Friday, October 16, 2009

bullying my ass

*no, this is not a post about anal sex. if that's what you were looking for come back later...i mean move along.

we have had a bit of drama a chez kerfuffle (how apropos no?) this week.

monday the girl came home as usual and after she laid down her book bag she came to me in tears. she'd been reported to the bully patrol. she was hysterical. she kept saying she was sorry, she hadn't bullied anyone; it was the hard crying, where you can't understand a word they're saying, and they're hiccuping at the same time. she was devastated.

i can hear you, those of you who know her IRL, saying WTF? the girl? a bully? uh, no fucking way. i am not one of those parents who think their kid does no wrong---but the girl being called a bully would be saying i don't have a dirty mind. it's just never going to be.

apparently she and a friend had a tiff in class on friday about who was going to grade whose (or who's?) paper. there was no yelling, no cussing, etc. the girl and i do not like in person confrontation at all. and particularly not at school, work, public. so i know this was not a fight. later that day the other little girl and her "posse" kept talking about and pointing at the girl.

monday the girl was called in to the vice principal's office because someone had made an anonymous call to the bully hot line saying she was bullying this little girl. oy fucking vey. the vp got the girl's side of the story and basically told her to try to avoid the drama in the future. um, unkay...the girl wasn't creating drama. meanwhile the other little girl is calling their mutual friends and asking which side they're on, threatening them that if they talk about her THEY might get reported, etc. also in the meanwhile she is calling the girl! monday, after the girl comes home devastated and beside herself this little bitch tries to call her 4 times.

finally the girl answers the phone (on speaker so i can hear) and the little bitch tries to act like nothing happened. basically the call was, hey, i'm bored what are you doing? the girl and i are looking at each other incredulously when the girl says to her--you know, you can't be mean to a friend like that and expect to keep them, goodbye. and she hung up.

the hubs was ready to go to school monday and open a can of whoop ass. the girl was not yet ready to unleash him. tuesday came and went, no drama.

wednesday the girl came home, in tears but not hysterical, again. she was again talked to by the vp because someone called, anonymously, AGAIN! the girl had not even talked to this little bitch in school since the friday incident and out of school not since the phone call, even though the little bitch was calling the girl and leaving messages.

the girl was ready for the hubs to get involved. she gets home from school by about 2:10--the hubs dropped what he was doing and was at the school w/in 20 minutes. he explained that the girl was not a bully and that maybe this anonymous hot line, while useful in some instances, was being used to stir shit in this case. the vp agreed that might be possible. duh. the hubs said that while he was sure in two years when the boy got to middle school, that he and she would be on a first name basis, he was quite certain that the girl was not bullying anyone and she needed to quit being called in to the office because she was getting highly upset and that in turn highly upset the hubs.

after his visit w/ the vp she got a phone call from one of the girl's friend's parents who also was pissed about this situation. her child is a mutual friend of the girl and the bitch and the bitch kept calling her trying to put her in the middle and throwing out veiled threats about this girl getting reported too. this girl's mother was also pissed and let the vp know about it.

thursday night the vp called the hubs while he was taking the boy to karate. she had gotten to the bottom of the issue. the little bitch was upset because the girl and the mutual friend were becoming better friends and she felt left out. so, she decided to cause some drama to force the attention back on her, hoping this would bring her and the girl closer. uh fucking REALLY? she is out of her fucking 7th grade mind if she thinks she will ever be allowed to come to a party, sleep over, play date at this house ever, ever again, i don't care if she and the girl eventually make up. but, i kinda doubt this little plan of hers will work--the girl does not like getting in trouble at school. she does not like this type of drama. way to go douche canoe kid.

while we're on the subject of the girl---

her cell phone curfew is 9 pm. she cannot call or text after 9 pm. most school nights my kids go to bed at 9 pm (they are soon to be 10 and 12). i cannot tell you how many texts the girl gets after 9pm, usually from the same girl. and the thing is? the girl says she has told her friends of this curfew and a few of them ignore it. and the one that ignores it the most is a little girl i know well, know her parents well and i have the feeling they have no idea she's doing it. i am nosey mcnosey butt and i periodically ask about texts and calls. the girl knows i can, and do, pick up her phone at will to review her messages. i don't do this often, i've done it maybe twice since she got it. i also know that because she knows this she can delete anything she doesn't want me to see. but, i talk openly to her about what she says or does there can be seen by anyone because kids forward shit, etc..

also, semi non sequitor---i walk my kids to the bus stop. is that weird? the girl's stop is retarded. it literally is at the end of our street (the bus drives by our house to get to her stop, and she's the only one at the stop), which is two houses away. i cannot see it from our house because of trees. however, it is at the intersection of a busy rural road and while there is a street light there, i am not comfortable, especially now that it is dark, for her to stand there for 5-10 mins by herself in the morning.

the boy's stop is also semi near, but it is around the corner in a neighbor's driveway (because their last kid is in 5th grade), which faces this same busy rural road. although the sun is up by the time he's to be at the bus stop, i still don't feel comfortable having him stand there in the morning.

they both get off the buses, at the same stops, in the afternoon and i do not meet them. seems weird huh?


Gal Friday said...

Insane drama--I hate stoopid drama.
I feel for your kid and you(and the Hubs) for having to deal with all that. What the hell is this "bullying hotline", anyway?!
Sometimes...don't you wish they were back in diapers--I swear it was all esier then....(we have been dealing with after 9:00 cell phone calls from my daughter's friends, too...gggrrrr...)

Pseudo said...

Leave it to a cat styled bully to use the hotline to creat bullying drama.

What a biotch on wheels that young one is.

justsomethoughts... said...

i hate drama.
that little ---- is pathetic.
vice principals have no backbone or balls.
and there you have it.
my world view in a few short sentences.

Anonymous said...

Did said little girl get her turn in the VP's office?
I'd hate to be the VP when your hubs showed up at the school!!

cheatymoon said...

VP is a thankless job. The one at my son's middle school and I had a very close phone relationship that first year of middle school! We're friends now. (Once he started seeing things my way. Ha.)
Bullies suck.
Also, cell phones suck for teens. They are nothing but expensive leashes.

Penny said...

Oh man...girls are so mean. You could not pay me to redo 7th-10th grade due to the horribleness. Poor kid (yours), I hope she is OK.

Penny said...

OH, I can guarantee you I will/would walk my kid to the bus stop if was dark too...that is just how I roll.

Astarte said...

Oh, GOD, girl drama!!!!! Reading that post brought back so many horrible, terrible memories, I wanted to get in bed and rock!!!!! I'm really, really glad that they got to the bottom of the whole mess, and also that other parents know and got involved. That girl just dug herself a social grave. I don't think that anonymous hotlines for kids are a great idea. There should be *some* way to track these things, to make sure that things like this don't happen. Also, the VP should have tried to verify the tip with the other teachers, etc, to see what they thought. Have they made any changes in how the system is run based on this?