Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Getting old my ass

Just got this forward from a friend so I have to comment.


1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. (I've always wondered how to grow smokeable plants.)

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (Why? What about the sofa or chaise?)

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. (Yeah because that's what the mini fridge in the garage is for. Of course it's probably 6 months old, but who's counting.)

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (I don't get up that early unless there's a fire. Plus we stay up until after midnight most nights, probably the reason why I don't do mornings well.)

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. (This makes me sad. Worse is when you hear a remake of your favorite song by some teenie bopper.)

6. You watch the Weather Channel. (Nah, but I know people who do.)

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." (I still have single friends; and I bet there are married people who hook up and break up too.)

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. (Yeah, this does suck. I think everyone should have the summer off.)

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." (True.)

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. (No, but I do get pissed when they're parked getting gas and have the radio blasting. C'mon, that's just retarded.)

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. (Hell, where do you think I get most of the things I forward you guys?)

12. You don't know what time McDonalds closes anymore. (True. Of course when I was making late night fast food runs it was to Taco Bell.)

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. (Better yet, you pay off your car!)

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (I never did either.)

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (Nope, napping on the couch is a guilty pleasure.)

16. You take naps. (See above. Naps rule. Of course you have less time for them as an adult. I think we should have naps during the work day.)

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.(Um, not necessarily. I'm old not dead.)

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. (Um, we've been known to bake cookies at 1 a.m.)

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. (Well, there are the flavored condoms ya know.)

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit." (I don't know wine but I certainly no longer drink Mad Dog 20/20.)

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (Again, no. I don't normally eat breakfast but we do have breakfast food for dinner sometimes.)

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." (I'm not a good drinker. My window between a nice buzz and being shitfaced has gotten much smaller as I've gotten older.)

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (I'd say maybe 80% of the time.)

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (Now we drink at home because we don't want to drive or get a babysitter. House parties rule.)

25. When you find out your friends are pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "Oh no, what the hell happened?" (For the most part true, though if my sister gets pregnant again I'll be asking what the hell happened!)

After reading the list I don't really feel that old. Besides, in my head I'll always be about 26.

No comments: