Thursday, June 17, 2010

the old me

the other night the hubs said he missed the old me. the peppy happy me. hmmmm. i've been feeling a bit vanilla for a few weeks. i am not depressed or upset about anything, just....ho-hum. there are no highs or lows. it feels kind of like being on paxil or whatever it was i took after the boy was born. it evened out my moods but everything was flat, no highs or lows.

i suppose it is because i am slipping into a hopeless feeling about jobs. i am sort of proud that i've mostly held on to hope and been positive (aside from off and on slips into the pit of despair) for this long. i never, ever anticipated being unemployed for 14 months w/ no end in sight.

i almost hurled the other day when a fb friend made this comment: you have a wonderful life! this after i posted that it was so humid i'd be living in a pony tail this summer, that the kids and i had spent the morning cleaning house and that it was pool-thirty. now, had someone else made that comment i would have thought they were being sarcastic. however, the person who made the comment isn't sarcastic and she was actually saying i have a wonderful life. she is also one that has commented off and on to enjoy my time off and being w/ my kids. yeah, she can say this as she owns her own business and is making money. i want to gibbs slap her.

speaking of gibbs---the girl and i have started watching ncis. we are true drama queens---by that i mean we are suckers for a drama show. i wonder if i should be alarmed that the girl wants to be like one of the female characters who is a trained assassin.

we're almost through the first full week of summer vacay and the kids have actually (mostly) been good. they've been in the pool just about every day, between our summer thunder storms. we have been playing a lot of a card game called bs.

i need to get my head back on straight and pull myself out of this wallowing i'm doing about the non-profit not calling me in for an interview. the longer this drags out the less hope i have for getting that job.


Just B said...

Your pipe dream is a lot like my pipe dream. In fact, your whole life, right down to the cashed in 401k, is a lot like my life!

Just B said...

Oh, and I really like the new blog look!

cheatymoon said...


Just explained the rules to BS for my boy... great game.

Hang in there. xoxo

Surely said...

Gibbs Slap? What is that? Is it like a bitch slap? All I could imagine was Jimmy Fallon on SNL yelling "I'm Barry Gibb Dammit!"

Know that most of my FB replies are laced with wit and sarcasm. (:-D

Something will come through... Rinse & Repeat until it does...something will come through...something will come through...

my word captcha is "moboat" which is making me giggle....

drollgirl said...

ack. ACK. a job has to pan out soon! it has to! cripes!

and don't watch dexter with your kids. don't! it is such a good show, but i think anyone that sees it gets fancy ideas of murdering bad guys.

Fragrant Liar said...

LOVIN' your new blog look, sister.

14 months is a loooooong time to be out of a job, and yeah, it sucks and all, but you do have positives to look at -- things to be grateful for, right? So it could be a whole lot worse.

But I do hear ya. Unemployment when you need to be bringing in the checks SUCKS!

The Mayor said...

I can't help but wonder what life is going to look like when all of us who cashed in 401k's and life insurance to make ends meet should be retiring.

NCIS-we are all about it, esp NCIS L.A.

I am in such a state of overwhelm packing and preparing to move to Austin that I haven't seen my real personality in a very long time. I miss it.

Not Your Aunt B said...

It's in the air. Vanilla gets old unless it is vanilla vodka mixed with some diet coke. That's what we all need.