today is a good day. i've started mentally labeling my days. good days vs. bad days. i am emotionally all over the place with this joblessness thing. so far the bad days have out numbered the good days. i have pulled away from my friends, haven't blogged as much, have had only the most necessary contact with people in general, ya know, outside of my immediate family.
i still feel like a raw nerve (hence the reason for pulling back because the slightest thing sets me off), but today it is better.
i had a second meeting w/ a guy who wants me to do some freelance writing for him. not only does it mean some money it boosts my ego. i have never been a very self confident person and i think a lot of my self confidence has come from my job. when i am in a job, even though i feel like a fraud, i do feel like i know what i'm doing. so, to have someone hire me to write something made me feel good. i have about a month to do it, which is plenty of time.
i have been having vivid work-related dreams. in one a former boss, who i respected a lot and liked as a person, hired me and some other co-workers for a company he'd just started. in the dream he told everyone in the company except me what the company was really about and what the project really was. i was left in the dark and felt betrayed.
in another dream i went back to my former office and one person (who's a friend of mine) would talk to me, everyone else ignored me. i started looking around and people who were laid off in january and people laid off when i was were rehired and i wasn't.
i will make a more concerted effort to get back to my blog reading and commenting too. i know you have all been waiting w/ bated breath for my pithy comments ; )