Tuesday, January 15, 2008

i think i can i think i can

ok, so i'm not the little engine that could but i am slowly, very slowly still inching out of that funk that very nearly drove me to therapy or medication. by no means do i think i'm out of the woods because i still wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work and i'm still a bit freaked out about certain aspects of my stupid job, but i'm working on it.

i know big t will ask me if i've applied for a job she sent me info on and no i haven't. as much as this one is making me sick right now i don't really want to go back into marketing. i hated that too. maybe i'm too picky? plus i realized something. when my big boss told me i freaked him out because of my bi-polarness, i mean inconsistencies, i realized that i'm confident and happy with the writing/editing part (cept for so much travel) but it's that conference part that freaks me out and that i have no clue about.

today was partly good because i pretty much filled the panels that were the root of this whole thing. now for the consumer panel but that shouldn't be as hard.

however, another little interesting thing popped up today. remember all the shit i had been going through with my eyes, getting the right contacts, yada yada yada that went on for months? well i had a checkup w/ the eye doctor this morning for those pesky cataracts he found this summer. apparently, though they are a pretty petal shape he said, they have also gotten worse. still not to the point of needing surgery, but they've changed in three months. so i get to go back again in three months. he then asked me what my heritage is. wtf? uh, german for sure and some other stuff. why? well he said, Scandinavian people along with irish and scottish have a higher percentage of having this certain, uncommon type of glaucoma that my particularly lovely type of cataracts could be an early sign of. nice huh? so on the way back to work i call my mom. hey, what are we? oh, german and irish on the her side and irish, scottish and cherokee on my dad's (ok, so i'm like 1/32nd cherokee, like you could ever tell that--me paley mcpale pale LOL). and my dad and his mom had cataracts and my other maw-maw had glaucoma. however, my doctor said i probably don't have that glaucoma, he just wants to monitor me for it and if indeed i do have to have cataract surgery on down the line it's really no biggie. ok but still, we're talking about my eyes here. it's one thing to wear glasses/contacts since seventh grade, but seriously? blindness? i understand though that one of the treatments for glaucoma is prescription marijuana, so hey, it's not all that bad! LOL

i added another blog to my list on the right, yet another good friend has entered the blogland. now i can learn about sports and politics. yeah me : )


Anonymous said...

Big T says - If you, the more qualified, won't apply I will. The wrath of the alpha female is getting to me.

Creative Kerfuffle said...

oh big t, i totally feel your pain. though the queen of evil only drops into my world a few times a year i know how horrible her wrath can be. i say go for it because i don't think i'm the more qualified one and you very often sell yourself short. you are totally qualified for that job.
plus, the hubs does know people who know people that do certain things to bad people and when i ranted about her he offered to talk to those people. you know how he feels about you so i'm sure he'd offer that same service to you ; )