ah...fall is here this weekend. i don't know if she's here to stay, but she is here. sporting events yesterday for the girl and the nephew. good. chili for dinner. good. but...i have been slowly walking down this hill into....slump. i told my friend texas about it a while ago--it's like nothing BAD has happened, i am not having an issue (aside from the ongoing head-shaking stuff of my parents/sister). i have a job, even if there are days that i have to amuse myself for fear of falling asleep. those are the longest days. i am just....vanilla.
do you ever get that way? i am not sad over anything. nobody has burst my bubble. no one is being particularly dickish to me. i just feel blah.
i blew up at my family friday after work because of the house. when i was laid off the house was my job. i might not have been the best at it, but i did it. i resented it being taken for granted, but i did it. now that i'm working and the kids have afterschool/evening activities it seems overwhelming. the hubs handles 95% of the evening activities (the boy's karate) so that does count for something. gah, i just need to get over myself and buck up right?
my kids are healthy. they seem to be adjusting well to their first years of middle and high school. their grades so far are great. they are interested in new things (drama and band). the hubs is mostly the best husband ever. i have a job and am getting paid so i don't have to worry about how to pay the bills. so what the fuck is my problem????? i keep coming back to this part in the book the help (have you read it? if not you should, it's a great great read). one of the maids is just perplexed because her boss, who seemingly has everything a person could want/need (except for a child and friends) is blue all the time. the maid says something to the effect of, "it's just like a white person to have everything under the sun and and not be happy." i'm paraphrasing, but that's what i took away from it.
3 comments:
I do know what you mean. To be fair, to have "everything (except a child and friends)" sort of sucks. I did like that book tho. But I do know people who seemingly have it all, but are depressed.
I would say to you, what do you think is missing? Maybe you want to be more creative and are feeling squelched at your new job?
I know I am down, but I know why. (ACK.) (LOL.)
Other half just handed me a gourmet lunch. Seriously. He is too nice to me. Gotta go eat now. xo
Oh I get ya.
I blame our shared need/love for change.
Crisis would do in a pinch, but too much time without one or the other can make people who thrive on it quite uncomfortable and unhappy.
Time for a new hobby. Something fun. You'll perk right up, if you find the right attention sucker.
I can relate. I have felt blah for the past couple of days. At least that's when I noticed feeling that way. I feel like I am in a rut, and I don't even want to talk about it. BLAH!
Sweet T
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