Friday, January 9, 2009

christmas poo

two years ago our dogs, leah and keely, escaped from the big fenced in back yard. since then the hubs has been like mcguyver trying to keely-proof the yard. she's a digger and she's lithe and fast. leah, the black lab is not. so keely digs escape holes for leah too.

i think i blogged about one of their failed escape attempts but since i don't use tags (curse me) i can't find it. (note to self, start using tags) also, i can't remember if it was this year or last year, the failed attempt. the girls had been digging out on and off for a few days, always when we were at work. thankfully they'd just dig under our fence and end up in one of our neighbors' yards and my one old lady neighbor would call me at work. the last time she called me at work it was pouring rain and they were in our cop neighbor's yard. i went home to fetch them.

by the time i got there keely had dug a hole from the cop yard to the old lady yard and was gleefully running around in the rain and sooo very excited to see me. like, look what i did mom. leah, poor baby. keely hadn't dug her hole big enough so she was stuck, in the mud, between two yards. the old lady and i tried our best to get her out but couldn't. it was still raining and cold. the cop neighbor came out and had to literally dig leah out from under the fence. after that i put them both in the garage until we could figure out how the hell to contain them.

that was in the fall and since it was cold they pretty much stayed in the garage while we were at work. not great, but they were warm and safe.

in the spring the hubs built a dog lot on the side of the house and, up until about a month ago this contained them. then we came home and keely was in the big part of the yard, outside of the dog lot. the next day we came home and she was in the front yard (which is not fenced) and wagging her tail like, look what i did mom.

since they were headed back to being in the garage during the day anyway (because of the cold weather) we haven't found the next best solution for containing them, though the hubs does have a plan which involves the alcatraz of dog lots or something.

so the dogs stay in the garage during the day. there is an old area rug out there and a sofa, so it's not like they aren't comfy. it also it piled high w/ all the christmas stuff because we are waiting on delivery of a shed, which has been postponed due to the flood of rain we've had this week.

during all this time they've been in the garage they've never trashed it, never gotten in to anything, never fouled it up. day before yesterday things changed. the hubs got home first only to find a shit fest. yes, apparently leah and keely had a contest to see who could shit the most in the garage. dry heaving, he cleaned it up.

yesterday i came home and they had peed but i smelled something worse. there's nothing worse than going on a poo hunt in your garage. you can smell it. you know it's in there. i think the girls were trying to be nice. they were trying to do the right thing. they were looking for grass. instead, they used the only green things they could find, a wreath and garland. they decorated it with christmas poo.

thank jeebus those two things were outside decorations because i just took them out and hosed the hell out of them. i'm almost afraid to go home today.


Penny said...

Ew, but I guess that was polite of them to try and find something grass like.

I hope all is well when you come today. Isn't that always the fun of pets is waiting to see what kind of surprise they left you. One of my cats likes to throw up on my bed every once in awhile, it is so charming.

Penny said...

ha ha ha I wrote "when you come today." I meant to write "when you come home today."

creative kerfuffle said...

tracy--that made me lol for real. when you come today! i hope all is well when you come today. ROTFLMAO. i might cry. whew.
oh, and the cats? yes, meow hurled IN the food bowl the other morning and jasper just looked at it like WTF? i'm not eating THAT!

Astarte said...

I am totally ROFL. I can just see the giant dog turds on those wreaths like huge dogberries. I can't believe you hosed them off and kept them!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!! Did you sing while you did it? 'Dingle shit, single shit, dingle all the way...' OMG, there are tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard!!!!

Phew. Anyway, get an electric collar. We got one at Walmart for $100, it came with both the collar and the wire, and it's the only thing that kept Baci, who jumps and runs like a deer, in the yard. One zap and he was afraid to go anywhere near the edge of the yard.

Hotch Potchery said...

You must really like that wreath. I would have tossed it for sure. I can't wait until next Christmas when you hang it and flash back to poo.

creative kerfuffle said...

astarte--i wasn't really in the singing mood, but if i were i'd totally sing that song! lol we did think about the electic collar thing or even the invisible fence (though it's a big yard and i can't imagine that's cheap) however, keely's other talent? taking off collars. no kidding. i've seen her take leah's collar off. now leah has a metal chain one and keely leaves it alone.

hotch--it's not so much that i LOVED the wreath, but remember when i said i got the xmas tree (finally) on sale after xmas? well, i got the wreath too. and, for the record, if it was something that would hang IN the house i would have totally tossed it.

Anonymous said...

Can't stop laughing over "dogberries." Good one, Astarte!

CK, I wish I could've seen you with the hose. I would've been doubled over laughing.

Sweet T