Monday, September 21, 2009


....connecting. sometimes i get a bit....damn, i can't think of the word, holier-than-thou?, smug? uppity? about the fact that i think the hubs and i have great communication compared to a lot of couples. but to be honest, we have to work at it just like anyone else. for the last several weeks or so we have been off. not off as in an arguing, disliking way, just off. not on the same page. of course we talked to each other, but we didn't TALK to each other, if that makes sense. this happens from time to time. each wanders off in their own mind, pondering their thoughts and maybe it's just a few of the threads that tie us together that fall by the wayside, but it's still noticeable. towards the end of the week and over the weekend i feel like we reconnected. we talked/listened more. we got on the same page. when we have these renewals i feel like i've fallen in love with him all over again. or better yet, have deepened our love. i don't think you are ever IN love w/ someone 100% of the time. you love that person all the time, but the feeling of intimacy, warmth, glowing, happy IN love is cyclical. at least i think so. thoughts?

a lot of the stress that causes this disconnection comes from my not having a job. i think, aside from the worry of finding a job and feeling responsible for putting our family through this, i have had it much easier than the hubs. he carries the stress of being the employed one, of handling the finances, of worrying about the big picture/future/college/retirement. i get that. and, he's in a job that hasn't given raises in forfuckingever and it's increasingly stressful and difficult. while he's dealt w/ all of that i feel like i've grown closer to my kids, emptied a lot of the stress from my life, found a peacefulness and hopefulness i didn't used to have and have realized i am someone even if i don't have a 9-5 job.

....joicing. we went to an engagement party for my dear friend sweet t this weekend. i could not be happier for her and her fiancee. sweet t really deserves a good guy, someone who will treat her well, respect her, make her laugh, share her burdens, and i think she's found the perfect one. this is the first time i've ever been to an engagement party. i also have never, and probably will never, be a bride's maid. isn't that odd?

we're also rejoicing (although that's probably not the best choice of words) in the fact that the girl has been invited by duke u. to join a program to take the act/sat in 7th grade because of her outstanding academics. i am so proud! i realize this does not guarantee a scholarship (not that she's ever mentioned wanting to go to duke) but it is such an outstanding honor.


Not Your Aunt B said...

YAY to your friend on her engagement, to the girl (I did the same thing back in the day and felt very proud to be chosen, but I was also a nerd.), and to you and the hubs on reconnecting. I think you can love someone all the time, but that crazy, crush, IN love feeling? Not all the time. Especially when the hubs eats the last piece of cake.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you guys were able to come to the party! I wish we'd had more time to spend with you. And I hope you weren't put off by being placed at a table with strangers. I didn't know they were doing assigned tables or I would've fixed that. :)

Congrats to the girl!

Sweet T

cheatymoon said...

Glad you and hubs are back on the same page. I think this is natural (to be on and off the pages).

Congrats to your friend and your girl.

Astarte said...

That is one smarty-pants girl you've got there!!! :)

Penny said...

sometimes I also feel pretty smug about what a good relationship Teddy and I have, but then we will go through a couple of weeks where we just aren't connecting...but I agree it is an ebb and flow and you have to work on it!

Congratulations to your daughter! That is really very exciting.