--thanks sweetie.