Thursday, August 5, 2010

hot and sticky

...and not in any good way. the humidity is driving me insane. seriously makes me want to move to alaska.

things have been a bit hectic i suppose. my freelance work has picked up this week and that is all well and good but limits my ability to do anything w/ the kids. the same kids who are bored out of their minds. the boy has gone over to a friend's house and the girl is lying on the couch reading. she hasn't seen a friend all summer long--but that is a whole post unto itself.

the hubs is back on this kick about what i'm going to do about my folks. i find it touching and admirable that his goal in this is that i not have regrets if/when something happens to them and i haven't reconciled w/ them. knowing how he feels about them and what he thinks of them and how he could go the rest of his life w/out seeing/speaking to them and at the same time realizing that if i did the same i would regret it once they were gone amazes me.

i grasp what he is saying. i even understand that i probably would have regrets if something happened and i hadn't found peace before then. last night i sat down and tried to compose an email to my mom. it sounded flat and heartless. i don't know how to say what i want to say w/out sounding that way. i don't think we need to discuss any of the issues any more--we've tried that time and time again over the years and it never works or changes anything and everyone just ends up venting. it changes nothing. i don't know what type of relationship i want w/ them. i know i do not want to spend a lot of time w/ them. i know that i will have my guard up. i know that i don't trust them or like them.


cheatymoon said...

Wish my child were not seeing his friends this summer. That's a post for my private blog (or venting email to a friend... ha~)

Wish I had advice for you for your parents. I love that your husband is so supportive.

Just B said...

I totally feel your last sentence! Here's the thing, THEY are the parents, whether you're 13 or 33. It sounds like you have been carrying the weight of being the grown-up in that relationship for a long time. Since you have finally taken it off your shoulders, no one else has picked it up--so be it.

Would you expect the Girl or Boy to do all the work in your relationship with them??

My two cents (probably not worth quite that much).

Surely said...

Okay, well, back into it a different way: What do you want from them? Realistically.

Try writing from that perspective, perhaps?

I don't think anyone can be truly sure or know what they are going to feel afterward. You have to trust your gut. Bless your husband for helping work it through. He sounds like a keeper!

Spanx said...

I find, for me, that when I truly do not know what to do, it's best if I do nothing. And that also means not setting a time limit on when I WILL know what to do. Most times, an answer or solution will organically appear if I leave it alone. That's just my experience...

And the hubs IS a keeper -even if he is a Republican!!

Surely said...

PS...I love everything Spanx said!

Pseudo said...

I have found with my mom, the peace is one sided. I have to be at peace with our relationship in all its dysfunction. Part of that is knowing how to set limits so she does not take advantage of me or pull me into her psycho world.

Astarte said...

I'm just catching up on everything!

I can't believe Karate Girl broke up with him over Justin Beeber. I can't believe ANYONE likes JB. Not to mention, his last name is BEEBER, for crissakes. Seriously. I'm glad he took it well, and it's her loss. Actually, I can believe it. Girls are crazy. What I really can't believe is that MY girl is almost at that age. Thank god she isn't a twit like that kid. Yet.

My kids don't understand the concept of letting me get work done, either. Every time my ass hits the chair, it's like a neon sign goes up over my head, 'Open for business!' They're as bad now as they were as babies, I swear. And DH isn't much better. :(

I guess I hope you get that job. I hate for you to work somewhere shitty, but I also hate for you to continue on with the stress. At least you could change jobs later on, if this was was truly awful. I'm having a hard time thinking about working again, too, and having it all be so busy. I can't even imagine it being good, so I try not to think about it at all.

Your husband is so nice.

Nashville?! Are you nuts?! They have tornadoes there! Often! AND floods! Run, woman! The OTHER way!

drollgirl said...

i wonder if you and your parents could have topics that are off limits. wouldn't that be nice?

and humidity is for the birds. or plants and trees. but not humans! it is just awful!