Friday, March 4, 2011

hiding the bra and panties

i had my annual who-ha check-up today (turns out my last one wasn't as recent as i thought it had been). i haven't been to an actual gyno in years...since i had the boy and no longer worked in the same town as the gyno office was. for years i've been seeing a nurse practitioner in my own town. i have no major medical problems so i don't warrant a lot of medical care; take no meds, etc. it's convenient and i like the woman i see.

i went through all of the normal stuff, blood pressure--check (it's always good); previous numbers (cholesterol, good and bad, always great). i think these things surprise some people because i am overweight and i smoke, though i have lost weight since my last visit and i do think about quitting smoking (when life is not so stressful).

then comes the lovely, strip, put on this stupid gown that opens in the front (thank god my dr's office uses the cloth gowns instead of the paper ones because those suck!) and kitty (that's what i'm calling my nurse practitioner because her name is the same name as my bro/sil's cat!) will be in in a minute. i strip. fold the clothes---HIDE THE BRA AND PANTIES under the clothes. why oh why do we do this? really. but, i did it and thought how stupid i was being while i was doing it.

kitty comes in w/ her student follower. she introduces her. holy shit it's a woman i worked w/ 11 years ago! at first i didn't place her, but i knew i knew her. we finally figured out how we knew each other and went on from there. so very strange. a few years after she left the company we worked for she went back to get another degree....this time in nursing, and she graduates in a couple of months. wow. thankfully she didn't stay in the room for the who-ha exam because while having two kids and being a woman in her 40s means lots of people have looked down there...not really comfortable having someone i used to work w/ see me in that position.

the exam was uneventful until kitty looks at my chart and's time for another mammogram. ugh. really? i just had one like....i don't know a couple of years ago. as i'm waiting to get my blood testing done (my other favorite part of the visit--she's doing the routine stuff but also some additional testing to find out if my irregular aunt flo visits are pre-menopausal or something else) kitty says i can go next door to the imaging center in 10 minutes to get the girls squashed. lovely.

the first time i had a mammogram i dreaded it, because it was unknown, but really it wasn't as bad as i'd heard they were. today...holy crap it felt like the tech really had it out for my boobs (even though she was perfectly nice) because i swear to god they were squashed beyond recognition. if there was a lump or cyst or anything in there i'm sure she popped it. ewwwwww...yes i know that's gross and impossible, but still.


Hotch Potchery said...

I had a mammogram yesterday!! My vag inspector visit was last week---my numbers are always good too, and while I don't smoke I am WAY overweight. I am back on the path of healthy righteousness though. :)

Anonymous said...

I had the hide-the-bra experience at the urgent care recently. And I felt silly doing it, too!

Glad things checked out ok! Hope the test results are fine.

Vag inspector. I will have to remember that!

Sweet T

cheatymoon said...

Need to make my mammo appt... thanks for reminder. xo

Surely said...

I have those appts in the summer so I still get to look forward to them *shaking head no*

I have to have a mamo every year so yeah, fun.

Honestly though, I don't think I heard anything after you said you smoked. *gasp* Guuurrrrllll, what are you thinkin? (:-D

The Mayor said...

You just never do know what to do with the stray panties & bra while at the doctors.

One time I stuffed them in the my sweater sleeve, which was hung on the back of the exam room door.

Only the silky thing slunk it's way out on to the floor when my doctor walked in the room.