a phone call from bubba ass

ah gentle readers, i have just had a conversation with bubba ass. i don't know how many of you were reading me back then, august 2005; if you weren't you have to read the bubba ass post to get the full beauty of his amazing character. i couldn't have made this guy up if i tried. he is my bil (married to the hubs' sister).

since that visit in 2005 he has been to my house one other time. i looked for the blog post about that time---it too was a doozy as several of the hubs' family were visiting at the same time. one evening during that visit bubba got to me so badly i actually locked myself in our bathroom and smoked a j. then i emerged and ended up telling bubba ass that the only men i'd ever seen carrying around a mini dog like he'd just bought at the flee market (god help us) were gay.

flash forward to tonight's call. we'd just walked in the door (non sequitor---the hubs' boy and i were out running errands, the last being at the evil empire (walmart) and it was around rapture time. the hubs thought it would be oh so ironic if i got raptured at the evil empire of all places. i said if the ground starts shaking i'm at least driving next door to target.). the phone rang and i saw it was the hubs' sister so i picked it up.

me: hello?
them: hello, who is this?
me: uh, ck, who is THIS?
him: oh, it's bubba ass. you're actually who i wanted to talk to. (funny, since i'm the one you called.)
him: i wanted to ask you some questions about filing for unemployment.
me: ok. i'll answer what i can but the rules/regs in your state may differ from mine.
him: so you were out of work for two years?
me: yes.
him: how many jobs did you have to apply for each week?
me: once i signed up for unemployment i had a form to fill out and had to apply for two a week, though i applied for way more than that. i had a friend who had to apply for three. it might depend on what type of job you're looking for.
him: what type of job were you looking for?
me: uh....one in publishing or marketing.
him: and you couldn't find one in two years?
me: no. i freelanced, but no full time job.

he asked me lots of other questions like what do you do if you are offered a job and the pay isn't good. i said i was at the point where i would have taken anything so i had never turned a job down. he asked how you knew how much unemployment you'd get each week. i said it depended on your salary from the previous year. then he asked what my salary had been. of course i declined to answer that. then he asked what kind of company i was going to work for. i told him and said it was in the marketing department. he said, and you can do that? i informed him that yes, while my degree was in journalism i have a minor in marketing and that while most of my career has been in publishing i have also worked in a couple of marketing departments.

once he finished picking my brain about unemployment, thankfully the conversation ended. i wished him luck and hung up the phone.

i am still calling him bubba ass.