Thursday, August 13, 2009

it's thursday....whoopee

nothing much to say, oh, my brain is mulling a lot of different things right now i just don't have the ability to formulate a good (or even bad) blog post from the junk flying around in my brain. i'll creak the door open though so you can take a peak inside (sound of door creaking--needs wd40) shhssss, be quiet and just observe, the ideas and thoughts get upset if you disturb them or feel self conscious if you stare too long.

****omg the hubs has pneumonia. he was sick towards the end of our beach trip but i can't believe he has pneumonia. and he's working. i'd be home. sleeping. sometimes i do not understand his work ethic.

****i did an interview yesterday for this piddly mag freelance story. i cannot believe i'm even doing this. it's an advertorial. and, if it were flat out called an advertorial i'd have no problem w/ that, but that it's disguised as editorial goes against every fucking thing i believe in.

*****the interview went really well, and i'm wondering if the guy was trying to feel me out about a part time job. the pay is laughable compared to what i was making. seriously. but it's a part time job. it's for a non-profit. i like the idea of that a lot. i like the idea of doing something positive. but the money is bad. very bad. i need a real, full time job. but, maybe if i got this part time thing it would give me access to other businesses/people in my town who might eventually need my mad freelance writing skillz. or maybe it wouldn't and i'd just be working part time and set us back 15 years on our financial plans/goals.

*****why am i soooo afraid to take risks?

******trish said i should tell that guy at the magazine how to do his job or shut up and do it myself. i don't even know how to do either of those things. i am a candy ass wuss. i can't tell a guy how to run his magazine. and i surely don't have the backing to start my own.

*******i have become a hermit this summer, as far as my friends go. none of my friends have kids my kids' ages and our situations are all so different. then i get jealous because they all seem to be hanging out together and i feel left out. yeah, i'm a douche.

*******i'm worried about the boy. he's always done a bit of the sleepwalking thing. but at the beach, when we woke up to him trying to get out of the room, holy hell. what if we wouldn't have heard him? what makes kids sleepwalk? he's done it twice this week too--come into our room, looking wide awake but it's obvious he's not, talking. it scares me.

********my folks are taking my sister's kids to wv this weekend. my mom sent out an email to tell us and explained they were doing it because her kids haven't gotten to do anything this summer. hmmm, really? well, maybe if my sister wouldn't have spent her tax money on a big screen, blue ray and wii she could have taken her kids somewhere. i mean, despite the fact that she's been out of work too (and longer than i have) she's still sent them to daycare all this time. really? well, to be fair it's not like she's really paying for it--state aid and all. sometimes i think moving away from here would be the best thing in the world.

*******i watched the notebook last night. how fucking depressing is THAT movie. i don't think i've read that book, and if i did it was a million years ago. holy hell that was sad. i have this fear that i'll get alzheimer's (cos one of my gmas had it and the other had dementia) so this movie played right into my fears. i envisioned the hubs reading me our story and me not knowing him or the kids. yes, i sobbed like a big ole baby. (i think i'm getting ready to start or something)

********the dogs went outside last night as usual--in and out in and out all night. i let leah back in. no keely. (the kids had long ago gone to bed and the hubs was in a medicine induced sleep in his recliner, it was around 12 or 1 am). i search the back yard, well, as best you can when it's pitch black. no dog. holy fuck where is she? she's dug out again? what am i going to do. i go out front, quietly yell for her (hard to do) nothing. i woke the hubs up, he went out, whistled for her and she came. she was out of our yard, across the street in the neighbor's back yard. this means she's once again dug a hole somewhere and crawled under the fence. dammit.

***and, i haven't responded to your comments on the cell phone issue yet, but, the hubs has been researching family plans. yes, it's just a matter of time.


cheatymoon said...

Yikes, I hope your husband gets better soon.

Sounds like the part-time or freelance thing could be a step in the right direction.

Feeling hormonal and simply cannot get outta my own way today, so this post resonates w/ me. Ack.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Well, I haven't commented in awhile so here goes...
Maybe if your hubs stayed home from work a couple days to rest he would get better faster?
I agree with you on the cell phone. It's so hard to teach someone to be satisfied with what they already have. I'm still learning that myself. To cave now would show you could whine for something like you said. I vote for you.
No moving. Ever.
As far as the job, you have to see this book I am reading. It reminds me of your situation so far except it a man writing for magazine. The job he lands finally is a teeny bopper mag.
Your bro said let the WV thing go and I will never respond to her pitiful e-mail, but it is pissing me off greatly.

drollgirl said...

pneumonia!!?!??!?! get that man in bed! if you can! ack!!!

i totally understand the interview/low pay part-time job thing. shit. this one is so hard. fuck!!!!!!

you are not a douche! or if you are a douche, i am too. i get a little sad/jealous when i am left out of the friends' plans. it hurts. it is lame. and then i get defensive. yay. great way to handle things. oy!

i loved the notebook, but saw it before my grandpa got alzheimer's and dementia. methinks i might not like it so much if i saw it again.

well, hope you have a great weekend!

p.s. you write so well. it is always nice to read and catch up with you/your life. :)

Ali said...

Oh no! I hope your hub is better soon. He needs to take a break, poor thing!

I think you should take whatever you can as far as work goes and just play it by ear, you never know what will come out of it.

Bloody dog, Mine used to get out all the time, she's not very bright though.

Maybe take the boy to your doctor to talk about the sleepwalking because the other aspect is that he could be really exhausted from not getting proper sleep all the time. Maybe the doc would have an idea of how to help?