Sunday, September 13, 2009


dear aussie,
i have been a loyal customer for years. you lured me into buying your product w/ your lovely purple packaging and pleasant smell. you kept me as a loyal patron because i love how your products make my hair feel. we use so much of your shampoo and conditioner that i buy the huge bottles. i've never done that w/ other shampoos and conditioners. i also love, love love your catch the wave leave in mousse conditioner. it is the only mousse i've ever found that does not leave my hair feeling crunchy. i love it. i am not, however, pleased at all that you have changed your mousse from the squat, fat 8 oz. container to the long, sleek 6.8 oz container--for the same price. you are not the most expensive hair care products, but you also are not the 99 cent white rains or suaves of the world. i bought this long, sleek less product version tonight, but, i think i will be shopping around for another product to love.
disappointedly yours,
a once very loyal customer

dear company i interviewed w/ on friday,
please do not offer me this job. i think i briefly lost my mind in the throes of the moment when we were talking friday and i was excited about the possibility of having a steady income again. however, after replaying the meeting over again in my mind, i don't think it's going to work. the fact that you couldn't really even tell me what the job title was or concisely describe exactly what you were looking for gives me pause. i am also concerned that in the 10 yrs you've been in business you've gone from 20 employees to 5. you tell me this is not because you've laid anyone off, which is a good thing. but why did 15 of your employees leave? you have an incredibly luxurious office space, complete w/ a fountain in your lobby and everything, but it kind of freaked me out to see all of the dark offices and the fact that you told me you'd probably have to let some of that over-priced storage area go soon. explaining to me that you are very successful at keeping customers once you get them is great, but following that with you struggle with getting new business, not so great. telling me that you do not give a lot of direction is fine, but when that translates to no direction at all and you're sure of the direction you're heading just not how you're going to get there--also not fine. telling me that if i did come to work there would mean i'd have to quit freelancing, not really something i wanted to hear.

your offices are nice but my drive to work would be double what it used to be and would mean putting my kids back in daycare. you are a very nice woman, but your inability to clearly define the job and what i can expect from it, and you, leave me feeling skittish.
the woman who needs a job, just not this job

dear chamber of commerce,
i sent you my resume and application two weeks ago. i understand that this week you are finally reviewing all of the applications. please call me in for an interview and be so incredibly impressed that you offer me a job on the spot. i want this job, and i don't even know exactly what all it entails. working in the town i live in would be so convenient. i think we'd even let the kids stay home alone after school since if need be i could be home in 5-10 mins. plus, for some reason i really like the idea of working for my town, about the possibility of working towards something that would improve it. i like the idea of getting more involved in my town and making connections that could potentially lead to more freelance work. i think it would be something completely different from anything i've ever done and that possibility excites me. granted, the money would be less than what i was making, possibly less than what the lady above might have paid me, but i really want this job.
waiting on a call


cheatymoon said...

Fingers crossed on the job you want...

Gal Friday said...

The Chamber job sounds pretty good. Like Only, I am crossing my fingers for you.
I HATE the way every product (including food) is shrinking but we are charged the same, if not more. Do these companies think the consumer won't notice? (I have to say..I love the smell of Aussie products)

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

you can use me as reference! the chamber job sounds perfect for so many reasons!

small animal sacrifice(gummy bears) for you tonight :)

Astarte said...

The aussie thing makes me think of how a pint of ice cream isn't always really a pint of ice cream. WTF?! Do they think we're that stupid?

Oh, definitely don't take that job. Either that woman is lying to you or she's driving the company into the ground. I once took a job from someone like that, and it was the WORST job I ever had the misfortune of having. Run, woman!

The chamber of commerce thing sounds great! Oh, I hopehopehope for you!

Not Your Aunt B said...

I am anti Aussie as they changed some of their curl products and it made me crazy. Ugh.

Hotch Potchery said...

I like the idea of writing letters to all that annoy me, but in my recent mood they would all read like this, "Dear ____, Fuck off. Love, HP".

Kristin.... said...

Oooh the Chamber job sounds great! The other one sounds too sketchy. Eww.

Astarte is right~a half gallon of ice cream isn't a half gallon anymore but it costs the same as before. If we're going to GET LESS it should COST less. DUH!

Anonymous said...

D uses Aussie Sprunch Spray that smells like grapes. I think he only uses it because of that, and it's purple, like his team. He has short straight hair. No need for "sprunch."

Sweet T

drollgirl said...

fingers crossed on that chamber of commerce gig. the other job has me PETRIFIED as i took one like that once at ucla and it was a fucking nightmare. i was a 'project coordinator' and NOBODY could tell me what i was supposed to do. ever. WEIRD!

Penny said...

I used to use Aussie, I remember I really liked the purple container and how it smelled, but now I use so much mousse I am a Suave girl.

I am really hoping for you on the job front. Have you looked into substitute teaching? the pay isn't great, but it is a nice temporary thing and you'd still be able be home when your kids get home. I've done it before and I liked the hours and the extra money.