Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Homeland Security

This dress raises so many...uh, questions and offers so many openings for...ribbing.

In this case I guess size really does matter (and I'm sorry if you say it doesn't I'll call you a liar).

If the dress is too small do you get it in a lubed variety?

What about flavors? Yes, there are flavored condoms out there, do not ask me how I know.

Can you wear this dress outside? I only ask because don't most condoms say do not expose to heat and sunlight for long periods of time? If you do will the dress just disintigrate?

If you wear this dress, should men take it as a sign that you are always prepared?

What if Monica Lewinsky would have worn this dress instead of that blue one?

If you wore this dress outside and it rained would you still need an umbrella?

Oh, and Happy 2006--it's going to be a kick ass year!

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