i thought it would get easier

....raising kids. i thought as my kids got older being a parent would be easier. boy was i wrong. as the parent of an 11 and 14 year old i am here to tell you....the baby years? the toddler years? piece.of.cake. seriously. yes, i realize those times are trying because it is frustrating trying to communicate with little people who aren't reasonable (they don't get any better as they get older) or who can't fully express themselves (sometimes at this age they still can't) and there are the sleepless nights, constant needs to be met, etc. the early ages are more physically challenging i'd say.

as they get older the challenges become more emotional and mental. i have been concentrating on finding the perfect high school for the girl. one where she will fit in and be challenged. one that will best prepare her for college and meet her (self-proclaimed) nerd-girl needs. one where she will not be singled out as being the smart kid. we were considering three. we went to a magnet fair. we were told yes, transportation is available. ah.....therein lies the rub.

one of the options is a new high school, non-magnet, built w/ a grant from the gates foundation. it is in the town beside ours. we would have to provide transportation. god knows i better have a job by august (seriously god, before then is imperative) and that would enable me from transporting the girl to that school.

the other two schools are magnets. one operates on the community college schedule---so delays, snow days, etc. don't jive w/ the rest of the school system. i could drop my kid off at a local elementary school where she'd catch a bus to this early college. of course at the end of the day (a couple of hours before most 8-5 jobs are finished) she'd have no way home from the elementary school. same with the other magnet.

so, while it seems like my school district has a ton of options for smart kids...apparently you can only attend them if you have one parent who does not work and is able to take the kid to and from school. really? what kind of fucked up education system is that?

i told the girl. told her i can't think of a way to make any option other than the high school in our town work. she cried. hard. for 45 minutes. she is still blue. she does not want to suffer through high school like she has through middle school.

i wonder if i could hire a chauffeur?

and...when i do go back to work....what to do about childcare for the summer? while i'd probably be ok w/ letting the kids come home after school alone....i wouldn't let them stay here all day every day during the summer alone. they'd die of boredom or kill each other.

i wonder if i could hire a nanny?