true confessions

i have to confess an addiction.

i have an addictive nature. when i find something i like i can't get enough of it. it consumes me. i want it.all.the.time. this is not a shock or surprise to me, and it shouldn't be to those of you who've been reading for any amount of time.

i could totally be an alcoholic except i don't like puking. but that's not my confession. (not liking to puke is also why i prefer mary jane.)

i'm addicted to blogging friends. i want to write them. i want to read them.

although i had a great weekend with the family at the beach, i had no internet access. i didn't really notice until monday on the way home. i couldn't wait to get online and read all of your posts and post some of my own.

i've "met" some cool people online. i feel connected to them. i read them every day, i know about their kids, their struggles with parenting, their good times, their bad. it helps me not feel like such a fuck up to realize that my kids aren't the only ones who don't eat what they should or clean their rooms like they should. it helps me realize that i'm not the only one out there who sometimes fucks up as a parent/spouse/friend/etc.

since i started blogging there have been two blogs i read on a regular basis (and totally enjoyed) that disappeared. i always wondered what happened to them; why they quit blogging; what's happened to them since; if they've started new blogs. it's like something left undone.

i get excited when i find new blogs. sometimes i find them through other people's blog comments, sometimes just through random searches.

i think blogging is perhaps the best example of how small the world actually is. though we're all individuals we share so many of the same thoughts and challenges, regardless of where we live.

blogging is also a huge writing outlet for me. my job pretty much stiffles my creativity, not that my posts are by any means creative, but they allow me to express myself. i feel blogging has brought me closer to some of my irl friends i don't get to see very often. for example, one friend in particular (who needs to start her own damn blog) and i are in contact now more than ever, and i think a lot of it has to do with her reading my blog. we have not worked together for...dear lord...more than 8 years? we always kept in touch, but not as frequently as i do now.

do you find yourself thinking in blog posts? i do. i can be doing something totally random and i'm already thinking about what my blog post will be. or, something will happen and i'm all---omg i can't wait to post about that.