Saturday, May 21, 2011

a phone call from bubba ass

ah gentle readers, i have just had a conversation with bubba ass. i don't know how many of you were reading me back then, august 2005; if you weren't you have to read the bubba ass post to get the full beauty of his amazing character. i couldn't have made this guy up if i tried. he is my bil (married to the hubs' sister).

since that visit in 2005 he has been to my house one other time. i looked for the blog post about that time---it too was a doozy as several of the hubs' family were visiting at the same time. one evening during that visit bubba got to me so badly i actually locked myself in our bathroom and smoked a j. then i emerged and ended up telling bubba ass that the only men i'd ever seen carrying around a mini dog like he'd just bought at the flee market (god help us) were gay.

flash forward to tonight's call. we'd just walked in the door (non sequitor---the hubs' boy and i were out running errands, the last being at the evil empire (walmart) and it was around rapture time. the hubs thought it would be oh so ironic if i got raptured at the evil empire of all places. i said if the ground starts shaking i'm at least driving next door to target.). the phone rang and i saw it was the hubs' sister so i picked it up.

me: hello?
them: hello, who is this?
me: uh, ck, who is THIS?
him: oh, it's bubba ass. you're actually who i wanted to talk to. (funny, since i'm the one you called.)
him: i wanted to ask you some questions about filing for unemployment.
me: ok. i'll answer what i can but the rules/regs in your state may differ from mine.
him: so you were out of work for two years?
me: yes.
him: how many jobs did you have to apply for each week?
me: once i signed up for unemployment i had a form to fill out and had to apply for two a week, though i applied for way more than that. i had a friend who had to apply for three. it might depend on what type of job you're looking for.
him: what type of job were you looking for?
me: in publishing or marketing.
him: and you couldn't find one in two years?
me: no. i freelanced, but no full time job.

he asked me lots of other questions like what do you do if you are offered a job and the pay isn't good. i said i was at the point where i would have taken anything so i had never turned a job down. he asked how you knew how much unemployment you'd get each week. i said it depended on your salary from the previous year. then he asked what my salary had been. of course i declined to answer that. then he asked what kind of company i was going to work for. i told him and said it was in the marketing department. he said, and you can do that? i informed him that yes, while my degree was in journalism i have a minor in marketing and that while most of my career has been in publishing i have also worked in a couple of marketing departments.

once he finished picking my brain about unemployment, thankfully the conversation ended. i wished him luck and hung up the phone.

i am still calling him bubba ass.


Unknown said...

Me thinks bubba ass is looking to milk the system intentionally and is curious what kind of career to possibly lie about having might be.

Just sayin.

Hey, so when is your first day? I've I told you how exited I am for you? Thuper thoked ; )

Surely said...

Well, that was...random.

Perhaps someone told him to call so he was doing it to get them off his back?

Or as Annabelle said: he's trying to figure out the system and assumed that you've not actually been unemployed this whole time.

HA! verification word is sudumbe!