Thursday, June 16, 2011

i survived

tuesday was a big milestone for us. the boy graduated fifth grade and the girl 8th grade. we are saying goodbye to elementary school. it makes me sad. there are teachers i will miss and i realize that everything will start moving at warp speed now and i will blink my eye and four years will be gone and the girl will be off to college and the boy will be finishing high school.

monday night i was a nervous wreck. i was testy and snapping at the kids. it wasn't pretty at all. i apologized later, i knew it was nerves. the girl's mood wasn't much better; she was afraid she wouldn't get any awards. she did of course. the boy took everything in stride like he always does.

i wish i wasn't that mom that got so emotional at these types of things. i wish i was the mom who could just enjoy the moment and be happy. i do enjoy the moment and my heart soars with pride over my kids....but there's the other part that bawls like a baby because they are growing up so fast and each milestone like this takes them further away from me. yeah, i know...i'm a nut.

the hubs took off the rest of the week to hang out with the kids and next week they'll go to summer camp.

the new job is going well, though i don't know that i have quite the same enthusiasm i did those first couple of weeks. i am perplexed as to what it is i am to do day to day. my boss has given me pieces and parts of what my job entails, and people tell me to enjoy it right now because i will be swamped...but i just don't see how. i didn't have the benefit of my predecessor still being here when i got here to show me the ropes. this is a company that loves to have meetings and i suppose outlook calendar will become my best friend. i knew i would have a learning curve about the product, but didn't expect not to fully understand my role. i think i need to have a talk w/ my boss.

despite the fact that the company is huge, my department is small, 13 people. so far most of them seem really nice and they all seem to work well together, although there are obviously people who are better friends than others. there are 8 women and 5 men. the women seem to have paired off as far as who they eat lunch w/ etc. while the guys are usually the ones who ask everyone to lunch. strange dynamic. but...outside of our department i think the company is predominantly male. when my boss and i go to meetings outside of our department we are generally the only women there. this is such a different environment for me.


Anonymous said...

I get teary at most kid functions. Today my students put on a (lame) talent show for the kids. But it was so sweet, I was very nearly crying. Just to watch them up on stage in front of the whole school being their goofy selves. Ack.

I think you work in a similar company to the company the other half worked a while back. Weird environment. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Unknown said...

That's funny. I always feel bad because I'm NOT that kind of mom. I know one day I'll wake up and this will have flown by so fast and I'll hate myself for not being more emotionally attached to it all.

I say befriend the dudes.
More fun. Less drama. No sides to chose. Less talking shit behind peoples backs. Better lunch hours. New testosterone and pheromones to wake up that long committed woman and dust off the ball busting chops. (cuz I KNOW you got those)

And remember the #1 lesson from our childhoods. Observe the pack for a while in their relaxed, less stepford selves and then pick your circles. Cross over into several groups instead of joining a tight group. Everyone is their "best"version at first.

And go get some sexy shoes. Maybe a haircut, I dunno.

Muah. Glad glad glad for you!