Wednesday, December 8, 2010

a blow to the ego II

i literally laughed out loud at annabelle's post today, go on, read it. i'll wait.

back? ok. so let's talk oral sex shall we. (i can just imagine my sil's face turning 500 shades of red right now, and a few of my other friends are shaking their heads.)

the hubs and i have been together for elebenty billion years, and married for 18 of them. though he did not tell me at the time, he has since told me that when we first began our sexual relationship i was not so good at giving blow jobs. honestly i didn't understand the concept. i mean BLOW jobs? hello, you don't blow on them. what a stupid name. they should be called suck jobs. back then, when we were dating, i gave them, very grudgingly. i was a goodie-two-shoes and doing THAT was just, wrong.

once we got married, i still gave them grudgingly, but my skills became a tad bit better. at least i wasn't scraping anything with my teeth anymore. i did not swallow. and when i say i did it grudgingly that also means very, very rarely. like once a year. the poor hubs, who is all about some oral and is quite the giver, stuck with me anyway.

fast forward about a decade later and he is quite pleased with my learning curve. i give good head. i swallow. i'm quite sure i don't do it as often as he'd like, but it's quality, not quantity. i think most guys would love to get a blow job every day, but, ya know, it just ain't happenin'.

i have always wondered why swallowing is so important. oddly enough, i have a huge gag reflex. bushing my teeth/tongue, i almost always gag. and yet, i'm able to give good head.

i know there are some women who really don't get into it and don't do it at all. i also know there are women who love it (ok, the hubs has told me this, i don't think i've actually ever had anyone tell me they love doing this).

so...despite being unemployed and having someone else get a job i used to have...i can at least be proud of the fact that i am good at giving head. a marketable skill i'm sure i'll never cash in on.


cheatymoon said...

That post you linked cracked me up. And you with your marketable skillz. Too funny!!


Anonymous said...

I think men tend to confuse porn movie girls,with real life women,because I haven't ever heard of a woman who truly,deeply,out of the depths of her soul,enjoys giving head.

I only enjoy it because I know my boyfriend loves it.He doesn't do oral,which is good,since I don't enoy that,at all.Luckily he's good at other things ;)

Anonymous said...

I love this post. I am in stiches mostly because most of my friends will not do it. But I do have one friend that LOVES it...and proceeds to give us details of every single thing she does and what she hates...etc. But details that most of us can live without know about her. So, yes...there are women out there that LOOOOVEEEE it. hehe

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Surely said...

*averting my eyes*

*scuffing of shoes*

Hotch Potchery said...

I don't hate it, I don't love it, and I do not think I am good at it. I have only ever done it with Mr. P, and he has never complained, but he would never tell me if it wasn't right, because that means someone else did it better on him and I would likely die a little.